Signs You Might Be A Little Bi-Curious & What To Do About It
I like big butts, and I can not lie! When Sir Mix-A lot made that song, he made it just for me. As a self-identifying heterosexual woman over the years, I have often wondered if my love for phat asses was normal. Maybe my infatuation with phat asses stems from the fact that I was not blessed to be able to become a card-carrying member of the big-ass brigade. My ass is flat. It doesn’t jiggle or bounce. It’s just there. So because of my lack thereof, I've learned to appreciate others. It’s something about the way a phat ass moves in a dress or how the cheeks dance around in a circle when twerking that makes me want to caress it. I often joke with my friends that I turn “gay” every time a phat ass walks past.
Surely I am not the only person who has wondered whether they were no longer "straight" because of their attraction to someone of the same gender. Sexuality is not black-and-white. It’s very fluid. While some of us are lucky enough to have it all figured out. Most of us, however, have had questions and had to do some introspection to understand romantic and sexual feelings towards more than one sex. Does my love for big juicy booties make me bi-curious, or am I just appreciative of the Lord’s work? To answer this question, we first need to understand what bi-curiosity is.
An individual who is bi-curious is someone who is curious about different genders but does not categorize themselves as bisexual. You may find this if you've only known you were sexually attracted to one gender in the past. You may then discover that your sexual orientation is questioned when you find yourself sexually attracted to someone of the same gender. People are highly complex creatures, which is why it’s not uncommon for people to have moments of doubt about their sexuality.
So is being bi-curious and bisexual one and the same? No. Being bi-curious has nothing to do with sexual or gender identity. It’s defined more as a period of exploring – a sort of experimental stage, if you will, whereas bisexual people are those who no longer doubt their attraction to more than one gender.
If you’re wondering if you’re bi-curious, there are several signs to look out for that could indicate this is the case. Here are some clues on if your attraction to that person means you are really bi-curious!
You kissed someone of the same gender and liked it.
In the words of the singer, Katy Perry, “I kissed a girl, and I liked it!” Kissing someone of the same gender and enjoying it could be a sign that you are bi-curious, especially if you didn’t want the kiss to stop and the kiss kinda turned you on.
You wonder what sex would be like with someone of the same gender.
People are often curious about various types of sexual activities, including sex with people of the same gender. But if you find yourself fantasizing or even watching porn that features same-gendered sex acts or same-sex relationships, you might be a little bi-curious.
You like seeing the same gender naked.
Appreciating the beauty of a naked body is one thing, but if you find your eyes lingering at body parts with thoughts of performing a sexual act or two, then that could be a telltale sign you might be bi-curious.
You’re physically attracted to the same gender.
Are you drawn to people of the same gender? Are you wanting to be around them all the time? Do you find yourself getting butterflies around them? Do you daydream about them? These can also be signs of attraction and could mean you are bi-curious.
Now that we’ve discussed some potential signs of bi-curiosity, let’s talk about what steps can be taken once those feelings have been acknowledged and explored further. First off, it’s important to remember that whatever path feels right for you is the right one—so don’t feel pressured into any particular decision or lifestyle just because it seems like the “right thing to do.”
That being said, there are still plenty of resources available online (and offline) for those looking to explore their sexuality further—including support groups specifically designed for LGBTQ+ individuals looking for guidance and advice from others who understand their situation firsthand.
Additionally, many cities offer bisexual meetups where people can connect in person—which can be invaluable when navigating any changes in sexual orientation or identity. Finally, talking about these issues with trusted friends or family members can also help provide needed perspective and clarity—and make sure there is someone who has your back through any changes that come up along the way.
Exploring one's sexuality is an incredibly personal journey—but it doesn't have to be done alone! If you think that you might be bi-curious or bisexual, take some time to reflect on your feelings and consider reaching out for additional support from friends or other resources like support groups or meetups in order to gain more insight into what path makes sense for your particular situation.
Remember, no matter what decisions you make regarding your sexuality moving forward, know that it's okay—you're allowed to explore without judgment or pressure.
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Sabrina Dhowre Elba Admits To Not Initially Knowing Who Idris Elba Was When They Met
Model and entrepreneur Sabrina Elba recently recalled the intimate moments surrounding the fateful day she first encountered her husband, Idris Elba.
The couple, who have been together since 2017, met at a jazz bar in Vancouver when Idris was working on his film Mountain Between Us. Years later, in April 2019, following a whirlwind romance, Sabrina and Idris would tie the knot in Morocco.
Since then, the pair's love story has become "couple goals" among many for various reasons. The list includes the numerous times Sabrina and Idris have showcased their love on social media. Another factor contributing to the duo's likability is that Sabrina and Idris have displayed over the years that being with the right partner can elevate one's career or passion in life.
