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What Is The 'Johari Window' And Why It's Bomb When It Comes To Increasing Self-Awareness
Not too long ago, while in an interview, someone asked me to share what I think is an extremely overlooked reason why a lot of relationships are either unhealthy or don’t end up seeing the distance. Without even a bit of hesitation, I said that far too many people lack even a “kiddie pool level” of self-awareness — and it’s costing them…dearly.
Almost four years ago, I penned an article for xoNecole, "These Are The Things Self-Aware People Do Daily." There’s a quote inside that talks about self-awareness consisting of holding oneself accountable, and lawd, that’s an entire book and podcast series right there! However, when it comes to what we’re going to get into today, it’s another quote that comes to mind. Two psychologists by the names of Shelley Duval and Robert Wicklund say that self-awareness is “…the ability to focus on yourself and how your actions, thoughts, or emotions do or don't align with your internal standards” — and this is where the Johari Window fits in perfectly.
I must admit that it actually wasn’t until I saw an episode ofBeing Mary Jane back in the day that I even discovered what the Johari Window is. As far as the show goes, long story short, Mary Jane needed to deal with some internal stuff that was causing her to stay in a loop in a lot of her relationships, and the window helped her out.
Since personally studying it, though, it’s something that I’ve done and also recommended to my clients in order for them to receive some of their own “ah ha moments” in their own neck of the woods. So, if you’re ready to get to know your own self a bit better, in hopes of flourishing more in your own interactions with other individuals, let’s do some unpacking of what the Johari Window is and how it can totally help you out.
What Exactly Is the Johari Window?
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It’s kind of a long story, yet probably the best way to simplify everything. Back in the mid-1950s, two psychologists by the name of Joseph Luft and Harry Ingram came up with a concept that, in their minds, would help people to better communicate with others, especially when they are interacting in a group setting. It’s called the Johari Window, and Johari is actually the merging of their two first names.
Anyway, the ultimate goal of the Johari Window is to prove that awareness for yourself and trust from others can be better established once you are able to share how you perceive yourself while also being open to hearing feedback from others. In order for this to successfully transpire, there is a window that you must “look into,” and it’s broken down into four parts.
Now before we get into each windowpane, let me just say that it requires a lot of HUMILITY (and yes, I am yelling it) for this to be effective, especially when it comes to hearing what others have to say. This needs to go on record because if you truly want to tap into new levels of yourself, it’s not your job to go on the defensive, to become offended, or to shut down if/when you hear something that isn’t exactly easy or pleasant. Instead, remain open to how you may be perceived so that you can get to understand yourself and your relationships on a whole ‘nother level.
Are you ready to peek through each of the four panes now?
Johari Windowpane #1: Open Area
The open area is just how it sounds. It consists of the things that you and those around you already know. On a surface level, this could be the details that are provided about you when someone reads your bio before you make a presentation. On a deeper one, it could be the common things that co-workers, church members, and acquaintances are clued in about, including certain personality traits, various personal skills, and your views and opinions about certain things.
So, let’s start here. Pull out a piece of paper, the notepad on your smartphone, or your journal, and, for 5-10 minutes, jot down all of the things that you think fit into this particular windowpane. For instance, when it comes to me, most people know that I am pretty black and white (in the sense of how I see things), that I have a quick wit and I’m very direct in communication, that I am a marriage life coach, doula and writer (especially in the realm of relationships) and that I have strong convictions when it comes to the covenant, being pro-Black, supporting Black men and folks taking great measures to self-heal. Whether I’m public speaking, writing an article, or in a conversation with someone for more than 15 minutes on a plane, these things are going to come up in some form or fashion.
The open arena is pretty easy to share because they don’t really put you in vulnerable positions as far as mental and emotional intimacy goes.
Johari Windowpane #2: Blind Spot
Yeah, this is the one where people tend to get pretty testy. A blind spot is something that others may see about you that you don’t exactly perceive yourself. For instance, a few years back, when I decided that I wanted to get on the path of evolving in my femininity, I asked some of my male friends what they thought I needed to do to make that happen. One said that I needed to become a better listener. Another said that I needed to heal from some of the toxic female relatives in my life because whenever certain topics would come up, I was hard to communicate with — sometimes even combative. Another said that it would be cool to see me in some heels every once in a while (listen, put me in some Pumas, and I’m a happy girl!). Some others said some things that I would keep to myself.
