
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it dozens of times. New Year’s Resolutions don’t really move me because, it is my personal belief that, if you really want to change your life, why are you relying on 1/1 to do it? Whatever shifts and pivots you want to make, do it now. RIGHT NOW. So, with that being out of the way, the title of this article, I must admit, is probably more clickbait than anything else. Because I think that we all can agree that our vagina deserves for us to be fully resolved, each and every day, to give it the TLC that it truly deserves. Whether it’s January, June or October…it needs to happen.
Still, if you’re someone who knows that, beyond daily bathing, you don’t really think of what your vagina needs from you in order to remain at its best, here are 10 strictly vagina-related resolutions that you should make…just as soon as you possibly can.
1. I Will Take a Daily Probiotic
Here’s the thing about your vagina — there is a lot of good bacteria inside of it and there can sometimes be quite a bit of bad bacteria in it too. When the bad outweighs the good, that can result in a yeast infection or a bout of bacterial vaginosis — and listen, if you’ve never had either before, count your lucky stars because it is nothing close to being a pleasant experience. What can help to prevent both of these from occurring is taking a daily probiotic. Not only do all of the good bacteria in probiotics help to protect your gut and vaginal health, but they can also stabilize the pH balance of your vagina too.
If you’ve never taken a probiotic before and you’re not sure where to start looking for the brand that is right for you, Medical News Today published “8 of the best probiotics for females” that can help you out. Also, foods that contain probiotics include fermented ones like dill pickles and kefir as well as mozzarella and cheddar cheeses (pickled veggies count as fermented foods too, by the way). My personal fave is the Lifeway Kefir brand. It basically tastes like drinking flavored yogurt.
2. I Will Get New Panties Every Six Months
Yeeeeeah, I’m willing to bet some pretty good money that you’ve got a few drawers that have had at least one birthday at this point. Let’s try and leave that in 2021, shall we? Because the reality is that, in order for your vagina to maintain optimal health, it’s best to get new panties every six months (check out “When Should You Replace Underwear, Make-Up, Bedding, Washcloths & Towels?”). Otherwise, fecal matter, germs, and other “stuff” could irritate your vagina and cause an infection. Also, make sure that a lot of your new stash is made out of (organic) cotton. Your vagina is naturally warm and moist (which is a good thing); your underwear needs to be made out of a fabric that will help “her” to “breathe” because of it.
3. I Will Use a Lavender Oil/Coconut Oil Blend to Reduce Bacterial Infections
When it comes to what you put into your vagina, it really needs to be nothing other than tampons and/or a menstrual cup, penises, and (as directed) sex toys. On the cleaning tip, NOTHING should go inside because your vagina is self-cleaning. That said, if you’re someone who has an irritated or itchy vulva (the outer part of your vagina), it can be soothing to apply a blend of lavender essential oil and coconut oil.
Lavender oil is great because its potent antiseptic and anti-inflammatory properties, along with its calming ability, can help to soothe inflamed vaginal tissues and even keep vaginitis and certain kinds of candida (which can lead to yeast infections) at bay. As far as coconut oil goes, the properties in it are ones that the strain of yeast Candida albicans absolutely can’t stand. So, adding a couple of drops of lavender oil to ¼ cup of coconut oil and rubbing it onto the OUTER PARTS (yes, I am yelling that; essential oils ain’t nothin’ to play with!) of your vagina can bring relief and keep it smelling great simultaneously.
4. I Will Consume More Plant Fatty Acids
A term that is interchangeable with plant fatty acids is omega-3 fatty acids. These are good for your vaginal and reproductive health overall because they help to increase blood circulation, can reduce the amount of menstrual cramping that you experience, and can help to prevent vaginal dryness (check out “Here's How To Increase Vaginal Lubrication. Naturally.”) too. Foods that are high in these kinds of acids include avocados, olives, walnuts, pumpkin seeds, flaxseeds, Brussels sprouts, and kidney beans.
Or you can always take an omega-3 supplement. (Speaking of supplements for your vaginal well-being, I promise you something that has changed my entire life is evening primrose oil. One day, I might do an entire article that’s devoted to it. For now, you can read more about why it’s good for your vaginal and reproductive health here.)
