Marian Wright Edelman hit the nail on the head when she said "you can't be what you can't see." I love this quote because it highlights the importance of representation across all career paths, industries, and spaces; it highlights the need for events like Blavity's AfroTech Executive conference. As the name suggests, AfroTech Executive brings together Black startup owners, venture capitalists, and tech moguls with the goal of expanding Black representation in tech leadership. Created from the larger AfroTech conference, AfroTech Executive tailors each session to leaders at tech companies, tech startups, and media moguls - we LOVE to see it!
Though the tech space is as snooze as it gets for some, AfroTech is anything but a stuffy tech conference. The vibe was set from the moment I entered the outdoor deck of The Line Hotel and was greeted by a tray of mimosas and friendly faces. There was a consistent excitement, camaraderie, and an overwhelming sense of pride throughout the day.
Randy Shropshire/Getty Images for Blavity Inc/AfroTech
Stay tuned if you're looking to be inspired by leading Black executives like Michele Ghee, the CEO of Ebony and Jet, and Detavio Samuels, the CEO of REVOLT Media.
“Partnership is great, but ownership is better.” - Michele Ghee, CEO of 'Ebony' and 'Jet'
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Michele Ghee hopped on the stage last Saturday and decided to preach. It's been a minute since I've joined an in-person sermon and my soul welcomed every second of it. Throughout the panel, Michele emphasized the importance of ownership. Oftentimes, we find ourselves so excited to be in the room that the bar is on the floor (yep, I'm talking to myself too).
When asked what advice she would give to empower creators and entrepreneurs to request ownership in business deals, Michele noted:
"Knowledge is critical. We have to know our worth. We are worthy of investment. We have to first know who we are, what we believe in, and what we offer. That will allow us to attract others that can help us on our journey to true ownership. That allows us an opportunity to make critical decisions about growth. That allows us to have a greater stake in revenue growth and reinvestment in our companies. We can walk in fear or faith. I chose educated faith!"
Michele's words are a reminder to elevate the bar beyond the limits we set for ourselves. Pushing past partnership to ownership is attainable, but we won't know unless we strive for it.
“People don’t believe us [Black women] the first time. Keep being right.” - Sherrell Dorsey, Publisher, and CEO of The Plug
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One of my favorite conversations of the day was chatting with Sherrell Dorsey, the CEO of The Plug - a subscription-based digital news platform covering Black innovation. Have you ever met someone with a commanding presence that spoke genuinely, passionately, and with the utmost grace - that's Sherrell. When asked about hurdles she feels are unique to Black women in tech, Sherrell mentioned, "People don't believe us the first time."
Oftentimes, it takes validation or sponsorship from white counterparts for Black women to be heard. If you're wondering how to combat this, Sherrell's answer is simple: "Keep being right."
“The future of media is the influencer.” - Detavio Samuels, CEO of REVOLT Media
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Detavio Samuels joined REVOLT Media in March 2021 hoping to make REVOLT the world's largest Black-owned media empire - an incredible goal. During the panel about the evolving topics surrounding Black media advertising, Detavio leaned heavily into the need for Black people to tell Black stories. Since Detavio joined REVOLT Media, he's helped pivot their content development strategy guided by the belief that the future of media is held by influencers. He encouraged influencers to call on the panelists with ideas knowing that the top media platforms in the world right now all belong to celebs and influencers. When asked about the value influencers and creators can bring to a big brand like REVOLT, Detavio mentioned:
"At REVOLT, the value they bring is themselves. Their unique lens. Their unique perspective. Their unique story. We just want to enable them to do it at the highest level possible."
Yes, the speakers dropped gems but my conversations with the AfroTech attendees truly kept me intrigued. From chatting with Kameale Terry and Evette Ellis, the co-founders of ChargerHelp! who are helping eliminate faulty EV charging stations across the nation and creating jobs in the process, to my conversations with Eric Coly, the owner of Ayana Therapy, a service that takes gender, race, and intersectional identities into account to address establish compatible relationships between therapists and the clients they serve.
Hearing the passion, the creativity, and the guts to go after millions of dollars in funding without a roadmap to follow - inspiring just doesn't cover it.
Featured image by Randy Shropshire/Getty Images for Blavity Inc/AfroTech
In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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When I came across a way to maximize the pleasure I receive from cunnilingus (already), I had no choice but to tap in. Who knew the key to taking oral sex to new heights was giving it a sideways twist? For those of you who might also be interested in ways to spice up the way you do oral, experience faster and stronger orgasms, or simply want to indulge in something new with your partner, the Kivin Method could definitely be the oral sex technique for you, too.
Keep reading to learn about the method that is sure to have you writhing in ecstasy in no time at all.
What Is The Kivin Method?
For the uninitiated, the Kivin Method is an oral sex technique that focuses on stimulating the clitoris from a different angle. Dubbed “sideways oral” by some, this method involves the action of giving head from a side-to-side movement as opposed to the up-and-down motion that people typically perform when giving head. (If you need a visual, this illustration is helpful.)
The difference in approach as you’re receiving head can be a game-changer in how you receive pleasure. Not only does the giving partner have access to the clitoris, but they can also access more easily the vulva and the labia, which are objectively a bigger focus in this version of cunnilingus. More access means wider coverage, and that, plus the new sensation of oral from a different angle, can heighten the way you experience oral sex that much more.
Where more pleasure flows, intense orgasms are sure to follow.
Getty Images
How To Do The Kivin Method
If you want to know how to do the Kivin Method, it’s actually pretty straightforward. The receiver lays on their back while the giver positions themselves perpendicular to the receiver. Their head will be facing the vulva, but instead of vertical, their face will be horizontal to the vulva.
From there, the giver can get to business, ensuring that they keep their head perpendicular to the receiver’s vulva while working on their craft. Because this technique can be more intense for some receivers, start slowly by stroking the vulva and clitoris sideways with the tongue, and allow sensations and communication from the receiver to be a guide of what you need more or less of with the Kivin Method.
Ultimately, the Kivin Method allows experimentation and unlocking what pressure, rhythm, and tricks work best for the giver and the receiver. Try implementing a finger or two, or adding a sex toy to the mix to intensify the act even further.
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Featured image by Delmaine Donson/Getty Images
