You’ve probably heard that the beauty industry is a staggering $90 billion one (that’s annually). However, what you may not know is, reportedly, folks spend close to $750 a year on their products. I mean, based on your own budget, that might not be much to you yet as someone who knows that preparing for retirement is closer now than my college days were at this point, that’s pretty steep to me, especially since I know that, easily half of what I currently have on the skincare and hair care tip, I barely even use.
Me? Aside from the products that I try in order to create content (that’s free stuff and also why I have so much of it), I gave up being a product junkie years ago. It was hard, yet it was also hella liberating. It freed up space. It freed up money. And it helped me to focus on what I know my skin and hair need as opposed to what the industry tries to cram down my throat.
So, why is my mission what it is today? If the beauty world is making billions, of course, they’re gonna try and sell you everything under the sun. Yet if you want to only purchase what will be truly effective for you this year so that you can keep some space and some coins, here are some tips that fully freed me from the bondage of always digging underneath my bathroom sink and knocking stuff over, only to be pissed as I cleaned it up (if ya know, ya know).
1.Learn Your Actual Skin and Hair Texture
GiphyThe benefit of being in the information age with internet access to boot is there is so much intel that’s readily at your disposal (which is why I don’t get how so many debates about opinions happen on social media when you can just open up a browser and find the facts). The challenge is sometimes there’s so much stuff to learn about that it can become super overwhelming. And honestly, I think that’s how a lot of us end up becoming product junkies in the first place. There’s one influencer on IG who says her skin is bomb due to one product, while someone on TikTok guarantees a totally different product will give you the same outcome.
And don’t even get me started on how many debates naturalistas have on YouTube about what works well on their hair vs. what doesn’t. If you try and take everyone’s opinion into account, you can easily look up and have two cabinets that are filled with stuff that you either don’t use or don’t like. *le sigh*
What’s my suggestion? Well, something that I did that helped me to get some of my cabinet space back was really figuring out what my own skin and hair texture was before making another purchase — and that alone totally changed the game. Because the reality is, someone can say that a particular product gave them flawless skin, yet if their skin type is dry and yours is oily, it could end up doing your own skin more harm than good.
So, what if you have no clue what your skin or hair type actually is? Sites like Skin Type Solutions (quiz is here), Ask the Scientists (quiz is here), and even Sephora (quiz is here) have online tests that you can take as far as your skin goes. YouTubers like Angela C. Styles (here) and Daye La Soul (here) can help you learn more about your hair type and texture. I super appreciate LaToya Ebony Hair’s channel for explaining the difference between 4b and 4c hair (here). Also, Naturally Curly (quiz is here) and Carol’s Daughter (quiz is here) can help you figure out what your hair type and texture are as well.
That way, as you’re moving through a sea of recommendations and suggestions, you can better narrow down what will prove to be the most effective for your hair strands personally. Knowledge is power. This includes when it comes to your skin and hair.
2.Acknowledge That Hair Products Actually Do Expire
GiphyDid y’all know that both skin and hair products expire? Yep. When it comes to skin ones, if they’ve got more oil than water in them, they tend to have a longer shelf life; although most skincare experts say that if you’ve got something that didn’t come with an expiration date but you’ve been holding onto it for 2-3 years, it’s time to toss it. As far as your hair goes, if a bottle of, say shampoo or conditioner has been opened, you shouldn’t keep it around for more than 12 months after you first used it.
And what if you’re not sure what to do? A solid rule is to pay attention to if the appearance or texture of a skin or hair product has changed. If that is indeed the case, go ahead and toss it. No sense in keeping something around if it’s not going to be effective — and if it doesn’t look or feel like it did when you first purchased it…chances are, it won’t be.
3.Toss Out What You Don’t Use on a Weekly Basis
GiphyOkay, while this rule isn’t 100 percent, I would say that it’s probably around 70 percent accurate. What I mean by that is that there’s a good chance that you don’t wash your hair, like clockwork, every seven days. And so, the main point here is, if something is not in consistent rotation, all it’s really doing is taking up space.
For instance, I’ve got a couple of bottles of braid-out and edge control products that absolutely need to get up and out from underneath my bathroom sink before 2024 because all they do is leave a white residue and a frizz-like hold (I won’t say no names but some products out here charge way too much money for the chaos that they create). Why haven’t I done it? It’s honestly because there is a part of me that thinks that, perhaps if I blend those items with something else, they will be useful.
However, since I haven’t tried that yet and also since other products are serving me just fine, I need to let that “fantasy” go and put them in the trash. Clutter is clutter, no matter what lie I might tell myself. Words to live by, sis. Words to freakin’ live by.
4.Make Sure Products Are Seasonal Not Emotional
GiphySomething that some people don’t take into consideration is the fact that your skin and hair oftentimes need different products based on the season that they are in. For instance, since winter is the time when we’re in dry indoor heat quite a bit, it would make sense to use a thicker moisturizer and hair conditioner than in the summer season; that’s what I mean by getting a “seasonal product.”
