There is not enough time to get into just why I am so thankful for the male side of my tribe. What I will say, for now, is it's my personal belief that a lot of women struggle in their relationships because they spend more time listening to other women about how men think and what men want/need than men — and that can lead to all kinds of problems. This faulty approach has also cultivated a lot of myths about the male species; ones that many of the men who I interviewed for this piece (middle names were used) have said that they don't usually make time to debunk because all it typically leads to is unnecessary debates and arguments — and a lot of men don't care to do either (there goes a debunked myth right there).
This time, they get the floor, though. As I thought about some of the most common beliefs about men — especially Black men — that exist out in these streets, 20 guys took a moment to share their gut reaction to them. Hear them out.
1. Men Prefer Younger Women
Chris. Single. 26.
"Who's that guy who says that all men want women under 30? Kevin, something? That's a joke. A lot of these young women have young minds. What I will say is when you first go out on a date with a guy, you should ask him if he wants to have children or not. I mean, his own children. That is the biggest factor when it comes to the age thing. An older woman can be fine as hell and bring a lot to your life. But if a man wants to build a family, he's gonna factor in that the older a woman is, the more challenging that will get."
Richard. Dating. 32.
"I've always preferred older women. They're sexier. They're smarter. They cut to the chase a lot quicker. Anyone who tells you that younger is better is probably intimidated by what older women bring to the table. A 40-year-old ain't playin' with us. Most men know it."
2. Men Only Have Sex on Their Minds Most of the Time
Raynard. Single. 23.
"I think I read somewhere that men think about sex around 20-25 times a day. That breaks down into roughly one time an hour. Are women trying to say that they don't do the same thing? Whatever. I think women confuse us being visually stimulated with thinking about sex. Yes, when we see a good-looking woman, we're going to take notice. To say that means we automatically think about having sex with her — what are we? In the eighth grade? Men have several erections during the day and I think that can cause us to think about sex. Or, if we're in a relationship and we connect with our lady, sexual thoughts will typically happen. But when you're a Black man in America, trust me, you've got way more to [be] contemplating [about] than sex. It doesn't cross our minds as much as most women assume."
Anthony. Married. 40.
"If you do some of your own research, men naturally have more testosterone and that is what causes a lot of us to have a higher sex drive. If you've got a problem with that, take it up with God. But the notion that all we think about is sex is ridiculous. Some of y'all have been so sold on everything masculine being toxic that you think something is wrong if we're not just like you. Again, take the differences up with God."
"But no, we don't think about sex all of the time and we definitely want a woman to bring more to the table than that. And contrary to what a lot of women may think, sex really is better to us when there's an emotional connection. It's the difference between sex for a couple of months and us wanting to stroll through life with you."
3. Men Repel Marriage
Dontay. Dating. 37.
"I'm not afraid of marriage. What I'm not gonna do is be pressured into doing it before I'm ready. I think it's crazy how a lot of women talk about wanting a man to lead and yet they are trying to push us down the altar at the same time. You will never get to ultimatum me into a wedding ring. All that does is show me that you will try and take over once we're official. That is unattractive as hell. And it has nothing to do with a wedding. Or being married."
Xavier. Single. 31.
"I've been wanting to be married since I was a freshman in college. I think what a lot of women don't realize is they seem to be open to getting married over and over again when things don't work out. Men aren't wired that way. We want to meet the right one and stay with her forever. And we'll take as long as we need to feel secure that we made the right decision. A grown man doesn't fear marriage. What guys have y'all been dating?"
4. Men Don’t Like After-Baby Bodies
Charles. Married. 41.
"Remember when you said to me [Shellie] a while back that a lot of people out here aren't being 'shamed'; they are projecting? I felt that big-time. I don't know any men personally who think that a woman's body after having a child is unattractive. Sometimes the weight that remains, years after, can take some getting used to. But a woman being able to bring life into the world is sexy as hell. We don't care about no damn stretch marks. We want to get up in there, more than ever, actually. Let's make another one!"
Brenden. Engaged. 30.
