I knew he had me when I started daydreaming about him every day.
My mind started wandering to that fantasy world where I go shopping with his mom and visualize how my first name looks with his last. I'm a talk-on-the-phone kinda girl, but I was actually excited to see his name pop up on my iPhone screen and chit-chat for hours via text. I’m a complete sucker for romance and can spew poems from Love Jones at a moment’s notice, but these feelings blindsided me. For months, I wasn't necessarily the one to get caught up in the rapture of love. In fact, before this out-of-nowhere crush, I opted for treating guys like play things.
You see, once enough hurt from past relationships piles up, your heart becomes icy.
To cope, I buried myself in that coldness, using men only for sexual enjoyment and attention.
No guy was ever more than emotional tinkering, and I'd mastered banishing them to the friend zone if they wanted anything serious. Men who truly cared about me were tossed into my petty spin cycle of late night texts (out of sheer boredom I'm sure) and read receipts. Somewhere inside I knew it was wrong to toy with men’s emotions, but I felt equally detached and empowered by my lack of caring. I was in a space where I couldn’t get hurt, and I bathed in Rihanna's "Needed Me" attitude.
[Tweet ""I buried myself in that coldness, using men only for sexual enjoyment and attention.”"]
Then, here was this guy who grabbed my attention out of the blue. This feeling of being wholeheartedly interested in someone was a little foreign to me. This felt different. He felt different. And for the first time in months, I wanted more.
We'd been friends for years before these butterflies began fluttering. From day one, I was (and probably still am) completely in awe of the man he was, is and will become. He is ambitious, driven, well-dressed, kind, intellectual and understanding. He's from the South, loves his mama, and a die-hard family guy with a great sense of humor. We discuss black literature, politics, encourage one another in our careers, shit-talk about LeBron and Steph Curry and dish out our opposing opinions about Cam Newton. I am open with him, vulnerable and honest. With him, I find myself swallowing my pride and fear of loving someone. There's only one problem:
He wants to remain as we are—just friends--and nothing more.
When he revealed this to me, for the first time in awhile, I was hurt. I assume it was the same pang of disappointment the guys in my dating history felt when I shut down any possibility of a relationship. He wasn't some random f*ckboy who set out to shatter my feelings. In fact, he was upfront, honest and considerate when he stuck a pin in the future I'd daydreamed about. Because of his emotional maturity, I realized that I should have extended the same courtesy to every guy I ever toyed with.
Instead, my cold, hard lesson came in the form of falling for this perfect guy who is currently falling for his perfect girl. After swallowing several spoonfuls of the medicine I’d been serving up for months, I now know the cat-and-mouse games are all nonsensical when you know exactly what and who you want.
Nowadays, I try to be just as forthcoming since I've experienced the pain of the other side. The bitterness that once allowed me to hurt others so recklessly has faded, and I'm emotionally ready for something honest, healthy and true.
[Tweet "I'm falling for this perfect guy who is currently falling for his perfect girl."]
Can I give him all the credit for my new outlook? Not entirely. But my situation with him was a major wake-up call: Karma's a bad b*tch and her vengeance is swift. Life will teach you what you need to know about love in due time, and you just have to take the Ls that come.
So, here I am writing you live from the friend zone licking my wounds. I'm not only humbled by the experience, but I'm also healing because of it. Even if I'd never get to call him my man, he's in my life for a reason. And if his friendship is all I can afford, I'll happily take it and the lessons that come with it.
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Feature image by Leon Bennett/WireImage
The art of crystal healing has become mainstream within the last few years. We've seen crystals being talked about all over social media. These days, everyone seems to have a crystal for almost every occasion: love, growth, money, better sex, bigger booty, etc. However, what about having a crystal for your zodiac sign?
In order to learn the crystal for you based on your zodiac sign, I spoke with tarot card reader Patrick Sykes and astrologer Jack Fuller, who is an expert on crystals. Together, they discussed the perfect tarot messages and crystals they have for each zodiac sign.
1.Capricorn
Garnet.
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Crystal: Garnet Stone
"Capricorns will be good with anything that is grounding, any crystal that is root chakra-based. Many Capricorns are good at capitalizing in the world, so they already have this connection to that root chakra energy. Garnet stone can very much help them dive deeper into the root chakra. Garnet can also help them balance because sometimes Capricorns have an overabundance of energy. Sometimes they can put so much energy into making a coin, they forget to call their momma. Garnet stone can help them balance all of that."
Tarot Message:
"Capricorn got the Four of Swords. They tend to pull into themselves, but the Four of Swords talks about pulling into your dreams. Now is the time to pull into your dreams and own them."
