

Since this is the time of the year when, even those who try to avoid the kitchen as much as possible still end up preparing at least one homemade dish, I thought it would be cool to inspire you to pick up some extra spices to add to your collection (especially if your spice rack is pretty minimal).
No, not so you’ll find yourself making ginger loaf cake or Christmas cookies for what will feel like the rest of your life — more like so that, after the holiday hype has subsided a bit, you can create some unique ways to use those same cooking spices as beauty treatments for your skin and hair.
Below, I’ve got 12 spices for you that can totally make that happen. So, if all-natural is always what you prefer as far as your beauty regimen goes, I’ve got some proven ways to apply spices that just might surprise you.
1. Cinnamon
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Cinnamon is a spice that comes with all sorts of health benefits. Thanks to its potent antioxidants and anti-inflammatory properties, it’s able to do everything from strengthening your immunity and fighting against infections to helping control your blood sugar levels, lowering your blood pressure, and even keeping your oral health where it needs to be.
The reason why it tops my personal list of bomb beauty hacks is that you can use it as a main ingredient in a DIY bronzer (recipe here), put a teaspoon of it into some lukewarm distilled water and instantly have a homemade mouthwash, or you can sprinkle some of it into a carrier oil like coconut or sweet almond and create a lip gloss that comes with a bit of shimmer. Pretty cool, right?
2. Juniper Berries
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Juniper berries grow on a particular kind of evergreen shrub here in America as well as in Asia and Europe. And although you don’t hear about it a ton, a lot of people like to add them to their potato dishes. Health-wise, they’re good for you because the potent plant compounds in them are also great for your immune system. Plus, they’ve been known to naturally treat diabetes, keep your heart strong, and if you’re looking for a natural way to heal a yeast infection, their antifungal properties are pretty solid, too.
On the beauty tip, some use it as a deeply penetrating and detoxing face mask (recipe here), others like it as a face toner (recipe here), and still, some infuse their own oil so that the astringent properties can help to soothe and heal breakouts (recipe here). Bottom line, if you’re looking for a chemical-free way to clear up your complexion, juniper berries are well worth trying out.
3. Arrowroot
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A veggie that is oftentimes processed as flour and used as a spice is arrowroot. It is packed with fiber, protein, and folate (like a totally off-the-charts amount), and it also has some iron, phosphorus, and potassium in it. If you want to boost your immune system or shed a few pounds, the assistance of arrowroot can make that happen.
It’s the way that arrowroot is used as a beauty source is why I like it so much, though. Some people use it in their all-natural bronzer (recipe here). Others use it as the base for a deodorant paste (recipe here). Some like it as a setting powder (video here). And in extract form, it can be a great spot treatment for pimples. Oh, and if you’d prefer an alternative to skin powder (like if you’ve got big breasts like I do and you want to keep moisture at bay), arrowroot is a wonderful alternative. Yeah, out of all of the spices mentioned, definitely prioritize having this one on tap.
4. Ginger
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I think it’s probably common knowledge at this point that if you’re looking for a spice that makes nausea (which is something that is the absolute worst) easier to deal with, ginger has that covered. However, did you also know that it can bring relief to sore muscles after a workout, lessen the discomfort of menstrual cramps, relieve indigestion, lower your cholesterol levels, help with indigestion, and even improve your brain function?
And what can ginger do for you, beauty-wise? Some folks use it to lighten acne marks, while others find it to be an effective way to treat hair loss or to bring moisture back to their locks. Also, if you add fresh ginger to some coconut oil, its antiseptic properties can treat dandruff or an itchy scalp (you can read more about all of this here).
5. Bay Leaves
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Bay leaves are pretty popular when it comes to making stews and stuffings. Since they’ve got anti-diarrheal, anti-inflammatory, and anti-diabetic properties, as well as vitamins C and E in them, they’re good to use when it comes to all kinds of things from aiding in digestion and strengthening your immune system to potentially preventing kidney stones and improving your memory.
And just why did it make the cut as far as all-natural beauty hacks go? I peeped an article (and recipe here) about it being a pretty good anti-aging ingredient in a face cream. Also, if you brew the leaves, the solution (once it cools, of course) can help to heal acne.
