Do you remember what you did with your first real-job paycheck? I mean that check that was the answer to all your prayers. You could finally afford rent, groceries, and happy hour. Maybe you were able to put a down payment on your dream car. Maybe you bought your first house or bought that Fendi bag you'd been eyeing since childhood. (Was that just me?)
Spending that first major paycheck is both a moment of celebration and a way to acknowledge your hard work. It's a dream realized. It can also be the biggest mistake of your life. (And that's okay. Life is about making those and moving on to bigger and better from the lessons).
When I got my first nice-sized paycheck that was over $1,500 after taxes, I spent it on an overseas trip. I'd never been allowed to travel abroad in my teens and in my 20s, I spent the bulk of my paychecks on my half of the rent (Roommate life, anyone?) and coping mechanisms for burnout. (Think lots of Hennessy, four-day-a-week club nights, 7-nights-a-week eating out, a few emergency room visits, a couple of run-ins with toxic boyfriends, and impulsive shopping at Century 21, Forever 21, and H&M.)
Let's take a look at how our favorite Black women in sports, music, and entertainment spent their first big paychecks, if not just to remind ourselves that they, too, are human and have the usual feelings of power and vulnerability when receiving a large lump sum:
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Kerry Washington
The UnPrisoned star also shared with The Hollywood Reporter that her first purchase from the proceeds of one of her first major acting gigs to buy a laptop, hoarding the per diem cash she was given during her time shooting Save The Last Dance--her second movie role, ever---under a mattress.
Issa Rae
Actress, producer and entrepreneur Issa Rae told Buzzfeed Celeb that she bought a Tesla with her first big paycheck after getting a major role. She also told US Weeklythat after buying it, she got into an accident a month later and was without a car for a whole year.
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Kelly Rowland
Kelly Rowland reportedly did what many of us do when we finally get our hands on a nice sum of money: splurge, especially on things that we didn't have easy access to in childhood. She told Instyle that she bought groceries that her mom used to tell her were "too expensive" and had a party where everyone enjoyed the food and had fun. (Same, sis. Same.) She further talked about the lessons she learned from buying a 5-bedroom house after becoming a millionaire at 20.
Enjoying the fruits of her Destiny's Child labor, she recalled that the home was "too big" and that she was "too young" to buy such a home. She'd later make informed choices about how she spent her money and used credit cards.
Serena Williams
Both Serena Williams sisters have always acknowledged the valuable money lessons they learned early on from their father. When Serena got her first check, she reportedly took it straight to the bank, rolling up to the drive-through (as if it wasn't $1 million!) She also said in an interview that she wouldn't just go pick up her check and the tour directors at the time had to eventually come and give it to her. Talk about discipline!
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Regina King
Regina King is the ultimate legendary actress who has range (from 80's classic 227 to '90 cult favorite Boyz In The Hood to iconic western The Harder They Fall) and looks damn good after decades in Hollywood. She told The Hollywood Reporterthat when she got her first big paycheck, she invested in something many of us promise ourselves when we've gotten to a certain salary or status: a car.
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Psychologist Debbie Sorensen explained to CNBC why women and millennials are experiencing burnout in higher numbers. “We haven’t had time to recover from the trauma of what we’ve been through the last few years,” she said. “Women and young people, in particular, are putting an immense amount of pressure on themselves to keep going, keep working, no matter the cost.”
As women, particularly Black women, we tend to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. Other people's problems become our problems, and then we are expected to show up to work and show up for our family and friends with a smile on our faces. Whew, chile! What if we are having a bad day? How are we supposed to cope if we have to be everything to everyone? Well, here’s your sign to make time for yourself, especially on the days when you are feeling down.
Below is a list of self-care ideas for when you are having a bad day.
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Spend time in nature
Sometimes something as simple as surrounding yourself with trees, grass, and/ or water can improve your mood exponentially. The American Psychological Association’s (APA) research shows that spending time in nature can improve attention, lower stress, and reduce the risk of psychiatric disorders.
Got to a Spa
There’s nothing like going to a spa. You can relax in a sauna, get a massage, and just be. According to research, massages help release serotonin and dopamine, which are often referred to as “feel good” hormones, that will instantly perk you up and have you going about your day with a smile on your face.
Get Artsy
When was the last time you did arts and crafts? Drawing a picture, painting, or even coloring can help you discover your inner child, thus boosting your mood. Purchase an adult coloring book, or go to a paint-and-sip class by yourself, or you can make it a group activity and bring your besties.
Look your best
The old saying, “When you look good, you feel good,” didn’t just come out of thin air. There’s some truth to it. The Kentucky Counseling Center shared a link between self-care and feeling good. “Self-care regimens are extremely important not just to stabilize your day but to make you feel great. Simple things like getting a facial, taking care of your hair done, or exercising can make you confident because when you look good, you also feel good,” according to its website.
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Breathwork
There’s a reason why it is suggested that you breathe when you begin feeling overwhelmed and stressed out. Breathing brings oxygen back into your body, and WebMD reports that it can decrease the fight or flight response that happens when you are stressed.
Spend time with babies
I don’t know about you, but nothing makes me smile quicker than a baby, especially a smiling baby. If you’re the same way, then spending time with a baby or babies may help put you in a better mood, too.
Do nothing
Last but certainly not least, do nothing. There’s nothing like laying in your bed and not being forced to do anything. Stay in this moment and use this time to relax and replenish your energy.
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