

Finding your personal style seems like an easy feat, but start the journey and you’ll soon find it overwhelming with minimal initial reward. Since style is so intricately tied to the type of person you are, it evolves and changes as you do. The uncomfortable truth is, it can take years to cultivate and perfect your personal style. But that shouldn’t stop you from honing in on what you like and replicating that in your wardrobe.
It can seem like an arduous task, especially in a trend-crazed industry like fashion, but I promise it’s not. To help start your journey, I asked four wickedly talented stylists for advice and tips on finding your personal style.
Rasheena
"My journey to my personal style began in my teenage years as an act of rebellion. I experimented with opposing colors and patterns in this stage. However, my love deepened in my college years when I was able to wear clothes other than the 'required uniform.' I fell in love with aesthetics at this stage; the grunge, preppy, urban, and chic aesthetics literally stole my heart. As I developed in life, I found that my style constantly changed based on my personality and perception of life.
"If I had to describe my style right now, I would call it freedom. I freely explore all style aesthetics that excite me while staying true to my core aesthetics, or vibe as I call it; grunge, urban, chic and preppy. My style is my safe space to explore myself as a person and online shopping is my favorite destination for exploration."
Her Top Tips for Finding Your Style:
- Identify three character traits you'd like to embody.
- Find three stores that complement your body type and style desires.
- Try on everything that makes you uncomfortable! (It may surprise you!)
Derria
"I would like to attribute finding my personal style to my grandma. I grew up spending summers with her and we would always go to the mall and shop until we were absolutely tired. She also is one of the most stylish people I know and she owns it. She always gets tons of compliments when she is out and about and I've always admired that about her. I basically followed in her footsteps when it comes to my personal style.
"Throughout my childhood and adulthood, my style changed so much. I went from wearing matching plastic jewelry and Jordans to vintage jewelry and graphic tees with my favorite flats; all the way up until now my style is comfy chic. I will most definitely be wearing sneakers but I wear what is comfortable to me. Maybe that's a skirt or a jumpsuit. Then I add my own twist or edge to it. I love my style!"
Her Top Tips for Finding Your Style:
- Wear what you want! Don't worry about what other people think. Not your friends, family, or strangers. Wear what you feel comfortable in!
- Be open to trying new trends and/or starting your own! You never know who will be inspired by your style.
- Own it. People can definitely tell when you are uncomfortable with what you're wearing. So when you drape those clothes on your skin, make sure you OWN IT.
Malak
"I've always had a love for fashion but my true journey started when I was in college. It was a time that I became more expressive in my overall appearance and how I was feeling. I just felt so liberated! I would describe my style as being a girly tomboy. I love to wear heels and dress up but I also love a good t-shirt and sneakers. After my college experience came to an end, I began to take more risks with my style. I love to play around in color, stand out, but also be effortless and relaxed when needed.
"It's funny as I am talking about it, it truly makes sense that my personal style has continued to elevate and grow as I am growing into the woman that I am called to be. My style is only an expression of who I am today: I'm bold, unique, authentic, a risk-taker, and confident. My style will only continue to evolve as I evolve in this life. I'm fully embracing change and I am not afraid to step outside of the box."
Her Top Tips for Finding Your Style:
- Be authentic, be you! God makes us one of one and you should fully embrace that there is nobody like you. Your style should reflect you and only you.
- Designer is NOT style. Fashion is trendy and style is timeless. Style is your aesthetic choices: how you pull your overall look together down to the hair and outfit of choice.
- Be a risk-taker in the way that you think about your style. I truly believe that my best work with my clients has been taking risks instead of playing it safe. When you take risks with something as simple as your outfit, you naturally become more confident.
Tiffany
"I started off wearing my sisters' hand-me-downs but knew I wanted to dress in a way that expressed specifically who I am and what I knew looked right on me. So, I began to think about my body type and the clothing pieces that complemented my frame and found stores that sold pieces that worked for me. I started experimenting and eventually found what stuck. and what best mirrored my personality! Eventually, I started studying other body types and what pieces worked for them and began my personal styling journey, helping women dress for their body types and best express themselves."
Her Top Tips for Finding Your Style:
- Hire a stylist for an expert analysis of what style best reflects your style goals.
- Ask yourself questions about how you want to present to the world, and what clothing items best make that statement.
- Explore what clothing pieces make you feel most comfortable and like yourself.
Featured image by @tiffanystyledit/Instagram
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Courtney is a contributing writer, based in Puerto Rico by way of Tennessee. Interested in the intersection of fashion and culture, she has an affinity for fashion, empowerment, and really good tacos. Keep up with her on Instagram (@hautecourtxo).
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
'When You Build It, They Can’t Tell You You Can’t Sit': DJ Miss Milan, Marsai Martin & More Talk Confidence
The Marie Claire Power Play Summit wasn’t just another branded panel event—it was an inspiring, sometimes emotional, and always honest look at what it really takes to rise, thrive, and stay at the top. From Olympians to entrepreneurs, artists to execs, the room was full of powerful women sharing the real stories behind their highlight reels. I walked away moved by their vulnerability, strength, and refusal to dim their light.
Here are some of my favorite takeaways from three standout panels featuring Jordan Chiles, Marsai Martin, and Kandi Burruss.
