

Six months after joining Black Everywhere’s online wellness community, I remember feeling like I’d reached some sort of pinnacle. I lost a noticeable amount of weight, got my meal and exercise routines back on track, and was sharing resources with other Black folks on their own journeys. Baby, I was lit!
I truly didn’t anticipate any further improvements to my mental and physical health—until Kendra Patton, a physician assistant and holistic health coach, affectionately offered her Fruit As Medicine detox to the group. The program’s “eat fruit for five weeks” protocol was a tall order. “I can only eat fruit? For five weeks straight? I don’t know about that…”
I had never heard of the concept that eating fruit alone could heal your gut, and I wasn’t too excited about putting the concept into action. I was already on a plant-based diet, and those restrictions felt like more than enough; I gave up chicken for God’s sake! I was incredibly apprehensive, but Patton’s deep kindness helped ease me into the unknown.
Patton’s comprehensive FAM Detox includes a gradual introduction to the all-fruit diet, a series of targeted cleanses, herbal supplement recommendations, a 10-step daily wellness protocol, and a gradual return to other foods. Each cohort is a community where people can navigate their detox journeys together. By the end of the program, I released so many toxins I had no idea were inside of me.
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“The really beautiful thing about fruit is that it purges,” Patton says. “It helps your cells to get rid of toxins and waste. In layman's terms, it helps each of your cells; we have like 300 trillion cells. It helps them all to poop.” Even from an anatomical standpoint, human beings are hardwired for high fruit consumption—when you take our mildly sharp teeth, average hand size, and the length of our digestive tract into consideration. Fruit’s benefits to the body are also twofold. “The other beautiful thing is it's purging you out, however, it's also providing you with antioxidants and nutrients and vitamins.”
Off the bat, the FAM Detox gave me a new respect for grapes. A week after transitioning into the fruit diet, Patton’s first targeted cleanse involved a week of solely consuming grapes. “Grape week” as she calls it, highlights the fruit’s powerful micronutrients, making for a deep and effective colon cleanse. It was during this week that I found my first stomach-churning surprise in the toilet: I’d passed a large piece of fat. “Detoxing is gross,” Patton admits despite urging her clients to examine their poop. “You realize the level of nastiness that you have accumulated over the years—whether that be through mucus, gallstones, liver flukes, parasites, long worms, or even just that old toxic, stale waste that looks like leather that's been sitting in your body for years.”
"Detoxing is gross. You realize the level of nastiness that you have accumulated over the years."
Once I was past the discomfort, I started to notice that the FAM Detox was helping me build a more intimate relationship with my body. Coupled with taking a closer look at my stool, Patton also prescribes a set of daily wellness protocols to help keep the body’s detox pathways open. She recommends practices like breathwork, movement, saunas/hot baths, dry brushing, and enemas to help toxins make their exit.
“We focus on opening up the liver, the skin, the colon, the kidneys, and the lungs very specifically. And then we also open up the lymphatic system,” she explains. “You really should not detox and cleanse without those systems being opened, because what happens is you’ll eat all this fruit and high vibrational food, then the toxins will just be released into your circulatory system, into your blood.”
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Patton’s program makes intentional use of naivete; she gently leads clients through the process by presenting new information gradually. I was indeed more naive than I should have been about the various ways healing can really hurt. The FAM Detox introduced me to the term “healing crisis,” which describes the phenomena of symptoms worsening before they improve.
While headaches, nausea, and body aches were all par for the course, the daily wellness protocols also provided plenty of relief. There was, however, one hot bath that brought me more healing than I bargained for one night. After adding ginger to the tub for an extra detox boost, I found myself crying uncontrollably. I was incredibly grateful to have a community to turn to while releasing years of stored grief.
“Detoxing is such a spiritual and emotional effort that when you are doing it alone, it can really feel like you're going through your dark night of the soul by yourself,” Patton says. “And you probably are. If you're doing it correctly, you probably feel low at certain points.” Before the FAM Detox liver and gallbladder cleanse, she shares a concept founded in ancient Chinese medicine: we store feelings of anger in our livers.
For this cleanse, we avoided fatty fruits for four days before drinking a mix of olive oil and grapefruit. It was definitely a point where tensions ran high; I passed a series of tiny green-colored gallstones thereafter.
By the program’s final “master” cleanse—which features gallons of water, lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper concoction—I’d traversed every bodily “ick” possible. I was dauntless when I passed a long, white parasite. I snapped a pic of that bad boy, feeling a deep sense of pride. After successfully ridding my body of toxins for a month and a half, I was forever changed. By the time Patton was leading us back into consuming other foods, my relationship with food and my body had been changed in one fell swoop.
