'Tis the season for fashion-forward basics and I can’t get enough. Closet staples are one of the biggest trends of 2022 and I’m challenging myself to turn a simple wardrobe into a fall uniform made up of everyday essentials that combine comfort, warmth, and style. When it comes to your wardrobe this season, it’s what you buy and how you wear it that makes these timeless pieces effortlessly chicer than the rest.
Lately, I’ve been into a much more minimal aesthetic, however, I love incorporating cool designer items that add even more character to my look. With just a handful of foundational items that are extremely versatile, I believe investing in quality, comfort, and fit can easily elevate simple wardrobe staples for years to come.
Keep scrolling to see how I wear my everyday items that are far from "basic” and key to looking and feeling stylish this fall.
Look 1: White Tee + Wide Leg Trouser + Trench Coat + Chunky Boot + Mini Shopper
Oversized t-shirts have had me in a chokehold as of late, completely taking over as the main staple of my fall uniform. This season, I’ve been inclined to show less skin and achieve more comfort, challenging myself to create functional and stylish looks to go about my busy day. In addition to oversized tees, I love wide-leg trousers for just about any occasion.
For this look, I paired a men’s white t-shirt with these black satin-trimmed wide-leg Acne pants to add a cool approach to this relaxed look. Mixing high-priced items with high-quality basics can elevate a casual outfit instantly. For a wide range of options including this boxy fit, Uniqlo has a fantastic selection of affordable essentials.
Topping off this neutral look with a beige trench coat, chunky boots, and a mini Telfar shopper, I felt like the epitome of comfy chic.
Look 2: Ribbed Tank + Denim Jacket + Tennis Skirt + Ankle Boots
A ribbed tank top is another great foundational item to include in your capsule rotation. Perfect to pair underneath lightweight jackets and knits, you can layer with just about anything this fall. I love this tank from COS as it's the perfect fit and length, providing the perfect quality, comfort, and silhouette.
For this weekend look, I paired a black pleated mini skirt along with an oversized unwashed denim jacket to incorporate a couple of the season's trends. Completing this look are the infamous ankle boots by Maison Margiela that are the perfect fashion-forward designer staple.
Look 3: Cropped Button Down + Fitted Top + Leather Jacket + Pleated Midi Skirt + Knee High Boots
Another one of my favorite staples to keep on steady rotation for fall is an oversized cropped button-down. Perfect for those of us that like to mix current trends with classic styles, layering this basic is a great way to effortlessly elevate a cute and casual look. I’m currently obsessed with the late 90s/early 2000s pleated midi skirt era, so I couldn't wait to style with a few of my favorite basics.
For an overall minimal approach, I went with neutral tones along with a black leather jacket, Agolde fitted top, square-toe knee-high boots, and black Gucci frames to complete this daytime look.
Featured image by Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
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From Monogamy To Polyamory: 'I'm In An Asexual Poly Marriage With My Husband Of 7 Years'
Have you ever wondered what it's like to be asexual and in an open marriage? Relationship Coach Mikki Bey shared her first-hand experience with us as well as answered some of our burning questions.
Like a lot of people, Mikki met her now husband, Raheem Ali, online. As soon as they met, they instantly fell in love and got engaged on their first date. Just 90 days after they met, the couple tied the knot and have now been married for seven years. Raheem and Mikki aren’t your typical married couple, and despite being married for almost a decade, their marriage is anything but traditional. Mikki and Raheem have what she calls an "asexual polyamorous marriage."
Defining Her Sexuality
It wasn't until last summer that Mikki found the language to define her sexuality. "I didn't have the language for it until last summer," she explained to xoNecole. "Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing.”
Mikki always thought she was broken because she had no interest in sex. Mikki noticed after her friends came to visit and started discussing their sexual fantasies that she realized something was different about her. “At that point, I knew something was definitely different about me since I do not have sexual fantasies at all. It was truly news to me that people are at work thinking about sex! That was not my experience.” This led to Mikki researching asexuality, which she soon realized fit her to a T. “It felt like breathing new air when I was able to call it by name," said Mikki.
"Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing it."
Asexuality refers to people who experience little or no sexual attraction, experience attraction without acting on it sexually, or experience sexual attraction differently based on other factors. Like most things, asexuality falls on a spectrum and encompasses many other identities. It's important to remember, however, that attraction and action are not always synonymous: some asexuals may reject the idea of sexual contact, but others may be sex-neutral and engage in sexual activity.
It's possible that some asexuals will have sex with someone else despite not having a libido or masturbating, but others will have sex with a partner because it brings a sense of connection.
From a Traditional Marriage to Kitchen Table Polyamory
Although Mikki never really had a high sex drive, it wasn’t until after the birth of her son, that she noticed her sex drive took a real nosedive. “I never had a high sex drive, but about a year after my son was born, I realized I had zero desire. My husband has a high sex drive, and I knew that it would not be sustainable to not have sex in our marriage at that time.”
She was determined to find an alternative to divorce and stumbled upon a polyamory conversation on Clubhouse. Upon doing her own research, she brought up the idea to their husband, who was receptive. “It’s so interesting to me that people weigh sex so heavily in relationships when even if you are having a ton of sex, it’s still a very small percentage of the relationship activity," Mikki shared.
They chose polyamory because Mikki still wanted to be married, but she also wanted to make sure that Raheem was getting his individual needs and desires met, even if that meant meeting them with someone else. “I think that we have been programmed to think that our spouses need to be our 'everything.' We do not operate like that. There is no one way that fits all when it comes to relationships, despite what society may try to tell you. Their path to doing this thing called life together may be different from yours, but they found what works for them. We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us,” Mikki explained.
"We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us. We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sex partners to lifetime partners if it should go there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it."
She continued, “We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sexual partners to lifetime partners if it should get there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it. Our dynamic is parallel with kitchen table poly aspirations.”
Kitchen table polyamory (KTP) is a polyamorous relationship in which all participants are on friendly terms enough to share a meal at the kitchen table. Basically, it means you have some form of relationship with your partner’s other partner, whether as a group or individually. A lot of times, KTP relationships are highly personal and rooted in mutual respect, communication, and friendship.
Intimacy in an Asexual Polyamorous Marriage
Mikki says she and her husband, Raheem, still share intimate moments despite being in a polyamorous marriage. “Our intimacy is emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical, although non-sexual. We are intentional about date nights weekly, surprising and delighting each other daily, and most of all, we communicate our needs regularly. In my opinion, our intimacy is top-tier! I give my husband full-body massages, mani-pedis and make sure I am giving him small physical touches/kisses throughout the day. He is also very intentional about showing me his love and affection.”
Raheem and Mikki now use their lives as examples for others. On their website, thepolycouplenextdoor.com, they coach people interested in learning how to be consensually non-monogamous. “We are both relationship coaches. I specialized in emotional regulation, and Raheem specializes in communication and conflict resolution. The same tools we use in our marriage help our clients succeed in polyamory."
Mikki advises people who may be asexual or seeking non-monogamy to communicate their needs openly and to consider seeking sex therapy or intimacy coaching. Building a strong relationship with a non-sexual partner requires both empathy and compassion.
For more of Mikki, follow her on Instagram @getmikkibey. Follow the couple's platform on Instagram @thepolycouplenextdoor.
Featured image by skynesher/Getty Images