So, what do I mean by an emotional product? Just like you can have a bad hair day, you can have a “bad product reaction” sometimes. For instance, one of my absolute favorite braid-out creams, sometimes we work seamlessly together — sometimes we don’t. A bit of trial and error has revealed that on the wash days, when I use a heavy protein treatment, the product doesn’t take too well to it (go figure).
Anyway, what I used to do in times past was go out and buy 2-3 other popular braid-out products. Now, I just add a bit more patience in how I apply the one that I have.
Emotions are about feelings. When you want to stop being a product junkie, you’ve got to bring some logic and common sense into play. So yeah, when you’re out here doing your thing on your skin and hair, seasonal shifts in your products make sense; hinging everything on emotion (how you “feel” about your hair at the time) is unnecessary and costly. Literally.
5.Stop “Stress Shopping”
GiphyI can’t believe that at my big age, sometimes I will still get random breakouts — and, of course, they happen at the most unexpected and inopportune times. Although I know that oftentimes, like a cold, I just need to let it all run its course…I also know that I’ve got a solid skincare routine, and I just need to leave things be. Still, sometimes the stress of a perfectly (or imperfectly, depending on how you look at it) placed zit will have me out here looking for any and everything that says it will zap it in 24 hours or less.
And that, my friends, is what I call “stress shopping.” Even a pimple patch (which is actually pretty bomb when you want to reduce the swelling of a zit) is not going to make your skin look like a pimple was never there in a day. So, if you’re out here wasting money because you’re looking for a quick fix, accept that 9.5 times out of 10, there is no such thing, and so, all you’re gonna do by purchasing more stuff is spend more money, which now stresses your bank account out — which profits (pun intended) you nothing.
6.Who Cares If It’s Popular. Does It Work? FOR YOU?
GiphyAnd finally, this point right here can apply in so many ways and on so many levels. Thankfully, I’ve never been the kind of person (not as an adult anyway) who really cared to do something because it was “popular” — and it has served me well. Skincare and hair care products are not exempt because — and again, I won’t say no names — I can’t tell you how many times someone has told me that I’m crazy for not literally buying into a brand (or product from a brand), I got a test sample and either I was less than impressed, or my scalp or skin got irritated from it.
Personally, some of the best items that have worked for me are homemade products on Etsy’s site. The ingredients are natural, and the prices are fair. That’s just me…what works for me. Just make sure that if you are starting 2024 by promising yourself that you won’t be a product junkie anymore that you will really ponder what works for you and stick with that. It’ll save you time, money, and unnecessary drama. And won’t your skin and hair be thankful for that, chile.
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So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
It’s not like it has to be a bad thing. In fact, studies say that somewhere around 15 percent of engaged couples actually met through a friend. All I’m saying is, before you entertain someone’s “I’ve got someone I want you to meet” invitation, it would benefit you to interview them first — for the sake of all parties involved.
The questions that I recommend asking? The following six are what I think can get everyone on the same page, so that there is more pleasure than regret from the hook-up attempt.
1. Why Are They So Invested?
GiphyTwo things that I recently watched over again are the series Survivor’s Remorse (the writing is so damn good) and a movie called Trapped in Temptation (both are currently on Tubi). Something that both of them made me think about is the fact that motive reveals a lot when it comes to why people say and do the things that they do.
When it comes to the movie, specifically, without giving the film away — let me just say that, if you are in a relationship, be really careful about listening to individuals who try to talk you out of maintaining it. More times than not, the motive is shady as hell. And honestly, sometimes people who are close to obsessed with you being in one deserve a bit of side-eye too.
Now, if it’s someone who loves all things love, they are in love and they want you to experience something similar — that’s sweet. Just make sure that they are approaching the set up from a healthy space. What I mean by that is they don’t see singleness as some sort of relational handicap or they aren’t trying to override what you want for your life as if they somehow know better (there are so many ways to be a control freak, y’all).
Hmph. Now that I think about it — make sure that the set-up crew isn’t trying to use you to “save” some male friend or relative of theirs. I say that because I once knew a mother whose son had — count ‘em — 10 kids and she was FOREVER trying to get me to date him. Girl, that wasn’t for me. She was looking for a Holy Ghost Jr. for that child of hers. I’ll pass. HARD PASS.
Bottom line with this one — if someone wants to set you up with someone else, the first thing to ask is why? Make sure to really listen to what their answer is. Then pay attention to if your mind, body and spirit are at peace with their answer(s).
2. Do They Know What You Want?
GiphyI don’t know about y’all, but the people (and let’s be honest, by far, it’s usually women) who have tried to set me up with someone? They didn’t even know what my preferences or type was. Hell, they didn’t even know my thoughts or timeline as it relates to being in a serious relationship were either. And what that boils down to is they were trying to hook me up based on their agenda, not mine — and that usually meant that the guys who they came up with? Yeah…I was good on them. LOL.