"Why is it rare to see two big people together? I mean, women are always talking about how they shouldn't be fat-shamed and a lot of them do it to us. Anyway, I have two kids by two different women. Their bodies did change after giving birth, but it was the lack of sex, because they were so self-conscious, that bothered me more than anything their body was going through. A lot of y'all are super self-critical and try and put that on us. It's annoying because a lot of what you assume we're thinking about, hasn't crossed our minds at all. And what's really crazy is you wouldn't know because you haven't asked. You just assumed."
5. Men Have a Problem with Women Making More Money Than They Do
Eugene. Married. 47.
"My wife and I have had seasons where I made more money and seasons when she did. I've been married 16 years now and I'll just say that men aren't nearly as threatened by or impressed with what you've got going on in your bank account. What can be annoying sometimes is the attitude that comes with it — that you don't need to listen to any of our thoughts or input if you make more bread. So, do we have a problem with you making more money? Hell no. Do we have a problem with a funky ass attitude if you do? Hell yes."
Stephen. Dating. 39.
"We want a partner. And not a financial consultant. It's like when women talk about what they bring to the table, it's a laundry list of accomplishments and money records. I recently watched a TikTok where a woman said that men simply want a woman who brings them peace. That's what I'm talkin' about. If you make more money than we do, that's cool. If we can't have a peaceful relationship whether you do or not, I can't tell you how much we don't care."
6. Every Man Wants a Big Ass
Matthew. Dating. 33.
"Hell. This is a trick question because you know how y'all are — damned if we do, damned if we don't. This is gonna be on you because they don't know how to find me! No, all of us don't like these huge asses. Know what else? We can tell when they're fake and a lot of us hate fake anything. I like a woman whose body is real and proportioned. A little something in the back is cool. But so long as I don't have to worry about something sinking or inflating, I'm blessed."
Kenny. Single. 30.
"I think women listen more to other women about what they think men want. I like a nice ass. I do. But the past two women I've dated were pretty straight-up-and-down and they were still fine as f—k. Take good care of your body, whatever your shape is. That is what will catch our eye. Sure, men have preferences but if you're fine, we're gonna be interested. Ass or no ass."
7. All Men Agree with Kevin Samuels
Walter. Married. 45.
"I'm going to say something that a lot of women don't like."
"It's mighty interesting that when all of these women coaches out here are telling you what we think that you're fine with it. Then when a man says, 'Actually, that's some bulls — t', you're mad. Kevin is spot-on when it comes to how entitlement is unattractive, we don't care about your resumè more than your actual personality and we do factor in raising other people's legacies [children]. That brotha isn't on the mark about everything, though."
"We don't all want a size 6 and I personally don't think you should stay with a man who cheats. Bottom line, he's got some good and bad to say. Most of us think for ourselves, though…just like you do."
Terry. Single. 31.
"I'm a man and I'll say that it's a trip how men weren't trying to hear Kevin when he was telling men to pull their pants up but are all about him telling women to take their bonnets off. It's hysterical! Kevin is just the big thing right now. It'll pass. I do think him saying that we're tired of women thinking they can run all over us is on-point. We've been sick of that. But if you think most of us live on his every word, Kevin Samuels isn't your issue. You not knowing us as well as you think is."
8. Men Are Threatened by a Strong and/or Powerful Woman
Willis. Married. 44.
"Nope. Men aren't attracted to women who think they need to dominate men in order to appear strong and powerful — big difference. A man who is secure in who he is wants a woman who is a solid partner. Strength and power are two traits that can complement him really well. Some women watch too much Lifetime television."
Omar. Single. 32.
"Where do y'all get this stuff from? I swear. A strong and powerful woman, especially a Black woman, is amazing. What we don't like is a woman who thinks that strength and power means that she needs to emasculate us at every turn. If you want to 'be the man' in the relationship, get with a woman. But to think that success, money and popular platforms intimidate us, most of the women I know are like this and the men they are with think it's hot. Because it is."
