Syleena Johnson's greatest instrument is her voice and has recognized her passion for music since her earliest childhood memories. With a father who was in the entertainment industry as a singer, music was part of her life from an early age and eventually blossomed into her participating in talent shows and showing the world what she was meant to do. "I just finished filming my UNSUNG episode which will premiere on TVOne early 2021 and that will tell the readers a lot about my story and how I began. I am excited for you to see it. It will show you how I got my start in the industry and how I got to where I am now," she spilled to xoNecole about her upcoming project.
As a singer, she has used her voice and songs to uplift women and Black people, but now as a talk show host on Cocktails and Queens on Fox Soul, Syleena is using her voice to empower Black women to demand respect and equality on the other side of the couch. "I am still and will always be a part of music," the former Sister Circle host told me about her transition into being a talk show host, "However, opportunities and God have allowed me to become a talk show host and share my opinions and thoughts as a woman in this world and in entertainment."
Nowadays in her career, Syleena can apply the multitude of lenses to her craft from the talent side to research and development as the interviewer. When she's not on the couch interviewing talent or in the booth making new empowerment anthems, the "Guess What" singer has been working on her latest docuseries project, The Making of a Woman, which was heavily inspired by her recently released Woman album.
Courtesy of Tony Tyus Photography
"This docuseries will show what my experience as a Black woman has been in this industry for over 20 years as well as being a working-class woman, a wife and a mother raising two sons. It will inspire people to see the challenges Black women face on a day-to-day basis and how we overcome it," she explained. "I wanted to show a message and present that in a body of work to create more of a conversation and a call-to-action. I've realized in order to make change, we must create content or use our voice to make a shift in change in our society."
xoNecole had the opportunity to catch up with the Grammy-nominated singer herself about using her voice to uplift women, her new docuseries The Making of a Woman, and being a Black woman in 2020 demanding equal rights in our current racial climate. Check out our conversation below.
xoNecole: Tell me about your docuseries, 'The Making Of A Woman', the messaging and the inspiration behind it.
Syleena Johnson: The docuseries The Making of a Woman is heavily inspired by my recent album, Woman. Each of my albums as a solo artist have been titled after chapters, however with today's racial climate I decided to create the album and docuseries to speak on the struggles and experiences of everyday Black women and what we go through in life in 2020. I created this docuseries to vocally create a body of work that documented the journey of what it took to create this album, mentally, internally and spiritually while sharing the experiences of what women go through like demanding equality and respect, having a voice to even having to work twice as hard as our male counterparts even through pain and adversity.
How does your new studio album, ‘Woman’, directly correlate with the story that you're telling us in the docuseries?
It's my journey, my thoughts and what I and many women endure as a Black woman in society as well as this industry. You'll see me on my journey of completing my album and shooting the video to my lead single off my new album. You'll see the vision that I had to want to highlight how beautiful and special women are. The docuseries speaks on dishonesty, respect and the many examples of inequality Black women face while showing the process of creating a body of work that shares the same message.
How are both releases timely considering our current racial climate?
Right now, we are in the year of the WOMAN. We have a Black woman that is working tirelessly to be the next Vice President of the United States. Black women are on the front lines organizing, protesting and leading the forefront of creating change for our economy and the futures of our next generation. Considering our current climate, both releases vocally tells a story that we still have work to do and are still fighting for respect in 2020. With both releases of my album and docuseries, I wanted to use what I've been seeing in situations like the #MeToo and Time's Up movement, and use my voice and passion in music to be a vessel for other women's stories and journeys.
What do you define as the makings of a woman?
The makings of a woman is the willingness of a woman to grow despite her flaws, despite her mistakes, despite her circumstances and her setbacks in life. The ingredients of the makings of a woman is built up of all the little experiences that you had and how you've handled them and most importantly learned from them. These are the certain experiences you must endure in life to come into your womanhood while helping you grow as a woman.
Courtesy of Tony Tyus Photography
"The makings of a woman is the willingness of a woman to grow despite her flaws, despite her mistakes, despite her circumstances and her setbacks in life. The ingredients of the makings of a woman is built up of all the little experiences that you had and how you've handled them and most importantly learned from them."
When do you feel the most "womanly" or the most beautiful as a woman?
I feel the most womanly when I am being a mother to my sons, when I am being a wife. Always working or in business mode does not make me feel like a woman, it makes me tired. I feel more womanly when I can have peace, when I can have "girl time" for myself. I feel the "womanliest" when I can be appreciated and when I am treated like a woman. I feel womanly when I can be heard and valued. More than anything, I feel the "womanliest" when I can operate as a mom and wife without having to be the authoritative figure. When you are a CEO and an entrepreneur you are the authoritative figure but when I come into my household I can relax without having to be the authoritative figure all the time because I have support.
"I feel the most womanly when I am being a mother to my sons, when I am being a wife. Always working or in business mode does not make me feel like a woman, it makes me tired. I feel more womanly when I can have peace, when I can have 'girl time' for myself. I feel the 'womanliest' when I can be appreciated and when I am treated like a woman. I feel womanly when I can be heard and valued."
What is the moment in your life when you believed that you were coming into your own as a woman?
