

Pop culture moments in the making are always something to watch, but no one could’ve prepared themselves for what was in store for this year’s Academy Awards. In fact, I hate to bring it back up because it was so annoyingly over-discussed. Still, I’m bringing this to the table again, and ironically, because it doesn’t sit with me how quickly people used this as further proof of Jada Pinkett Smith ruining Will Smith. But, I’m calling bull! It’s one thing to turn on Will (though I don’t agree due to the murky history the Oscars have of uplifting actual predators), but to turn on Jada?
Well, that’s further evidence of my belief that this world is out to get women, especially those who stray from social norms in any shape or form. However, our society has a long-standing history of holding women accountable for the sins or wrongdoing of men.
Time and time again, history has demonstrated that women are expected to not only be pure, holier than thou beings but that when men go astray it is because the woman in his life was a stray arrow. I first learned of this concept in regards to sexuality, but it’s clear like many other aspects of life, that it has a trickle-down impact. Twitter critics came out in droves to crucify Jada because it was speculated that she gave Will a look signaling him to defend her honor, then again because of previous clips of her speaking on their relationship dynamic.
People used this as an opportunity to support their previous arguments that Jada was toxic because she as a woman should’ve willed Will to sit his ass down. They used inaccurate clickbait to have the public believe she had actually spoken against her husband, when in fact, all quotes have been from previous dialogues. While I would love to make this a Black woman issue, this is a woman issue!
This does not negate the fact that this phenomenon may take different shapes when experienced by Black women or be more complicated to navigate. In conversation with xoNecole, Psycho-Historian Shannon Hannaway notes how “blame has historically been shifted to Black women even in instances where the power dynamic in no way reflects the verbiage – even in modern times it is used to describe the events of the past.”
She further highlights Thomas Jefferson and his abusive relationship with Sally Hemings, which has never actually been stated that way in history books. To Hannaways’s point Hemmings, who was a Black slave, is often described as the dead president's “mistress” rather than “a survivor of sexual assault and abuse.”
While purity culture started out as a concept relegated to WASP (White Anglo-Saxon Protestants), I believe respectability politics played a role in Black women attempting to maintain these social constructs no matter how impossible it was due to the controlling images that continued to make a mockery of Black women’s attempts to successfully integrate amongst white women in this way (and many others).
Hannaway says, “Purity culture is very much so a WASP concept, although there are variations throughout the history of this idea, the version we know today in the United States is a direct result of the Cult of Domesticity – a movement that began between 1820 and 1860. To be pure and good was a status symbol for wealthy white women, absolute virtue was a sign of this status and women’s role in keeping the home, raising children, and acting in accordance with purity and goodness.”
“Traditional” womhanood is a farce. Because the femininity script folk speak of when they talk about feminity is a farce created to elevate white women. The purity, piety, domesticity and submissiveness. It is a script.
— Ava Anointing (@SoualiganAmazon) July 25, 2020
However, she pinpoints the tipping point and significant difference as it pertains to the racial piece of our intersectional identities being that “...at this same time slavery was still legal, and even after the Civil War, Black women experienced a shift from formal slavery to near-slavery in the homes of wealthy white women and in fact did a majority of home-keeping behind closed doors.”
Hannaway goes on to add, “White women were afforded the privilege to act in accordance with the Cult of Domesticity, whereas Black women and their families were expected and in fact still considered less than despite the end of slavery. Black women did not have the privilege of spending time with their own families, and [were] blamed for their inability to shift careers and be present in their families. Historically Black people have been treated in accordance with white colonial belief systems that commodify bodies and remove personhood, shifting moral righteousness to white people.”
This circles back to my initial point of Black women being held and expected to maintain the same standards as white women, as they are the pinnacle of purity and exemplify the behaviors that we Black women ought to mimic – yet constantly finding our best imitation to be unacceptable merely because of our Brown hues and the status attached to it.
Hannaway continues, “In the world we live in, men and women are socialized in a way that removes the blame from men and places a disproportionate amount of responsibility on women starting at an early age. Research reflects that as early as elementary school, the notion that boys are underachievers and girls are compliant and responsible begins. This is reinforced from then on every day, as children become teenagers and later adults, these roles within society become reinforced until they are locked in.”