Sabrina and Idris have collaborated professionally in several businesses, including their Coupledom podcast and skincare brand S'Able Labs. In a June interview on Jemele Hill's Unbothered podcast, the 34-year-old opened up about the events leading up to when she met Idris and how she initially didn't know who he was.
Sabrina Dhowre Elba on Meeting Idris Elba
Sabrina, who was living in Vancouver at the time, said that the same night Idris was in town, she went out to a jazz bar for an event called Slow Jam Sunday for a friend’s birthday.
Around that time, the model was getting over a breakup and claimed she wasn't interested in a relationship because of how badly her previous one ended. In a past interview, Idris revealed that he, too, just went through a breakup before meeting Sabrina.
"This is so funny. I [had] just gotten out of a really bad relationship, so I was not this person. I was like 'men are trash. They suck.' I'm literally ready to switch it on up or something because I was so over it," she said. "I come to this party with a night off at work that I prebooked because I was working literally every weekend. But it was my girlfriend's birthday party, so I was there kind of by chance."
Sabrina also revealed that, coincidently, the night she took off for her friend's birthday celebration was the same night Idris had the day off and was convinced by his stunt double to attend Slow Jam Sunday.
"Slow Jam Sundays is an amazing night in Vancouver. It's the one night I would probably go to, but you wouldn't see me out often because I was a weekend worker. I was working at restaurants and service industry, your weekends are taken up," she stated.
"Idris was filming this film in Vancouver and had one night off in Vancouver because most of it was filmed sort of up north in the mountains. His stunt double convinced him to go to Slow Jam Sundays. By chance, we were both there."
Further into the interview, Sabrina disclosed that her friend was interested in Idris at first and went to flirt with him. However, the Daddy's Little Girls star dismissed the friend's advances because Sabrina had caught his eye.
When Sabrina's friend informed her about what happened, she admitted that although she tried to put up a front for her friend's sake, the S'Able Labs CEO was happy because she thought he was also attractive. Following the discussion, Sabrina and her friend went to the section where Idris was, and the couple realized how much they had in common, from the music choices to their background.
"So I go over, and we have like one of those conversations that you just feel like you've known this person for ten years because we're singing the same songs. When a song comes on that I love, he's like, 'I love this song.' I'm like, 'what?' Like I just had this like cultural connection. He's African. I'm like,' Where are you from?'" she said.
Sabrina On Not Knowing Who Idris Was After Meeting Him
As the topic shifted to Idris' celebrity status, Sabrina explained that she didn't know who he was until after it was brought to her attention by a few people she met outside of the bar.
"When I went outside, I realized because there's a group of people there, they're like, 'Oh, you're talking to Idris Elba,'" she stated.
When asked about how well-known the actor was when they met, Sabrina shared that Idris was widely famous in America but not so much in Canada and that the one film she saw him in was the 2009 thriller Obsessed.
Sabrina would add that even after being told who Idris was, she couldn't recollect where she knew him from until her friends mentioned the movie.
"Well, so the film that I had seen was Obsessed... I feel Idris Elba now he gets recognized so much. In that moment, unless you were kind of in that zeitgeist, he was definitely a lot more popular in America," she said. "I don't think I would've known it even when they said that was him. I was trying to remember, like, my friends were like, 'yeah, he's from Obsessed.' We're like, 'Oh, yeah.'"
After figuring out who Idris was, Sabrina shared that when she re-entered the venue, she doubted a relationship would form between them given his occupation, the short timeline he would be there to shoot his movie, and the constant temptation that could flock around him due to his status. But despite Sabrina's uncertainty, they would exchange numbers before she left.
"So I went back inside, we started chatting some more, and he was like, 'Let me take your number.' I was like, 'Alright,' and then I left," she stated.
The model explained the reason why she left the event was that her friend, whose birthday she was celebrating, wanted to check out other spots. When the night was coming to an end, Sabrina hailed a taxi to go home when she received a phone call from Idris. The entrepreneur revealed that the Takers star stopped her from entering the cab and urged her to get in the car he was driving, and they spent the whole night talking until 8 a.m.
"I got in his car, and we spoke till like 8 a.m. easy. It was probably like 2 [a.m.] at that time. We just had the most intense, amazing conversation," she said. "It was the first time I ever connected with someone to the point where I was like, I went home the next day called my friends, I was like, 'I think I found my soulmate.'"
Sabrina revealed that from that fateful night, she and Idris became inseparable. The couple would be long-distance for a brief stint of their union until they acknowledged how difficult it was to maintain that type of relationship. Sabrina ultimately decided to move in with Idris although she was skeptical at first, she claimed it was one of the best decisions she's made because she found her "soulmate."
Sabrina Elba's First Night with Idris Elba Sounds Like a Romance Movie
Model and philanthropist Sabrina Elba joins Jemele to discuss her marriage to actor Idris Elba, and their heartwarming, love at first sight origin story.SUBS...Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Dave Benett/Getty Images for Space NK
