There's almost nothing more frustrating, heartbreaking, and totally devastating for a travel lover than a totally horrible lodging experience. Let's paint a picture here: You've been saving up for that anniversary trip with your bae for the past six months. You've finally got your coins together and booked your flight. Now, all that's left is to find a place to lay your heads. You and your boo prefer to steer clear of traditional resorts or hotels—they're just not your vibe—so you go to one of the top online platforms for booking cool, short-term vacation rentals.
You see the perfect spot: close to the beach, great views, chic decor, and within budget. The property even boasts a high rating and self-check-in. You take out your card, choose your dates, and seal the deal with no problems, until you finally reach your destination.
Though the listing looks somewhat like the photos, the toilets and showers don't work properly, and there are seedy characters posted up around the property. When you contact the host, they top it all off with insensitivity and apathy, so you and bae thug it out for a night and leave in the morning.
Well, this happened to me.
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It Was All Good... Until It Wasn't
My man and I were catfished. Bamboozled. Hoodwinked. And we had to shell out more money or even risk finding no replacement lodging at all due to the efforts of a dubious host.
On top of that, said host was also rated very highly and decided to send a nasty message about how I was jeopardizing the rating when I told the truth about my experience in my final review. And this isn't my only horror story. In the second of my top five worst lodging experiences, I had a host cancel my booking just a few days before I was set to travel, claiming that the rate I'd gotten when I booked the home was "out of date" and snarkily wishing me "luck" in finding a budget-friendly replacement during "high season."
Hundreds of dollars for the booking had already been debited from my account, and it would have taken up to 15 days to get the funds back had I not contacted the platform's customer service reps multiple times via multiple channels and advocated for myself. I got my funds back within 48 hours, but only after a lot of stress, dozens of emails, numerous chat messages, and back-to-back phone calls.
Needless to say, I had to give privately owned spaces a break for a while, and for the past few years, I've mostly stayed at traditional hotels, booking them through the usual channels (either the brand's website or the tried-and-true third-party sites.) But what did I learn? Always contact the host before booking, even if they're rated highly. (It's a great opportunity to find out more about the property, get a sense of what type of host you're dealing with, and gauge whether something could be fishy or too good to be true.) Keep those emergency funds on deck. Have a plan B, C, and D. And last, but certainly, not least, trust my gut.
If you can relate to any of this, just know we're not alone. (And when you check out Consumer Affairs and the Better Business Bureau, there's some interesting information, to say the least.)
While there can be amazing experiences offered by hosts on popular vacation rental sites, there are also cautionary tales that we all can learn from. Check out a few more vacation rental horror stories from travelers and how you can avoid a totally horrible experience.
Chanice took her love for travel to the next level, starting an online travel platform, Fly with Queenie, and hosting experiences in the U.S. and abroad. She's traveled to Mexico, Jamaica, and Tanzania, to name a few, and has booked lodgings and experiences via popular online sites like many other travelers. She's definitely had her fair share of both amazing and not-so-amazing experiences while globetrotting.
"I had a client who wanted me to plan a birthday trip for her and her friends to Jamaica. I wanted to give her multiple options instead of just hotels, so I checked on Airbnb as well," she recalled. "I saw a property that was in a good area, had a 4.5 rating, the photos looked good, and it had a local owner which was great because I'm an advocate of supporting locally owned properties."
Adding Insult to Injury...
Things took a turn when she contacted the host about details that she said weren't listed via the online post. "I had specific questions regarding whether it was possible to pay to have someone make an authentic Jamaican meal, as well as specific questions pertaining to transportation options the host mentioned, were available."
"The host wrote back almost immediately and basically told me I could not book the property, accused me of not reading the ad clearly, and even threatened that if I were to book, my reservation would be canceled. The tone of the correspondence was so rude and it was a complete turn-off."
Chanice said the exchange made her feel "insulted," as if she'd done something wrong by simply asking questions about the property and its offerings. She added that the host even blocked her. "The customer service was horrible, especially from one Black person to another. As someone who has a business, even if a customer asks a question that is already answered in your ad, you should be nice and courteous to them. Your tone should always be kind and friendly to retain the customer."