6. Tarragon
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Tarragon is a green herb that’s a great complement to dishes you want to add a hint of citrus to. As far as your health goes, the properties in it help to reduce inflammation, fight off fungal infections, help relieve depression-related symptoms, and even slow down the rate of cancer cells.
Something that tarragon is also known for is being able to significantly speed up the healing process of skin when it comes to issues like dermatitis or surface wounds. There’s also been research around the fact that it can help to improve your quality of sleep. And since sleep deprivation can lead to dark eye circles, fine lines, and even droops at the corner of your mouth — yeah, tarragon deserved to get on this list too, chile.
7. White Pepper
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Something that I personally enjoy cooking with is white pepper. It’s a fave of mine because it provides a “peppery” taste without being as strong as black pepper. If you’re curious about its health benefits, white pepper promotes digestion, lowers your blood pressure, and has quite a few antioxidants in it. Some research says that it can also help to tame a stubborn cough, reduce the pain of a headache, or clear up congestion in your nose as well.
Consider adding it to your beauty regimen if you want to remove unwanted hair (I know, right?), get rid of dandruff, and/or soften the appearance of wrinkles. If you want to read more about all or any of this, StyleCraze has your back right here.
8. Vanilla
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The active ingredient in pure vanilla extract is a plant compound known as vanillin. It’s got antioxidants in it. Not only that, it’s also loaded with anti-inflammatory and anti-cancer properties. Something else that it’s known for is being “neuroprotective;” this means that it helps to protect your brain. So, if you’re looking for a spice that will boost your brain function, lower your blood sugar, relieve anxiety, improve your mood, or, in some cases, even lower your fever — look no further than this sweet lil’ treat.
Since vanilla also has anti-aging properties, you can also use it as an ingredient in a DIY face mask. Or, if you want softer and/or longer hair, you can add it to a carrier oil and create a pampering hair treatment for your tresses, too. You can read more about how to do both of these here.
9. Paprika
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If y’all don’t already know about influencer Christiana’s TikTok page, you betta ask somebody! Lawd, she’s stunning, and I personally think that she represents femininity in such an excellent way. Anyway, whenever I share some of her videos with some of my male friends, it’s hilarious that one of the things they salivate over is her spice collection. In fact, one of my favorite people says that no one is a real cook without one — and paprika is one of the first spices that he looks for.
Anyway, paprika is a healthy spice because it’s a good source of protein, fiber, and vitamin E. It’s got some health benefits, including the fact that it helps to boost your eye health, lower your cholesterol levels, keep your blood healthy, and reduce inflammation. Some health experts also say that paprika can protect your skin from damaging UV rays and help to reduce pain levels as well.
Along with the vitamin E, paprika also contains a good amount of antioxidants. That’s why some combine it with honey in order to give themselves a glowing complexion. I’ve even read that if you want to add a hint of red to your hair without actually applying a brand-name dye, paprika can get the job done (recipe here). The more you know.
10. Horseradish
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Technically, horseradish is considered to be a cruciferous vegetable; however, due to its pretty strong and distinctive flavor, it’s often used as a spice. Since it contains antibacterial properties, horseradish has been hailed as something that can help fight cancer, clear up sinuses, and even help heal chronic nail infections.
And just what can it do for your beauty-wise? A blog that I think is pretty solid is One Good Thing. Jillee shouts it out as a way to soften the appearance of age spots (recipe here). Also, since horseradish is so spicy, Food even published an article (and recipe here) about how applying some of it to your hair (in the form of a mask) can help to increase blood circulation to your scalp, which can ultimately lead to hair growth.
11. Nutmeg
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Looking for a spice that can help to reduce oxidative stress? Nutmeg is able to do that; plus, it can help to fight gum disease, put you in a better mood, help to intensify your libido, and if you add it to some milk (or your favorite milk alternative), it can support you get a good night’s rest too.
Since nutmeg is strong in the anti-inflammatory properties department, many like it when it comes to reducing hyperpigmentation and sebum production (recipe here). It’s also a gentle yet effective skin exfoliant (recipe here). And some nutritionists even believe that its antimicrobial properties can help to cleanse your scalp, reduce dandruff, and increase hair growth over time.