2.Aquarius
Crystal: Selenite
"Amethyst is our baby. Amethyst is really good for making a connection with the third-eye chakra. The third-eye chakra helps you see out into the distances, the distances of time, space, dimension, and also protects your vision in that way. Also, if an Aquarius is not drowning in selenite, then I don't know what you're doing. We need that clarity because we're so future-focused. We need that clarity, so we can come back in, and see what's right in front of us. Selenite helps us get that future information in the present context."
Tarot Message:
"The sun came up for Aquarius. The sun is a Major Arcana card. This card talks about bringing new life. Aquariuses are the water-bearer, and they really bring that excitement. The message is to focus on the sun when you need that excitement and renewal."
3.Pisces
Crystal: Pyrite and Moonstone
"Usually, a Pisces is great with a good Moonstone. Pisces should carry pyrite (fools gold). Pyrite is really good for transmuting negative energies. Pisces tend to be in the realm of that empathic space holder. They are either controlling the emotion in the atmosphere or are absorbing it. Pisces need to be able to manage the negative effects of that because they can take hold of them. Moonstone is also great for Pisces! We are used to Moonstone aligning [those who use it] from the root chakra up, the Moonstone does it from the crown chakra down and gets you aligned with the spooky stuff. Moonstone helps you through shadow work."
Tarot Message:
"The card I got for Pisces is the Queen of Cups. Pisces is a very emotional sign, it's a water sign. The Queen of Cups isn't about not having those emotions or concealing them. The Queen of Cups is more for control of all those emotions. Instead of becoming overwhelmed by those emotions, know the power of them."
4.Aries
Carnelian
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Crystal(s): Carnelian, Blood-stone, and or Red Jasper
"Aries is a real serious and fiery sign. Aries comes through with the heat! You might get burned. Carnelian would be good for Aries in managing the fiery-ness. Aries is generous, like really generous at heart. However, the generosity is on their terms and if not followed, they might not be so generous. They have to manage to give that fire to themselves and making the specificity their own. Blood-stone and Red Jasper can be good because it allows them to think before they act."
Tarot Message:
"The card for Aries is the World card, but in reverse. What this signifies is challenging how you arrive. Aries can tend to be stubborn because they are firm in their passions. For this, it's important to know how you arrive at this passion. The world card in reverse talks about circling back, like how did you get there? And making sure that is a valid place to be."
5.Taurus
Crystal(s): Malachite and Emerald
"Malachite comes in handy for a lot of earth signs in bringing rigidity to the heart, especially for Taurians. They are similar to Aries in that they have a plan that's going to be best for YOUR life. The difference between Tauruses and Aries is Taurses are closer to right. Taurus needs the ability to have their ideas for people's lives be adaptable. Taurians require the ability to adapt in their life. They have a hard time adapting their view of others and this affects their connection with others. Taurians wanting to help comes from a nurturing space, but they have to remember to not be overbearing. Emerald is the birthstone for May. An emerald crystal is good because it helps heal those emotional wounds."
Tarot Message:
"The card that came up for Taurus is the Eight of Cups. This card talks about you feeling emotionally empty and feeling like you're missing something. The thing that is missing is knowing the truth of your own emotions. The Eight of Cups talks about going there with yourself emotionally."
6.Gemini
Crystal: Pearl
"The Gemini birthstone is the pearl. A Gemini's sense of individualism is high, it can be good. However, it tends to be toxic more often than not. The lesson Geminis need to learn from the pearl is: 'There is not only one pearl in a clam, but a pool of twenty.' Remember, there is a pool of twenty you came here with. There is a lack of individualism and an interconnection to compartmentalize the voices they're hearing. Pearl can help Geminis deliver messages clearer than they hear it in their head."
Tarot Message:
"The card that came up for Gemini is the Princess of Wands. The Princess of Wands talks about not [taking] yourself so seriously that you forget why it was fun in the first place. Geminis are creatures of passion; they do things because they enjoy them. When the passions manifest into success and opportunity, it is because it came from a place of fun. However, they can get into their heads and get so mysterious that they forget why they started. The Princess of Wands says: 'Remember this started as something that brought you creative fulfillment and joy.'"
7.Cancer
Crystal(s): Jade, but really Rhodonite
"Jade inspires confidence. Cancers feed and absorb all those emotions in a way that tends to be more self-deprecating. Cancers will take all those emotions and personalize them. They need a lot of self-worth help, and Rhodonite is the best stone for that. Cancers need to dive into self-worth and understand that there is so much value in the ability to internalize other people's stories. They also need to realize that their own story is traumatic enough. Know your self-worth to know that you're worth not taking on other people's stuff."