Was it easy to take everything in? Nope. Blind spots rarely are because, just like a car can come into your blind spot while you’re trying to change lanes and almost cause you to get into an accident, oftentimes, when people tell you certain things about yourself, you won’t see them coming. However, they’re good for you to know because when you can get — AND RECEIVE — some intel into how you are seen by others, that can help you to either self-correct or come to a greater understanding of why 1) your relationships are the way that they are; 2) you keep finding yourself in the same patterns and outcomes that you get and/or 3) you aren’t going deeper in your dynamics with other people.
Yep. Opening your eyes to blind spots is where the big kids play.
Johari Windowpane #3: Façade
There’s a guy I know who is a straight-up chameleon. He’s an entertainer here in Nashville, and it’s wild how much he is perceived to be a good guy on the surface, and yet — if he were to get 30 women who he’s “dated” (which is basically code for sexually involving himself with), they would have some pretty dark tales to share. On the surface, it comes off that he’s a player or womanizer; however, the few of us who know him beyond that image get that he’s got quite a bit of baggage and damage that causes him to act that way.
This is kinda-sorta where the next windowpane comes in. It’s called the façade, and it consists of the things that you know that others probably don’t — your past, your secrets, your fears, your deep-rooted feelings…your shady side. The interesting thing about this windowpane is even if you withhold it from others, eventually, something about it will creep out in how you act or react because it’s still a part of your core being.
For me, as I’m dealing with couples, the façade can be A LOT because it’s wild to realize how much a lot of partners tend to withhold from one another, whether it’s due to fear of how their spouse will respond or because they set up a “front” of who they were during the dating process and now they don’t know how to stop…acting.
Either way, you can’t develop genuine intimacy with other people if you’re not willing to release your façade (or façades). That said, think of some of the folks who you consider to be your tribe, and then write down some things that you have been hesitant to share with them. Then ask yourself why. Whatever answer comes to your mind will be quite revelatory about what you should do about those relational dynamics next. Trust me.
Johari Windowpane #4: Unknown
I’m currently working on getting certified and then credentialed in some other areas of coaching, one of which is trauma-related. The reason why I’m bringing this up here is that the final windowpane of not knowing is sometimes tied to trauma that has caused you to block some feelings or important information about yourself out.So, how in the world do you tap into what you — and others — do not know about you? Therapy can help. Life coaching too. Or you can spend some intentional time with someone you trust, talking about certain areas of your life until you receive some revelations about yourself.
For instance, you could set up a wine date with a girlfriend at your house, where the two of you make a plan to talk about your childhood and your childhood dreams. As you’re sharing with each other, I wouldn’t be surprised in the least if some things are revealed that one or both of you had totally forgotten about — whether it’s due to trauma, family pressure to suppress certain dreams or wants, or…life simply getting in the way.To me, the unknown is a lot like having dormant spots in your life. By acknowledging them, they can come “back to life” and quite possibly, with a little bit of focus and effort on your part, open up entirely new worlds for you.
5 Benefits of Doing the Johari Window Exercise
The interesting thing about the Johari Window is, in many ways, like the beginning stages of life coaching, it was initially designed to help people interact better in group/corporate settings. However, when I watched how Mary Jane freaked it, that’s how I advised people to use it.
If you want to tweak it to apply to a work retreat or business meeting…by all means. First, though, try using it on a more personal note. Aside from all of the things that we already touched on via each windowpane, here are some other reasons why it could be one of the best self-help exercises that you’ve done in a while.
You will be a better communicator. You can’t have successful personal or professional relationships if you don’t communicate effectively, and the better you know yourself, the better you’ll be at expressing yourself. The Johari Window can help to make that happen.