Airbnb has "host reliability standards" listed on its site, and they include an expectation that hosts or co-hosts "are available to respond to guest inquiries or unexpected issues that may arise during stays," and that they "should be responsive and willing to answer questions."
While Charmin never got a chance to be an official "guest," (and dodged a bullet in terms of a potential problem for her clients) she said she reported the host's behavior via the appropriate channels. "I'm not sure what the resolution was but I hope that he was talked to about the feedback I gave."
The Advice
For travelers using online booking sites to book private homes and experiences, Charmin recommends reading beyond the first few reviews of a place or experience. After using her own online platform to share what happened to her, she found out that other travelers who'd actually stayed at the host's listing had issues including water pressure outages, rude exchanges, and unanswered questions. Also, upon looking further into reviews about the property on multiple sites, there were several that went into detail about issues with the host and property.
"Had I read more reviews despite the host having a 4.5 rating out of 5, I would have seen the many comments about the host being rude in person," she added.
"My advice is to also check to see if the property is listed on social media websites or other property booking websites and read those reviews as well. Even if the host has a good rating, there may be a bad review in the middle of a decent review or constructive criticism that you may be overlooking."
It's also a good idea to ask other travelers and locals via forums like Trip Advisor or Facebook groups, and see if they've ever either stayed at the property, are familiar with the host, or live near the area. While you want to be fair and make the best decision for your travel needs, it's always good to be armed with the information in order to do so.
Latrice Darlene, Educator & Travel Entrepreneur
Latrice, a Paris-based educator and founder of lifestyle platform Paris Chic Code, took a trip to Curacao a few years ago and was expecting the best at a luxurious property where she and her friend would be staying in separate but nearby rooms. "We rented this gorgeous apartment in Curacao and it had a beautiful view," she said. They'd enjoyed lounging at the beach, visiting historic sites, taking a trip on a yacht, and vibing with salsa dancing.
When Luxe Goes Left...
"After a night staying there, my friend kept complaining about itching and, after about the fifth day of our eight-day trip, we decided to lift the sheets on her mattress," she recalled. "It was bed bugs. My friend was hysterical." She added that they got in touch with the Airbnb customer service line based overseas. "We were arguing back and forth. They wanted us to take pictures of the bed. We sent them the photos and the woman said, 'That's not bed bugs.' Unfortunately, there's nothing we can do. If you want to check into another hotel, Airbnb will not be responsible for it.'"
They were devastated but wouldn't take no for an answer, so Latrice continued calling and asked for Airbnb's U.S.-based customer service. She also contacted the management for the building. "They were Dutch, and they were saying, 'Look we've never had a problem like this before. If we order a mattress, it's going to take another day to arrive. We can put you in another apartment,'" Latrice recalled. "My friend was enraged, and she didn't want to stay at that property. Then, because there was a dispute going back and forth, the management said, 'We've never had this problem. How do we know that it wasn't you who brought the bed bugs?'"
Latrice was sure that neither she nor her friend could've brought the bugs because they'd only been there for a few days and the mattress was stained as though there was an infestation way before they'd arrived. She ended up sending photos to the U.S-based customer service representative and a rep ended up offering to cover the cost of the remainder of their stay. Since her friend didn't want to stay at the same property and it would take a while for them to find another Airbnb, they decided to just book a hotel room.
She eventually got a full refund for the stay but it took months to get her money back and she had to use her credit card to book another hotel in the meanwhile.
"I didn't get my money back immediately. I'd already paid for the hotel. They credited me for the two nights that I didn't stay, for a new Airbnb," she said. "When I got back home, I got credited for the stay and the inconvenience but it took about two months for them to reimburse me for the full stay."
