Goodness. I know that I can’t be the only one who is tripping out that spring is literally days away. Even as I’m typing all of this out, I’m trying to figure out where January and February went because it has pretty much all been a blur. Anyway, since time couldn’t care less about what we think of it (LOL), if there’s one thing I’m learning, the older I get, is to simply accept that it’s gonna move, sometimes faster than I would like — and so, I need to prepare for it: mind, body, and spirit.
Today? We’re gonna tackle the body and more specifically, our skin. Why? Because with the spring season comes showing more of it while also spending more time outdoors. So, don’t you want to do that without feeling subconscious due to any skin issues you might have? Ones that, honestly, you can get on top of before the spring season gets into full swing?
You’ve read the title already and yes, I meant what I said. Even though springtime is right around the corner, if you’re willing to implement these 10 skin-positive tips ASAP, you can still significantly improve the quality of your skin and its appearance before you put your first spring dress on. Promise.
1. Use Cleansing Brushes
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Imma tell y’all what: one of the best things that I ever did for my face (and neck) is start using an electric cleaning brush. Hands down, it’s one of the quickest and most effective ways to exfoliate your skin and, if you use them consistently, over time, you will notice that your skin feels smoother and looks brighter too.
I will give you a heads up that if you’ve never used cleaning brushes before and you have acne-prone or oily skin, you might notice extra pimples or irritated skin after the first week or so of using them; however, that is a temporary issue. Your skin is simply not used to that level of deep cleaning and it all should pass within an additional 1-2 weeks or so.
By the way, for this reason, you might want to use a gentler cleanser than usual since the brushes are going to be doing so much of the work. As far as which brushes are best, InStyle has a list of recommendations here and Cosmo also does here.
2. Cleanse Your Face with Raw Milk
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Speaking of a gentle cleanser, if you’re looking for one, how about raw milk? If you’re curious about what that is, it’s basically milk that has not yet been pasteurized. And while you should take a hard pass on drinking it (because harmful bacteria tend to be in it), when it comes to your skin, specifically, it can be good for you. That’s because its properties are great when it comes to toning your skin, deeply moisturizing it, speeding up the healing process of breakouts, protecting your skin from damaging sun rays and even reducing the appearance of dark circles around your eyes.
Farms are typically where you can find raw milk the easiest. If you don’t know a farmer personally, check out Real Milk’s site (here) for a list of places that make raw milk available to customers.
3. Exfoliate with Baking Soda
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When I was growing up, my mother put me on to brushing my teeth with baking soda and hydrogen peroxide. It wasn’t until I was an adult, though, that I learned anything about using baking soda as a skin exfoliant. Since it contains pretty potent antibacterial properties and has a gritty feel to it, if you’re looking for an all-natural exfoliant that will help to treat acne, eczema, psoriasis or help to remove ingrown hairs or even treat fungal infections — baking soda has a pretty solid reputation when it comes to all of these things. Just make sure that you apply it to damp skin because the texture of it will be too rough (especially on your face) otherwise.
4. Or Try Some Coffee Grounds
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Since exfoliants are so great at cleaning out pores, improving the texture of your skin, and providing a radiant glow to it as well, let’s talk about one more all-natural option: coffee grounds. Earlier this year, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “Why Caffeine Is Great For You On The Beauty Regimen Tip” because, even if you aren’t much of a java drinker, you still should keep some around for your skin’s sake. One way that coffee grounds are bomb is the high amount of antioxidants in them can actually help to improve the collagen and elastin levels in your skin; this means that coffee grounds are a wonderful anti-aging skin remedy.
One recipe that I like is mixing some brown sugar (another good exfoliant that also acts as a humectant), some sweet almond oil (which is full of vitamins A and E as well as fatty acids), and some coffee grounds. Your skin will be super smooth and more even-looking, even after the first use. I can just about guarantee it.
5. DIY Your Toner
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If there is one skin step that I think far too many of us skip (and shouldn’t), it is toner. If you can personally attest to that fact, make a commitment to apply it regularly and consistently to your current skin regimen. Toner not only deeply cleanses your pores, but it also moisturizes and brightens your skin too. As a bonus, toner also deeply hydrates your skin and, if you happen to have naturally oily skin, it can help to keep your sebum in balance.
Although there are plenty of toners on the market (witch hazel is a really good economical option, by the way), don’t sleep on going the DIY route when it comes to this skin treatment. Why? Because when you can control the ingredients that are in your toner, you can feel confident about what you’re applying directly to your skin. Hello Glow is one site that offers almost 20 different recipes. You can check them all out here.