12. Celery Seeds
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It’s kinda wild, just how many nutrients are in tiny little celery seeds. Beta-carotene? It has that. Vitamin C? It has that. Manganese (which helps your body to create bone tissue and strengthen your sex hormones)? It’s got that too. And all of this, along with other things, celery seeds help your system as far as lowering your blood pressure, improving your libido, and even increasing fertility.
If you’re looking for a deep skin cleanser that won’t strip away your natural oils, celery seed in the form of an essential oil can help to hook you up. Also, if you put “celery seed extract” into your TikTok search field, you’ll see that lots of people use it to keep their nail cuticles in good condition.
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See…I told you that spices can have a multi-purpose. So, the next time you head out to the grocery store, pull this article up on your phone and get a few or all of these (remember, the fresher, the better, by the way)! As you just read, they all are good to your taste buds, great for your health, and wonderful when it comes to your appearance. A big win, all the way around…wouldn’t you say? #samehere
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Your February 2025 Horoscopes Are All About Self-Love & Soulful Alignment
Explore your sign’s 2025 horoscope predictions to learn what is in store for you this year in love, career, and more. Check out the love compatibility of each sign to learn more about zodiac pairings and all things compatibility.
February is a coming together, as a culmination of community and abundance is evident. Some significant planets go direct this month after being retrograde since this past year, and we can finally take a deep breath. We walk into the month in Aquarius season, and the focus during this time is on coming together with the people you resonate with on a soul level, opening your heart to love, and gaining perspective in the process. When the Sun is in Aquarius, everything feels more electrified and inspiring, and this is one of the best months of the year to manifest and set your intentions.On Feb. 4, Venus enters Aries, Jupiter goes direct in Gemini, and the energy and passion return. Venus in Aries is fiery, dynamic, and puts self-love first. While Venus is in Aries for the entire month, February is all about going after the things you want in love, and trusting that you will be supported here. Jupiter goes direct on the same day after being retrograde since Oct. 9, and we can see our blessings manifest more effortlessly now, especially regarding communication matters, networking, short travels, education, and the mind. Jupiter finishes its Gemini transit on Jun. 9, so over the next few months, this is a good time to expand your mind and your vision, get creative, and meet new people.
What February 2025 Has In Store For Your Zodiac Sign
The Full Moon of February occurs in Leo on the 12th, and this is the Snow Moon of the year. This Full Moon brings emotions to the surface and creates self-clarity and honesty in the process. This Full Moon is a time to let go of old versions or ideas of yourself that don’t align with who you are today and to focus on what feels authentic and empowering for you right now.
On Valentine's Day, Mercury enters Pisces until Mar. 3, and the mind is on love right now.
While Mercury is in Pisces, we speak in words of poetry and spirituality, and mental connections turn into romantic ones. This is a beautiful energy to walk into on the day of love, signifying an urge to be around people who truly understand you right now.
Pisces season begins on Feb. 18, and we move into a time of closure, healing, creativity, and introspection. On Feb. 23, Mars goes direct in Cancer after being retrograde here since Jan. 6, and being retrograde in general since Dec. 6. With Mars now direct, there is more energy and direction at our disposal, and less confusion on where to go from here. Mars will be direct in Cancer until Apr. 18, and there is a lot of love, support, and intuition to be felt right now. Mars in Cancer supports others while also cherishing boundaries, and this is a good time to feel more stability in matters of the home and heart.
We end the month with a New Moon in Pisces on Feb. 27, and this is a time of magic, dreams coming to fruition, and romance in the air.
A New Moon in Pisces reminds us that what has been lost always comes back around in a new form, and helps us see what our heart is grateful for right now. This is a great New Moon to set your intentions for the future and to dream the dream. Overall, February is an inspiring and enlightening month, and your heart is the one leading the way right now.
Read for your Sun and Rising Sign below to see what February has in store for you.
ARIES
February is all about love for you, Aries. You are thriving within relationship matters as Venus is in your sign for most of this month. Venus moves into Aries on Feb. 4 and will be here until Mar. 27, however, Venus will be going retrograde in your sign on Mar. 1. So, use February to walk into some new beginnings in love, but remember to take your time with things here as well. You are overall feeling more reciprocity, support, and positive recognition now, and self-love is key this month.
