

Geeze. Talk about totally missing the forest for the trees. Even though we pride ourselves in providing as many sexual tips and tricks as possible, it actually wasn't until I recently read an article about how one's profession can have a direct effect on the quality of sex that they have that I even thought to put the two things together.
After doing a little research, it really does make sense that no matter how many cool ideas, positions, or techniques we introduce you to, it's not gonna matter much if you're totally stressed TF out most of the time. And, for a lot of folks out here, the main cause of their stress is directly connected to where they get their paycheck from. So, you know what that means, sis.
If you currently hate your job, another reason to start putting a plan together to find a new one is it could be standing in between you and your orgasms. I know, right? Talk about the motivation that you need to update your LinkedIn profile.
How Much Can Hating Your Job Hinder Your Sex Life?
OK, so here's the sad truth of it all. There are reports that indicate that as much as 85 percent of people in the world—and 70 percent of Americans—hate their job. 85 freakin' percent. The reasons? They actually vary. Some people don't feel engaged. Others don't feel valued and appreciated. For some, the work is cool, but their co-workers and management staff drive them completely up the wall. Still there are those who hate how long the commute is, that there isn't any real opportunity to move up in the company or—shocker of all shockers—the pay is too low. There's also what I personally believe is a core reason for a lot of folks; it's the fact that they would rather use their time, expertise and resources to build up their own empire instead of someone else's. Whatever the case may be, when you spend most of your waking hours doing something that doesn't bring true fulfillment into your life, that is bound to bring stress into your space. And stress? Stress can do a number on you in a myriad of ways. One of them being your sex life.
Just how concerned should you be about this being a part of your own reality? I'll share with you some findings from a study that I recently read, then let you decide. According to a research review, when they asked approximately 800 people how their job impacted their sex life, 83 percent with low-stress jobs said they were totally satisfied with their sex life while a mere 60 percent with high-stress jobs stated that they could say the same. Not only that, but 74 percent of individuals said that they actually turned down sex, not because of the sex itself, but because of how work-related stress impacted them. 74 percent.
When these same people were asked if they felt that work-related stress had a long-term impact on their sex life, while only 10 percent with low-stress jobs said it did, a whopping 54 percent of people with high-stress jobs agreed. Also, folks with a low-stress job had sex around 10 times each month while individuals with high-stress jobs did, eh, somewhere around seven. Oh, and get this: If you are in a relationship with someone who has a high-stress job, you're twice as likely to get yourself some—have mercy—only once a month.
Oh, there's more, boo. While people on low-stress jobs are able to climax 79 percent of the time, that drops 10 percent for those with high-stress gigs. Twenty percent of men with high-stress positions have trouble performing from time to time while only nine percent of men with low-stress ones do. Out of all of the stuff that I read in this particular study, I think what stood out to me the most is the fact that while only 28 percent of people who did low-stress work felt like their sex life was on the ho-hum routine side of things, 46 percent of individuals who did highly stressful work felt that way.
In a nutshell, high-stress work—and if you hate your job, you are most definitely stressed out on some level—causes your sex life to tank. It's all right here and black and white.
This data actually piqued my curiosity. Are there literal professions that lead to better sex than others? Seek and ye shall find, chile. Indeed, there are.
What Jobs (Reportedly) Have the Best Sex, the Least Sex, and the Most Cheaters?
Now, just to be upfront, this is based on a UK survey (I couldn't find a US one; sorry). However, according to it, farmers have a great sex life (33 percent claim to have it once a day!). Then it's architects (21 percent have it daily) and hairdressers (17 percent have it once a day). I think it's actually hilarious that, as a writer, I'm sharing this, but the poll says that journalists seem to get it in the least while lawyers are the hardest to please. (I could totally see that. They dissect everything for a living.) That's some pretty interesting stuff, right?
I'm a digger by nature so, knowing all of this got me to wondering about if certain jobs somehow influence whether or not it is harder for someone to be faithful. Now there was a US survey for that. The list is a little long, so I'll just touch on the top-tier folks. It would appear that 23 percent of female doctors and nurses tend to cheat due to, take a guess—stress. As far as the fellas go, 29 percent of men in a trade profession do because of their irregular hours. Twelve percent of female teachers and 12 percent of men in IT took the second spot. (No real explanation was given, but perhaps it's to break up their daily routine?) For both men and women, third place went to entrepreneurs, mostly because---both personally as well as professionally---they like things to go their way at all times. Fascinating.
Know More. Do Better.
And just what should you do now that you can't unsee any of what you just read? For starters, don't get paranoid and assume that if you're a teacher, you're bound to cheat at some point, or if your man just announced that he wants to start a business that it's code for wanting to have a couple of chicks on the side; the latter was mere food for thought. If anything, I think if you happen to see any parallels between stress at your job and how it is affecting your sex life, it's time to do some serious reevaluating and possible restructuring. What I mean by that is, if you're unhappy at the office and then you come home and sex seems a little "off", don't just brush it off as a coincidence. There's plenty of data to support that the two things could very well go hand in hand.