You will be better at emotionally self-regulating. When it comes to blind spots and the unknown, both of those could explain (for example) why you get easily triggered, you are super-sensitive when it comes to correction, or you can’t seem to get a handle on your moods. Unfortunately, a lot of people chalk this kind of stuff up to “well, that’s just the way that I am” when the reality is part of what comes with emotional intelligence, and holistic maturity is knowing that you can absolutely control how you choose to respond and react to things. Getting to know your blind spots and unknown areas plays a big role in that.
You will feel more genuine when interacting with others. Some people define intimacy as knowing and being known. That said, it’s pretty difficult to be truly intimate with someone if you’re hiding parts of yourself or you’re putting up a façade. When you’re willing to give healthy and trustworthy individuals more authentic access to you, that is what makes your relationships more secure and reliable.
You will be able to make better decisions (faster). A part of the reason why some people struggle with the decision-making process is that they are always second-guessing themselves. Oftentimes, that’s because they care too much about what other people think, or they’re not clear enough about what their own standards, boundaries, or needs are. Oh, but believe you me, the better you know yourself, the easier it is to decide which people, places, things, and ideas will complement you and your life. I think that you can see that this is just one more way that the Johari Window can be of service.
Your self-esteem will skyrocket. Imagine how much more confident you will become once you can take honest feedback and apply it. I’m telling you, being able to hear about yourself may not always be easy but when you do it, it reveals that you’re willing to grow at the expense of simply feeding your ego all of the time — and that can make you unstoppable in so many ways and on so many levels.
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You know, I can’t think of one person who has walked this through and has not received some real insights on themselves — ones that have made them a better person and a better person to interact with.
So, over the next couple of weeks, treat yourself to the Johari Window exercise. Be open to what you learn — and, at the expense of punning, let the light of the window shine right on through, sis.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
These Newlyweds Found Love Thanks To A Friend Playing Matchmaker
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
Jason and Elise Robinson’s union is a reminder that kind people still get their happily ever after. The pair had their first date in October of 2021 and tied the knot on June 15, 2024. Both of them have dedicated their lives to celebrating and supporting Black culture so it was only fitting they get married in what's considered the Black Hollywood of America during the Juneteenth celebration weekend. From the florists to Elise and Jason's gown and suit designers to the table signage and so much more, everything was Black-owned. It's no wonder their love for Black culture was the jumping-off point for their love story.
When they met, Jason had just moved to Atlanta for a new job opportunity, and Elise was living happily in her career and had put dating on the backburner. But luckily, a mutual connection saw something in both of them and thanks to a yoga-themed baby shower and a chance text message, they found their forever. Check out their beautiful How We Met story below.
I’ll start with the easiest question. Can you both tell me a little bit about yourself and your background?
Elise: Sure, my name is Elise. I’m actually from Atlanta, GA – not a transplant. I grew up here and left right after college to pursue my career. Now I’ve been back going on eight years, and I’m in my early 40s.
Jason: And I’m Jason. I’m originally from Racine, Wisconsin. I went to school at Florida A&M University, so I am a rattler. I went back to the Midwest for a period of time, in Indianapolis. Now, I’ve been in the Atlanta area for a little over two and a half years.
Jason and Elise Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Wow, that’s nice because Atlanta gets a bad rap when it comes to relationships. So you have to give us the deets. How did you two find each other?
Elise: So I work in TV and I was on-air for a number of years and then transitioned into being a producer and then a manager. As a producer, I’d always have guests on. And there was a woman who came on frequently named Rosalynn (@Rosalynndaniels, often referred to as The Black Martha Stewart), and we connected instantly. Anyway, she got pregnant right before COVID and invited me to a “modern-day yoga baby shower.” I came to support, but was also just curious about that theme.
I had an amazing time. And when it was over a few of us stuck around and convos got personal. She ended up asking me the infamous ‘Are you dating’ question. When I told her no, she decided to set me up. So I should tell you, in both of my only two serious relationships, I was set up – so I was like no.
