

Whether you love, hate, or feel indifferent about your job, incorporating wellness is still important. Research has shown that burnout and stress are "at an all-time high." The American Psychological Association reports that 36% of workers "reported cognitive weariness," 32% said they've experienced "emotional exhaustion," and 44% reported "physical fatigue"—a 38% increase since 2019. It seems cliche to continue to talk about the effects of the pandemic as well as other world events and everyday trauma, but that doesn't mean the struggle isn't indeed real for many of us as professionals.
This points to a major reason why putting your wellness first, especially during your workday, is important. Here are five smart, and several easy, ways to add a bit of relaxation and release to your day in order to combat stress and headache.
1. Ask for what you need at work.
It's oftentimes a good idea to not only plan to add activities that you love and that allow you to take a break from your work during the day (or night), but you can also ask your supervisor to make it official. Many jobs offer professionals the opportunity to section off time for prayer, meditation, or other wellness activities. You can literally make yourself unavailable for anything but a self-care activity, even if it's just taking a nap. And a huge perk to that: This isn't just "extra" time off the clock. This is paid time to rest. (Several companies offer this as part of their culture and workplace standards.)
As a freelancer, this is especially important. I often discuss certain time boundaries or my wellness values upfront with clients, and nine times out of 10, the requests are granted. Having flex-time to incorporate wellness and balance is important considering the fact that, essentially, working for yourself involves the added stress of being financially responsible for all aspects of self-employment that some folk who are employed by a company don't have to worry about.
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2. Schedule wellness activities like you'd schedule important appointments.
If you find yourself working through your lunch break or not having enough time to work out, do something fun, or simply rest, add an alarm to your phone or a calendar alert that will remind you to do these things. Sometimes simply setting a notification for wellness and self-care will help you keep yourself accountable. I often set alerts that say "Stop, breathe, and pray," on my Google calendar, and, as silly as it seems, helps me to really slow down, release the anxiety of a deadline, and take a moment for myself to reset mentally.
You can also set aside time during your 15- or 20-minute workday breaks (outside of lunch, since that time really should be spent nourishing yourself) to participate in a quick online class, meditation session, or even a massage break. The key here is to set a specific time during the day and keep to it just like you would an important meeting or business call.
3. Add a bit of fun and wonder to the way you approach your work.
Companies have used creative ways of doing a job to boost engagement and make solving problems fun. For example, gamification is used to build brand awareness, promote teamwork, and think of new products or services. If it's safe or appropriate to do so, start that next meeting with a game, dance session, or a contest. I once had a very horrible in-between-clients-and-need-to-pay-the-bills job that, while I loved interacting with coworkers and customers, just wasn't creative nor relevant to what I went to college to do for a living.
One manager had this routine where she'd require us to "hold a circle" outside for mid-week check-ins or she'd start in-office meetings with ice-breaker games that you'd typically play at dinner parties. I found it to be like a soothing balm to the mental scab of resentment and regret I felt while working at that particular company. It was also a reminder to enjoy the moment, learn the lessons, and focus on other aspects of the job that I did like i.e. my coworkers and customers.
You can do the same, even if you're not a manager, by creating a little friendly competition between you and a coworker (or even a whole team of coworkers) or including incentives to finish a project or innovate within something new. Find ways to add joy or intrigue to how you do your job. Take the work outdoors or to other settings that can get you out of the cubicle or office space and into nature, where the fresh air and sounds can do wonders for your mental and spiritual health.
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4. Find ways to partner with others.
It's very clear the wellness benefits of having healthy interactions and connections with others, especially in the workplace. And oftentimes, two heads are better than one when trying to achieve a goal. Think about ways you can team up with others to do your job versus trying to keep your head down and burn the midnight oil alone. While it's sometimes great to get all the shine and spearhead a project solo dolo, splitting the load can be better for your long-term health and for expanding your network of advocates and sponsors at the office. I found this to be super-helpful when I felt burnout creeping up due to wearing that overachiever crown at a publication I used to work for.
Not only did I gain more workplace friends (one or two who previously thought I was a snob) but it did wonders in terms of removing a lot of pressure from my day. And if you don't quite feel comfy doing this for projects that might land you that promotion you've been eyeing, try this for other initiatives such as volunteer efforts or your company's philanthropic activities. I loved participating in Steps competitions (where you'd track steps you'd take during the day and have to check in with your team at the end of the week to win a prize) or joining in for a breast cancer awareness walk with a team to help them reach their fundraising goals.
Many companies are sponsors of major health initiatives or serve as hosts for events connected to healthcare and wellness nonprofits. If yours is one of them, get on that planning committee or become an active participant. If your company isn't, be the change you want to see, and organize that team walk, field day event, partnership, or wellness retreat. For some, you might have to pitch and convince in terms of the return on investment for the company, but in these pandemic streets, that's not quite a hard sell.