And no, I'm not telling you that an orgasm trumps paying rent. But what I am saying is don't fool yourself into believing that you can't climb the walls and pay your bills. You most certainly can do both.
Besides, life is too short to be hating your job, and sex is too good to be having a scaled-down version of it. Hmph. Like I said from the jump—if you loathe your workplace and your sex life isn't quite where you want it to be 1) you're not alone and 2) now you've got another excellent reason to update your resume and prepare to bounce. Let the stressful job go so that you can do what you love—at work and in the bedroom. You feel me? Girl, I know you do.
Feature image by Shutterstock
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Celebrity Engagements Of 2025: All The Stars Who Locked It Down This Year (So Far!)
February might be in the rearview, but love is most definitely still in the air as the gworls are getting wifed up left and right. We love love over here at xoNecole, and 2025 is already shaping up to be a year full of celebrity engagements. Zendaya had the innanet in a chokehold when she kicked off award season flashing a stunning rock on her ring finger, and more recently, Normani announced her engagement to long-time partner DK Metcalf.
As more of our faves take that next step to saying "I do," keep reading for all the couples who got engaged in 2025. Stay tuned!
Every Celebrity Engagement of 2025 (So Far)
Normani and DK Metcalf
“Hold that rock up, baby!” That’s how DK Metcalf casually dropped the news of his engagement to singer Normani while speaking during a press conference that followed the announcement of his trade from the Seattle Seahawks to the Pittsburgh Steelers in a five-year, $150 million contract. And just like that, we all wanted in the group chat.
But before this love story led to a ring, it had to have its start. And for that, we can thank Ciara and Russell Wilson. The couple's mutual friends played matchmakers for Normani, 28, and DK, 27, bringing them together at a party for Ciara’s rum brand after DK had already manifested their love years earlier. “Me and Ciara are really close, and Russell and DK were teammates on the Seattle Seahawks,” Normani shared with Vogue.
“About two years prior to us even meeting, they were playing music videos in the locker room, and ‘Motivation’ ended up popping up on the screen. DK said, ‘The moment I saw you come up on that screen, I said, ‘That's going to be my wife.’’” At the time, Normani was in a relationship, but two years later, Ciara made sure the stars aligned. “I ended up going [to the party], and lo and behold, he ended up being there, and the rest is history.”
As for the actual proposal, DK had been planning it for over a year—initially hoping to pop the question during a family trip to Turks & Caicos. But with Normani focused on her album at the time, he decided to wait for the perfect moment. That moment came on March 12 during another family trip, this time to Houston, where he surprised her with an intimate proposal surrounded by their loved ones. To say that Normani was shocked is an understatement. “I was like, ‘Baby, you knew for over a year?’” she recalled to the publication. “To get anything past me for over a year is crazy!”
Swooning!
Winnie Harlow and Kyle Kuzma
There might be something in the water in Turks & Caicos because while DK Metcalf had dreams of proposing to Normani there, Kyle Kuzma made it happen for Winnie Harlow this past Valentine's Day. The NBA star popped the question to his longtime love in the same place they took their first baecation back in 2022, a trip that, according to Kyle, cemented his plan to propose to the fashion model one day.
The Milwaukee Bucks player went all out for the occasion, chartering a private jet decked out with roses, balloons, chocolates, and champagne, all of which Winnie assumed was just an elaborate Valentine’s Day surprise. But the real moment came when Kyle, 29, read Winnie, 30, a heartfelt poem he had written, which ended with the words, “Will you be my wife?” The 8.5-carat oval-cut engagement ring that accompanied it sealed the deal.
The couple celebrated with a dreamy beachfront dinner, fireworks lighting up the sky as Winnie held up her ring in disbelief. She later shared the news with her fans on Instagram in a post, writing “To eternity” alongside a carousel of photos capturing the magical moment.
Amber "AD" Smith and Ollie Sutherland
If you know the Love Is Blind lore, this engagement announcement is going to hit a little different. After all, AD Smith and Ollie Sutherland both made it to the altar in their respective seasons, but not with each other. Now, in a full-circle plot twist for the ages, the two reality stars found love off-screen, and they just made it official.
During the recent Love Is Blind reunion special, AD and Ollie dropped the bombshell news that they’re engaged! The couple met while filming the upcoming season of Netflix's Perfect Match, but while we don’t know all the ins and outs of how their love story began (yet!), we do know where they are now. The pair opened up more about their engagement on AD’s podcast, What’s the Reality?, while Ollie took to Instagram to hard launch their love with a collab post captioned, “THIS is how you do a hard launch! 💍 #TheSutherlands.”