But she pointed at her husband, who was folding up chairs, and said that another friend set her up with him. Sometimes, it takes people outside of us to see what we need. A few months later, she reached out and said she had family relocating and thought I’d really like him. So she gave him my number, and I reached out with a text. He responded with a call, and that night, we talked for about 2-3 hours. So that’s how we met. I was a little nervous because me and Rosalynn were starting a friendship, and here I was, talking to her family!
Jason: It was new for me too. Remember, I was new to the area, and I had heard so many “stories” about how people have been done wrong in the dating world. Whether it’s by theft or scamming (laughs). Plus, I had just got a new job and wanted to focus on that. But I did want to be able to date someone in a more personal way and see where it led. I felt like who better than someone who I trust to connect me. Rosalynn knows I’m private, about business life, and my personal life is important to me.
So let’s get into your courtship. What was your first date like?
Elise: We had our first convo on a Monday, and he asked me out the next day. I didn’t have any plans, but I still said no. I was just playing hard to get (laughs). But we were talking every day, and he told me he wanted to take me somewhere I’ve never been. And I’m like, you’re in my city! But he sends me three options, and sure enough, two of the places I hadn’t gone to. So, our first date was October 1, 2021, and somebody was 45 minutes late.
Now Jason, why were you 45 minutes late?
Elise: It was me – in my own city. I just got turned around, and the traffic was horrible. I kept calling him and giving him permission to leave. Full transparency: I probably wouldn’t have waited if the shoe was on the other foot. But this was my first sign of what I now know and love the most about him. It’s his patience. When I got there, I was frazzled and everything, but he was just super calm. It ended up being a great first date.
Jason: I remember just waiting and being concerned for her well-being. Because I know how traffic can be, especially when someone is rushing. I was just scrolling through my phone and looking through the menu. It was cool.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Courtesy
That’s beautiful. Now let’s talk about the “what are we” convo? Did you have one of those and if so, who initiated it and how was it?
Elise: I initiated it. Jason was dating me – and still does. But by this time, we had been on a number of dates. We were on our way to a winery, and we had a bit of a drive. So I decided to state my intention. We were just a few weeks in, but we were spending a lot of time together and we are people of a particular age. So I told him, I know Atlanta can be a Black man’s playground. There’s so many beautiful professional women here. But I’m dating with intention. I don’t want to kick it or hang with a good guy even though he’s not my person. I was done with all of that. So I’m “laying down the law” in my eyes, and he didn’t flinch. He let me finish and basically let me know we were on the same page. He was not trying to sow his royal oats.
Jason: Yeah, I was not trying to be Prince Akeem. But also, it was more so about setting a tone and goal for myself. My mama always told me to set my goals. And having a family was always one of mine. I think the biggest thing of it all, was I felt blessed – in terms of moving for work and meeting Elise, now being married. There’s victories being placed in my life.
I love that you both shared that because sometimes I get feedback on these stories and it seems like sometimes we’re afraid to really voice what we desire, no matter what that looks like.
Elise: Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
Jason: I think her sharing those values resonated with me, and hearing her “lay down the law” was fine because I was there, too. I would say to millennial women, don’t be afraid to tell a mate what you want. You never know what that would lead to. Time is a precious commodity. Elise saying that early on showed me that she values both of our time. It showed her heart, character, and integrity, and I was drawn to that and the mature conversation. In the social media world, we don’t have those pointed conversations face-to-face. I would challenge readers to have those conversations in person, and you would get more from that convo than any post or reel. Because you see body language reactions and have deeper communication.
Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
You both have mentioned time, family, and integrity. I’m curious what other core values do you both share?
Elise: Early on, our faith. Not just do you believe in God. It had to be deeper in that. I needed someone who would lead me, our home, and our family. I didn’t want to be in a push-and-pull relationship about prayer, church, or have conversations about being better people. Also, we discussed finances. That doesn’t just mean going to work. We chatted about ownership and what it looks like for us. How do we support each other individually and together? I know I like having my hands in a few different pots, and I needed someone who was supportive of that and likewise.
Jason: My background is that I was raised in the church. My father is a deacon and my mom is a deaconess. They've been married for 55 years. Faith was very important to me and it was crucial that my wife have that relationship as well.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Can we talk about challenges? Big or small, what are some things you had to grow through together?