Yeah, if someone wants to hook you up, you definitely should ask them if they know what you are looking for in a guy when it comes to his looks, personality, passions, spirituality, relational desires and goals, location, etc. Because, indeed, what is the point in going out with someone who is fine as hell and yet, you want kids and he doesn’t (or vice versa) or who has a great personality yet he isn’t even in the same ballpark of your spiritual beliefs?
If your friend really wants to help you out, valuing your time should come with that — and that means bringing someone into your life who complements your lifestyle. No wiggle room here.
3. Are They Aware of Your Deal-Breakers?
GiphyLast year, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “Should Bad Sex Actually Be A Relationship Deal-Breaker?” The thing that I think needs to go on record about deal-breakers is they aren’t exactly standards that you have. No, a deal-breaker is something that can’t be worked out even after trying to negotiate or compromise. When it comes to relationships, a deal-breaker might be how long two people should date before becoming exclusive or getting engaged. Another deal-breaker might be if being religious is more important than being spiritual and how that manifests itself (church or no church, etc.). And yes, another deal-breaker may be what each other’s sexual needs and expectations are.
When someone is setting you up, it is imperative that they know about your standards. For instance, for me, I am not interested in dating a divorced person, pretty much ever (I Corinthians 7:10-11). I’ve had friends who have tried to hook me up with that demographic before and it has always been a moot effort. The fact that some of them have gotten frustrated with my convictions has absolutely nothing to do with me. Some have tried to get me to compromise my deal-breakers too — like a long-distance relationship. Is it a firm “naw”? No. However, it’s not really something that I am interested in, so why not just…recommend someone local?
Yeah, if someone thinks that they know you well enough to hook you up, they absolutely should be well-versed in what your deal-breakers are before they do. And if they’ve never asked, all they are doing is assuming — and we know what that typically means. LOL.
4. What Is Their Track Record?
GiphyIt’s kind of wild that we now live in a time when more couples meet online than they do through “old-fashioned ways” like via their friends (although some reports say that Gen Z is getting back to that) — and yet, here we are. Still, if you are willing to let someone play pseudo matchmaker in your life, you are well within your rights to inquire about their track record in that department. Have they hooked others up, successfully, before? Has any of their “Cupid work” caused both people to get exactly what they wanted out of the situation? If/when things went awry, why was that?
I know someone who is constantly trying to hook people up. Thing is, maybe 10-15 percent (no joke) of their efforts have proven to be positive and fruitful — and we’re talking about close to close to two decades of them doing it. Listen, time is too precious to be out here doing stuff ONLY to please other people. That said, if someone wants you to devote some time to one of their grand ideas, you are well within your rights to ask about their past and current success score when it comes to it.
5. Can They Keep Their Own Feelings Out of It?
GiphyWanna know if someone who is offering to do something for you is actually doing it more for themselves? If they try to make it be about them when things don’t go the way they would like, that is a dead ringer. An example? They post a message about you on social media and then question you about why you didn’t do the same thing in return. Another example? They do something for you and then throw it in your face during an argument. Still another example? They set you up with someone, it doesn’t work out, and suddenly you’ve put them in a weird spot. No dear — you put your own self in that position by trying to hook two people up in the first place.
I promise you, it will spare everyone unnecessary energy spent (or even drama experienced) if, before you agree to be hooked up, you get the matchmaker on record stating that they will keep their emotions out of it as much as possible. MEANING — they will do the introductions and then let the chips fall where they may. If they can’t do this, my two cents (save it or spend it) would be to decline the offer. Because all you need is someone texting you about why you haven’t called their cousin back or having an attitude with you when you break up with some guy at their church who they thought was the perfect catch (P.S. These aren’t hypothetical examples — LOL).
6. Will They Respect Your Boundaries? Start to Finish?
GiphyYeah, this final one is a biggie. Just because someone sets you up with another person, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily mean that they should have the right to the details of the dynamic. I don’t care if it’s the first date or the 10th date. I don’t care if you decide to just be sex buddies or to have a full-blown relationship. I don’t care if you stay together or break-up — it’s your relationship which makes it your business. Whatever you share is privileged data.
Yeah, I would say that probably the most challenging thing about being hooked up by someone you know is they have a tendency to think that they are a part of the relationship too — and that is a lie. If things go well beyond a couple of dates, you and the guy should discuss what you will both share with the person who introduced you and then agree to stick to that boundary, no matter what. It’s a great way to protect the dynamic, to keep “outside voices” from influencing the growth and to navigate how you want to move, moving forward.
Someone who hooked you up for the right reasons and knows how to honor limits? They will understand. Will they ask questions? Absolutely. Will they pry? Nah.
___
Should you sit and let someone hook you up? I mean, you never know how your blessing will come. Just make sure that they are prepared for you to do some digging into their mindset before they start sweetly meddling into your love life.
It’s only fair. Hell, and right. LOL.
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