![Quantcast](http://pixel.quantserve.com/pixel/p-GS-HF4BKvzCmv.gif)
![When Do You Spice Things Up In The Bedroom? 6 ‘Insecure’ Fans Sound Off](https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzMyNTcwMi9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTc1OTQ1NjUwMn0.EQJ95kTSo1vmnl9m1vhXRfDCRVWHTUahcGSEq7yAS4M/img.jpg?width=1200&height=600&quality=90&coordinates=0%2C136%2C0%2C547)
When Do You Spice Things Up In The Bedroom? 6 ‘Insecure’ Fans Sound Off
This week's episode of Insecure gave us all the Memorial Day weekend feels with Molly and Andrew's tropical baecation. It was just the boost we needed after Issa's failed attempts at "getting over" their friend fight that left off with her walking away from a Molly confrontation.
But back to Sunday's episode, "Lowkey Trippin'" that gave us palm trees, mile-high club, bikinis, balcony sex, umbrella drinks, a 50 Shades-level bedroom scene (Thank you, HBO) and made me miss catching flights and feelings.
Here's what you need to know…
After a week-long wait, we finally got Molly's POV who seemed to be "getting over" the friend fight a bit better than Issa because, hello, baecation. Things got HOT between Molly and Andrew in Mexico, like sex-toys-and-tossing-the-salad HOT. Their bedroom playtime got off to an awkward start since Molly and Andrew had very different ideas of how to spice things up. Eventually, though they got on the same page.
☠️ https://t.co/BxzfwPWELC
— Issa Rae (@IssaRae) May 25, 2020
When discussing these sexy scenes with my friends, the overall consensus was that communication is key. Andrew and Molly clearly had very different ideas what "spicing things up" meant. Although short-lived, the awkwardness could have been completely avoided with a quick convo. I know I'd want to be warned if my travel buddy was walking around with a secret sex arsenal that included butt stuff and handcuffs before we get to the bedroom. I'm all for spontaneity, but not when it comes to butt stuff. Let's have a conversation. As for a time frame, I don't do anything by a specific schedule. If it feels, it feels right.
But that's just me and everyone approaches butt stuff and other kinks on their own terms. So, I asked Insecure fans this:
At what point in a relationship do you spice things up in the bedroom? How do you do it?
Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.
"I think when it comes to 'spicing things up', you have to first communicate if there is anything that is lacking or if both parties' needs are being met. Especially if the relationship is new, why isn't it exciting anymore? After that, I think it's fair game to introduce toys that will add to the experience. It's all about what people are comfortable with." –Sherryll Morton
Keep The Toys Charged For Go Time
"Well, I think there should always be a healthy dialogue about each other's sexual desires. After years of being with the same woman you got to be honest in what you want. The things you watch in private, the thoughts etc. Try to recreate them. There is no specific time where it should be spiced up.
"However, places out of the norm usually gives a thrilling sensation. Why do the same things over and over?
"The bedroom is always going to be there but how often are you on a boat ride, or in a crowded store or in another country with a background only seen in screen savers? Tie me up, spank her, make sure the toys are charged and blow her back out." –James Cameau, Patient Advocate
Have The Sex Conversation BEFORE Sex
"Oh boy, oh boy! You should always be spicy in the bedroom. I think we should be having the sex conversation BEFORE we have sex. Talking about the things we like sexually allows us to decide what's too much for us or what piques our interest.
"In the past I've simply bought toys or games to enhance the sexual experience between me and my partner. It could be something as simple as warming lubricant oil or something more kinky like rope. Either way you have to create a safe space for your partner, set a sexy mood and create a stimulating experience. Get some sex dice, light some candles, roll and go." –AmiyahDeziire, Author, Midnight Confessions
Keep It Spicy From Day One
"From day one, gotta keep 'em guessing. If you start doing extra shit later you're admitting that the relationship has gone stale and need to be shook up. You can't fix it when the thrill is gone." –Michael Gordon, Freelance Videographer
Don’t Wait For Things To Get Stale
"I don't think there is a specific time frame or a certain relationship level. I think that if you are comfortable with the person that you are with, there's always room to try new things.
"There's always this 'Oh, I'm not doing that until I'm married' or 'That's reserved for my man'. When having a deep sexual connection with someone (no matter their title), there's nothing but space and opportunity.
"But if we are speaking in terms of a relationship, I think that you should always feel free to try new things. Don't wait for things to get stale." –Ashlee Graham, Senior Producer, BET Digital
Don't Be Scurred
"This episode was very interesting, yes, but not as kinky as the writers were making it seem. From my point of view, I would say that those items that Andrew had with him on the trip with Molly are definitely the basics and a necessity for sure in any bedroom. That's just me, of course, everyone has different styles, but I like the direction Andrew was headed in [laughs].