That moment for me was when I got the diagnosis that my youngest son had autism. I developed a level of selflessness that had to take place mentally and emotionally in order for me to grow as a woman. Something like that is supposed to take me out of here and it did, however what that diagnosis did was made me come into my womanhood, turn up my senses as a mother, as a provider. I had to turn up those senses and it made me develop my own personal internal growth spurt. This has allowed me to grow into my womanhood and has taught me to be more patient overall in life. That moment and many life lessons made me understand and be OK with me, unapologetically. It allowed me to love me for who I am and become appreciative of being OK with not being perfect.
There are a lot of conversations around gender and sex. What do you see is the difference between femininity and womanhood, if there is one at all?
What I've learned throughout my own experiences in life is that femininity is a characteristic. Womanhood is a state of mind. Whereas a woman doesn't have to be any of those feminine qualities, and still be a boss, knowing who she is, having a voice, understanding her worth - those are the things that encompass womanhood. Femininity is a characteristic, an accessory. Anyone can be feminine, however it is a characteristic that is interchangeable, whereas womanhood is a growth process, state of mind. A state of being.
Courtesy of Tony Tyus Photography
"What I've learned throughout my own experiences in life is that femininity is a characteristic. Womanhood is a state of mind. Femininity is a characteristic, an accessory. Anyone can be feminine, however it is a characteristic that is interchangeable, whereas womanhood is a growth process, state of mind. A state of being."
For Black womanhood, what do you believe makes Black women the most powerful and most majestic?
Resilience, our humility, our hearts have made us majestic. The fact that we've endured so much from the test of times has made us extremely powerful and majestic. We are resilient, durable, sustainable. We are smart, we are vociferous, brilliant, studious, meticulous, but we are kind, careful, and multi-layered.
How would you say that you've grown as a singer-songwriter since you first started in the music industry?
I have grown tremendously since coming into the industry and my writing has grown and evolved. I have a different and new sound. I've grown as a woman so I can't stay in the same frame of mind as my other albums. When you're saying different things, you have to stretch out and grow. And that's where I've improved as an artist and singer since first being introduced in the industry.
Being a Black woman in the industry is tough, especially when you're in the spotlight as an artist. How do you manage your mental health and how can the music industry do a better job at protecting Black women?
I manage my mental health by working out and doing stress reduction activities. I am really into fitness and bodybuilding. It allows me to be focused and gain mental clarity. I am also an advocate and use therapy as an outlet to manage my mental health. I have recently embarked on a fitness journey where I competed in a fitness bodybuilding competition which totally improved and helped with my mental health. I was able to not only transform physically losing over 55 pounds but was also able to grow internally within the process.
The music industry can do a better job protecting Black women. The most important thing they can do is listen to Black women. We are not objects. We are not possessions. Listen to Black women and see how they feel, ask are you being heard and valued? Are you being treated fairly? That is how you can protect Black women by listening and valuing us.
If you listen, you learn.
For more of Syleena, follow her on Instagram.
Featured image courtesy of Tony Tyus Photography
RELATED
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
It’s not like it has to be a bad thing. In fact, studies say that somewhere around 15 percent of engaged couples actually met through a friend. All I’m saying is, before you entertain someone’s “I’ve got someone I want you to meet” invitation, it would benefit you to interview them first — for the sake of all parties involved.
The questions that I recommend asking? The following six are what I think can get everyone on the same page, so that there is more pleasure than regret from the hook-up attempt.
1. Why Are They So Invested?
GiphyTwo things that I recently watched over again are the series Survivor’s Remorse (the writing is so damn good) and a movie called Trapped in Temptation (both are currently on Tubi). Something that both of them made me think about is the fact that motive reveals a lot when it comes to why people say and do the things that they do.
When it comes to the movie, specifically, without giving the film away — let me just say that, if you are in a relationship, be really careful about listening to individuals who try to talk you out of maintaining it. More times than not, the motive is shady as hell. And honestly, sometimes people who are close to obsessed with you being in one deserve a bit of side-eye too.
Now, if it’s someone who loves all things love, they are in love and they want you to experience something similar — that’s sweet. Just make sure that they are approaching the set up from a healthy space. What I mean by that is they don’t see singleness as some sort of relational handicap or they aren’t trying to override what you want for your life as if they somehow know better (there are so many ways to be a control freak, y’all).
Hmph. Now that I think about it — make sure that the set-up crew isn’t trying to use you to “save” some male friend or relative of theirs. I say that because I once knew a mother whose son had — count ‘em — 10 kids and she was FOREVER trying to get me to date him. Girl, that wasn’t for me. She was looking for a Holy Ghost Jr. for that child of hers. I’ll pass. HARD PASS.
Bottom line with this one — if someone wants to set you up with someone else, the first thing to ask is why? Make sure to really listen to what their answer is. Then pay attention to if your mind, body and spirit are at peace with their answer(s).
2. Do They Know What You Want?
GiphyI don’t know about y’all, but the people (and let’s be honest, by far, it’s usually women) who have tried to set me up with someone? They didn’t even know what my preferences or type was. Hell, they didn’t even know my thoughts or timeline as it relates to being in a serious relationship were either. And what that boils down to is they were trying to hook me up based on their agenda, not mine — and that usually meant that the guys who they came up with? Yeah…I was good on them. LOL.