We see it everywhere from the home to the boardroom, where Hannaway says women CEOs are held to more grave consequences than men if and when they fail. And even outside of the company, consumers are less likely to continue to allocate their money in the face of an error made by a woman CEO – further speaking to the collective socialization.
And of course, there are religious roots because aren’t there always?
“Women are even tasked with ‘changing’ men and this is a trope seen in even recent movies such as Failure to Launch, The Kissing Booth, Twilight, to name a few: of note, these are all films with a predominantly young, female audience," Hannaway adds.
I would argue that the sentiment of changing men and controlling, er, reining them in when their behavior is not in alignment with white colonial standards fall within the same vein. You see, apparently, it was more telling of Jada Pinkett Smith’s morality and virtue that she wasn’t able to predict her husband's next move and use some type of X-Men-like superpower to shift his mood for the greater good of humanity.
I am exhausted by this narrative that @jadapsmith is the reason for #Willsmith behavior. She’s not responsible for his behavior or his actions.All the stupid videos on YouTube should the taken down. Jada should sue 4 the toxic & misogynistic things being said about her.
— Ase (@MelaninKemet) April 22, 2022
When I asked Hannaway to further explain the origin of holding women accountable for the actions of men, she shared an interesting finding. “These belief systems and accepted mythologies gave men the ability to blame women for lustful thoughts by association with the paranormal. When a woman was not Christian and white, this belief was even more likely to be acted upon in accordance with the idea that people of color without a Christian God worked with the Devil, and by causing sinful thoughts were surely to blame.”
Even more eye-opening and disheartening was the reality that Hannaway spoke on:
“The oppression of women has historically been a way for men to maintain power and control. It’s worth noting, that because of this societal structure present in the church and in governments, women’s voices have largely been silenced and erased in history. Additionally, women have been the target of violence in the name of assimilation. One argument that makes the most sense, is that women are human beings with the ability to create life and are necessary to the continuity of humanity. To control women is to control life itself. In matriarchal societies, this oppression does not occur in the way it does in patriarchal societies. In patriarchal societies like modern western civilization, women are commodified and objectified.”
Needless to say, there’s so much more to be said on this matter – all of which is interesting because it holds so much truth. Though we can’t possibly get into it all in this one piece, I hope that this raises the consciousness of people everywhere who have managed to perpetuate these acts of misogyny. If change begins with us, I think it’s critical that we as a culture begin to evaluate on an individual basis the way that we interact with patriarchal scripts.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Getty Images
Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
Your Guide To Letting Go Of What No Longer Serves You Based On Astrology
Letting go is a gift we are given and a strength that we find throughout our lives. There are times when we want to grab ahold of what we are experiencing and sensing, and times when we need to let go of something that was once everything to us or what we wanted for ourselves. The moment you conclude that you need to let something go in your life is the moment that your brain fights to make that happen for you.
In Astrology, there is an area of your birth chart that is designed for you to understand where you will be letting go a lot in this lifetime, and exactly how to do so. We dive through the birth chart as we seek a deeper understanding of ourselves and let go of what no longer serves us, and there are tools available to help us do so. If you don't know where your South Node is in your birth chart, you can use a free calculator like this one here.
What Does Your South Node Represent in Astrology?
When it comes to what we are destined to let go of or move away from in this lifetime, we look to the South Node. The South Node is the area of your birth chart that has to do with your past lives, karma, lessons, old habits and traits, gifts, and energy you are moving away from in this lifetime.
Your South Node is opposite your North Node, which is your destiny and the energy you want to move towards.
We can learn a lot from our South Node and it’s an area of our life where we tend to gain the most wisdom. By understanding why some patterns in your life tend to play out in the same ways, you can be more conscious of the choices you make in the now and let go of who and what doesn’t serve you in the process.
South Node Insights: Letting Go
The South Node is our natural gifts and talents, but also where we don’t need to focus so much of our energy on, taking us away from where we need to be developing, which is the North Node. So when you are looking to let go of something, gain a new perspective, or feel more trusting in what you are doing right now, you can examine your South Node.
We learn from our South Node by not making the same mistakes over again, letting go of what needs to be let go of, and understanding what we need in order to create space for our new beginning.
Read below for your South Node on how to let go of what no longer serves you.