“When people trust me, I do not take it for granted,” Patton notes. “And so the fact that people trust me on this journey, I think I found my purpose, and I found my passion. People can read that. People can sense it. They sense I believe in my work, and that I've done it for myself, and I have dozens of testimonials now of people who have trusted me, too.“
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Originally published on May 21, 2024
'Sistas' Star Skyh Black On The Power Of Hypnotherapy & Emotional Vulnerability For Men
In this insightful episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Sistas star Skyh Black, as he opened up about his journey of emotional growth, resilience, and self-discovery. The episode touches on emotional availability, self-worth, masculinity, and the importance of therapy in overcoming personal struggles.
Skyh Black on Emotional Availability & Love
On Emotional Availability & Vulnerability
“My wife and I wouldn't be where we are today if both of us weren't emotionally available,” he shared about his wife and Sistas co-star KJ Smith, highlighting the value of vulnerability and emotional openness in a relationship. His approach to masculinity stands in contrast to the traditional, stoic ideals. Skyh is not afraid to embrace softness as part of his emotional expression.
On Overcoming Self-Doubt & Worthiness Issues
Skyh reflected on the self-doubt and worthiness issues that he struggled with, especially early in his career. He opens up about his time in Los Angeles, living what he calls the “LA struggle story”—in a one-bedroom with three roommates—and being homeless three times over the span of 16 years. “I always had this self-sabotaging thought process,” Skyh said. “For me, I feel therapy is essential, period. I have a regular therapist and I go to a hypnotherapist.”
How Therapy Helped Him Heal From Self-Doubt
On Hypnotherapy & Empowering Self-Acceptance
Skyh’s journey is a testament to the power of tapping into self-development despite life’s struggles and being open to growth. “I had to submit to the fact that God was doing good in my life, and that I'm worthy of it. I had a worthiness issue and I did not realize that. So, that’s what the hypnotherapy did. It brought me back to the core. What is wrong so that I can fix it?”
Watch the full podcast episode below:
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Pack A Travel Case With These 12 Items For Amazing 'Summer Vacation Sex'
It’s kind of funny that while I’m literally in the process of writing this article, the Los Angeles Times published “How to get lucky on your family vacation” hours prior. LOL. Although this year marks a bit of a dip in the amount of Americans who plan on taking a summer vacation (because this administration ain’t making coin-keeping easy, y’all) — it’s still being reported that around 53 percent will do so in the name of rest, relaxation and spending quality time with their loved ones.
And for many, the loved ones category absolutely includes their bae. And if that is the case, that probably means that sex is somewhere on the menu.
Yep. I actually read one survey (that consisted of 2,000 people) that said folks tend to have twice as much sex while they are on vacation than they do when they’re at home. It makes sense too when you factor in that you have less to do (unless you’re traveling with those folks who act like you need an itinerary for every damn thing — and we all know one…SMDH), which makes you less stressed out, which makes it easier to feel sexy and to want to get sexual.
And so, in the spirit of that indeed being the case, I want to make sure that you carve out a corner of your suitcase or carry-on to include at least half of the following 12 things that are on this list — things that can help to make “summer vacation sex”…that much hotter, y’all.
1. Edible-Grade Sunscreen
It can’t be said enough that, no matter how melanated you may be, your skin needs sunscreen. Not only to protect yourself from the risk of skin cancer (which 1 in 5 Americans will get in their lifetime) but from premature aging that can come from sun damage too. That said, if the urge arises to have sex outside somewhere, I did find some edible-grade sunscreen, in case you’re either worried about what sex in the sun will do to your skin or how all of the chemicals in sunscreen will affect your (digestive) system. The company is called Sky & Sol and you can read up on them here.
2. Flavored Lip Balm
If you’ve ever wondered why your lips are so susceptible to being chapped, it’s because they don’t contain any oil glans to keep them moisturized. This is especially important to keep in mind when the weather is extremely cold or hot because that can do a real number on the sensitive skin that your lips are made out of. That’s why it’s essential to stay well-hydrated and to also keep some lip balm in tow. Lip balm is especially designed to moisturize your lips, reduce chapping, exfoliate, soothe irritation and protect your lips from UV damage. As a bonus, lip balm will also help to keep your lips super soft and kissable; especially if you get the flavored kind. #wink
3. Condoms
I’m still out here, literally shaking my damn head, that reportedly, only one-third of men and one-fourth of women use condoms (and even many of those folks don’t do it consistently). It can’t be said enough that if you’re not in a monogamous (married) or exclusive (dating) relationship where you both are getting regularly tested and are on some other form of birth control (unless you want to get pregnant) — you absolutely should be using condoms and, as a woman, you should not solely rely on your partner to have some that are ready and available.