After everything they’ve been through in their respective Love Is Blind journeys, AD and Ollie are proof that sometimes, love finds you when and where you least expect it. And we’re always here for a second chance at true love.
Paige Hurd and Royce O' Neal
Paige Hurd is engaged, y'all! The actress, known most recently for her work in Power Book II: Ghost, and Phoenix Suns forward Royce O’Neale are officially tying the knot following a romantic proposal in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.
Their love story feels like something straight out of a rom-com. Paige, 32, had just sworn off dating, fully focused on her faith and personal growth—then, boom, in walks Royce, 31, to change everything. “Nice as can be,” she recalled in a PEOPLE exclusive, though she initially only saw him as a friend. But Royce? He had a very different vision of who he saw her as in his life. “She was my lifelong crush,” he admitted. “A couple years ago, I told my friends, ‘One day I’ll meet her, date her, and marry her.’ Of course, they thought I was joking, but I was serious.”
Fast forward to February 13, and that longtime manifestation became reality. During an intimate oceanfront dinner at the Viceroy Riviera Maya, surrounded by candlelight and rose petals, Paige was served a slice of red velvet cake with “Will you marry me?” written on the plate. And their journey to a lifetime is only beginning.
From childhood crush to future husband, Royce spoke this love into existence. And with Paige calling him “the most thoughtful, down-to-earth, gentle man I’ve ever known,” it’s clear this is a love story written in the stars.
Jilly Anais and DeShaun Watson
Jilly Anais and her longtime love DeShaun Watson are officially engaged! The Cleveland Browns quarterback popped the question to the singer/content creator with the help of a gorgeous beachside backdrop. On March 16, the couple announced the news in a collab Instagram post, where Jilly beamed ear to ear while showing off her massive diamond ring. “Mrs. Watson loading…” she captioned the post, sending friends, fans, and NFL teammates into a frenzy.
Their love story first began in 2019 when Watson slid into Jilly’s IG DMs, and they’ve been inseparable ever since. From celebrating career wins to house-hunting together on Selling Sunset, these two have been building a life together—and now, wedding bells are otw.
Kyle Massey and Hana Giraldo
From Disney Channel star to fiancé, Kyle Massey is officially an engaged man! The That’s So Raven and Cory in the House alum popped the question to his longtime love, Hana Giraldo, daughter of rock legend Pat Benatar and Neil Giraldo.
Hana announced the big news on Instagram, writing, “IM ENGAGED 💍 to my best friend, my soulmate, and my forever @kylemassey. A lifetime of love, laughter, and adventure begins now! I love you so much Xo.” The couple, who have been together for years, couldn’t be happier to step into this next chapter together. “I'm marrying my best friend, this is a dream come true,” Hana shared.
DeVon Franklin and Maria Castillo
DeVon Franklin and celebrity trainer Maria Castillo are engaged! The preacher and producer proposed during a romantic getaway in Maui on December 27, 2024, but the couple kept their engagement under wraps until February 2025 (which is why they are on this list), when they shared the news exclusively with PEOPLE.
DeVon, 46, gave them the deets of how he pulled off the ultimate surprise. As they posed on a grassy cliff for what she thought was a regular photo shoot, DeVon turned to Maria, 29, and told his bride-to-be, “You know, this whole time has really been an engagement photo shoot.” Shocked, Maria dropped to the ground before DeVon got down on one knee to pop the big question. “Finding Maria has been one of God’s greatest blessings in my life, so I wanted the proposal to be as special as our love,” DeVon told PEOPLE. “It was truly a magical moment, and I can’t wait to spend a magical life with Maria!”
The couple, who were introduced by a mutual friend last year, have been inseparable ever since. “To know I’ll be spending the rest of my life with this incredible man is a dream come true,” Maria shared with the outlet.
Zendaya and Tom Holland
This wouldn’t be a list of celebrity engagements of 2025 without the engagement announcement that kicked it all off: Zendaya and Tom Holland! The pair sparked loads of speculation after Zendaya blinded us with a stunning diamond ring at the Golden Globes in January 2025. And while the notoriously private couple has yet to publicly address the news, multiple reports have confirmed that they are, in fact, officially engaged.
Adding to the confirmation, PEOPLE recently reported that Tom’s Spider-Man co-star Jacob Batalon—who also got engaged this year—set the record straight about their proposal timelines. According to the publication, sources confirmed that Tom and Zendaya were engaged as of January 6, but Jacob argues that he had his proposal plans set in motion before Tom. “No, we did not know about each other's plans like that,” he told Metro Entertainment. “But I will say I thought about it first.”
Zendaya and Tom have always kept their love story low-key, so an official announcement might never come. But between the ring, the reports, and their inner circle spilling deets, it looks like they are locking it down on their own terms.
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Featured image by Normani/Instagram