Elise: I have never lived with anyone – not a roommate, a sister, friend, boyfriend or anything. Now, I’m in my 40s and I'm living with someone. When you’ve been by yourself for so long that was a challenge for both of us. We weren’t pulling each other's hair out but I’m a bit extreme. Things are color-coded in my closet. For me, working in news is chaotic so I want my home to be peaceful and organized.
Jason: I’m a man, and she’s a woman. That dynamic alone adds a flair to it. She wants things a certain way. She’s a Capricorn. But just in terms of how she wants to keep a home was a big adjustment for me. It took time.
On a smaller level, what are some of the things you disagree about day-to-day?
Elise: Cleanliness and systems. Like, he recycles and I do not. But sometimes I just have to decide if it really needs to be a thing or if I can just take care of it.
Jason: This is where my organization takes over (laughs).
What are your love languages? Do you know?
Elise: Jason’s is an act of service which works because I love cooking for him. It doesn’t feel like a chore to me. I love when I’m out, picking up his favorite juice. The other day I saw he needed t-shirts while folding clothes. So I just like doing small things for him that he doesn’t expect. He’s very much that guy that will ask to help so it doesn’t bother me.
Jason: I’d say Elise is all of them, but physical touch would probably be the biggest one. I had to get used to that. She’s taught me it in a number of ways. I remember we actually talked about love languages, and I sent her this song called “More Than Words” by Extreme. That explained to her how I felt.
Finally, can we end with the proposal? Tell us everything!
Jason: It was at a restaurant. And again, I was trying to find somewhere she hadn’t been. Also, I didn’t want to do it on our anniversary because that would have been too obvious. I contacted one of the restaurant’s staff and decided to change up the dessert menu. Each item was something special to us.
Elise: We go on so many date nights, so I just thought it was a regular night. We had finished eating, and I had to go to the bathroom. They had a nice mirror, girl. So I’m in there taking videos and stuff.
Jason: While she’s in the restroom, I’m getting everything in place with the waitress.
Elise: So as I’m reading the menu, I realize it’s telling our story and he eventually proposed. It was so special; I actually had the menu framed! It was so beautiful and thoughtful.
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Sexual compatibility is one of the more spicier sides to Astrology that most people haven’t heard of. These are the details you get to once you have learned about your “Big 3” (sun, moon, and rising sign), and want to dive deeper into what Astrology can really tell you about yourself. Why not have more of an understanding of your sexual chemistry with others and what excites you in bed? Astrology not only gives you a blueprint of what your best match is in love, professionally and platonically, but it also provides insight into who you are most sexually compatible with.
When discovering more aspects of yourself through the stars, you don’t want to overlook the power of this celestial study when it comes to the bedroom.
There are a few key components you want to look at when it comes to sexual compatibility in Astrology. Your traditional sun and moon sign first and foremost, as this simple aspect can tell you a lot about who you are, your emotions, and your needs; Mars, the planet that rules sex in Astrology; Venus, the planet that rules love in Astrology; the 8th house, the astrological house that rules sex, sexuality, and sensuality; the 5th house, the astrological house that rules romance, flirtation, and sex. And lastly, you can also look at where Scorpio is in your birth chart, the sign that rules the reproductive system.
Read below to see who you're best sexually compatible with. (Read for your sun, moon, Mars, and Venus signs.)
ARIES
Like all fire signs, Aries needs a lot of heat in the bedroom. Aries are ruled by Mars, the planet of sex, passion, and energy, so you can be sure that this sign has a high sex drive. Aries love the spontaneity of sex, and they have a lot of fun in this area of life. Sexual compatibility is high with fellow fire signs, Leo and Sagittarius, and the same element makes the best match for an Aries overall. They want someone who is going to be just as intense and exciting in the bedroom, and they find that with Leo and Sagittarius.
Scorpios also make good matches for Aries being that they are sitting in Aries’ 8th house of sexuality. A dynamic duo like Aries and Scorpio brings not just the heat, but also an emotional connection as well.