"If I had to put a time stamp on when to introduce my style and kink level, I would have to say in the first three months for sure. Again, that's just me. It may sound too fast to some, but I think it's more so about not wasting time and being progressive. It's based on the person you're with, yes, and once y'all reach that point where sex is involved, soon after the talk about preferences can be introduced. Why wait? I think being pleased is the main goal, and what better way to get more satisfied than expressing what you like and don't like with your person. Don't be scared. Tell them what you want and save yourself wasted time with the same old routine." –Sgt. Simone Victor,U.S. Army
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here to receive our latest articles and news straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Insecure/HBO
- I Took A Sexercise Class With My Husband - xoNecole: Women's ... ›
- The 6 Sex Toys & Pleasure Accessories Every Couple Needs ... ›
- Dirty Talk: What To Say During Sex - xoNecole: Women's Interest ... ›
Jazmine A. Ortiz is a creative born and raised in Bushwick, Brooklyn and currently living in Staten Island, NY. She started in the entertainment industry in 2012 and now works as a Lifestyle Editor where she explores everything from mental health to vegan foodie trends. For more on what she's doing in the digital space follow her on Instagram at @liddle_bitt.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Summer Travel Guide: 9 Safest Vacation Spots For Black Women
When it comes to planning and choosing our international travels, there’s one question that is bound to come up: “Is it safe for Black women?”
At times, our travel plans can be halted by whether or not our desired destination is safe not only for solo travel but for overall protection as women of color. We want to have fun, go on excursions, taste the food, and let our hair down, so the last thing we need on our minds is navigating microaggressions and worrying about our safety.
According to a report by The Mandala Research Firm, 17% of Black Americans take one or more international trips and travel locally more than six times per year. Even more exciting, 42% of Black Americans said they would spend more in 2020 on travel than in 2019 (pre-Covid), and 50% of Black adults (16% more than the general population) are more likely to travel to locations associated with their ethnic or cultural heritage. All of this goes to show that we’re not afraid to pack our bags and book flights to our heart's desire.
Our passion for travel and exploration highlights a growing desire to connect with a wide range of cultures while discovering new fresh locales. By choosing destinations with positive reputations for safety and belonging, you can enjoy your next adventure with peace of mind. And to help, we’ve provided a list of the best vacation spots to add to our travel bucket list.
1.Havana, Cuba
Known for its vibrant culture and welcoming locals, Havana offers a unique travel experience for you and your girlfriends. Stroll through the historic streets of Old Havana and immerse yourself in the lively music and dance scenes that make this city unforgettable.
2.Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Famous for its Carnival, stunning beaches, and warm hospitality, Rio de Janeiro is a lively and safe city to explore all year long. Don't miss a visit to the iconic Christ the Redeemer statue and the bustling Copacabana Beach for a true taste of Rio's energetic spirit.
3.Belize
With its beautiful beaches, diverse wildlife, and laid-back Caribbean vibe, Belize is a safe and adventurous destination for travelers. Discover the underwater wonders of the Belize Barrier Reef and explore ancient Lamanai Maya Ruins.
4.Paris, France
Who doesn’t have Paris, the city of lights, on their travel list? Renowned for its art, fashion, and iconic landmarks like the Eiffel Tower, Paris offers a blend of romance and safety for travelers. Wander through the charming neighborhoods of Montmartre and Le Marais, explore the Louvre, and indulge in the city's exquisite culinary delights.
5.Lisbon, Portugal
Portugal's capital city, Lisbon, charms visitors with its historic architecture, delicious cuisine, and welcoming atmosphere. Enjoy breathtaking views from São Jorge Castle and savor traditional pastries at the famous Pastéis de Belém bakery.
6.Bali, Indonesia
We’ve all seen the viral photos off the Bali coast and Gates of Heaven, so why not make it a reality? Famous for its lush landscapes, vibrant culture, and serene temples, Bali offers a safe and enriching travel experience in Southeast Asia.
7.Tokyo, Japan
Recently, the value of the Japanese Yen has seen a significant drop, making it the lowest it has been against the dollar since 1986, which also means that there’s no better time than now to make your travel plans to the renowned cultural hub.
8.Accra, Ghana
There’s no FOMO like the kind felt from seeing all the beautiful faces enjoying their holiday at Ghana’s Afrochella Festival, so let this be your sign to start planning the trip now. Often referred to as a welcoming home for the African diaspora, Ghana offers rich cultural experiences and a sense of belonging. Explore the vibrant markets of Accra and visit the historic Cape Coast Castle to connect with the nation's poignant past.
9.Seoul, South Korea
You may be surprised to find this city on the list, but for Black travelers, Seoul is said to be one of the safest and most exciting cities to travel to. There will be plenty to eat, buy, and experience from this city’s rich history and culture.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Klaus Vedfelt/Getty Images