Not just because you should be responsible for your body and health but because not all condoms are made equal, so you should bring along some that you prefer/enjoy. If you’d like a lil’ help picking those out, check out “These Are The Kinds Of Condoms Your Vagina Would Actually Prefer.”
4. Crotchless Swimsuit
Packing some sexy lingerie? I certainly hope that goes without saying. If you’ve got a hot tub around, though and you want to “get it in” without getting totally naked (so that nosey people won’t see every damn thing), you do know that there are some crotchless swimsuits out in these streets, right? An example of one is here. Of course, you can always do what Beyoncé said in “Drunk in Love” and just move ish over to the side but…I’m just giving you another creative option…if you wanted one.
5. Blindfolds
If you’d like to cultivate an atmosphere of mystery or anticipation, a simple blindfold will do the trick. There is another reason why I think they are great for summer vacation (sex) trips, though — if your hotel room doesn’t come with blackout curtains and you want to have a quickie or two without the room being so bright, putting on a blindfold can solve that “problem” too.
6. Waterproof Sex Toys
Who said that you have to wait until you get to your hotel room to engage in some foreplay? If you bring a couple of sex toys around, you can tease each other practically anywhere — and if they are waterproof, that includes in the ocean or pool. Some, you can pair up with your smartphone in order to stimulate your partner from just about anywhere. Whew, chile.
7. Homemade Sex Toys Too
Speaking of sex toys, you’d probably be amazed at how many things in your house can double up as one. A spatula or wooden spoon is great for spanking. A necktie, some tights and a pair of clothespins work well for BDSM (use your imagination, sis). An electronic toothbrush is its own vibrator. A string of (lubricated) pearls in between your thighs? Girrrl…GIRL. Oh, and cop a silicone ice tray that comes in different shapes.
When you are rubbing ice in the shape of fruit, flowers or even animals over each other’s bodies, you’ll be surprised by how the combination of the cold with the texture of the space of the ice will stimulate you (make the ice out of juice instead of water for an extra sweet treat!).
8. Portable Charger
I don’t know what took me so long to get a damn portable charger but it’s one of the best things that ever happened to me. What I personally purchased is the ANKER Zolo Power Bank, 20,000mAh 30W High-Speed Portable Charger. I can throw it in my purse, it charges fast, I can use more than once before needing to recharge it; plus, it complements most devices. A great thing to keep in mind, so that your sex toys don’t end up going out on you while you’re…wherever you are.
9. Massage Oil Candle
Going through security at the airport can be a HEADACHE. And while, how long it can take, oftentimes varies on the airport you’re at and the time you are traveling (you can read more about that here), the process is going to be especially annoying if they have to go through your bags. Since you can currently only pack a quarter-sized bag of liquid products on your carry-on, my two cents would be to leave the massage oil at home and pack a massage oil candle instead.
That way, you can still engage in some temperature play (check out “Hot Sex: 10 Super Sultry Reasons To Bring Wax Play Into Your Bedroom”) while you’re on the road without going through any security hassle hang-ups. Some edible massage oil candles are located right here.
10. Wine Cooler Sleeve
Say that you end up going on a wine tasting tour while you’re on vacation and you end up purchasing a bottle or you simply want to toast with some champagne but you’re not sure how to store the bottle. Did you know that there are wine cooler sleeves that are lightweight, portable and will help to keep your bottles cold without condensation for hours on end? A brand that comes highly recommended is here.
11. Rose Petals
I think there are a few reasons why rose petals are oftentimes used to create a sexy mood. Red symbolizes love and passion. Rose petals are soft to the touch. The scent of them is considered to be an aphrodisiac as well. For all of these reasons, bring along some fresh rose petals for your hotel bed. If you put a damp paper towel in something like a small Tupperware container and then place the rose petals inside of that, they won’t dry out quickly which will make them feel great once you’re ready to start rolling around in them (you can also keep them in your hotel room’s fridge to further extend their shelf life).
12. Mints
Morning sex. Outdoor sex. Whatever kind of sex — it’s always going to be better when your breath and his smell good. And just so you don’t have to lug around a big bottle of mouthwash, pack some mints. Altoids are always going to be my number one draft pick — yet go with whatever are your personal faves. They’re the perfect hack for unbelievable summer vacation sex. Wouldn’t you agree? Enjoy!
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