Best sexual compatibility with Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, Aquarius, and Scorpio.
TAURUS
Taurus are no strangers to the bedroom. This is a very sensual sign whose love language is physical touch (and gift-giving). They love to feel wanted and needed in the bedroom and prefer for the atmosphere to be set with candles, roses, and chocolates. This is a sign that take their time in bed, and they want both parties to feel good first and foremost. One of the best matches for Taurus, sexually is their opposite sign, Scorpio. These two bring together earth and water and create a good balance in bed.
Leos and Taurus are often drawn to each other, and there is an underlying sexual tension between these two. Virgos are also high on the scale of compatibility with Taurus, and they have a sexual chemistry that is comfortable and sincere, which is what Taurus is looking for.
Best sexual compatibility with Scorpio, Virgo, Cancer, Leo, and Sagittarius.
GEMINI
Gemini is a wildcard in the bedroom. No two Geminis are the same, and this is true when it comes to sexual chemistry. However, there are a few key components Geminis look for when it comes to sex. They want to be with someone who is completely and authentically themselves and someone who isn’t shy in the bedroom. They do well with Sagittariuses as they can match each other’s freaks. However, they also have a unique chemistry with Capricorns, who are in their 8th house of sensuality. Capricorns and Geminis are like two different people, teaching each other something new, and they have a lot of fun. One of the best matches for Gemini overall, though, would be another air sign, Aquarius.
Best sexual compatibility with Libra, Aquarius, Sagittarius, Aries, and Capricorn.
CANCER
Cancer is the type to keep their love life and sexual world hidden or more secret than most. They don’t let others in easily, and deeply value keeping this part of their life hidden or sacred. They look for partners who are devoted to them or are showing this type of dedication and attraction to them in the bed. They have amazing chemistry with other water signs, Pisces, and Scorpio, and often form intense and emotional bonds with these signs in bed. They also love to show off their wild side with signs like Aquarius and Virgo, as they see these intellectuals as people needing to let loose and get into their emotions more, and they want to be the one to help them do that.
Capricorns are one of the best matches for Cancer overall because they won’t rush anything and will be able to form a deep connection with Cancer first and foremost, which would make their sexual chemistry off the charts.
Best sexual compatibility with Pisces, Capricorn, Scorpio, Virgo, and Aquarius.
LEO
Leos are more traditional in the bedroom than most people expect. Like all fire signs, they have a passion and self-confidence that is undeniable, but in the bedroom, they want to be treated like the royalty they are. Leos love to be courted or to be shown how adored and admired they are. They go well with Geminis because of this, as this air sign is often a talker in bed, and will never miss an opportunity to whisper something sweet in their ear. Leos also have a soft spot for Pisces in the bedroom, and this water sign tends to bring out a more kinky and sensual side to Leo.
One of the best sexual matches for Leo overall would be Sagittarius, who Leo feels is someone who can truly match their energy.
Best sexual compatibility with Leo, Sagittarius, Aquarius, Gemini, and Pisces.
VIRGO
Virgos are the definition of a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets. Being represented by the Virgin or the Maiden in Astrology, people often have Virgos sexuality misconstrued. Their typical organized self goes out the window when they are comfortable with someone sexually, and their service-oriented attitude makes them some of the best lovers in bed. Virgos have a sincere and compatible connection with other earth signs, Taurus and Capricorn. Earth signs have a way of making everything feel better, and there is a lot of touching between these signs.
Cancers also have great sexual compatibility with Virgos, as they have similar styles and needs in the bedroom. Virgos have instant sexual compatibility with Scorpios, and this is a very common combo you see in life.
Best sexual compatibility with Scorpio, Taurus, Capricorn, Cancer, and Aries.
LIBRA
Opposites attract when it comes to Libra in the bedroom. This sign is always looking for balance, and they find that with a partner who brings something different to the table than they do. This makes their opposite sign, Aries, the sign that rules their 5th house of romance and flirtation, one of their best matches when it comes to sexual compatibility. Libra loves foreplay. They enjoy dressing up, role-playing, and a lot of talking in the bedroom, which makes Gemini and Aquarius another great match for Libra, because they also don’t keep quiet in bed.