5. I Will Eat Less Sugar
As far as your vagina goes, two ways that sugar can negatively impact your vagina is 1) it can trigger inflammation and 2) it gives bad bacteria and yeast something to “feed” off of. So, if you want to go into this year with fewer concerns as far as getting a yeast infection goes, definitely consume less sugar. It’s not only a good move as far as your vagina is concerned but a smart move all the way around (check out “Ever Wonder If You've Got A Low-Key Sugar Addiction?”).
6. I Will Take an Official Skin Test
If you’re not in an exclusive relationship and/or you don’t want to get pregnant and/or you don’t want to use another form of birth control, condoms are the way to go — there’s no way around that. That said, if a part of the reason why they bother you so much is that they have a way of irritating your vagina, the first thing I recommend that you do is read “Allergic To Condoms? Try This.”
If after doing so, you suspect that an allergy to latex is exactly what you’ve got going on, the only way that you’re going to know for sure is if you take a skin test and you’ll need to go to the doctor for that. If that is indeed the case, don’t use that as an excuse to go all rogue. There are latex alternatives as you probably noticed via the article that I just cited. Use them.
7. I Will Groom My Pubic Hair Instead of Completely Removing It
Pubic hair doesn’t exist for no reason. It’s what helps to keep debris and other irritants from disturbing your vagina. That’s why it really is best to keep some down that way rather than removing it altogether. Now that doesn’t mean that you’ve gotta be looking like a 70s porn flick or anything. As someone who gets my bikini line waxed on a consistent basis, I am amazed by all of the creative things that can be done with pubes. Which reminds me — an article that can help to give you some inspiration is “Yep. Pubic Hair Has Trends (And Specific Needs) Too.” You’re welcome.
8. I Will Change My Underwear Twice a Day, If Need Be
Let’s be honest — the main purpose of underwear is to keep vaginal fluids 'n stuff from getting onto our clothes. That said, though, they serve a really vital purpose. Thing is, aside from the fact that a lot of people keep panties well past their shelf life, another mistake that folks make is thinking that they only need to wear one pair of undies, no matter what.
Here’s the thing about that — if you exercise, sweat a lot or you have times of the month when there is more discharge than normal, it’s perfectly OK (recommended even) that you change your panties twice a day. That way, your vagina can remain comfortable and dry and your chances of an infection or her feeling irritated will decrease, substantially so.
9. I Will Stay Away from the “Fancy Stuff”
Again, your vagina is self-cleaning and honestly, the skin of your vulva tends to lean towards the sensitive side, so all of the commercial brands that simply try and get you to spend more money — avoid those bad boys. Water and super mild (unscented soap) can get the job done as far as cleaning your vagina is concerned. Or you can make your own vaginal wash (check out “Love On Yourself With These 7 All-Natural DIY Vaginal Washes”) or hop on sites like Etsy for companies that make all-natural washes. Go to the site and put “natural vaginal washes” in the search field.
10. I Will At Least Use a Menstrual Cup on the Last Day of My Period
This is definitely my own personal hack but chile, it works! If you’ve ever wondered why/if your period smells a bit like death, it’s because there is a combination of blood and bacteria (and even a little bit of uterine tissue) that’s coming out of your vagina. The bacteria can be a bit more concentrated towards the end of your cycle which can irritate your vagina and vulva for a couple of days following your period if you’re not careful.
The reason why I know all of this is because it used to happen to me. That is until I started using a menstrual cup and made sure that I wore it, even the day following the “official” last day of my period. Doing this catches the residual bacterial fluid which prevents my vagina and vulva from getting irritated.
It’s one of the best things I’ve discovered in a long time.
11. I Will Sleep Naked
It’s been quite some time since I’ve gone to bed with any clothes on (shoot, I work from home, so I’m barely dressed during the daytime hours too) and when it comes to my vagina, I can see how much she has benefitted from it. Because it’s not uncommon for heat and moisture to increase during nighttime hours (because of being under sheets and blankets and because our body temperature changes throughout the night), sleeping naked increases ventilation to your vaginal region, so that you decrease the chances of irritation and infection. If you haven’t been doing it, start now.