Aries South Node: Letting Go of Independence for Connection
You are used to being independent and figuring things out on your own. In this lifetime, however, you are being asked to lean on others for support when you need it. You are working on letting go of the ego and focusing more on the heart. By extending your compassion for others, you discover a part of yourself that leads you toward empowerment and allows you to let go of a false sense of safety.
You are meant to experience harmonious, fortunate, and compatible love in this lifetime, and you will do so by opening your heart to others and letting go of people who don’t support you or whom you can’t count on.
Taurus South Node: Releasing Overdependence and Superficiality
With your South Node in Taurus, you are letting go of the need to acquire by focusing on the depth and intention of what you are obtaining. Your relationships tend to have a lot to do with your financial world, and these things can get twisted and distorted if you are not being careful.
In this lifetime, you are working on letting go of what doesn’t serve you by following your heart and your intuition more and focusing more on the feeling you want for yourself rather than the things themselves. You are also working on letting go of overdependence or superficiality in relationships, by connecting with the people whom you have a deep and spiritual bond with.
Gemini South Node: Finding Freedom in Authenticity
For you, letting go means following your freedom. You are meant to do things your own way in this lifetime, and the less you can focus on how you are going to be perceived, the more you can live the life of your dreams. With a South Node in Gemini, you are moving away from the commotion of life. What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is traveling, getting out of your comfort zone, and being in new environments.
In past lives, you may have given too much of your focus on your social successes and business pursuits, and in this lifetime, you are meant to focus on the bigger picture. What helps you let go is understanding that once you do, better is available to you.
Cancer South Node: Trusting Yourself Beyond Emotional Impulses
With a South Node in Cancer, you are learning to trust yourself and your logic more than your emotional world in this lifetime. By letting go of feeling like you have to be the one to nurture and support everyone and allowing people to do that for you, you lead your destiny.
With your South Node in Cancer, you are letting go of emotional impulsiveness or making decisions irrationally before you have thought about them.
In past lives, you were led by your emotional world, and in this lifetime, you are meant to think more about your long-term goals and intentions. What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is knowing that you are more than what you can give to others.
Leo South Node: Prioritizing Community Over Recognition
In this lifetime, you are working on letting go of the need to be seen and recognized and focus more on your need for community and soul companionship. You are moving away from the “I” and moving closer to the “We.” What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is giving your focus to humanity, the progress you want to make in this lifetime, and who you want to make it with.
You are learning how to work with others and let go of the need to figure everything out yourself. The more you connect with the people who make you want to team up and form a relationship, rather than the people who make you want to be alone, the better for you.
Virgo South Node: Embracing Compassion Over Perfection
In this lifetime, you are letting go of the need to do everything yourself and to have everything all together. You can let go of what no longer serves you by thinking more with your heart than you do with your mind and by trusting this gift of yours. By focusing more on your spirituality, emotional connections, and creativity, you let go of a timid side of you that can disrupt your relationships or the bonds you make.
In past lifetimes, you were focused on perfection. In this lifetime, you are meant to focus on compassion. By surrendering more to the flow of things, you can let go of what no longer serves you while remaining open for what does.
Libra South Node: Rediscovering Your Independence
With your South Node in Libra, you are meant to experience the gifts of independence, freedom, and inner clarity in this lifetime. In the past, you may have been more dependent on the people around you and made a lot of your focus on love. However, in this lifetime, you are being reminded to not lose your identity in others. You can let go of what no longer serves you by only moving towards the things that feel authentic to you.
You are meant to feel confident, inspired, and free in your relationships, and if you don’t feel this way, then that is a sign you are around energy that doesn’t serve you. You are meant to do things your own way in this lifetime.
Scorpio South Node: Letting Go of Struggles and Embracing Ease
With your South Node in Scorpio, you have lived many lives and have experienced a lot emotionally. In this lifetime, you are learning how to trust the process more and to understand that not everything has to be difficult or trying for you. You can experience great things with ease, and you’ll know you are in the right place when things are just falling into your lap.
What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is focusing more on the things and people who make you feel safe, stable, and comfortable. Instead of always seeking the rush or the thrill, bring your attention more towards the things that ground you.