6. Treat Pimples with Manuka Honey
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I’ve actually been knowing about the benefits of manuka honey for a hot minute now (check out “Manuka Honey Is The Ultimate Beauty Find”). If you’re curious about what makes it so different from regular honey, the main standout is it contains a significantly higher amount of antibacterial and anti-inflammatory properties. Health-wise, that means it can strengthen your immunity, soothe a stubborn cough, and even help to prevent tooth decay.
As far as your skin goes, it’s the kind of honey that reduces the appearance of pimples (by killing the bacteria in them and reducing the inflammation of infected pores) and it can give your skin a boost in moisture if you choose to wash with it.
7. Use a Vitamin C Serum
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As far as beauty trends go, something that isn’t going away, any time soon, is vitamin C serum. Good thing too because there are tons of ways that it benefits the skin. Now that we’ll (hopefully) be seeing the sun more often as well as feeling its effects, vitamin C comes in handy because it can help to protect your skin from the potential damage of UV rays. Plus, it has the ability to reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, boost the production of collagen, even your skin tone, brighten its complexion, and reduce hyperpigmentation.
Since there are a myriad of different serums to choose from, the cheat code is to look for the kind that has a concentration of around 15 percent and is in dark-colored packaging (it’ll last longer that way). If you’d like some additional help on selecting a vitamin C serum that’s best for our skin (Black skin), YouTuber April Basi is a Black female chemist who’s got some solid intel. You can check out one of her videos on the topic here.
8. Consume “Skin-Friendly” Foods
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It would be pretty ludicrous to write an article about how to create flawless skin and not address things like diet. After all, it’s been long documented that white foods (like white bread, white rice, and white pasta), sugar, dairy, soda, and fried foods (for starters) can cause all kinds of chaos to your skin if they aren’t consumed with extreme moderation. So, what foods are actually good for your skin?
Citrus fruit (they’re high in vitamin C); oatmeal (it’s full of nutrients like zinc and magnesium); berries (they stimulate collagen production); broccoli (it’s filled with antioxidants); salmon (it’s got an abundance of fatty acids); sunflowers (they’re rich in vitamin E), and sweet potatoes (they’ve got lots of vitamin A and beta-carotene).
9. Learn More About Photosensitivity
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Okay, so this just might be your “something new” for the day. Although photosensitivity might sound like it’s a complex topic, at the end of the day, when it comes to your skin, there are simply certain ingredients that could make it more vulnerable to the sun and the damage that it can do (like premature fine lines and wrinkles). Ingredients like what? Well, retinol, glycolic acid, and salicylic acid, for starters.
So, what if you rely on those to keep your skin clear? No worries. Simply make it a point to apply those things at night instead of in the day. That way, you can still take advantage of their benefits without making your skin super susceptible to the potential of sun-related drama.
10. Apply Avocado Oil at Night
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One more. An oil that I’ve grown to like to cook with and apply to my skin is avocado oil. As far as my skin goes, it’s got a lot of fatty acids in it, along with vitamins A, D, and E, potassium, and oleic acid (which helps with collagen production). Avocado oil is also a great skin moisturizer (without being uber greasy), can help to relieve dandruff and dry nail cuticles, reduces the inflammation that’s associated with breakouts, and can slow down the signs of aging too.
Listen, you’re gonna be in bed for 6-8 hours every night, right? Before turning in, pamper your skin with a little oil, so that it will look that much more beautiful come morning — as you welcome yet another (almost) springtime day!
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Kayla Nicole says she wore a dress that was once worn by Braxton herself for the Halloween costume. “It’s not a secret Toni is more on the petite side. I’m obsessed with all 5’2” of her,” she tells xoNecole via email. “But I’m 5’10'' and not missing any meals, honey, so to my surprise, when I got the dress and it actually fit, I knew it was destiny.”
The episode was the perfect way for the multihyphenate to take control of her own narrative. By addressing the viral moment on her own platform, she was able to stir the conversation and keep the focus on her adoration for Braxton, an artist she says she grew up listening to and who still makes her most-played playlist every year. Elsewhere, she likely would’ve received questions about whether or not the costume was a subliminal aimed at her ex-boyfriend and his pop star fiancée. “I think that people will try to project their own narratives, right?” she said, hinting at this in the episode. “But, for me personally – I think it’s very important to say this in this moment – I’m not in the business of tearing other women down. I’m in the business of celebrating them.”
Kayla Nicole is among xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, powered by SheaMoisture, recognized in the Viral Voices category for her work in media and the trends she sets on our timelines, all while prioritizing her own mental and physical health. As she puts it: “Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē.”