12. I Will Keep a Vagina Journal
Making sure that your vagina has what it needs is a bit of a tightrope. That’s why I think it’s a good idea to keep a vagina journal. No, it’s not something that you need to write in every day; it’s just something to help you to keep track of when it comes to signs that your vagina may be stressed (check out “Ever Wonder If Your Vagina Is Stressed TF Out?”), how often you may be getting infections (so that you know when to use home remedies or so your doctor) and what may or may not be working as it relates to your vaginal care health regimen. Keeping up with your vagina’s needs can only help you to take care of her better.
Hey, she does a really good job of taking care of you (right?), so why not return the favor? Amen? Amen.
Featured image by Getty Images
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This Is How To Keep 'Holiday Season Stress' From Infecting Your Relationship
Hmph. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there is something really weird happening in the fall season air (because winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21) that cuddle season is in full swing while break-up season is as well. In fact, did you know that break-ups are so popular during the holiday season that December 11 is deemed Break-Up Day?
The reasons why relationships shift around this time vary; however, I did both roll my eyes and chuckle when I read that a very popular one is because it’s an easy way to get out of getting one’s significant other a Christmas present. SMDH.
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Whew. Did you know that somewhere around 122 million Americans travel during the holiday season? Listen, I went to see my godbabies this past September and got caught up in a crazy ass traffic jam at BNA (the Nashville airport) that damn near has me considering air travel ever again — especially during this time of the year.
Besides, it’s not like it’s a written rule that you have to travel over the holidays. In fact, if you want to play it chill this year, why not enjoy a staycation instead? Although it might seem like it’s a “poor man’s compromise,” as you’re about to see, it actually…isn’t.
1. Go All Out with the Christmas Décor
GiphyThere is someone I know who is so obsessed with Christmas, she’s damn near annoying-borderline-terrifying. I’m. Not. Kidding. Yet hey, if you’re going to do a holiday-themed staycation (emphasis on “holiday-themed”), that’s kind of how you’ve got to be. Some décor ideas include:
- A fresh Christmas tree (is the most ideal) that is ultimately decorated
- Wreaths on outside and inside doors
- Garland (with twinkle lights) in predictable and unpredictable places
- Poinsettias
- Mistletoes
- Snow globes
- A stocking (with some of your favorite things in it)
- Fake snow
- Stars
- Angels
- Candy canes
- A BLACK Santa (LOL)
I mean, since you are going to be spending a lot of time at home, it can feel like a mini-winter wonderland if you are intentional about doing more decorating to your living space than you ever have before!
2. Buy a Couple of Christmas-Themed PJs
GiphyWhile I was doing some research on a totally different topic, I happened upon an article that talked about the psychology behind why we should be intentional about what we wear to bed. When you stop to think about the fact that (hopefully) you are sleeping somewhere between 6-8 hours every night, it would make sense that things like the color and fabric of your sleepwear would have a real impact on you — even subconsciously.
Well, when it comes to Christmas décor, specifically, not only does it take you back to nostalgic memories, it can also boost your moods. So, aside from being on-10 with your Christmas décor, also invest in some Christmas-themed PJs. Since you’re going to be doing a lot of lounging around (RIGHT?), do it in something that makes you think about all of your favorite things about this time of year.
3. Cop Some Christmas-Scented Candles
GiphyThere really is no telling how many articles that I’ve written where I am singing the praises of scented soy candles. Candles are soothing, comforting and a very easy way to reduce stress. Also, since it gets darker quicker and for a longer period of time around this time of the year, candles provide a relaxing vibe to your home. Since it is Christmastime, go with scents that are reminiscent of the season:
- Cinnamon
- Vanilla
- Cranberry
- Apple
- Pine
- Frankincense and Myrrh
- Peppermint
- Cashmere
- Ginger(bread)
- Orange
- Sugar Cookies
- Sandalwood
- Cloves
- Cedarwood
- (Hot) Chocolate
Personally, one of my favorite candle companies is Goose Creek. Their signature collections will have your entire house smelling like a high-end bakery. No exaggeration.
