When we talk via Zoom in late August, Lindsay, 38, has just returned from a lunch date with a friend, the type of midday social outing she’d never had time for previously. In a week, she’ll be heading to Europe for an Eat, Pray, Love trip. It’s the first time she’s had time to go to Europe in five years.
“You ask me what I have time to do? Take care of me,” she says, beaming.
In the past six years, Lindsay has made a lot of changes. After becoming the first Black woman to lead ABC’s Bachelorette dating series in 2017, she fell in love with Bryan Abasolo, the man she chose on the show, and married him. Enamored with the world of entertainment but also accustomed to the stability that being an attorney provided her, she returned to practicing law in her native Dallas, Texas, while pursuing media opportunities on the side.
For a time, Lindsay would fly herself to Connecticut to co-host ESPN’s Football Frenzy radio show. The role was perfect for the Dallas Cowboys fan and sports fanatic who majored in sports management and once dreamed of becoming an agent. In 2019, when she finally felt she’d saved enough money and made enough connections, she made the leap and left the legal profession behind, determined to bet on her entertainment dreams.
Working as an on-air correspondent for Extra was one of Lindsay’s first big roles as a full-time media personality. In this job, she interviewed celebrities such as Halle Bailey and Anthony Anderson. She also notably conducted the controversial interview with Bachelor host Chris Harrison that subsequently led to his departure from the franchise. After Harrison told Lindsay he felt people needed to have “grace” for a contestant who had attended an “Old South” party, Lindsay publicly announced her plans to distance herself from the series.
Today, she cites changes in Extra’s leadership and her responsibilities as the reason for her recent departure after three years. “I just didn’t fit within the new regime,” she reveals to xoNecole.
Lindsay is currently focusing her energy work-wise on her two podcasts with The Ringer Podcast Network, the Higher Learningshow with Van Lathan, and Morally Corrupt. Despite the extremely different subjects – Higher Learning touches on race and politics while Morally Corrupt finds Lindsay commenting on her favorite Bravo reality shows – she gushes when speaking about both, calling podcasting “the most liberating thing you can do.”
On Higher Learning, she’s challenged by her co-host, Lathan, to think in new ways. She’s regularly in conversation with prominent figures such as Tracee Ellis Ross and Billy Porter.
Lindsay, a “Bravoholic” whose favorite Real Housewives franchise is Potomac and whose favorite Housewife is Nene Leakes, is no less passionate about Morally Corrupt, even if the subject matter is much lighter. “I’ve always loved reality TV because it was such an escape from my real world. Part of me admired people who could put themselves out there in a way that I believed I never could, until I went on reality TV,” Lindsay says.
Courtesy of Rachel Lindsay
The podcast host says she never intended to find love when she went on The Bachelor, and she was surprised when she was asked to lead season 13 of The Bachelorette. Going from viewer to reality TV star quickly opened her eyes to the demands of being a public figure. After receiving initial criticism from viewers about choosing and marrying Bryan Abasolo, she realized she wanted to become more protective of certain aspects of her personal life.
“I quickly learned that we had to protect what we had, and stop trying to prove it to other people and convince people to know what we knew to be true,” she says. “I wish I could share more of my relationship. But the moment you do that, you have to continue to provide more and you have to continue to answer.”
In many ways, Lindsay benefited from being on a show like The Bachelorette, where the contestants are confined to a limited environment over a temporary amount of time. She says she doesn’t think she could ever be on a reality show where she’s expected to reveal all aspects of her life constantly. In fact, she says if she ever had pregnancy news or updates about her relationship with Abasolo, she wouldn’t make a big public announcement.
Since walking away from The Bachelor franchise, the former Bachelor Happy Hour host says she’s been approached to participate in recent seasons, specifically this year’s season with Black lead, Charity Lawson. Lindsay says she ultimately declined to participate. “I just started thinking I can have a relationship with Charity – whose number I do have and I have talked to – outside of the show. I don’t need to come on television to put that out there for other people,” she says.
Reflecting on her life today, Lindsay is trying to learn the benefits of being still. She’s not planning to do any on-air correspondent work for the time being, and she’s not planning to release another book, the followup to the collection of essays Miss Me with That or the fictional Real Love.
As her 40th birthday approaches in a couple of years, she’s been thinking a lot about the popular quote, “You are, right now, as young as you'll ever be again” from the FX drama Fleishman Is in Trouble. If she does start on a new creative project, it might delve into this notion, she says. “I think I could do something in that space about adulthood and getting older and maybe questioning things in life because I think we all do it,” she tells xoNecole.
Lindsay is not rushing the process, though. For now, she’s remembering to rest and renew.
“We'll see what comes out of this state that I'm in.”
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Featured image courtesy of Rachel Lindsay
"I mean because it's no pressure. Before, I feel like both of us are doing what we doing career-wise, and when you got so many people in the middle of it, it could be tough," he said.
After the news came out, Ashanti later hit the 2023 VMA's red carpet wearing a clutch with a picture of the couple plastered on it, and it was giving "my man, my man, my man." However, she told ETthat the photo on her clutch was taken at the 2003 VMA's 20 years ago. We love a full-circle moment.
Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images
Rumors of the couple rekindling their relationship started in December 2021 when they performed their song "Body On Me" together during Power 98.3 and 96.1's Under the Mistletoe concert. From there, they were spotted together many more times, further fueling the rumors. The couple has a long history together filled with beautiful moments that make them one of the most beloved celebrity couples in music. Here's a look back on their love:
2003: Nelly and Ashanti Meet
Photo by Evan Agostini/Getty Images
Nelly and Ashanti meet for the first time at the Grammy Awards press conference in 2003. In a 2011 episode of VH1's Behind the Music, the "Foolish" singer reflected on that moment. “The first time I met Nelly, he asked me for my autograph, but I think he was being sarcastic, and I remember writing it down on the program,” she recalled. “That picture has been in so many publications as something else, but it all started out as a joke. For the record, it took him a long time to get my number.”
Nelly and Ashanti Begin Dating
However, it wasn't long after meeting that the two reportedly began dating.
2008: Ashanti Teases Future Engagement to Nelly
The couple kept their relationship relatively private. However, Ashanti did give some insight into their future plans. In an interview with People, the Grammy award-winning artist teased a possible engagement. “Oh no. Noooo! No engagement.” she said while responding to rumors of an upcoming wedding, “But definitely in the future. Ha! Ha!”
Nelly and Ashanti Collaborate on Music
Photo by Thomas Gannam/WireImage
Nelly and Ashanti collaborated on the song "Body On Me," and the "Dilemma" rapper also starred in the singer's video for "Good Good."
2010: Nelly Explains Why He Isn't Ready for Marriage
In an interview with Rap-Up TV, Nelly revealed why he has yet to propose to Ashanti. “I don’t know, right now we’re just friends,” he said. “I’m married to my work. I’m married to getting things into a certain situation. She’s married to getting things into a certain situation right now.”
He concluded, “We enjoy each other’s company. We love it.”
2013: Nelly and Ashanti Break Up
In 2013, the couple reportedly split after a decade together.
2014: Ashanti Calls Nelly Her First Real Love
Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images
Talking to Sway in the Morning, Ashanti revealed that Nelly was her "first true love."
Nelly Begins Dating Shantel Jackson
That same year, Nelly began dating Shantel Jackson.
2015: Ashanti Said Nelly 'Betrayed' Her
Ashanti opened up about her breakup with the diamond-selling artist on The Meredith Vieira Show. “I think sometimes when people have their own insecurities, it allows them to act out of character,” she said. “I’ve been betrayed.”
She continued, “And I feel like, again, you just have to grow. You have to grow up and accept responsibility for the things that you do. I’m not a big fan of people being cowards. I think it’s really important to know yourself and understand what you want and get it. I’m in a different place right now.”
2021: Nelly and Shantel Split Up
Shantel confirmed that she and Nelly broke up while replying to a fan on Instagram. "No we're not ….. Just friends," she said after being asked if they were still together.
Nelly and Ashanti's Verzuz Hug Goes Viral
Photo by Johnny Nunez/WireImage
In September 2021, the then-former couple made headlines when Nelly walked across the stage to hug Ashanti during Fat Joe and Ja Rule's Verzuz, which had fans hopeful for a reconciliation. Later, in an interview with Angie Martinez, the Guinness World Book record holder revealed how she felt seeing him.
"It was very unexpected. I hadn't seen him in like six years or more. Spoken or seen," she said. "It was a little awkward." However, she said she wore "the perfect ex outfit."
Ashanti Denies Dating Flo Rida and Explains Why She Likes to Keep Her Love Life Private
During her December 2021 The Breakfast Club appearance, Ashanti cleared up rumors that she was dating rapper Flo Rida after photos of them vacationing together made their rounds on social media. "That's my brother. Me and Flo are super cool," she said.
She continued, "We've been going to each other's birthday parties for ten years, so I don't know why it's such a surprise now." The "Only U" artist also opened up about why she likes to keep her love life private. "I have never in my life posted a dude that I'm dealing with, ever. I mean, maybe Nelly on the fly or something like that. Like 100 years ago, but nothing like, 'oh, we're together, never." I like to keep things private.
"I like to be super low especially until things are like solid, solid," she explained. "There are at least two people super heavy in the industry, we dated and we never posted."
Nelly and Ashanti Perform Together
The two performed their hit song "Body On Me" together during Power 98.3 and 96.1's Under the Mistletoe concert in Arizona, thus sparking dating rumors.
February 2023: Nelly Addresses Ashanti Dating Rumors
Photo by John Sciulli/WireImage
Nelly opened up about his friendship with Ashanti in a February interview with Entertainment Tonight. "Time does wonders for a lot of different things, and time is one those things that allows you time to reflect on what's what, and you get a chance to see things in a different light and see your faults," he said. "So I think we both did that, and it's cool that we just friends."
April 2023: Nelly and Ashanti Reunite Again
In April, the "Body On Me" collaborators further fueled rumors of them dating again after they were spotted holding hands at the Gervonta Davis vs. Ryan Garcia fight. And in May 2023, they shared another steamy performance at the Palms Casino Resort during the singer's show with Ja Rule.
June 2023: Nelly and Ashanti Wear Matching Outfits
The following month, Nelly and Ashanti attended Pierre "P" Thomas' birthday party wearing matching outfits.
August 2023: Nelly and Ashanti Share a Video Singing Together
The couple posted a video of them singing to Usher's 1998 hit "Nice & Slow."
September 2023: Nelly and Ashanti Confirm They're Back Together
Let's hope they make the second time around count.
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