Sagittarius South Node: Building Connection Through Learning
Your South Node in Sagittarius urges you towards connection with your community and your immediate environment. In this lifetime, you are letting go of the need to be everywhere at once, rather than with the people who matter most to you. You are moving away from knowing everything and into learning everything.
By looking at life as a place where you will learn, grow, and connect, you can let go of the things that stretch you too thin or don’t serve your heart.
What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is expressing yourself more, meeting new people, and spending time on a cause or creative project that inspires you.
Capricorn South Node: Choosing Home and Foundations Over Status
In this lifetime, you are meant to put more value and effort into your personal life, home, family, and foundations in life. In past lifetimes, a lot of your focus was on your reputation, achievements, and successes, and in this lifetime, you are meant to bring your energy more to the home base, family, and stability in life.
You will know if something is right for you if you want it because it makes you feel safe and nurtured, rather than just something that looks pleasing to the eye. What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is by focusing more on your personal life rather than your public, and what you truly see for yourself here.
Aquarius South Node: Shining in Your Individuality
With an Aquarius South Node, you are meant to shine, be seen, and express yourself in this lifetime. You are letting go of the lone wolf energy you are used to, and working on taking up space. You are able to let go of what no longer serves you by being confident in yourself and the decisions you are making.
If someone doesn’t make you feel like the best thing in the entire world, then they aren’t right for you. In past lifetimes, you gave a lot of your energy to your community and the people around you, and in this lifetime, you are meant to focus on yourself and your path more. It’s all about doing what makes you feel good and trusting that you deserve to.
Pisces South Node: Honoring Logic While Embracing Intuition
Your lesson in this lifetime is that your mind is your gift. In past lives, you were very intuitive, psychic, and spiritual, and in this lifetime, you are learning to trust and honor the logical part of yourself more. You may tend to put your all into your relationships and not get the same energy back, and you are working on taking care of yourself first before you can give to another.
What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is trusting your body and the signals it gives you when you are around certain people or energy that doesn’t serve. Get organized, figure out your needs, boundaries, and wants, and get clear on who you are and what you want for yourself.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Guido Mieth/Getty Images
7 Sex Resolutions Every Single Woman Should Make For The Rest Of This Year
Where does the damn time go? It literally seems like just yesterday, that “Did We Just Become Best Friends?” Ulta commercial was playing incessantly on the television and now, we’re “looking over the fence” at Valentine’s Day. Goodness.
Anyway, if you took out some time to check out “Resolve To Evolve In 2025. That's It.” which was published earlier this month, you already know what kind of headspace I’m encouraging us all to be on until holiday commercials come back on the tube at the end of this year.
Evolving? It’s all about growing gradually — and if you happen to be a single woman who is also sexually active (or planning to be), I wanted to share some ways that you can “resolve to evolve” in that department from now through another ball dropping as well.
So, before you decide to, as the artist Mya once said/sang it, give the best of you to someone else, please read the seven promises that I think you should make to yourself about your own sex life — so that this year can be one that is filled with as much pleasure and as little regret as possible.
1. I Will Not RELY on Anyone Else to Protect My Physical Health and Well-Being
He got me pregnant. She trapped me. I honestly can’t believe how much I hear both of these things on social media, almost on a daily basis.
And while there is such an evil thing as stealthing (when a man lies about using a condom) and yes, there are also some women who say they are on birth control when they aren’t (and I loathe that lie as well), when you factor in that only one-third of men and one-fourth of women use condoms at all (and even that isn’t consistently — SMDH), those of us with maturity and common sense know that more times than not, folks would rather blame someone else for unprepared consequences of their sex-related actions than take some real personal accountability…and nothing about that is wise, smart or good. Please don’t be one of those individuals.
If you’re not already in this mindset, make 2025 the year when you commit to getting tested twice a year, that you take charge of your own body when it comes to birth control (instead of relying on the declarations of another person) and that you will set firm guidelines and boundaries, BEFOREHAND, of what you expect from your partners when it comes to their own sexual health.
Because sis, even if you’re into casual sex, if you’re not proactive about protecting yourself, sometimes the outcome of copulation is anything BUT…casual. In fact, even as we speak, STIs/STDs, globally, are on the rise.