Despite the horrible experience, she and her friend were able to complete their trip. "In the second hotel, we had a beautiful view but we had to share a room. That was a bit of a bummer. We were annoyed by the situation and totally inconvenienced because we had to run around trying to find a hotel comparable to the original lodging we had. For the most part, it was fine. We had two days left, we had a pool and we made the best of it. If I were in a situation where I didn't have extra money or credit cards, I would've been up a creek."
Lessons Learned
Latrice's advice to other travelers who come across issues during their stay at a vacation rental is to document and report the issues immediately. "What I learned was that we waited too long to say something. We were there five days before reporting it, so it was almost like, 'Why didn't you say anything from the beginning?'" she said. "It's a very valid argument. We should have said something. She should have pulled the sheets back the first day."
She also added that though she had that experience, it doesn't stop her from booking vacation rentals nor has it added extra anxiety to her trips since. "I can't go into a hotel or lodging thinking something will be wrong. I trust that my trip will be amazing and deal with anything that might be to the contrary in that moment."
The travel tribe is sure to come through in times of need, so just know that if you've been through a horrible or uneasy experience at a vacation rental, they've got your back. Get some comfort and take heed from these stories. Be sure to be careful, diligent, and mindful when booking lodging or experiences online for your next travel adventure.
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Amber Riley has the type of laugh that sticks with you long after the raspy, rhythmic sounds have ceased. It punctuates her sentences sometimes, whether she’s giving a chuckle to denote the serious nature of something she just said or throwing her head back in rip-roarious laughter after a joke. She laughs as if she understands the fragility of each minute. She chooses laughter often with the understanding that future joy is not guaranteed.
Credit: Ally Green
The sound of her laughter is rivaled only by her singing voice, an emblem of the past and the future resilience of Black women stretched over a few octaves. On Fox’s Glee, her character Mercedes Jones was portrayed, perhaps unfairly, as the vocal duel to Rachel Berry (Lea Michele), offering rough, full-throated belts behind her co-star’s smooth, pristine vocals. Riley’s always been more than the singer who could deliver a finishing note, though.
Portraying Effie White, she displayed the dynamic emotions of a song such as “And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going” in Dreamgirls on London’s West End without buckling under the historic weight of her predecessors. With her instrument, John Mayer’s “Gravity” became a religious experience, a belted hymnal full of growls and churchy riffs. In her voice, Nicole Scherzinger once said she heard “the power of God.”
Credit: Ally Green
Riley’s voice has been a staple throughout pop culture for nearly 15 years now. Her tone has become so distinguishable that most viewers of Fox’s The Masked Singer recognized the multihyphenate even before it was revealed that she was Harp, the competition-winning, gold-masked figure with an actual harp strapped to her back.
Still, it wasn’t until recently that Riley began to feel like she’d found her voice. This sounds unbelievable. But she’s not referring to the one she uses on stage. She’s referencing the voice that speaks to who she is at her core. “Therapy kind of gave me the training to speak my mind,” the 37-year-old says. “It’s not something we’re taught, especially as Black women. I got so comfortable in [doing so], and I really want other people, especially Black women, to get more comfortable in that space.”
“Therapy kind of gave me the training to speak my mind. It’s not something we’re taught, especially as Black women."
If you ask Riley’s manager, Myisha Brooks, she’ll tell you the foundation of who the multihyphenate is hasn’t changed much since she was a kid growing up in Compton. “She is who she is from when I met her back when she was singing in the front of the church to back when she landed major roles in film and TV,” Brooks says. Time has allowed Riley to grow more comfortable, giving fans a more intimate glimpse into her life, including her mental health journey and the ins and outs of show business.
The actress/singer has been in therapy since 2019, although she suffered from depression and anxiety way before that. In a recent interview with Jason Lee, she recalls having suicidal ideation as a kid. By the time she started seeing a psychologist and taking antidepressants in her thirties, her body had become jittery, a physical reminder of the trauma stacked high inside her. “I was shaking in [my therapist’s] office,” she tells xoNecole. “My fight or flight was on such a high level. I was constantly in survival mode. My heart was beating fast all the time. All I did was sweat.”
