

Pop culture moments in the making are always something to watch, but no one could’ve prepared themselves for what was in store for this year’s Academy Awards. In fact, I hate to bring it back up because it was so annoyingly over-discussed. Still, I’m bringing this to the table again, and ironically, because it doesn’t sit with me how quickly people used this as further proof of Jada Pinkett Smith ruining Will Smith. But, I’m calling bull! It’s one thing to turn on Will (though I don’t agree due to the murky history the Oscars have of uplifting actual predators), but to turn on Jada?
Well, that’s further evidence of my belief that this world is out to get women, especially those who stray from social norms in any shape or form. However, our society has a long-standing history of holding women accountable for the sins or wrongdoing of men.
Time and time again, history has demonstrated that women are expected to not only be pure, holier than thou beings but that when men go astray it is because the woman in his life was a stray arrow. I first learned of this concept in regards to sexuality, but it’s clear like many other aspects of life, that it has a trickle-down impact. Twitter critics came out in droves to crucify Jada because it was speculated that she gave Will a look signaling him to defend her honor, then again because of previous clips of her speaking on their relationship dynamic.
People used this as an opportunity to support their previous arguments that Jada was toxic because she as a woman should’ve willed Will to sit his ass down. They used inaccurate clickbait to have the public believe she had actually spoken against her husband, when in fact, all quotes have been from previous dialogues. While I would love to make this a Black woman issue, this is a woman issue!
This does not negate the fact that this phenomenon may take different shapes when experienced by Black women or be more complicated to navigate. In conversation with xoNecole, Psycho-Historian Shannon Hannaway notes how “blame has historically been shifted to Black women even in instances where the power dynamic in no way reflects the verbiage – even in modern times it is used to describe the events of the past.”
She further highlights Thomas Jefferson and his abusive relationship with Sally Hemings, which has never actually been stated that way in history books. To Hannaways’s point Hemmings, who was a Black slave, is often described as the dead president's “mistress” rather than “a survivor of sexual assault and abuse.”
While purity culture started out as a concept relegated to WASP (White Anglo-Saxon Protestants), I believe respectability politics played a role in Black women attempting to maintain these social constructs no matter how impossible it was due to the controlling images that continued to make a mockery of Black women’s attempts to successfully integrate amongst white women in this way (and many others).
Hannaway says, “Purity culture is very much so a WASP concept, although there are variations throughout the history of this idea, the version we know today in the United States is a direct result of the Cult of Domesticity – a movement that began between 1820 and 1860. To be pure and good was a status symbol for wealthy white women, absolute virtue was a sign of this status and women’s role in keeping the home, raising children, and acting in accordance with purity and goodness.”
“Traditional” womhanood is a farce. Because the femininity script folk speak of when they talk about feminity is a farce created to elevate white women. The purity, piety, domesticity and submissiveness. It is a script.
— Ava Anointing (@SoualiganAmazon) July 25, 2020
However, she pinpoints the tipping point and significant difference as it pertains to the racial piece of our intersectional identities being that “...at this same time slavery was still legal, and even after the Civil War, Black women experienced a shift from formal slavery to near-slavery in the homes of wealthy white women and in fact did a majority of home-keeping behind closed doors.”
Hannaway goes on to add, “White women were afforded the privilege to act in accordance with the Cult of Domesticity, whereas Black women and their families were expected and in fact still considered less than despite the end of slavery. Black women did not have the privilege of spending time with their own families, and [were] blamed for their inability to shift careers and be present in their families. Historically Black people have been treated in accordance with white colonial belief systems that commodify bodies and remove personhood, shifting moral righteousness to white people.”
This circles back to my initial point of Black women being held and expected to maintain the same standards as white women, as they are the pinnacle of purity and exemplify the behaviors that we Black women ought to mimic – yet constantly finding our best imitation to be unacceptable merely because of our Brown hues and the status attached to it.
Hannaway continues, “In the world we live in, men and women are socialized in a way that removes the blame from men and places a disproportionate amount of responsibility on women starting at an early age. Research reflects that as early as elementary school, the notion that boys are underachievers and girls are compliant and responsible begins. This is reinforced from then on every day, as children become teenagers and later adults, these roles within society become reinforced until they are locked in.”
We see it everywhere from the home to the boardroom, where Hannaway says women CEOs are held to more grave consequences than men if and when they fail. And even outside of the company, consumers are less likely to continue to allocate their money in the face of an error made by a woman CEO – further speaking to the collective socialization.