2. I Will Clearly Convey My Intentions (and Boundaries) on the Front End
Let’s circle back on the boundaries thing for a moment. Boundaries are limits, right? Recently, I was talking to a client, who is currently sleeping with more than one person, about how important it is to communicate with each individual about what her boundaries are: this includes intentions, expectations, and deal-breakers (check out “These Are The Deal-Breakers You Shouldn't Hesitate To Have In The Bedroom”). And y’all, because sex can very easily (and oftentimes does) change the dynamic of a relationship, it is a good idea to talk about all of these things before the act happens — not after.
Before, you tend to be more logical. Before, you also tend to be more practical. Before, there is less of a chance that you will try and see things through rose-colored glasses (if the sex was good, I mean).Case in point. The client who I was just referring to? When I once before advised that she have this very conversation with a particular guy before coitus (because she said that she thought she saw a few red flags), she didn’t.
After everything went down, because he gave her more orgasms than she had experienced in a hot minute, here came all of the “rationalizations” about why he isn’t the best communicator and seems to only want to come to her place to “get up.” SMDH. When I asked her why she has a tendency to operate in this fashion, her exact words were, “I don’t want to put too much pressure on guys before we get involved.” Girl? GIRL.
If you’re not comfortable enough telling a man what your standards and requirements are, you shouldn’t be comfortable letting them enter into your being. A lot of people end up with their feelings super hurt and their health in a lot of jeopardy and it’s all because they didn’t make this vow to themselves. This year, please don’t be one of them.
3. I Will Not Act Like My Needs Are Being Met When They Aren’t
If when you read this one, the first thing that came to your mind is faking orgasms, that’s fair because it’s definitely one of the things that I am referring to (check out “Why You Should Stop Faking Orgasms ASAP,” “Men Fake Orgasms (And 14 Other Semi-Random Things About Them In Bed)” and “1 In 4 Men And Women Are Faking It—Science Explains How To Change That”). I don’t care how many articles and podcast talking points try and justifying doing it — faking is a form of deception, and it makes absolutely no sense to pretend that you are experiencing the peak points of pleasure during sex when you aren’t.
One way or another, it will lead to some level of resentment on your end and a sense of delusional reality when it comes to your partner. I’ve seen it transpire too much to back down on that.
However, this promise speaks to satisfaction across the board. For instance, I used to date a guy who was a horrible kisser. Just ugh. Unfortunately, I sat up and endured that mess for…a long time because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Then, when I did come up with what I thought was a more “tender” way of rectifying the situation, he got super sensitive: “You’ve been happy with it all of this time. Something else must be going on.” And y’all, that was actually a fair response on his part because if I had been acting like things were good when they weren’t — why am I just now bringing it up?
At the end of the day, needs are things that are deemed to be necessary or essential. When it comes to sex/sexual activity, please don’t be out here acting like “it’s all good” when it actually isn’t. If there is something that is necessary or essential for you to feel (holistically) good about the sex that you are having — SAY IT. It’s silly and counterproductive not to.
4. I Will Become a Student of My Own Sexuality
If you Google what sexuality is, AI is going to probably say something like this: “Sexuality is a person's sexual, emotional, and physical feelings and attractions towards others.” That’s fair. However, when I looked up sexuality on Dictionary’s site, I liked that the first definition was one’s “sexual character” because character is about moral and ethical values. It’s also traits that help to define you and your reputation. Character also plays a role in what makes you…YOU.
And since your sexual being is a very relevant and important part of who you are, then yes, you should make the time to figure out what your own sexuality is all about. Know what else? Since you’re ever-growing and transforming, you’ve got to be willing to accept that, in some ways, your sexuality is as well.
That’s why I say that it is so important to commit to being a student of your own sexuality. When it comes to the feelings that you have about sex, where did they come from? When it comes to what attracts you to certain people, where did that begin? How do you emotionally feel about sex and the people you choose to have sex with? What is your reputation when it comes to sex — how do you know? What are some distinct character traits that you would use to define your sexuality? How has your relationship with sex changed over the years?
Albert Einstein once said, “Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death” and if you think this doesn’t apply to sex, you couldn’t be more wrong. Recent reports reveal that people over 55 still have sex at least once a week and 1 in 6 adults over 70 do as well which means that you’ve got many more years to learn about yourself as far as sex is concerned. Please be open to that.