9. Black Men Prefer Black Women…Who Look Like White Women
Jerrel. Single. 34.
"I've got a question. Why is it that when Serena Williams married a white man, sistahs were all 'Yes, girl!' Then when a Black man chooses a white woman, he's a sellout? Y'all bars can be all over the place sometimes. Personally, I am more attracted to dark-skinned women. Always have been. But beauty is beauty. I don't know why so many people are hung up on if someone is light or not. To me, it's if they are attractive or not — skin tone should have nothing to do with it."
Zeke. Dating. 40.
"Looks like a white woman. It's like a lot of Black people need to take a history class on what genetics look like in our culture. So, if a Black woman is light and has curly hair, she 'looks white'? There are women in Africa who look just like that and they are just as African as dark-skinned women with kinky hair. I like Black women. I've dated all kinds of Black women. They're all beautiful to me. To me, because I am pro-Black, dating someone who isn't Black isn't an option for me. So no, I don't want someone who 'looks white'. I do accept that we vary though and if the lady I settle down with has light skin and loose curls, so be it."
10. All Men Cheat
Gerald. Married. 28.
"I read somewhere that women cheat almost as much as men do, so I feel like this question needs to be presented to you guys more often too. When I was single, I wasn't always upfront with women about the fact that I was seeing other ladies. It's because I was single. I've been married for three years now and although I see beautiful women all of the time, y'all don't get how we feel when we've met our one. Cheat on her…for what? She's my best friend. The sex is amazin'. And I don't even connect with other women like I used to. All men don't cheat. The wrong ones do."
Vince. Engaged. 39.
"Do women realize how much work it takes to juggle multiple relationships? And what's crazy to me is, even though the stats continue to say that what, only 30 percent of men do it, we still get the 'all' word attached to us. A man who is about his business doesn't have time to cheat."
"I know men who have done it. I know guys who've never done it before. I cheated back in college. I haven't in my 30s at all. I'm out here trying to make money. What I will say is the guys who keep telling you that they don't want a relationship? They are prone to cheating if you keep pushing them because, what they are essentially conveying is, they like lots of women and exclusivity isn't their thing. Proceed with caution with them. But you're generalizing, big time, to think that all of us roll like that. And I thought women hated to be generalized."
There you have it. If there's any pushback, run these up the flagpole with your own male friends. For now, I'll just conclude with, if we spent a lot more time asking instead of assuming, we could probably communicate with the opposite sex a lot better. That is if we want to…which is another article for another time, chile.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
There’s just something about HBCU Homecoming that just hits different. Whether it’s your first time stepping onto the yard since graduation or you’re a regular at every Homecoming tailgate, HBCU pride is undeniable. It’s a vibrant celebration that unites the legacy of excellence and tradition with the energy and resilience of Black culture.
The experience goes beyond a typical college reunion; HBCU Homecoming is a family reunion, a fashion show, a cultural festival, and a week-long turn-up that embodies what it means to be unapologetically Black and educated. For HBCU alumni, the journey back to the yard each year is rooted in a love and pride that’s hard to put into words but impossible to deny.
From statement pieces to tech must-haves, every item represents the intersection of Black pride and HBCU love, ensuring that you show up to the yard in style and with intention. So whether you’re repping your alma mater for the first time since graduation or looking for fresh pieces to express your HBCU pride, these essentials will have you standing out, because, at HBCU Homecoming, it’s not just about showing up—it’s about showing out.
Thread Goals
diarrablu Jant Pants in Alia Noir
High-waisted, wide-legged, and ready to shut down the yard, the Jant Pants by diarrablu bring a whole new meaning to campus chic. Handcrafted in Dakar, Senegal, these free-flowing jacquard pants are perfect for stepping onto the yard with style and ease—making them a must-have for any HBCU alum’s closet.
Silver & Riley Convertible Executive Leather Bag Classic Size in Olive
This all-in-one luxury bag isn’t a bestseller for nothing. The Silver & Riley essential is made of Italian calfskin leather and thoughtfully designed, as it can be worn in four different ways: a shoulder bag, crossbody, a top handle, and a backpack. Chic and elegant, the Convertible Executive Leather bag is “the bag that every woman needs in her collection.”