Yeah, if someone wants to hook you up, you definitely should ask them if they know what you are looking for in a guy when it comes to his looks, personality, passions, spirituality, relational desires and goals, location, etc. Because, indeed, what is the point in going out with someone who is fine as hell and yet, you want kids and he doesn’t (or vice versa) or who has a great personality yet he isn’t even in the same ballpark of your spiritual beliefs?
If your friend really wants to help you out, valuing your time should come with that — and that means bringing someone into your life who complements your lifestyle. No wiggle room here.
3. Are They Aware of Your Deal-Breakers?
GiphyLast year, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “Should Bad Sex Actually Be A Relationship Deal-Breaker?” The thing that I think needs to go on record about deal-breakers is they aren’t exactly standards that you have. No, a deal-breaker is something that can’t be worked out even after trying to negotiate or compromise. When it comes to relationships, a deal-breaker might be how long two people should date before becoming exclusive or getting engaged. Another deal-breaker might be if being religious is more important than being spiritual and how that manifests itself (church or no church, etc.). And yes, another deal-breaker may be what each other’s sexual needs and expectations are.
When someone is setting you up, it is imperative that they know about your standards. For instance, for me, I am not interested in dating a divorced person, pretty much ever (I Corinthians 7:10-11). I’ve had friends who have tried to hook me up with that demographic before and it has always been a moot effort. The fact that some of them have gotten frustrated with my convictions has absolutely nothing to do with me. Some have tried to get me to compromise my deal-breakers too — like a long-distance relationship. Is it a firm “naw”? No. However, it’s not really something that I am interested in, so why not just…recommend someone local?
Yeah, if someone thinks that they know you well enough to hook you up, they absolutely should be well-versed in what your deal-breakers are before they do. And if they’ve never asked, all they are doing is assuming — and we know what that typically means. LOL.
4. What Is Their Track Record?
GiphyIt’s kind of wild that we now live in a time when more couples meet online than they do through “old-fashioned ways” like via their friends (although some reports say that Gen Z is getting back to that) — and yet, here we are. Still, if you are willing to let someone play pseudo matchmaker in your life, you are well within your rights to inquire about their track record in that department. Have they hooked others up, successfully, before? Has any of their “Cupid work” caused both people to get exactly what they wanted out of the situation? If/when things went awry, why was that?
I know someone who is constantly trying to hook people up. Thing is, maybe 10-15 percent (no joke) of their efforts have proven to be positive and fruitful — and we’re talking about close to close to two decades of them doing it. Listen, time is too precious to be out here doing stuff ONLY to please other people. That said, if someone wants you to devote some time to one of their grand ideas, you are well within your rights to ask about their past and current success score when it comes to it.
5. Can They Keep Their Own Feelings Out of It?
GiphyWanna know if someone who is offering to do something for you is actually doing it more for themselves? If they try to make it be about them when things don’t go the way they would like, that is a dead ringer. An example? They post a message about you on social media and then question you about why you didn’t do the same thing in return. Another example? They do something for you and then throw it in your face during an argument. Still another example? They set you up with someone, it doesn’t work out, and suddenly you’ve put them in a weird spot. No dear — you put your own self in that position by trying to hook two people up in the first place.
I promise you, it will spare everyone unnecessary energy spent (or even drama experienced) if, before you agree to be hooked up, you get the matchmaker on record stating that they will keep their emotions out of it as much as possible. MEANING — they will do the introductions and then let the chips fall where they may. If they can’t do this, my two cents (save it or spend it) would be to decline the offer. Because all you need is someone texting you about why you haven’t called their cousin back or having an attitude with you when you break up with some guy at their church who they thought was the perfect catch (P.S. These aren’t hypothetical examples — LOL).
6. Will They Respect Your Boundaries? Start to Finish?
GiphyYeah, this final one is a biggie. Just because someone sets you up with another person, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily mean that they should have the right to the details of the dynamic. I don’t care if it’s the first date or the 10th date. I don’t care if you decide to just be sex buddies or to have a full-blown relationship. I don’t care if you stay together or break-up — it’s your relationship which makes it your business. Whatever you share is privileged data.
Yeah, I would say that probably the most challenging thing about being hooked up by someone you know is they have a tendency to think that they are a part of the relationship too — and that is a lie. If things go well beyond a couple of dates, you and the guy should discuss what you will both share with the person who introduced you and then agree to stick to that boundary, no matter what. It’s a great way to protect the dynamic, to keep “outside voices” from influencing the growth and to navigate how you want to move, moving forward.
Someone who hooked you up for the right reasons and knows how to honor limits? They will understand. Will they ask questions? Absolutely. Will they pry? Nah.
___
Should you sit and let someone hook you up? I mean, you never know how your blessing will come. Just make sure that they are prepared for you to do some digging into their mindset before they start sweetly meddling into your love life.
It’s only fair. Hell, and right. LOL.
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Featured image by PeopleImages/Shutterstock