There wasn’t just childhood trauma to account for. After auditioning for American Idol and being turned away by producers, Riley began working for Ikea and nearly missed her Glee audition because her car broke down on the highway while en route. Thankfully, Riley had been cast to play Mercedes Jones. American Idol had temporarily convinced her she wasn’t cut out for the entertainment industry, but this was validation that she was right where she belonged. Glee launched in 2009 with the promise of becoming Riley’s big break.
In some ways, it was. The show introduced Riley to millions of fans and catapulted her into major Hollywood circles. But in other ways, it became a reminder of the types of roles Black women, especially those who are plus-sized, are relegated to. Behind the scenes, Riley says she fought for her character "to have a voice" but eventually realized her efforts were useless. "It finally got to a point where I was like, this is not my moment. I'm not who they're choosing, and this is just going to have to be a job for me for now," she says. "And, that's okay because it pays my bills, I still get to be on television, I'm doing more than any other Black plus-sized women that I'm seeing right now on screen."
The actress can recognize now that she was navigating issues associated with trauma and low self-esteem at the time. She now knows that she's long had anxiety and depression and can recognize the ways in which she was triggered by how the cult-like following of the show conflicted with her individual, isolated experiences behind the scenes. But she was in her early '20s back then. She didn't yet have the language or the tools to process how she was feeling.
Riley says she eventually sought out medical intervention. "When you're in Hollywood, and you go to a doctor, they give you pills," she says, sharing a part of her story that she'd never revealed publicly before now. "[I was] on medication and developing a habit of medicating to numb, not understanding I was developing an addiction to something that's not fixing my problem. If anything, it's making it worse."
“[I was] on medication and developing a habit of medicating to numb, not understanding I was developing an addiction to something that’s not fixing my problem. If anything it’s making it worse.”
Credit: Ally Green
At one point, while in her dressing room on set, she rested her arm on a curling iron without realizing it. It wasn't until her makeup artist alerted her that she even realized her skin was burning. Once she noticed, she says she was "so zonked out on pills" that she barely reacted. Speaking today, she holds up her arm and motions towards a scar that remains from the incident. She sought help for her reliance on the pills, but it would still be years before she finally attended therapy.
This stress was only compounded by the trauma of growing up in poverty and the realities of being a "contract worker." "Imagine going from literally one week having to borrow a car to get to set to the next week being on a private jet to New York City," she says. After Glee ended, so did the rides on private planes. The fury of opportunities she expected to follow her appearance on the show failed to materialize. She wasn't even 30 yet, and she was already forced to consider if she'd hit her career peak.
. . .
We’re only four minutes into our Zoom call before Riley delivers her new adage to me. “My new mantra is ‘humility does not serve me.’ Humility does not serve Black women. The world works so hard to humble us anyway,” she says.
On this Thursday afternoon in April, the LA-based entertainer is seated inside her closet/dressing room wearing a cerulean blue tank top with matching shorts and eating hot wings. This current phase of healing hinges on balance. It’s about having discipline and consistency, but not at the risk of inflexibility. She was planning to head to the gym, for instance, but she’s still tired from the “exhausting” day before. Instead, she’s spent her day receiving a massage, eating some chicken wings, and planning to spend quality time with friends. “I’m not going to beat myself up for it. I’m not going to talk down to myself. I’m going to eat my chicken wings, and then tomorrow I’m [back] in the gym,” she says.
“My new mantra is ‘humility does not serve me.’ Humility does not serve Black women. The world works so hard to humble us anyway."
This is the balance with which she's been approaching much of her life these days. It's why she's worried less about whether or not people see her as someone who is humble. She'd rather be respected. "I think you should be a person that's easy to work with, but in the moments where I have to ruffle feathers and make waves, I'm not shying away from that anymore. You can do it in love, you don't have to be nasty about it, but I had to finally be comfortable with the fact that setting boundaries around my life – in whatever aspect, whether that's personal or business – people are not going to like it. Some people are not going to have nice things to say about you, and you gotta be okay with it," she says.