Tarot Message:
"The card for Cancers is the Nine of Pentacles. This means: reaping the rewards of the seeds you planted, like seeing your garden grow. Knowing that because you put in this work (emotionally/financially, etc.), know that it's going to be beautiful when it grows. Take time to celebrate what you built."
8.Leo
Sunstone.
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Crystal(s): Sunstone and Tiger's eye
"Leos are missing people and places because being shiny in a cave doesn't do y'all much justice. There isn't a lack of confidence, but a lowkey fear vibration happening. Sunstone will set that fear into an intention. It's going to help decipher whether the fear is healthy or not. Fear is love in excess, so deal with it. Figure out what it is that you're loving in excess, so you can let it go, and release that fear. Giving it intent is going to give it context. Leos hate being indecisive, but love having options. There's a fear of letting go of those options because having those options brings comfort. You have to put that fear in good context so that you can let go of those options. Those options are beautiful, but they're not serving you. Tiger's eye will also give you guys the bravery that you need."
Tarot Message:
"The card for Leo is the Star. To be the Star, if you want to be at the center, also requires responsibility. You can't be at the center and not accept the responsibilities of being at the center. The Star talks about getting in tune with that. If you're going to be the boss, you're going to have to put in the work. If you want to be the center, you have to do the work that requires you to stay there."
9.Virgo
Crystal: Lapis Lazuli and Citrine
"Virgos are outspoken and they hold that overbearing nurturer energy. However, they are not good at saying what they mean. Virgos are very good at asking, 'What's wrong? What needs to be fixed? And how to fix it?' But, when it comes to expressing the truth of how they're feeling in a moment or about a person, it sometimes gets over-intellectualized or over-contextualized. Lapis lazuli is a good throat chakra clearer and breaks up blockages in the throat chakra. I'm also sensing that Virgos need some citrine. They just need some confidence. Virgos find your confidence, so you can get back into reflecting and loving yourself."
Tarot Message:
"The card for Virgo is the Wheel of Fortune in reverse. This card talks about letting go. Virgos need to detach themselves from the work that they do, instead of digging deeper. This can only lead to confusion between your work and yourself. Remember, it's important to compartmentalize parts of yourself. Use this to reevaluate to move forward."
10.Libra
Crystal: Pink Tourmaline
"For Libras, I would suggest Pink Tourmaline. They (Libras) are good at finding people of interest, but not necessarily good at experiencing the love that the person has for them, and expressing the truth of the love that they feel. There's a lot of desiring that love to look a particular way. Libras tend to get into situations where they are looking for something in relationships, rather than appreciating what is there. Libras need to allow themselves to experience the love that is coming towards them so they can understand what their love means. Pink Tourmaline will be good for experiencing love in a way that is pouring into you."
Tarot Message:
"The card for Libra is the King of Swords. This card is a card that represents air but is a very stern and opinionated representation of a person. What this signifies for Libras is: 'People will respect you more if you tell them what you actually think.' Libras feel like they have to be so many things for so many people. A lot of people also respect Libras, which is why people would respect what they really have to say."
11.Scorpio
Crystal: Aquamarine
"Aquamarine would be good! Scorpios have been trying to get a specific spiritual message across for a while. The spiritual message has to do with self-care, specifically spiritual self-care. Aquamarine will help you access different levels of calm that will give you the ability to release some frustration. Scorpios need this because they don't need any more reason to be icy."
Tarot Message:
"The Nine of Swords is the card I have for Scorpios. This talks about internalizing your own life fears and those fears can manifest into reality. Try your best not to do this! Stop giving your fears so much power and manifesting them into reality."
12.Sagittarius
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Crystal: Turquoise
"The stone that Sagittarius needs is some turquoise, so you can be honest with yourself. You can be honest with the people around you because you have good people around you. The people around see you and love you for who you really are despite your flaws. [You need] time to get a good understanding of yourself and be honest with yourself, so you can be more honest with the people that love you. Once you're honest with the people around [you], they can be of more assistance. Your friends are sick of you needing help, yet not knowing how to ask for it."
Tarot Message:
"The Ten of Wands are what came up for Sagittarius. We can see you bearing all that weight. [The] Sagittarius should know: just because you are taking on the responsibility of something, that doesn't mean it translates to burden. Stop taking on responsibilities as burden and weight. Instead, take them on as labors of love. You need to embrace the love of this responsibility."
For more of Jack and Patrick, follow them on Instagram: @gypjaq and @mx.sykes.
Featured image by Shutterstock
Originally published on March 8, 2021