And of course, there are religious roots because aren’t there always?
“Women are even tasked with ‘changing’ men and this is a trope seen in even recent movies such as Failure to Launch, The Kissing Booth, Twilight, to name a few: of note, these are all films with a predominantly young, female audience," Hannaway adds.
I would argue that the sentiment of changing men and controlling, er, reining them in when their behavior is not in alignment with white colonial standards fall within the same vein. You see, apparently, it was more telling of Jada Pinkett Smith’s morality and virtue that she wasn’t able to predict her husband's next move and use some type of X-Men-like superpower to shift his mood for the greater good of humanity.
I am exhausted by this narrative that @jadapsmith is the reason for #Willsmith behavior. She’s not responsible for his behavior or his actions.All the stupid videos on YouTube should the taken down. Jada should sue 4 the toxic & misogynistic things being said about her.
— Ase (@MelaninKemet) April 22, 2022
When I asked Hannaway to further explain the origin of holding women accountable for the actions of men, she shared an interesting finding. “These belief systems and accepted mythologies gave men the ability to blame women for lustful thoughts by association with the paranormal. When a woman was not Christian and white, this belief was even more likely to be acted upon in accordance with the idea that people of color without a Christian God worked with the Devil, and by causing sinful thoughts were surely to blame.”
Even more eye-opening and disheartening was the reality that Hannaway spoke on:
“The oppression of women has historically been a way for men to maintain power and control. It’s worth noting, that because of this societal structure present in the church and in governments, women’s voices have largely been silenced and erased in history. Additionally, women have been the target of violence in the name of assimilation. One argument that makes the most sense, is that women are human beings with the ability to create life and are necessary to the continuity of humanity. To control women is to control life itself. In matriarchal societies, this oppression does not occur in the way it does in patriarchal societies. In patriarchal societies like modern western civilization, women are commodified and objectified.”
Needless to say, there’s so much more to be said on this matter – all of which is interesting because it holds so much truth. Though we can’t possibly get into it all in this one piece, I hope that this raises the consciousness of people everywhere who have managed to perpetuate these acts of misogyny. If change begins with us, I think it’s critical that we as a culture begin to evaluate on an individual basis the way that we interact with patriarchal scripts.
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Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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In 2025, the representation of Black mothers on the silver screen is much more commonplace than it was 10 or even five years ago. And if you could remember further back than that, they were practically non-existent. Yes, there’s still work to be done, but it’s amazing to see different portrayals of the Black matriarch and the stamp they’ve left on TV.
Speaking of leaving a stamp, this Mother’s Day, we wanted to pay homage to television’s most iconic Black moms. For many of us, these on-screen mothers were the blueprint for our own dreams of motherhood—and a reminder of what it really means to show up for your family with love, resilience, and style.
Below, find our favorite Black TV moms that “raised us” and why we’ll always ride for them.
Clair Huxtable (The Cosby Show)
Graceful, brilliant, and uncompromising, Clair was the archetype of the accomplished Black mother, shattering stereotypes as a high-powered attorney raising five kids with warmth and wit. Phylicia Rashad’s portrayal of Clair from 1984 to 1992 earned her two Primetime Emmy nominations (and fun fact: she was the first Black actress ever nominated in that category!).
Beyond her career moves and fabulous wardrobe, Clair Huxtable was that mom who listened, who read you for filth when necessary, and who loved you out loud with elegance and humor. She taught us that you could be nurturing and a boss at the same time—and you didn’t have to apologize for it.
Vivian Banks aka Aunt Viv (The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and Bel-Air)
Whether it was Janet Hubert’s sharp-tongued sophistication or Daphne Maxwell Reid’s calm, nurturing energy, Aunt Viv was—and still is—the heart and soul of the Banks family. She was the type of woman who could shut down a whole dinner party with just one raised eyebrow and make you feel wrapped in love two minutes later.
Let’s not forget: Aunt Viv took Will into her home like he was her own, showing us what unconditional love and family really look like. And can we talk about her iconic dance moves during that one unforgettable audition scene? Legendary!
In Bel-Air, actress Cassandra Freeman continues Aunt Viv’s legacy, bringing her own strength, softness, and modern-day brilliance to the role.
Rainbow Johnson (Black-ish)
Played by Tracee Ellis Ross, Bow navigates modern motherhood with heart, humor, and a strong sense of cultural pride while balancing a medical career and a quirky family.