Trust me, you are doing yourself a huge disservice by not making room to learn, shift, and transform when it comes to sex. So, this year, get into some sex journaling in this department (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”). The more that you discover and document about your sexuality, the easier it will be to accept yourself and also articulate who you are, when it comes to this area and aspect of your life, to others.
5. I Will Not Mistake How Sex Makes Me Feel for What the Relationship Actually Is
The reason why I’ve penned articles for the platform like, “14 Lessons I've Learned From 14 Sex Partners,” “What If The Sex Is Great? But The Relationship Sucks.” and “Don't Mistake A Great Sex Partner For A Great Life Partner” is because two things that show up, chemically, during sex (especially orgasm-filled sex) is dopamine and oxytocin. Dopamine helps to make you feel good while oxytocin bonds you to the people you have sex with.
This means that even science is all up in your business when it comes to sex — and yes, since coitus tends to feel great and make you feel closer to your partners, it’s pretty easy to understand how and why you could confuse satisfying sex for a genuine long-term connection with someone.
And so, just to make sure you can “see clearly” when it comes to having sex vs. being in a relationship, when you’re in a (healthy) relationship with someone...
- You and your partner agree that you both are on the same page
- Nothing is “complicated” because you want the same things
- There is reciprocity
- There is regular and open communication
- There are clear expectations
- You both know each other’s needs and wants — and enjoy meeting them
- There are mutual and consistent displays of empathy and affection
- You are a part of each other’s worlds (people, places, things and ideas)
- Future plans are made with ease
- Instead of stress and anxiety, there is peace — mutually so
If you can’t say this about who you are having sex with, I don’t care how many orgasms he gives you, while y’all may be in something (like a situationship), you aren’t in a relationship (don’t believe me? Ask him). If you are fine with that, cool. All I’m saying is don’t try to turn sex into something that it’s not. Orgasms are a sign of sexual fulfillment. Those other 10 signs are indications that a real relationship truly exists.
6. I Will Not Sacrifice My Mental and Emotional State for Physical Pleasure
Just this morning, I sent an article to a friend of mine that featured signs that you have a good amount of self-respect. Some of the signs included not tolerating being taken for granted, not allowing emotional manipulation, and not tolerating dishonesty. I sent that to her because she is currently in a situationship where she definitely is allowing a cyclic form of disrespect (inconsistency, gaslighting, etc.) from a guy and that tends to happen when we don’t respect our own selves very much.
Know what else is interesting about ole’ boy? She says that he continues to be the best sex that she has ever had — and here’s the thing about that: when someone makes you feel great on a physical level, it can be easier than you might think to ignore how they make you feel on a mental and emotional one.
If reading what I just said triggered you on some level, that’s a sign that you shouldn’t take it lightly. I have said it before and I’m sure that I will say it a billion times more before I close my eyes for the last time on this planet, that sacrifice means to give up something good for something greater — and you should never EVER think that sacrificing mental and emotional health and stability is a smart move, so long as your sexual needs are being met.
Nor should you lie to yourself and say that if a man makes you feel good, that automatically means that he is good for you. If you’re confused, upset, crying, chasing, or drained with said guy more times than not…you are exactly who I am talking to…too.
7. I Will Choose to Sexually Evolve — Constantly
A few years ago, I penned an article for the platform entitled, “BDE: Please Let The 'It Needs To Be Huge' Myth Go.” To this day, the married couple who are mentioned in the piece? They are struggling in the bedroom department (even after over two decades of marriage) and a big part of it is because the wife has evolved into wanting other things, sexually, while the husband refuses to accept it. It has resulted in a pretty much sexless marriage which is really nothing more than glorified roommates.
This can happen when one or two people refuse to evolve — yes, even sexually. And the sad part is when you don’t opt to grow, even in the sex department, it can prevent you from discovering and experiencing so many other things about sex, you and your partner.
So yes, as I close this out, don’t let 2025 pass you by without also putting forth the concerted effort to (safely, wisely, and purposefully) SEXUALLY EVOLVE. To sexually ADVANCE. To sexually MATURE. To sexually EMERGE. Sex is too big and vast to settle for only what you know about it and you (as it relates to sex) now. Be a student, “graduate” from some things, and evolve into other ones.
Sex can handle it. And so can you.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Maskot/Getty Images