On Feb. 12, we have a Full Moon in fellow fire sign Leo, and this Full Moon occurs in your 5th house of romance.
This is a beautiful Full Moon for seeing love bloom and for experiencing a sense of fulfillment that brings you closer to another. Before the month ends, Mars goes direct after being retrograde in an area of your life having to do with the home, family, close loved ones, and emotional stability. With Mars now direct here, new foundations can be built in your world, and you feel more supported and secure as you end the month.
TAURUS
This month is a time to reflect, accept, and move into your new beginning, Taurus. There is a lot to process this month, and with the Sun in your 10th house for most of February, a lot of your focus right now is on your goals, purpose, and life path. The Full Moon happening mid-month is an opportunity for you to see things clearer in the home, and to create space for more support and nourishment here. You are letting go of what is weighing you down or making your emotional world feel more difficult to process this month.
Mercury enters your 11th house of hope, community, friendship, and manifestation on Valentine’s Day this year, and you move into a time of inspiration. You are thinking of all the things that make you feel empowered, loved, and in tune, and it’s time to create more of this energy around yourself. We have a New Moon in this same area of your chart before the month ends on Feb. 27, and you are ready to look forward in life rather than at the past of what could have been.
Overall, this month is about listening to your heart and spending more time taking care of yourself.
GEMINI
February is a chance to take a break, Gemini. You need more time to process and prepare for what’s ahead of you, and you are taking the time to do so this month. February begins with Jupiter going direct in your sign after being retrograde here since Oct. 9. Jupiter, the planet of blessings, will be direct in your sign until Jun. 9, and won’t be here again for another decade. This is your opportunity to set intentions, focus on your dreams, and make some important achievements happen.
Extra good luck and support from the universe are with you now, and the key for you is to let things come to you naturally through patience and dedication.
On Feb. 12, there is a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and some important culminations are coming through in matters of the mind. You are coming to some conclusions about something, and it’s changing your perspective overall. Before the month ends we have a New Moon in an area of your life having to do with your career, professional world, and reputation, and this is a good time to set your intentions for what goals you want to see through right now.
CANCER
February is a month of enlightenment, Cancer. You are aligned with the path you are walking on right now, and everything is starting to make a little more sense to your heart. This month we have a Full Moon in your 12th house of closure, and you are moving away from an emotionally heavy space. You are letting go of a lot of what has kept you conflicted, and there is a sense of peace that is being obtained in the process. This is your month of inspiring others through your resilience and gift of forgiveness.
Mars goes direct in your sign on Feb. 23 after being retrograde here since Jan. 6. With Mars retrograde in your sign since we began the year, there has been a lot for you to reflect on and emotionally process, and you are seeing yourself and your life with a new perspective and passion. Mars will be in Cancer until Apr. 18, and this is the time to take action on the things that you haven’t been ready to move forward with these past few months. On Feb. 27, we have a New Moon in Pisces, and you are leaving the month in the mood for an adventure.
This is the time to get out of your comfort zone, travel, or do something fun.
LEO
February is about protecting your energy and what you are bringing to fruition in your life, Leo. With a Full Moon in your sign mid-month, you are moving through a time of culmination, release, and inner clarity, and there is a lot to reflect on right now. You are recognizing your need to create boundaries from those who don’t serve you or your life path and are focusing on the things that feel good for you.
With the Sun in your 7th house of love for most of the month as well, you are gaining clarity on the relationships you want to move forward with, and where you need to create more space.
Venus is in Aries and in your 5th house of romance, self-expression, creativity, and joy for most of the month, and your heart is yearning for some excitement. When it comes to love in February, opportunities are coming to the surface for you to get out of your head and into your heart, heed the call. At the end of the month, Mars goes direct in your 12th house of closure, and you are moving into a breakthrough. You end February with less weight on your shoulders and more energy to just be.
VIRGO
Trust your intuition this month, Virgo. February is a month of getting organized, gaining clarity, and feeling purposeful. With Jupiter going direct in your 10th house at the start of the month, blessings follow through regarding your career and professional world. The intentions you have been setting and going over these past few months, are coming to fruition for you now, and you are being recognized and supported for your efforts here. This is a month of feeling a level up in your life, and like you are where you want to be.