Taurus has one of the best sexual compatibility for Libra, overall, however, as they are both ruled by Venus, the planet of love. These two quite literally have the capacity to not just have sex, but make love to one another, which is the most ideal for Libra.
Best sexual compatibility with Leo, Aries, Aquarius, Taurus, and Gemini.
SCORPIO
Scorpios are known for their reputation in the bedroom. When people think of Scorpio, they often think of sexy energy, and this is because Scorpio quite literally rules the reproductive system and the 8th house of sex in Astrology. They are no strangers in the bedroom, and they are people who know what they want. Scorpio and Pisces often have an instant connection, and these two are usually rushing into bed with one another.
Another sign that surprisingly flows well with Scorpio in bed is Geminis, who provide Scorpio with a non-judgmental atmosphere that makes them feel in tune and sexy. Scorpio has high sexual compatibility with earth signs: Virgo, Capricorn, and Taurus, as they show Scorpio a more sensual and grounded approach that is enticing to them.
Best sexual compatibility with Pisces, Virgo, Capricorn, Gemini, and Taurus.
SAGITTARIUS
Sagittariuses aren’t the pickiest in the bedroom and just like they can get along with anyone if they want to, the same fact applies in bed. They are looking for a more immediate and instant attraction than anything; however, just because you got them once doesn’t mean you can get them again. Sagittarius are wanderers, and they are constantly seeking new stimulation. This is why they have such strong sexual chemistry with Aries, who are also more spontaneous in the bedroom.
They are very flirtatious and want things to be fun and light-hearted here, and they find that chemistry with Aries. Sagittarius also has a soft spot for Cancers in bed, and they let out their more sincere, compassionate, and deep side for this water sign.
Best sexual compatibility with Libra, Aries, Sagittarius, Aquarius, and Cancer.
CAPRICORN
If you can get Capricorn to take their mind off work and focus on intimacy in the bedroom, then you are already a great match for this logical sign. They don’t open up to many people, and some Capricorns can approach sex as a duty rather than a desire or a connection. This is why this sign does so well with water signs in bed like Cancer, Pisces, and Scorpio because these are people who know how to let go of the mind and live in their emotions for a while.
Capricorns also have strong sexual compatibility with Taurus and Leo because there is a sense of dominance imbalance here that is sexy to Capricorn. Leo and Capricorn both want to take the lead in bed, and they have fun playing around with each other and teasing.
Best sexual compatibility with Taurus, Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces, and Leo.
AQUARIUS
Aquarius is a more sexually inclined individual than most people would assume. They are known for their mind, intelligence, and eccentricity, but this doesn’t mean they don’t have the same amount of intelligence and knowledge when it comes to sex. Aquarius are very intuitive in the bedroom, which makes their compatibility with Virgo so strong here. These two know what each other needs without saying anything, and they have a lot to bring to the table.
Gemini, on the other hand, brings out a wild side to Aquarius, and they have a lot of fun in bed and even more to talk about afterwards. Aquarius has one of the best sexual compatibility with Aries, as they can open up to each other about their weird kinks or needs in bed in a judgment-free zone.
Best sexual compatibility with Aries, Gemini, Libra, Leo, and Virgo.
PISCES
Pisces are more fluid and open in the bedroom. Their sexual compatibility deals with emotions first and foremost, and they look for an emotional connection in their partners, no matter how long or short they have known them. They are one of the signs who doesn’t really have a “type,” and they are most attracted to generally nice and romantic people. Earth signs Taurus and Virgo have great sexual chemistry with Pisces, as there is a good give-and-take between them. Scorpios bring out Pisces' freakier side, and the imagination of these two definitely shows in the bedroom.
Pisces' best match sexually would be Cancer, as these two have a more erotic and romantic type of connection here. They are slow lovers and have such a strong bond sexually because of the emotional compatibility they have as well.
Best sexual compatibility with Cancer, Scorpio, Virgo, Taurus, and Libra.
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