Renowned Women's Intuition Cotton Graphic T-Shirt
Renowned
Renowned’s Women’s Intuition Cotton Graphic T-shirt features a bold graphic print inspired by the power and essence of women’s intuition. With its striking design, this all-cotton tee is a vibrant thing, making it a statement piece that celebrates feminine energy.
Mifland Million M Mesh Crop Shirt
Talk about bold, the Million M Mesh Crop Shirt combines edgy style with comfort, featuring Mifland’s signature print on a semi-see-through mesh fabric. Show up and show out in sophisticated flair.
HBCU Love FUBU
Melanin Is Life Melanated & Educated - I Love My HBCU Hoodie
Show off your HBCU love with this piece that represents everything you gained from your alma mater: a top-tier education, a community that lifts you up, and a deep sense of esteem for yourself and your culture. Wear it loud and proud, because being melanated and educated isn’t just a flex—it’s a legacy.
HBCU Culture Spelmanite Sweatshirt in Navy
Spelmanites, rep your Spelman pride with this unisex crewneck sweatshirt, designed for ultimate comfort and a relaxed fit. Made from a cozy cotton/polyester blend, this classic sweatshirt is as durable as it is stylish—making it an ideal piece for any Spelmanite showing love for their alma mater.
HBCU Culture Howard Is The Culture T-Shirt
Rock the ultimate flex by showcasing your Howard U love with HBCU Culture’s Howard Is The Culture t-shirt. This unisex tee offers a comfortable, relaxed fit that’s perfect for celebrating your HBCU spirit without sacrificing style or comfort.
DungeonForward FAMU - Strike Bucket - Reversible
DungeonForward’s Strike Bucket Hat brings versatility and style to the FAMU Crown collection with its reversible design, giving you two looks in one. Featuring a sleek black snakeskin-embossed brim lining and a bold outline Rattler emblem, this hat is all about repping your Rattler pride in style.
DungeonForward Savannah State University - HBCU Hat - TheYard
The Savannah State University HBCU Hat by DungeonForward is more than just a hat—it’s a symbol of Tiger pride and a nod to the culture. Perfect for gamedays, tailgates, or just showing off your HBCU love, this hat lets you carry a piece of the yard wherever you go.
Tech the Halls
Anker iPhone 16 Portable Charger, Nano Power Bank
Stay charged up with the Anker Nano Power Bank, which features dual USB-C ports, a foldable connector, and a compact design, making it perfect for those HBCU tailgates and late-night parties you pull up to.
Drip Check
Wisdom Frame 14 Square Sunglasses
Elevate your look with these angular square-frame sunglasses by Wisdom, bringing an ultramodern edge to any outfit. The sleek design makes them perfect for blocking out the haters while you stunt on the yard.
Coco and Breezy Eyewear Fortune in Gray Turquoise
The Fortune Glasses in Grey Turquoise is a bold statement piece to any Homecoming weekend ‘fit that “embody our fearless and outspoken DNA.” With their color and edgy design, these frames by Coco and Breezy are perfect for anyone looking to stand out and express their unapologetic confidence.
Howard U Lapel Pin
Rep your Bison pride wherever you go with this Howard U Lapel Pin from Pretty AmbVision. Whether adding it to your jacket, shirt, or bag, this pin is the perfect way to showcase your love for your alma mater while rocking your HBCU love with honor and distinction.
Mifland Standard Rucksack Mini
The Standard Rucksack is designed to evolve like that HBCU pride—getting richer, bolder, and better with time. Durable, stylish, and built to last, this Rucksack by Mifland is a timeless piece equipped with versatile carrying options and fully adjustable back straps for ultimate comfort.
Stay Fresh, Stay Blessed
Slip Pure Silk Sleep Mask in Pink
Keeping it cute starts with beauty sleep. This luxurious silk mask is an essential for a reason. If protecting your skin and waking up refreshed is your priority, look no further than this Homecoming essential.
Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier Lemon Lime - Hydration Powder Packets
Stay hydrated and energized throughout Homecoming weekend with this Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier in Lemon Lime. Just add a packet to your water bottle, and bless your body with 2-3 times more hydration than water with every packet. Because staying hydrated is the key to popping up and showing out all weekend long!
Loop Experience Plus Earplugs High Fidelity Hearing Protection
Designed for your hearing protection, these sleek earplugs reduce noise without compromising sound quality—perfect for enjoying the band’s halftime show, late-night parties, and DJ sets. Whether you’re front row at the step show or hitting the yard, your ears deserve to be protected in style!
Black Girl Magic Glass Cup
Sip in style and celebrate your melanin with the Black Girl Magic Glass Cup. Perfect for morning coffee, your favorite iced drink, or showing off your HBCU pride on the yard—this cup is all about keeping it cute while radiating your endless supply of Black Girl Magic.
Glow Up & Show Out
Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30
What Homecoming weekend can be complete without an assist from this beauty find? Formulated to blend seamlessly into melanin-rich skin (no white-cast), protect your glow while you turn up with the Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30.
Sienna Naturals Issa Rae's Wash Day Ritual Set
Issa Rae’s Wash Day Ritual Set from Sienna Naturals includes the H.A.PI. Shampoo, the Plant Power Repair Mask, Dew Magic, and Lock and Seal to get your crown right. Whether you’re repping your coils or rocking a new color on the yard, these products restore and nourish your strands, keeping your hair healthy, strong, and Homecoming-ready!
54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter
Stay glowing from the tailgate to the after-party with the 54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter. Infused with African-sourced ingredients, this rich, multi-purpose butter is the answer to keeping your skin soft and radiant through all the festivities all Homecoming long.
Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil
Keep your lips looking luscious and nourished with the Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil. Perfect for adding an extra pop to your pout before hitting the yard or freshening up between events, this lip oil is a beauty essential for staying camera-ready all weekend.
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
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Ananda Lewis Clarifies Why She Didn't Get A Mastectomy & Says She's Doing 'Better' After Stage IV Breast Cancer Diagnosis
Former MTV VJ Ananda Lewis received a lot of backlash from online critics after sharing she decided to forgo a double mastectomy. But there's more to the story.
Ananda was diagnosed with stage III breast cancer in 2019, and during a recent round table discussion with CNN's Stephanie Elam and Sara Sidner, she revealed that she decided not to get a double mastectomy and, now, she has stage IV cancer.
Following that interview, she clarified why she did not get the surgery. “The circumstances were not conducive to surgery because my tumor wasn’t aggressively growing at the time, and then COVID hit,” Ananda told The Epoch Times.
She opted for a cryoablation treatment instead, which uses extreme cold to destroy the cancer cells.
Another thing the 51-year-old wanted to clarify was whether she was dying. She said she is not. “Nothing happened. Today, I am fantastic. I may have felt like I was dying in February, but I’m not dying, and I’m definitely doing better than I was last October,” she said.
She is focused on taking care of herself and getting a "good 20 more years out of this body." She follows a keto diet and avoids alcohol, white flour and white sugar.
During the CNN roundtable discussion, the mother of one shared that she had an integrative approach to her treatment, which included traditional medicine and homeopathy methods such as red light therapy.
“My plan at first was to get out excessive toxins in my body. I felt like my body is intelligent, I know that to be true. Our bodies are brilliantly made,” she said.
“I decided to keep my tumor and try to work it out of my body a different way,” she continued. “Looking back on that, I go, ‘You know what? Maybe I should have.’
Ananda also admitted that she wasn't prioritizing early detection, such as getting mammograms. The former talk show host's mom also had breast cancer and chose to go the conventional route, which influenced her to go a non-traditional route.
As a content creator, Ananda uses her social media to inform others on the things she's learned about obtaining good health such as toxic items to through out of your pantry and the many benefits of water.
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