4. Play Some Winter-Themed ASMR Sounds
GiphyI’m from Nebraska and my mother was a New Yorker. So, if there is one thing that I like, it’s seasons and that includes snow during wintertime. Unfortunately, Nashville is cray-cray when it comes to that. If, where you live, the weather is all over the place too (which is why I think it’s insane that some people still give pushback to global warming) and you would like for it to at least seem like you are in your own winter wonderland — invest in some fake snow to strategically place around your home.
Oh, and don’t forget to turn on some winter-themed ASMR sounds too. YouTube has videos that run for hours on end that feature blizzards and howling winds that really can make you feel like you are in the midst of an ice storm.
5. Host a Holiday Movie Marathon
GiphyOne thing to remember about a staycation is it doesn’t mean that you have to be alone or that the only people who can participate are the ones who live with you. Since a staycation is simply about staying close to home instead of traveling afar — absolutely consider having some of your favorite people over for a holiday-themed movie marathon. Shoot, Black America Web even did you a solid by publishing “25 Best Black Christmas Movies Of All Time;” plus, Tubi has a Black holiday hits section of indie films too.
Oh, and make sure to get creative with the Christmas-themed snacks. Some ideas? Some Kentucky-fried turkey tenders with cranberry hot sauce (recipe here), some Holiday Hot Spinach Dip (recipe here), some Grinch Kabobs (recipe here), some roasted pecans (recipe here) and some Pomegranate Guacamole (recipe here).
6. Spend a Night (or Two) at a Hotel or Vacation House
GiphyJust like you don’t have to be alone during a staycation, you also don’t have to be cooped up in your house the entire time. Get a change of scenery in your own city by spending the night in a hotel that you’ve always wanted to try out or renting a vacation house for you and some of your folks to hang out in during the time between Christmas and New Year’s Day. I have a “love little sister” who does this randomly when she needs a break from her work as a therapist. She says that it’s damn near like taking a trip (and she has PLENTY of passport stamps; trust me).
7. Have Brunch or Dinner at a Christmas-Themed Restaurant
GiphyIf nothing puts a bigger smile on your face than the thought of DoorDashing meals and barely even touching your stove during your staycation — hey, I am right there with you. Do consider going out to brunch or dinner during your chill time, though. It’s another way to bond with people and create some current holiday memories. And if you’ve got a bae and you opt for dinner, it can be a wonderful type of Christmas-themed date.
8. Go to a Holiday-Themed Concert
GiphyBeing that I got my start as an entertainment writer, hear me when I say that I’m not someone who just has to go to a live concert every chance that I get. Oh, but baby, when I saw that El DeBarge was doing a City Winery tour and he was going to be here right before Christmas — I booked myself a ticket quick, fast and in a super-duper hurry! Shoot, I didn’t even want to go with someone because I plan to give him and that falsetto voice of his my complete and undivided attention. LOL.
I don’t know what it is about the holiday season that makes live music that much more enjoyable — but if there is a concert that features one of your favorite artists happening right through here, consider that to be a cool way to “tour your city” while cultivating a really awesome memory at the same time.
9. Also, Go Ice Skating
GiphyOne of my fondest memories of time with my father is going ice skating. We actually would do it in the summer (because that is when I would visit him) and, every year, he would get me a new ice skating outfit. Even now, when I watch someone ice skate (even in movies; like in the classic movie Garden State), I will have warm fuzzies.
Anyway, if you’ve never been before, go. If it’s been forever since you have, also go. There is something that is very sweet and so signature Christmas about it. Plus, it’s a top-tier form of exercise.
10. Take a Christmas Lights Tour
GiphyAnother one of my favorite Christmas memories is driving through neighborhoods and looking at the Christmas lights. And just like a Christmas concert can be a form of hometown touring, so can doing this if you decide to choose a couple of areas where you’ve never really been or rarely frequent.
Now are you excited about the thought of experiencing a holiday-themed staycation?
I thought you would be. ENJOY!
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