Mars goes direct on Feb. 23, after being retrograde in an area of your life having to do with friendship, community, and your hopes and dreams over the past month or so. With Mars now direct in Cancer, it’s easier for you to feel hopeful and to see and experience the magic in life. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in your sister sign Pisces on Feb. 27, and love takes on a new beginning. This New Moon is one of the best of the year for you to set your intentions for love, and trust where your heart is being called to right now.
LIBRA
February is all about perspective and the intentions you are setting in your life through the thoughts you are thinking, Libra. The Sun is in your house of romance and Venus is in your house of partnership for most of the month, and there is a lot to look forward to right now. New developments are coming to fruition within your relationships, and you are reaping what you have sown, feeling grateful for what has come to fruition for you.
This is a beautiful month for travel, moving forward in your partnerships, and feeling more commitment and support in doing so.
With Jupiter also going direct this month, your home life and foundations see improvements and expansion. Anywhere you have been feeling limited here is being lifted for you now, and you are able to breathe and think bigger about what is possible for you and your sense of stability in life. The Full Moon happening on Feb. 12, is a chance for you to connect with the people who inspire you, and to let go of anything that doesn’t feel authentic to who you are today or how you feel about things.
SCORPIO
February is a month of feeling loved, Scorpio. Everything's coming together for you exactly how you have envisioned it, and with the Sun in your house of family, support, and foundations, you are feeling closer to your loved ones in the process. We have a Full Moon in your 10th house of career in mid-February, and culminations are coming through in your professional world, as recognition for your efforts and hard work are here for you now. This Full Moon is about taking the time to congratulate yourself for how far you have come and to feel gratitude for your progress in life.
On Feb. 23, Mars goes direct in fellow water sign Cancer, after being retrograde in an area of your life having to do with travel, adventure, spirituality, and education over the past month or so. With Mars now direct, travel plans follow through and it’s easier for you to see the bigger picture. The New Moon of the month takes place on Feb. 27, and this is a beautiful time for you to experience joy and pleasure. You are ending the month by making your inner child happy, showing up, and connecting with the love that surrounds you now.
SAGITTARIUS
This month is a transition month for you, Sagittarius. You are moving on from what has been, and a few of you may even be moving physically or traveling during this time. This is a month of getting into new energy and letting things go where it is needed. February begins with your ruling planet Jupiter going direct after being retrograde since last fall, and you are able to experience more of the blessings in love that you have been looking for.
Love turns a new page this month, and it’s because you are no longer settling for things that don’t align with what you want for yourself or your future.
On Feb. 12, a Full Moon is happening in an area of your life that has to do with your passion, inspiration, travel ventures, and perspective, and you are getting the full picture right now. This Full Moon is about accepting the truths that have come to the surface and following through on plans that you have had for yourself. Mars goes direct in your 8th house of transformation on Feb. 23, and you end the month experiencing a personal breakthrough. A lot is changing for you in February, and you are the one leading these efforts forward because you are owning the life you deserve.
CAPRICORN
A new month is here, and you are looking forward to all of the new experiences you are about to get into, Capricorn. February is an inspiring, passionate, and eye-opening month for you and you are making a lot of progress. With the Sun in your 2nd house of finances, values, and self-confidence for most of the month, you are spending a lot of your time developing new plans and intentions for yourself, especially financially. Mid-month we have a Full Moon in your 8th house of shared resources, and the support that you need to thrive and expand financially right now is becoming clearer to you.
Towards the end of the month, Mars goes direct in your sister sign Cancer, after being retrograde in an area of your life having to do with love, partnership, and harmony over the past month or so. With Mars moving forward again, so are you in love, and your relationship dynamics feel a little more balanced and empowered for you. On Feb. 27, we have a New Moon in Pisces to close out the month, and this New Moon for you is all about setting your intentions regarding communication, networking, and the ideas you want to build off of right now.