Despite being the frequent topic of conversation online, Kayla Nicole says she’s learning to take advantage of her growing social media platform without becoming consumed by it. “I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out,” she says.
On The Pre-Game, which launched earlier this year, she has positioned herself as listeners “homegirl.” “There’s definitely a delicate dance between being genuine and oversharing, and I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Now I share from a place of reflection, not reaction,” she says. “If it can help someone feel seen or less alone, I’ll talk about it within reason. But I’ve certainly learned to protect parts of my life that I cherish most. I share what serves connection but doesn’t cost me peace.
"I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out."
Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Throughout each episode, she sips a cocktail and addresses trending topics (even when they involve herself). It’s a platform the Pepperdine University alumnus has been preparing to have since she graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism, with a concentration in political science.
“I just knew I was going to end up on a local news network at the head anchor table, breaking high speed chases, and tossing it to the weather girl,” she says. Instead, she ended up working as an assistant at TMZ before covering sports as a freelance reporter. (She’s said she didn’t work for ESPN, despite previous reports saying otherwise.) The Pre-Game combines her love for pop culture and sports in a way that once felt inaccessible to her in traditional media.
She’s not just a podcaster, though. When she’s not behind the mic, taking acting classes or making her New York Fashion Week debut, Kayla Nicole is also busy elevating her wellness brand Tribe Therepē, where she shares her workouts and the workout equipment that helps her look chic while staying fit. She says the brand will add apparel to its line up in early 2026.
“Tribe Therepē has evolved into exactly what I have always envisioned. A community of women who care about being fit not just for the aesthetic, but for their mental and emotional well-being too. It’s grounded. It’s feminine. It’s strong,” she says. “And honestly, it's a reflection of where I am in my life right now. I feel so damn good - mentally, emotionally, and physically. And I am grateful to be in a space where I can pour that love and light back into the community that continues to pour into me.”
Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by Malcolm Roberson
Contentment. By definition, it’s the state of not only being “satisfied with what one is or has” but also “not wanting more or anything else.” And you know what? Although it might not be a popular aspiration of many, it is a sign of spiritual maturity on certain levels. After all, it is the Apostle Paul who once said, “Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content…” (Philippians 4:19 — NKJV).
Being content is about not complaining. Being content is about learning to be comfortable in your present circumstances. Being content is about choosing to find joy and fulfillment, on some level, and in some way, on a daily basis.
Personally, I dig all of this so much because when you have mastered true inner contentment, it creates stability, self-awareness, and a type of resilience that makes you…shoot, powerful beyond measure, if you ask me. Because when someone knows how to “find the good” and “make peace,” regardless of what is going on around them, they truly are unstoppable. Yeah, on so many levels, contentment is the ultimate life hack. It’s something that each and every one of us should aspire to become: completely and genuinely content.
Thanksgiving is basically moments away at this point. In preparation for that time of self-reflection, pour yourself a glass of wine, turn on some soft music, sit on your coach, and then ask yourself, “Am I content?” If you’re not sure (or you need the definition unpacked for you just a bit more), here are seven signs that you may not be…and yet, there is no time like the present to do something about it.
1. You’re Super Impatient
GiphyHonestly, putting another Scripture right here could be all that is needed in order to bring this point to a swift and abrupt end. Which one? I Corinthians 13, the Love Chapter, starts off with “Love is patient” (I Corinthians 13:4). Yeah, if you want to know if you love yourself and love yourself well, how patient are you…including with yourself? Throughout the years, I have shared one of my favorite definitions of "patient" in several different articles: “bearing provocation, annoyance, misfortune, delay, hardship, pain, etc., with fortitude and calm and without complaint, anger, or the like.” For me, it’s a blaring reminder that mastering patience isn’t just about waiting (more on that in a sec); it’s about waiting with grace.
Content people can do this because, on some level, they know how to apply the John Piper quote, "God is always doing 10,000 things in your life, and you may be aware of three of them." Another way of looking at this is people who can wait well — without complaining or getting annoyed by delays or challenges in the meantime — get that in order for things to truly come together, there are lots of moving parts…some that they don’t even know about. And so, if they want the best outcome, yes, waiting well is oftentimes not just involved; it is required.
Impatient people don’t get any of this. That’s why they are so stressed out all of the time.