Bow's hair alone could have its own spin-off show—from box braids to silk presses to natural curls, every style, crafted by department head Araxi Lindsey (who is also Ross’ personal stylist), was a love letter to Black hair’s versatility.
As a biracial woman raising Black children, Bow also gave voice to the complexities of identity in a way that felt authentic and overdue. She wasn’t perfect, and that’s what made her so real and so beloved.
Dr. Miranda Bailey (Grey’s Anatomy)
There’s tough love, and then there’s Dr. Bailey love. Portrayed by Chandra Wilson, Miranda Bailey has long been the no-nonsense moral compass of Grey Sloan Memorial. But her journey as a mother, especially raising a Black son in today’s America, brought even deeper layers to her character.
She’s not just a mom biologically; she's a mentor, protector, and guiding light for countless young doctors who came through those hospital doors. Bailey showed us that nurturing leadership isn't soft, it’s one of the bravest things you can do. She’s a true Grey’s Anatomy legend and has been right alongside Meredith Grey throughout all 20 seasons of the show.
Nikki Parker (The Parkers)
Where do we even begin with Nikki Parker? Played to hilarious perfection by Mo’Nique, Nikki was a bold, extra, and fiercely loving single mom who decided to go back to college so she could better herself and stay close to her daughter, Kim. (Bestie energy, but make it maternal.)
Their mother-daughter bond was pure magic—equal parts hilarious, heartwarming, and relatable. Nikki taught us that it’s never too late to chase your dreams, especially when the people you love are counting on you.
Rochelle Rock (Everybody Hates Chris)
As the matriarch of a working-class Brooklyn family, Rochelle, played by the forever-legendary Tichina Arnold, was tough, protective, and endlessly quotable. Her “I don’t need this, my man has two jobs” became an anthem for fed-up moms everywhere.
Inspired by Chris Rock’s own mother, Rochelle was a love letter to the fierce, funny, over-it Black moms who held it down with limited resources and unlimited love. She was a reminder that sometimes, love looks like keeping the lights on and dragging you by the ear when you got out of line.
Tasha Mack (The Game)
Wendy Raquel Robinson’s portrayal of Tasha Mack gave us one of TV’s most unapologetic portrayals of a working Black mom. Loud, loyal, and unapologetically herself, Tasha was both a top-tier sports manager and a ride-or-die mom to her son, Malik.
Their bond was messy, complicated, and so real. It showed the challenges of balancing ambition with motherhood, especially when you’re trying to break barriers in a male-dominated industry. Tasha raised Malik with tough love, but at the end of the day, it was always clear: nobody had his back like his mama.
Trudy Proud (The Proud Family)
Trudy Proud, voiced by Paula Jai Parker, was that mom who balanced her career as a veterinarian, Oscar’s chaotic get-rich-quick schemes, and being a mom of three with a whole lot of love (and side-eye when necessary).
With a perfect blend of patience, real talk, and "don't play with me" energy, Trudy raised Penny and her siblings with love, culture, and plenty of teachable moments. And let's not forget: when The Proud Family first dropped in 2001, it was one of the few animated shows centered on a Black family, giving an entire generation the representation we deserved—colorful, complicated, and full of heart.
Dee Mitchell aka Aunt Dee (Moesha)
Dee Mitchell (affectionately known as Aunt Dee) was that steady, loving force who knew how to keep it real without ever raising her voice. Played by Sheryl Lee Ralph, Dee stepped into the Mitchell household after marrying Moesha’s father and brought a much-needed dose of patience, structure, and heart to the family.
Navigating the complexities of blending a family, especially with a headstrong teenager like Moesha, was no small feat. She showed us that bonus moms are real moms too, and that sometimes, love is about showing up even when it’s not easy.
Honorable Mention: Barbara Howard (Abbott Elementary)
Sheryl Lee Ralph has a knack for this TV moms stuff, and we couldn’t wrap this list without tipping our hat to another maternal role she’s played: thee Barbara Howard. While Barb is technically a mom, the show focuses on her role as a teacher at Abbott. But let’s be real, she's a full-on work mom to every kid (and adult—we’re talking to you, Janine) who crosses her path.
With wisdom, warmth, and a healthy dose of “baby, please,” Barbara shows up every day modeling excellence and patience. A true matriarch in the halls of Abbott Elementary and in our hearts.
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