Marian Wright Edelman hit the nail on the head when she said "you can't be what you can't see." I love this quote because it highlights the importance of representation across all career paths, industries, and spaces; it highlights the need for events like Blavity's AfroTech Executive conference. As the name suggests, AfroTech Executive brings together Black startup owners, venture capitalists, and tech moguls with the goal of expanding Black representation in tech leadership. Created from the larger AfroTech conference, AfroTech Executive tailors each session to leaders at tech companies, tech startups, and media moguls - we LOVE to see it!
Though the tech space is as snooze as it gets for some, AfroTech is anything but a stuffy tech conference. The vibe was set from the moment I entered the outdoor deck of The Line Hotel and was greeted by a tray of mimosas and friendly faces. There was a consistent excitement, camaraderie, and an overwhelming sense of pride throughout the day.
Randy Shropshire/Getty Images for Blavity Inc/AfroTech
Stay tuned if you're looking to be inspired by leading Black executives like Michele Ghee, the CEO of Ebony and Jet, and Detavio Samuels, the CEO of REVOLT Media.
“Partnership is great, but ownership is better.” - Michele Ghee, CEO of 'Ebony' and 'Jet'
Randy Shropshire/Getty Images for Blavity Inc/AfroTech
Michele Ghee hopped on the stage last Saturday and decided to preach. It's been a minute since I've joined an in-person sermon and my soul welcomed every second of it. Throughout the panel, Michele emphasized the importance of ownership. Oftentimes, we find ourselves so excited to be in the room that the bar is on the floor (yep, I'm talking to myself too).
When asked what advice she would give to empower creators and entrepreneurs to request ownership in business deals, Michele noted:
"Knowledge is critical. We have to know our worth. We are worthy of investment. We have to first know who we are, what we believe in, and what we offer. That will allow us to attract others that can help us on our journey to true ownership. That allows us an opportunity to make critical decisions about growth. That allows us to have a greater stake in revenue growth and reinvestment in our companies. We can walk in fear or faith. I chose educated faith!"
Michele's words are a reminder to elevate the bar beyond the limits we set for ourselves. Pushing past partnership to ownership is attainable, but we won't know unless we strive for it.
“People don’t believe us [Black women] the first time. Keep being right.” - Sherrell Dorsey, Publisher, and CEO of The Plug
Randy Shropshire/Getty Images for Blavity Inc/AfroTech
One of my favorite conversations of the day was chatting with Sherrell Dorsey, the CEO of The Plug - a subscription-based digital news platform covering Black innovation. Have you ever met someone with a commanding presence that spoke genuinely, passionately, and with the utmost grace - that's Sherrell. When asked about hurdles she feels are unique to Black women in tech, Sherrell mentioned, "People don't believe us the first time."
Oftentimes, it takes validation or sponsorship from white counterparts for Black women to be heard. If you're wondering how to combat this, Sherrell's answer is simple: "Keep being right."
“The future of media is the influencer.” - Detavio Samuels, CEO of REVOLT Media
Randy Shropshire/Getty Images for Blavity Inc/AfroTech
Detavio Samuels joined REVOLT Media in March 2021 hoping to make REVOLT the world's largest Black-owned media empire - an incredible goal. During the panel about the evolving topics surrounding Black media advertising, Detavio leaned heavily into the need for Black people to tell Black stories. Since Detavio joined REVOLT Media, he's helped pivot their content development strategy guided by the belief that the future of media is held by influencers. He encouraged influencers to call on the panelists with ideas knowing that the top media platforms in the world right now all belong to celebs and influencers. When asked about the value influencers and creators can bring to a big brand like REVOLT, Detavio mentioned:
"At REVOLT, the value they bring is themselves. Their unique lens. Their unique perspective. Their unique story. We just want to enable them to do it at the highest level possible."
Yes, the speakers dropped gems but my conversations with the AfroTech attendees truly kept me intrigued. From chatting with Kameale Terry and Evette Ellis, the co-founders of ChargerHelp! who are helping eliminate faulty EV charging stations across the nation and creating jobs in the process, to my conversations with Eric Coly, the owner of Ayana Therapy, a service that takes gender, race, and intersectional identities into account to address establish compatible relationships between therapists and the clients they serve.
Hearing the passion, the creativity, and the guts to go after millions of dollars in funding without a roadmap to follow - inspiring just doesn't cover it.
Featured image by Randy Shropshire/Getty Images for Blavity Inc/AfroTech
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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