When Amber talks about the constant humbling of Black women in Hollywood, I think of the entertainers before her who have suffered from this. The brilliant, consistent, overqualified Black women who have spoken of having to fight for opportunities and fair pay. Aretha Franklin. Viola Davis. Tracee Ellis Ross. There's a long list of stars whose success hasn't mirrored their experiences behind the scenes.
Credit: Ally Green
If Black women outside of Hollywood are struggling to decrease the pay gap, so, too, are their wealthier, more famous peers.
Riley says there’s been progress in recent years, but only in small ways and for a limited group of people. “This business is exhausting. The goalpost is constantly moving, and sometimes it’s unfair,” she says. But, I have to say it’s the love that keeps you going.”
“There’s no way you can continue to be in this business and not love it, especially being a plus-sized Black woman,” she continues. “We’re still niche. We’re still not main characters.”
"There’s no way you can continue to be in this business and not love it, especially being a plus-sized Black woman. We’re still niche. We’re still not main characters.”
Last year, Riley starred alongside Raven Goodwin in the Lifetime thriller Single Black Female (a modern, diversified take on 1992’s Single White Female). It was more than a leading role for the actress, it also served as proof that someone who looks like her can front a successful project without it hinging on her identity. It showcased that the characters she portrays don’t “have to be about being a big girl. It can just be a regular story.”
Riley sees her work in music as an extension of her efforts to push past the rigid stereotypes in entertainment. Take her appearance on The Masked Singer, for instance. Riley said she decided to perform Mayer’s “Gravity” after being told she couldn’t sing it years earlier. “I wanted to do ‘Gravity’ on Glee. [I] was told no, because that’s not a song that Mercedes would do,” she says. “That was a full circle moment for me, doing that on that show and to hear what it is they had to say.”
As Scherzinger praised the “anointed” performance, a masked Riley began to cry, her chest heaving as she stood on stage, her eyes shielded from view. “You have to understand, I have really big names – casting directors, producers, show creators – that constantly tell me ‘I’m such a big fan. Your talent is unmatched.’ Hire me, then,” she says, reflecting on the moment.
Recently, she’s been in the studio working on original music, the follow-up to her independently-released debut EP, 2020’s Riley. The sequel to songs such as the anthemic “Big Girl Energy” and the reflective ballad “A Moment” on Riley, this new project hones in on the singer’s R&B roots with sensual grooves such as the tentatively titled “All Night.” “You said I wasn’t shit, turns out that I’m the shit. Then you called me a bitch, turns out that I’m that bitch. You said no one would want me, well you should call your homies,” she sings on the tentatively titled “Lately,” a cut about reflecting on a past relationship. From the forthcoming project, xoNecole received five potential tracks. Fans likely already know the strengths and contours of Riley’s vocals, but these new songs are her strongest, most confident offerings as an artist.
“I am so much more comfortable as a writer, and I know who I am as an artist now. I’m evolving as a human being, in general, so I’m way more vulnerable in my music. I’m way more willing to talk about whatever is on my mind. I don’t stop myself from saying what it is I want to say,” she says.
Credit: Ally Green
“Every era and alliteration of Amber, the baseline is ‘Big Girl Energy.’ That’s the name of her company,” her manager Brooks says, referencing the imprint through which Riley releases her music after getting out of a label deal several years ago. “It’s just what she stands for. She’s not just talking about size, it’s in all things. Whether it’s putting your big girl pants on and having to face a boardroom full of executives or sell yourself in front of a casting agent. It’s her trying to achieve the things she wants to do in life.”
Riley says she has big dreams beyond releasing this new music, too. She’d love to star in a rom-com with Winston Duke. She hasn't starred in a biopic yet, but she’d revel in the opportunity to portray Rosetta Tharpe on screen. She’s determined that her previous setbacks won’t stop her from dreaming big.