5. Listen to podcasts, books, or apps while working.
Again, when it's appropriate, this can be a great way to not only enrich your mind but give yourself a mental break from work-related thoughts and activities. I like to play the Calm app's rain and mountain sounds sometimes when I hit a mental writing rut or feel a tad bit too overwhelmed. It helps me, again, calm down in times of stress, usual work-related pressure, or anxiety, and it reminds me of my favorite remote work spot: Jamaica. I get that mental push to finish up and remember who and what pays for my trips there and how grateful I am to be able to be a creative working in the space I'm in.
Whatever you choose, just remember to deliberately add joy, wellness, and balance to your workday so that you're able to enjoy the job you do regardless of its nature or the company. Whether you're ready to exit or are planning to make a move to advance where you are, you'll be mentally and spiritually prepared to take the next step.
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'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Are Your Relationships Serving You Or Sinking You? It’s Time To Take Inventory.
Relationships reflect our inner world and what we believe is possible for us. As we navigate our lives, relationships serve as invitations to do inner work with others. When we are unaware of what is happening internally, it can be a recipe for disaster. You are no longer authentic.
Sooner than later, you may feel drained, depleted, and resentful due to unmet needs and boundary violations.
When your needs aren’t met, you will serve someone else's standards while neglecting your own. This is why it is so vital that we take inventory of our relationships and assess if they are relationships that honor our needs, our boundaries, and our truth.
1. You allow yourself to build more intimacy in your relationships.
Intimacy is the heart of a healthy relationship. When we understand our partners, we build intimacy with them. Vulnerability is a conduit for emotional intimacy in safe relationships. Our relationships thrive when we feel emotionally connected and supported by our loved ones.
Nevertheless, a healthy relationship does not mean a perfect relationship, and sometimes we need to assess and address what's working in our relationships and what may need some fine-tuning. When we are open to learning, growing, and developing deeper bonds with our loved ones, we invite them to preserve our relationship through open dialogue centered around honesty, love, respect, and safety.
2. You are choosing yourself and are being honest with yourself.
When you consider spring cleaning your relationships, you offer yourself a token of love. You are communicating that YOU matter, and your feelings, energy, and the overall health of your relationships matter. Spring cleaning your relationships allows you to be there for yourself.
When we choose ourselves, we advocate for ourselves.
So many of us are starting to realize that we have every right to advocate for ourselves, even if the environment we grew up in did not support our emotional or physical well-being.
Now that we can advocate for ourselves as adults, we get to choose our relationships, not from a place of obligation or fear but from a place of reciprocity, love, and respect.
3. It can help you to get clear on things you may have suppressed.
Suppression happens when we actively push uncomfortable thoughts and feelings out of our minds. When something painful happens, and we are left with no resolve, we can suppress how we truly feel as an act of self-preservation for the relationship.
Nevertheless, with honesty also comes vulnerability with yourself. Maybe you have been unhappy in certain relationships for a while, but it was too painful to address, or maybe you have been suppressing how you feel because that is what is expected of you in your relationships.
Although concealing your feelings may protect you from experiencing them, keep in mind that the body stores all of our emotions. There can be serious long-term side effects of emotional suppression, such as physical ailments linked to autoimmune disease.
Our mind, body, and heart are all interconnected, so assessing your relationships through spring cleaning not only improves your overall wellness but can also prevent anxiety, depression, and other chronic illnesses.
4. You can reflect on how you’re showing up in your relationships.
This one is my favorite! Spring cleaning your relationships gives you an opportunity to see yourself more clearly. If you are going through an imaginary checklist of what everyone in your life is doing wrong, you may be a part of the problem. Spring cleaning your relationships is not about what everyone else is doing wrong; it’s about accountability.
Take this time to reflect on how you show up in your relationships.
Are you kind and respectful to your loved ones? Do you honor their boundaries? What can you do to improve? How can you become a better listener? A better communicator?
Use this time to put a flashlight on your heart and take inventory of the places you love people from. Relationships are co-created, meaning both people play a role in the dynamic. Assess your role in your relationships and be the change you want to see.
5. Setting boundaries will reveal the health of your relationships.
Nedra Tawwab, the author of Setting Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself, defines boundaries as a "verbal or an action that you communicate to someone to feel safe, secure, and supported in a relationship." As we are spring-cleaning our relationships, it’s imperative that we check in with our boundaries.
As humans, we are forever evolving, growing, and changing. As we grow, the boundaries that worked for us ten years ago may no longer serve us today. This is why it is important that we communicate our boundaries as they change. People cannot read our minds, and it is unfair to expect them to, no matter how much you think they should just “know” you.
All relationships need boundaries because people need to know how we want to be treated. In healthy relationships, boundaries are honored, and differences are respected. In unhealthy relationships, boundaries are constantly violated and not taken seriously.
When you learn to set healthy boundaries and you start communicating them through your season of spring cleaning, allow your boundaries to reveal the health of your relationships. This may come with a sigh of relief, or this may come with immense grief, but I once heard someone say, “Struggling with the truth is much better than being comforted by a lie.”
Let your relationships reveal themselves to you so you can form healthier bonds, repair broken bonds, or release connections that no longer serve you.
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Feature image by dragana991/ Getty Images
Originally published on March 24, 2023