

Back when I was a teenager, I remember going into a health store and overhearing my mother speaking with a homeopath. For whatever the reason, what stood out to me most was the woman saying there was such a thing as "widow's disease". According to her, if a woman hasn't had sex in a couple of years and then does again, it's not uncommon for her body to literally flood with vaginal fluid and the nickname for it is, well, widow's disease. Ever since I heard her say that, I have never forgotten it nor have I been able to Google search it; however, it has caused me to keep an ear out for other "huh?!" things about vaginas that may cross my path. In walks, winter vagina.
If you just scrunched up your nose and/or your eyes got wide while looking at the screen, that's exactly how I felt when I first heard the term. And since apparently it's something that tends to creep up around this time of the year, I figured this would be as good of a time as any to break down what it's all about. Are you ready to protect yourself from ending up with — chile, CHILE — winter vagina? I totally feel you.
What in the World Is “Winter Vagina”?
And just what in the world is a winter vagina? From what I've researched, this is something that a midwife from London has been receiving a lot of buzz about. Basically, since cold weather can lead to lower humidity, brisk winds and less moisture, it's no secret that all of this can cause our skin to dry out. No shocker there, right?
OK, but wouldn't it make sense that if say, the lips on our face can feel extra chapped during the fall and winter seasons that our "lips down below" would as well? Especially since when it's colder outside, we tend to rely on central heat which can totally zap the moisture that is in the air out from whatever room that we are in. Ladies and gents, I give you, winter vagina.
The reason why this is so important to keep in mind is because, oftentimes, whenever the topic of vaginal dryness comes up, it's usually centered around there being a drop in our system's estrogen levels or some other kind of medical condition. However, thanks to the introduction of "winter vagina", now we've got something else that could be the reason for why we're not very moist (or wet enough) down below. And since a dry vagina can lead to vaginal infections and definitely uncomfortable sex, it's important that each of us are proactive about keeping our vagina naturally lubricated, as much as possible — especially around this particular time. Because, as you can see, while winter is cool, a winter vagina isn't. So, just what can you do to stay on top of this issue?
5 Things You Can Do to Prevent “Her” from Experiencing It
1. Eat some phytoestrogens.
If you think that your vagina is dry because your hormones are a bit off kilter, something that can help is to eat foods that are high in phytoestrogens. The reason why is because an even balance of estrogen can help to keep your vagina moist. Some of those foods include dried fruits, sesame seeds, peaches, wheat bran, cruciferous vegetables (like cauliflower and broccoli), peaches and alfalfa sprouts.
2. Moisturize with extra virgin olive oil.
If your inner or outer lips feel drier than you would like, something that can bring them instant relief is extra virgin olive oil (oil that is made from pure cold-pressed olives oil). The fatty acids and antioxidants in it are great when it comes to deeply moisturizing your skin, repairing damaged skin tissues and providing antibacterial benefits too.
Just make sure to not use this as a lubricant when it comes to engaging in penetrative sex if you're going to use a condom. The reason why is because oils tend to dissolve prophylactics which is definitely not what you want to happen if you're trying to prevent a potential STD or unplanned pregnancy.
3. Use lubricant during sex.
Now, if you want to use some lube (and I totally get why you would. Check out "The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant"), just make sure to go with one that is silicone or water-based instead. Silicone has amazing slip while water-based is good for your sex toys. Either way, it's probably the best way to combat winter vagina as far as sex is concerned, so make sure to have at least a couple of tubes lying around somewhere.
4. DIY vaginal wash.
You know something else that can dry out your vagina? Perfumed soaps, gels or body washes. Not only that but they are also prone to throw off your vagina's pH balance (check out "Sis, This Is How To Keep Your Vagina's pH Balanced"). This is why it's best to use water only, something that is all-natural (a bar that I got on Etsy that I really like is Kaishasorganic's Tea Tree Yoni Soap) or, you can even make your own vaginal wash. If you're interested in trying "Door #3", I've got you covered. A couple of years back, I wrote "Love On Yourself With These 7 All-Natural DIY Vaginal Washes" for the site. I've made some of them myself. They're dope.
5. Sleep naked with a humidifier on.
Listen, something that I've been telling anyone who will listen is they should definitely invest in a (new) humidifier. Since it's officially cold/flu/COVID season and none of those viruses like higher humidity environments, sleeping with one on can help to prevent you from getting sick. It also can help to keep your skin really moist, including your vagina, especially if you sleep naked. It's something that can effectively help to fend off a winter vagina all fall and winter season long — which is definitely a good thing. Extremely so, sis.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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I’ve gotta say that, for the most part, my friends are pretty damn chill. There is one (major) exception, though — and it’s an odd one. Even after all these years and countless times of me giving them the same answer, if there is a time when they think they are my mama, it’s when they see an email come through at an odd hour of the night. Then, all of a sudden, here they come asking me when do I get sleep if I’m emailing at (say) three in the morning.
Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
If you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
There is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
Something that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
Even if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
I saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
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Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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