“I think one of my superpowers is resilience because, at the end of the day, I’m going to kick, scream, cry, cuss, be mad and disappointed, but I’m going to get up and risk having to deal with it all again. It’s worth it for the happy moments,” she says.
If Riley seems more comfortable and confident professionally, it’s because of the work she’s been doing in her personal life.
She’d previously spoken to xoNecole about becoming engaged to a man she discovered in a post on the site, but she called things off last year. For Valentine’s Day, she revealed her new boyfriend publicly. “I decided to post him on Valentine’s Day, partially because I was in the dog house. I got in trouble with him,” she says, half-joking before turning serious. “The breakup was never going to stop me from finding love. Or at least trying. I don’t owe anybody a happily ever after. People break up. It happens. When it was good, it was good. When it was bad, it was terrible, hunny. I had to get the fuck up out of there. You find happiness, and you enjoy it and work through it.”
Credit: Ally Green
"I don’t owe anybody a happily ever after. People break up. It happens. When it was good, it was good. When it was bad, it was terrible, hunny. I had to get the fuck up out of there. You find happiness and you enjoy it and work through it.”
With her ex, Riley was pretty outspoken about her relationship, even appearing in content for Netflix with him. This time around is different. She’s not hiding her boyfriend of eight months, but she’s more protective of him, especially because he’s a father and isn’t interested in becoming a public figure.
She’s traveling more, too. It’s a deliberate effort on her part to enjoy her money and reject the trauma she’s developed after experiencing poverty in her childhood. “I live in constant fear of being broke. I don’t think you ever don’t remember that trauma or move past that. Now I travel and I’m like, listen, if it goes, it goes. I’m not saying [to] be reckless, but I deserve to enjoy my hard work.”
After everything she’s been through, she certainly deserves to finally let loose a bit. “I have to have a life to live,” she says. “I’ve got to have a life worth fighting for.”
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In the later years of her career, after the release of her studio albums The Electric Lady in 2013 and 2018's Dirty Computer, many began to notice the shift in Monáe's artistry and fashion, which some widely praised.
Although the now 37-year-old rarely addressed the reason behind the transformation over the years, that would all change when Monáe sat down with radio personality Angie Martinez on her IRL podcast earlier this month.
During the interview, Monáe --who was promoting her latest album, "The Age of Pleasure"-- opened up about her mental health struggles, how she would cope, and why she chose to live in freedom.
Janelle On Why She Stopped Wearing Her Signature Suits All the Time
Janelle Monáe
Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images
In the May discussion, the "I Like That" vocalist revealed she suffers from anxiety, which she claimed would occur around "winter to spring."
Monáe added that when she has her bouts with anxiety, she tends to turn to food as a coping mechanism. Further in the interview, the "Lipstick Lover" singer disclosed that her emotional eating habits caused a weight fluctuation and that she could no longer fit into the suits she once wore earlier in her career.
Monáe explained that even though she tried to diet and exercise to return to her smaller figure, she ultimately stopped and made peace with herself with the help of therapy because she acknowledged that she isn't the same person she was nearly a decade ago and shouldn't try to be even if it was a highly "celebrated" version.
"I'm petite, but it can get thick... When I couldn't fit them suits anymore, and I was like, 'Oh my God, what is going on?' I would be dieting, running, or exercising, trying to fit into [it]. I'm just like, 'No. No, we're here. This is where we are.' We [are] not about to be utilizing life trying to be an old version of ourselves. No matter how celebrated that version of me was. I'm here. I'm here," she said.
Janelle On Freedom
As the topic shifted to freedom and what that meant to Monáe, the "Primetime" vocalist shared that in this new era of her life, she enjoys it because she can boldly express herself however she wants and honor who she is as a person right now.
Monáe also revealed that she had found ways to become a better artist and the best version of herself because of her freedom.
"What is the new version of freedom? What does that feel like? That's usually when I feel the most free is when artistically, I can honor exactly who I am right now," she stated. "I feel most free as a human when I can honor exactly who I am right now."
Monáe's fourth studio album, The Age of Pleasure, is set to be released on June 9.
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