2. You’re Worried About Things You Can’t Control
GiphyThis. Past. Election. Chile. And then the cabinet that that man is putting together as we speak? I don’t even want to get my blood pressure up, expounding on it. Let me just pivot by adding one more Scripture — because it is beyond fitting: “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Matthew 6:34 — NKJV)
Although worrying is something that pretty much everyone does at one point or another, one of my favorite quotes on it is by an American humorist by the name of Erma Bombeck: “Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.” And really, when you stop to really think about worrying, isn’t that the truth? For one thing, all worrying does, by definition, is cause you to torment yourself by focusing on things that aren’t even going to happen (somewhere between 85-90 percent of the time, in fact; there is actually a science on that) or trying to control things that are beyond your control.
If being a worry wart is your internal struggle, my advice would be to look at life this way: If you’re worried that you’re about to get written up for getting to work late again, leave your house earlier — you can control that. On the other hand, if you’re worried that you’re going to get laid off before the holiday season ends, so long as you’ve been doing your best (which is also something that you can control), please put your energy elsewhere because that is something that you can’t control.
And I promise that when you choose to be calm and confident over worrying yourself to death, that can help you to manage what you can’t control so much easier. Oh, and your health will thank you, too, because worry is attached to things like insomnia, muscle tension, headaches, overeating, and drinking too much. All this over things that probably won’t happen in the first place? Yeah, sis…(choose to) relax.
And by choosing to chill out, there is some contentment that follows because you will see the good as much as, if not more than, the potential bad. Trust me.
3. The Past and/or Future Consume You
GiphyOn the heels of the Scripture that I just provided for the previous point, it also applies to this one. You know, back when I was doing some intentional research on forgiveness, I always appreciated the insight of author Gary Zukav: “Forgiveness is accepting that the past cannot change.” While this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t hold people accountable for what they have done, it does help you to be compassionate with those who are truly sorry (check out “Heads Up: It's NOT An Apology If An Amend Isn't Made”) because, no matter what has transpired between you and them, one thing they can’t do is go back into a time machine and change it.
And you know what? When it comes to the mistakes — or, let’s be real, sometimes they are conscious poor decisions — you have made, you can’t either. So, why let their misdeeds or your own consume you to the point of internally destroying you?
Then there’s the future. What if you get robbed? What if your mom gets cancer? What if your husband files for divorce? Girl, if you are caught up in the future that hasn’t even happened yet, you are definitely gonna drive yourself up the wall! And this is why so many mental health experts and platforms are all about encouraging individuals to live in the moment. You can do this by meditating, taking breaks from social media (and the news), journaling, doing things that you enjoy (instead of waiting to put them off), and resting.
Listen, one of the best things about choosing to only focus on the here and now is you can find little things about it to be content with — and that helps you to be/become more content overall.
4. You Always Think About Wanting More
GiphyAlthough it certainly wasn’t my plan for this piece to be so Scripture-heavy, I’ve got to flow with what immediately comes to mind and, for this point, the verse, “So are the ways of everyone who is greedy for gain; It takes away the life of its owners” (Proverbs 1:19 — NKJV) is it. And just what does it mean to be greedy? A greedy individual isn’t just low-key obsessed with getting and having more — please catch it — they are also quite EAGER.
Eager folks also tend to be impatient. Eager folks are perceived by others as being very intense (and not in a good way). More times than not, eager folks haven’t really mastered how to take a moment to appreciate what they do have because all they care about is what’s next. And when you’re in a state of that kind of, well, anxiety…how could it not affect your quality of life? I mean, really.
And what if you read all of that and said, “I’m not greedy; I’m just ambitious” — listen, there is nothing wrong with having goals and wanting to obtain them. However, an ambitious individual knows how to find balance. If they get a promotion, they will schedule a vacation to celebrate it. If they just got a new car, they are not in a rush to get a new house until they can financially afford it. If they were just proposed to with a really nice ring, they aren’t hounding their new fiancé about setting a date within the next two weeks.
People who always want more, without taking the time to enjoy what they already have, are never going to be content. Why? Because there is always something else that you can want…even if you don’t need it or it really isn’t the time for it. Meanwhile, content people get that it’s a good thing to not go after everything all of the time; that it’s far wiser to embrace what is already before them — because some folks don’t even have…that.
5. You Compare Yourself to Others
GiphySomething that I actually get asked fairly often is, do I feel “some type of way” that I do so much work in the realm of marriage when I’ve never been married myself. The short answer is “absolutely not” because I know that I could’ve been married, a few times over, at this point; however, I am just as intentional about not wanting to be divorced as I am about being in a healthy marriage, not just “a marriage.”
I’m grateful to be in that head and heart space too; otherwise, I would be out here comparing myself to other people — and there is nothing good, healthy, wise, profitable, or beneficial about doing that. In fact, science isn’t a fan of playing the “keeping up with the Joneses” game, either.