AQUARIUS
Your season is here, and everything is falling into place for you now, Aquarius. This is a month of feeling a positive culmination of everything you have been working towards, and seeing the rewards for your efforts. With the Sun in your sign until the 18th, all eyes are on you and you are focused on your personal goals, investments, and self-courage. Jupiter goes direct as we begin the month, turning things around for you in love and helping you see things with a new perspective here.
Blessings and understanding within relationship matters bloom for you now, and you can finally take a break from the confusion here.
With Venus in your 11th house of friendship for most of February, this is the month for connecting with the people who you resonate with on a soul level and giving your heart more time to enjoy the company. The Full Moon happening mid-month occurs in your opposite sign, highlighting your romantic life and sense of partnership. Love comes full circle as you let go of the past here and see the gifts of the partnerships you have been building in your life.
PISCES
February is your month of abundance and opportunities, Pisces. There is a lot to tend to this month, but you have the empowerment and passion to do so. Jupiter goes direct in your 4th house as the month begins, and you are feeling stronger foundations emotionally and within the home right now. Progress is being made in the spaces that are close to the heart, and you are feeling the blessings of support and stability in your life. The Full Moon happening on Feb. 12, is about letting go of unhealthy daily routines or habits and giving yourself more space to figure out what feels right for you.
On Valentine's Day this year, Mercury enters your sign, and your mind is focused on love, understanding, and connection. The conversations you are having now are fulfilling your heart and inspiring you, and you are gaining clarity in relationship matters as well. Pisces season officially begins on Feb. 18, and it’s your time to shine, to love, and to be loved in return.
Before the month ends we have a New Moon in Pisces on Feb. 27, and this is one of the best times of the year for you to set your personal intentions, manifest, and reinvent yourself.
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This Year, Please Don't Let Valentine's Day 'Infect' Your Relationship
Personally, I think that Valentine’s Day and weddings have quite a bit in common. Both can be wonderful days that are centered around love — so long as the real motives are right. Both can also put couples in debt if they are not careful. And boy, if I hear one more woman say that weddings are “MY day” and/or that she isn’t concerned with doing anything for her man on V-Day because “It’s all about ME,” I think I’m going to scream! SMDH.
Indeed, something else that Valentine’s Day and weddings have in common? You can see how genuine or selfish someone truly is.
Maybe one day, I’ll write something, extensively, about how to not ruin your own wedding day by putting more pressure on you, your man, and/or your expectations than you actually should.
For now, though, since Valentine’s Day is once again upon us, I just wanted to share a few keep-it-in-perspective reminders, so that your relationship can actually flourish on the holiday instead of it finding itself on some pretty shaky ground — because, believe it or not, 1 in 14 people people actually break up with their partner on Cupid’s Day, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s (partly) because they weren’t factoring in the following points.
It’s a Sweet Day. Still, It’s Just a Day.
When I was younger, I remember hearing about a local couple who had such an extravagant wedding that they had to live with the wife’s parents for almost three years just to pay it off (they are divorced now, by the way). Goodness, thousands upon thousands of dollars, just for an event that lasts for one day — and not even the entire day, at that.
Are weddings a once-in-a-lifetime event? I mean, they should be (some of y’all will catch that later). Still, does it make sense to spend money that you don’t really have on it? No. It doesn’t. Financial issues continue to be a leading cause of divorce and 56 percent of couples go into immediate debt just paying for their wedding alone. Hmph, seems to me that folks should either have a wedding that they can afford or…wait until they can actually foot the bill.
Same thing goes for Valentine’s Day, although on a smaller scale. Although I have read before that around 220,000 people get engaged on V-Day and somewhere around six million end up getting married then, unless it’s a diamond ring or a wedding ceremony, it’s my opinion that no one needs to be stressed out, breaking banks, acting like they are a character in a throwback soap opera, simply to express their love for someone else on that day.
On February 15, bills will still need to be paid. In a couple of weeks, rent/mortgages are going to be due. And besides, if the love is both solid and genuine, nothing needs to be “proven” by over-the-top gestures on one day anyway.
That said, is Valentine’s Day a sweet and sentimental day on the calendar to express love? Sure. However, a 24-hour period shouldn’t do so much financial damage that it’s hard to recover once it’s over. And you know what? Any person who pressures their partner into thinking otherwise, they are showing some bright yellow flags at best — which brings me to the next point.