Leveling Up Your A-Game with Jordan Chiles, Morgan Shaw Parker, Chelsea Fishman, Laura Correnti, and Tabitha Turner-Wilkins
Jordan Chiles
Paras Griffin/ Getty Images for Power Play
Olympic gymnast Jordan may have medals and magazine covers to her name, but her mindset is refreshingly grounded. “The day I finally feel pressure,” she said, “will be the day I know there’s still more for me to learn.” For her, joy—not pressure—is the fuel. Her confidence isn’t performative; it’s rooted in family, self-worth, and authenticity.
“Everything I’ve done in my career—tattoos, long nails, rocking my crew at the Olympics—that’s all me. It’s not because someone told me to do it. It’s because I felt confident doing it. And that’s where my ambition comes from: being my authentic self.”
For Morgan Shaw Parker, President & COO of the Atlanta Dream, the conversation around pressure went even deeper. “Legacy work” is how she described her mission—navigating male-dominated spaces, sometimes pregnant and pumping on NFL team planes. “After COVID and George Floyd,” she shared, “it became clear to me: vulnerability is power. You don’t have to show up perfect to lead.”
Chelsea Fishman, founder of Atlanta's first bar dedicated to women’s sports, Jolene Jolene, shared how the haters (especially the Reddit kind) were her confirmation: “All those comments saying it would fail—those were the signs that I was doing something right.” She’s hosted 25+ watch parties already and is building the very community they said would never come.
This panel also touched on ambition, authenticity, and owning your power—both in sneakers and in suits. One of the best mic-drop moments came when the moderator flipped the question: “What if we stopped making ‘power’ a bad word for women?” A nod-worthy reminder that we’re not here to play small.
Making Your Voice Heard with Marsai Martin, Carol Martin, Miss Milan, and Heather McMahan
Marsai Martin
Paras Griffin/ Getty Images for Power Play
This panel was a masterclass in staying grounded while growing up—or glamming up—on the global stage. Actress and producer Marsai talked about what it’s like to show up in high-pressure moments when your confidence is low but the world is still watching. From red carpets to long shoot days, she reminded us that even when you’re not at 100%, you still find a way to push through.
“There have been days where I wasn’t feeling the best, but I still had to show up on this carpet. Or it was that time of the month, but I still had to go on set. I just didn’t feel as confident—but it’s about how you take care of yourself in those moments and still keep pushing.”
Her mom and business partner Carol Martin dropped gems about motherhood and mentorship: “It’s like teaching your kid to ride a bike over and over again. Now the bike is a movie or a brand.” That balance between guiding and letting go? Not easy—but essential when you’re raising a mogul and running a company.
“There have been days where I wasn’t feeling the best, but I still had to show up on this carpet. Or it was that time of the month, but I still had to go on set. I just didn’t feel as confident—but it’s about how you take care of yourself in those moments and still keep pushing.”
Miss Milan, Grammy Award-winning DJ and Doechii’s right-hand woman, lit the crowd up with her no-nonsense energy. “I built my own table,” she said. “When you build it, they can’t tell you you can’t sit.” From journaling her dreams to manifesting Grammys, her story is one of resilience and intention—and a whole lot of faith in her own vision.
This panel didn’t shy away from hard truths either: the sadness that can come with success, the fear of fading relevance, the criticism that hits differently when it’s personal. But Marsai said it best: know your why. And let it evolve with you.
The Cost of Starting Your Own Business with Kandi Burruss and Nikki Ogunnaike
Kandi Burruss
Carol Lee Rose/ Getty Images for Marie ClaireKandi doesn’t sugarcoat the grind. From chart-topping songwriter to multi-business entrepreneur, she’s built her empire one risk—and one reinvention—at a time.
“Fear equals failure. If you don’t even try, you’ve failed automatically —and you did it to yourself. I’d rather take a risk and lose money than play it safe and never know what could’ve happened.”
She broke down the real costs of entrepreneurship: money, time, and emotional bandwidth. “You think you’re going to work less when you work for yourself?” she laughed. “You’re going to work more.” For Kandi, mommy guilt and financial setbacks are part of the package—but so is the satisfaction of seeing an idea through.
She opened up about scaling back on her clothing store and temporarily closing the original Old Lady Gang location. “It felt like failure,” she admitted, “but sometimes you have to step back to make things better.” Still, she’s not one to quit. She just pivots—with precision.
One of her most memorable reflections? How her music career hiccup led her to songwriting—ultimately writing the mega-hit “No Scrubs.” That song became the key to a new lane and legacy. “You may think you’re working on one dream,” she said, “but it could open the door to another.”
Also? Kandi wants you to stop emailing her from a Gmail. “You’re doing million-dollar business on a bootleg budget,” she joked. “Invest in yourself. Start with a domain name!”
The Marie Claire Power Play Summit was a powerful reminder that ambition, authenticity, and vulnerability aren’t separate traits—they work in tandem. Whether you’re building a bar, a brand, or a business from scratch, the key is to stay rooted in your voice, your story, and your why.
And if you need a sign to go for it? Consider this your green light.
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Feature image by Paras Griffin/ Getty Images for Power Play