According to science, that can ultimately do things like lower your self-esteem, cause you to only see the bad/negative things in your world (in comparison to other people), and it can jack up your perception of what’s really going on with other people. For instance, if you’re 33 and comparing yourself to your friends who are already married and parents, you might want to talk to them about what their day-to-day, beyond their IG posts, is like.
Because while prayerfully, their life is filled with many blessings, if they are being totally honest with you, they will also share that you’ve got some “pros” to your life too (honey, there are some real benefits to being single; check out “If You're Not In Love With Being Single, Ask Yourself These 6 Questions.,” “10 Bona Fide Benefits Of Being Single,” and “10 Words That'll Make You Totally Rethink The Word 'Single'”). Content people get that every season does — because it’s true.
6. You Don’t Verbalize Gratitude Often
GiphyThere is someone in my world who I actually try to avoid as much as possible. It’s not that she’s not smart, and honestly, she’s one of the funniest individuals that I’ve ever known (and I’ve known her for most of my adult life). It’s just that…she is always wanting something, and I find that to make her a very draining individual. Lawd, even as I am typing all of this out, I’m trying to recall a time when I’ve heard her say, “thank you” for something (no joke), let alone express any form of genuine gratitude. She’s just got such a sense of entitlement that whatever she does receive, she thinks she’s owed and what she doesn’t have, she believes that something is wrong if it hasn’t arrived yet. Geeze, what a horrible type of existence.
You don’t have to take my word for it either because there is plenty of data out here to support that people who don’t take the time to be grateful for what they have ended up being unhappy, more stressed out, in more physical pain (yes, literally) and definitely more negative than everyone else — which would explain why people don’t like hanging out with them as much.
So, since this is the time when gratitude is the theme of the season, think about what you are grateful for when it comes to what you’ve accomplished this year, then write it down and post it up somewhere. Then, as far as the individuals, for whom you are grateful for — send them a handwritten note, get them a gift card to their favorite coffee shop, or even just call to tell them.
One of the most beautiful things about being in a state of contentment is it reminds you of a lot of what you already have. It really is enough…for now…in this very moment.
7. Being (and Living) Satisfied Is a Foreign Concept to You
Giphy“Tubi movies” really is a complete sentence. LOL. And yes, sometimes, when I’m taking a writing break, I will check out some of the most…I-wouldn’t-normally ones, just to lend my support. In walks Never Satisfied with its own self-explanatory meaning. Y’all, it really is oh so true that there are folks out here dealing with some unpredictable and sometimes even truly dire consequences — and it’s all because they didn’t know how to sit down somewhere and learn how to be satisfied with the people, places, things, and ideas that they already have.
That said, I am indeed a quotes gal, and one of my favorites on the topic of satisfaction is by actor Christopher Reeve: “Success is finding satisfaction in giving a little more than you take,” and although I don’t do what I’m about to do often (because I try to take Matthew 6:1-4 very literally and seriously), I’m going to illustrate what he said about satisfaction by sharing a recent situation.
This past week, a nurse practitioner (I prefer those to doctors) diagnosed me with wrist tendonitis for the first time in my life. If you knew how many keystrokes that I do a day, you’d probably be shocked that it took this long. Anyway, as I was waiting in line to get a prescription, a young Black man was basically freaking out because his insurance was refusing to cover his own meds. According to what he was telling the pharmacist, he always only pays $5; however, this time, they were charging $62, he simply didn’t have it, and the insurance company was not picking up.
As I watched him shaking and sweating while saying that he really needed it today and fretting while talking to his mom on the phone, I offered to cover it — and after going back and forth with him for about three minutes, I did. In my mind, although I didn’t plan on spending about $85 (total) that day, the little inconvenience that it was costing me was nothing in comparison to how much it was going to benefit him — I could tell from how he and his mother reacted (even the pharmacist mouthed “thank you so much”), and that is what made it money well spent.
To help someone who had no way of helping themselves in the moment? That brought me a lot of satisfaction because it’s nice to lighten someone’s load while leaving it to karma to handle it. ALL OF IT.
And that’s why I thought it was best to wrap all of this up with a reminder that being satisfied is being content. And when you can be so satisfied with your life that you want to help others? That is a level of contentment that is truly unmatched because you start looking for ways to bless others simply so that they can feel just as content as you do.
____
Our culture? It really is never satisfied, which explains why a lot of people are so miserable. SMDH. You don’t have to be like the masses, though. This Thanksgiving, please purpose in your mind (and heart) to be(come) more content. It will make you a rare gem that benefits everyone and everything around you.
Including yourself, sis. No doubt about it.
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Originally published on November 28, 2024