PSA: How Your Partner Acts on Valentine’s Day Is Quite Telling
There’s a guy I know who was all ready to propose to his lady on Valentine’s Day a few years back. He wanted to surprise her and so, he didn’t do anything beyond say “Happy Valentine’s Day” throughout the day.
After it got dark and she didn’t see any flowers or other evidence that he was going to acknowledge the day, she basically flipped out. She told him that she felt humiliated because her other friends had a great day (which of course, they posted online), that she didn’t feel appreciated, and that he didn’t deserve her. As if that wasn’t “enough,” she then decided to go the social media route and pose their situation as a not-so-hypothetical dilemma (meaning, if you knew offline what was going on, you knew that she was talking about her man).
“He” ended up being both hurt and semi-floored that he didn’t even mention that he had a ring in tow. Then, after almost a week of her not answering his calls, he ended it. He sent her a picture of the engagement ring, told her that, clearly, he was one of the most selfish men in the world (insert sarcasm there), that he learned a lot about her and he didn’t think that he could trust her moving forward.
All because the man didn’t go hard for you on Valentine’s Day? You blew up an entire relationship over that? Not to mention — where was your gift for him? Funny how that never came up.
To be fair, if you’re dating someone who you know makes a big deal over St. Patrick’s Day let alone Valentine’s Day and you choose to ignore it, you already know that it’s gonna cut deeper than it would for other individuals.
However, all I’m saying is a lot of people show all the way out with their sense of entitlement when it comes to V-Day — and that can reveal a lot about their attitude towards the relationship, in general, how they are able to handle (potential) disappointment and how they prioritize things overall.
Bottom line, some folks end up with partners who bring nothing but headaches and drama on Valentine’s Day…and that ends up being a blessing in disguise because if one holiday can get someone totally bent out of shape, imagine how they’ll be when a REAL problem occurs. Whew, chile.
When You Love Well Every Day, Valentine’s Day…Isn’t That Big of a Deal
I grew up a biblical Sabbath observer which is Friday sunset to Saturday sunset. The Hebrew word for Sabbath is Shabbat and it means to cease from creating (Genesis 2:1-3). When you grow up taking that kind of time off, each and every week, it kind of feels like a holiday in a way (although a “holy day” would be an appropriate assessment).
In fact, for many years, my mother would get me something (like a new pair of pantyhose, a purse, or some lip gloss) as a token of the beginning of the Sabbath, every Friday, which made it even more special and celebratory. And probably, that’s why I can pretty much take or leave a holiday now. Other than my birthday, Sabbaths were/are extraordinary in several ways and so I don’t “live” for something like Christmas.
My point? When two people love each other well and consistently, Valentine’s Day is typically seen in a similar fashion.
You already speak each other’s primary love languages. You are already proactive and intentional regarding the time that you spend together. Intimacy is already and consistently prioritized. In fact, you and your bae are so into each other, so often, that if you’re not paying attention, February 14 may pass you by without you barely even noticing. And how truly awesome is that? February 13 you loved well. February 15 you will love well. February 14 is just the day that’s in between the two.
And that is why I entitled this article the way that I did. To infect something is not just about poisoning or tainting it; it’s about allowing things to influence it in such a way that those people, places, things, and/or ideas end up doing more harm than good. And y’all — if you allow the commercialism, the social media hype, the unnecessary pressures of people who you don’t even know (or who aren’t invested in your relationship in a beneficial way) INFLUENCE how you feel about Valentine’s Day, you very well could end up irritated or…alone. All because of a day. ONE DAMN DAY.
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I’ve written enough articles on Valentine’s Day before that if you think that I’m simply hating on the day, it’s only because you’re choosing to. Valentine’s Day, when it’s coming from a healthy mindset and realistic perspective, is just fine. Celebrate love and have a ball doing it! All I’m saying is 24 hours shouldn’t make or break a relationship. And sometimes a gentle reminder of this fact can end up sparing it.
Enjoy the day. Don’t stress over it, though.
Bottom line, love isn’t any different on Valentine’s Day.
Or at least…it shouldn’t be.
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Featured image by Jasenka Arbanas/Getty Images