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6 Powerful Revelations From Sarah Jakes Roberts' 2019 WomanEvolve Conference
Chile, I got my entire life at Woman Evolve. Something powerful happens when thousands of modern women of faith gather for a weekend to celebrate the beauty of God and reclaim their own majesty. Earlier this month marked the second year that Sarah Jakes Roberts has hosted the Woman Evolve Conference in Denver, CO and it was more magnificent than the year before.
This year's theme "For the Win: Refuse to Lose" was centered around standing flatfooted and being victorious. To keep on theme, the speakers of the conference were deemed coaches of their respective fields. The head coach, Sarah Jakes Roberts, loaded the roster with some heavy hitters from Myleik Teele (the business coach) to Arian Simone (the purpose coach) to Keri Hilson (the relationship coach); each coach tackled a topic tailor-made for an array of women.
It's unlike any other conference on this planet. According to the mission, Woman Evolve recognizes that as the definition of womanhood continues to advance, so does the woman's need to connect and assess where she fits in the ever-changing world around her. The Woman Evolve mission affirms that there is no better time than the present to awaken, identify, and release the unique offering of the woman.
With the imagery of bruised heels as the backdrop of the conference, women were able to break chains, generational curses, and soul ties. While attending the conference, I personally experienced some breakthroughs that can only be described as life-altering. Ahead, you'll find just a handful of gems that rocked me to the core.
"It ain't a Hot Girl Summer."
Pastor Sarah Jakes Roberts opened the conference with a vengeance to put her foot on the devil's neck. While the phrase of the summer is Megan Thee Stallion's "Hot Girl Summer", Pastor Sarah has a different truth. She said, "As for me and my house, we are gonna serve what God is doing around here. It ain't a Hot Girl Summer. It ain't a City Girl Summer. It's a Skin In The Game Summer! Everything else is trendy but only what I do for God will last."
The crowd went crazy when SJR said "It ain't a #hotgirlsummer" and it definitely made some things rise up in me personally. Don't get me wrong, I have been on Meg Thee Stallion's Hot Girl Summer Wave and one of those reasons was to be trendy. That made me realize that I may be living my life in a way that only strives to be on trend and fit in. We live in a world where likes and views seem to define your worth and value. Pastor Sarah's word aimed to dismantle that theory in my eyes.
"Only what I do for God will last," tugged at my heartstrings in a way that brought tears to my eyes because I have this terrible practice of seeking validation from people. This is when I had the revelation that you can have both – a hot girl summer and a skin in the game summer. You can have a hot girl summer by living unapologetically by basking in your inner and outside glow AND have a skin in the game summer by living and sashaying in your purpose, blessing others with your gifts and refusing to lose. This season is now a #HotGirlSkinInTheGameSummer, for me, ok! The coalescence of the two is a recipe for a fire glow up!
"There's a difference between wickedness and weakness."
In a candid conversation with her dad, Sarah talked about daddy issues; just know, there were too many gems for me to even count. And the big facts are that most of us have daddy issues of some sort, whether you had one in your home or not. It was amazing to hear Bishop T.D. Jakes speak about what it meant for him to be a father to a teen mom. He professed that she would always be his baby girl and a teen pregnancy could never change that.
The world renowned church leader even gave advice to the women in the room who struggled with daddy issues and the biggest gem that resonated with me was his distinction between wickedness and weakness. For example, I spent years blaming my father for not being in my life (wickedness) but in that moment during the session, I realized he couldn't be there for me – it wasn't in his wheelhouse of natural capabilities (weakness).
"Sisterhood on purpose! Because it's His purpose that's at stake!"
Purpose coach Arian Simone proved why she was given that title. During her session, she blessed her host, a young mother of a two-year-old daughter that had been living in a shelter. Arian sowed $1,000 into her and created a wave of sisterhood like I have never seen before as women from all over the room began sowing into her as well. This is what sisterhood in action looks like and Arian fully facilitated her purpose.
"Stop giving life to what God has killed."
In order to live that best life that everyone talks about, you have to do some inventory on things that you keep bringing to life that God has killed. This brought up alot of emotion for me because I have a habit of trying to revive and fix situations that served their purpose in a specific season. Pastor Toure Roberts validated that you have to leave your brokeness behind to fully step into your wholeness.
"Your reputation precedees you."
In the career arena, our favorite entrepreneur Myleik Teele gave a word on keys to starting a successful business. When she spoke about building your reputation, she emphasized knowing your worth and taking inventory of the skills you can improve. Myleik shared, "Your reputation precedes you and if it inspires respect, a lot of your work is done for you before you arrive on the scene or utter a single word."
In the words of the #MyTaughtYou boss babe, "You have to JUMP! No reputation is the same as a bad one. You cannot be afraid to try."
The overarching theme of sisterhood.
During the finale of the conference, Toyota and The Dream Project, alongside Sarah, gifted $5,000 to a lucky winner who happened to be PrettyGirl Academy Inc. The organization serves as a safe space where girls can open up, be themselves and learn from the different life experiences of their peers and mentors. Their site says, "We are more than a mentoring program. We are a sisterhood of girls and women bound together by love of community and hope for the future."
It was such an awe-inspiring moment to watch because we were all celebrating this win for the Executive Director, Erika Johnson, as she fought back tears trying to explain how she was feeling. Then the head coach SJR proclaimed that the louder you cheer and root for your sister, the bigger your blessing will be when it's your turn. Woman Evolve was exactly that – a celebration of our sisters.
What's even more amazing is the fact that SJR took the same grace and glory that surrounded the conference to the Denver Women's Correctional Facility. You definitely need to secure your 2020 registration like right now.
Featured image by David Livingston/Getty Images
Joce Blake is a womanist who loves fashion, Beyonce and Hot Cheetos. The sophistiratchet enthusiast is based in Brooklyn, NY but has southern belle roots as she was born and raised in Memphis, TN. Keep up with her on Instagram @joce_blake and on Twitter @SaraJessicaBee.
These Newlyweds Found Love Thanks To A Friend Playing Matchmaker
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
Jason and Elise Robinson’s union is a reminder that kind people still get their happily ever after. The pair had their first date in October of 2021 and tied the knot on June 15, 2024. Both of them have dedicated their lives to celebrating and supporting Black culture so it was only fitting they get married in what's considered the Black Hollywood of America during the Juneteenth celebration weekend. From the florists to Elise and Jason's gown and suit designers to the table signage and so much more, everything was Black-owned. It's no wonder their love for Black culture was the jumping-off point for their love story.
When they met, Jason had just moved to Atlanta for a new job opportunity, and Elise was living happily in her career and had put dating on the backburner. But luckily, a mutual connection saw something in both of them and thanks to a yoga-themed baby shower and a chance text message, they found their forever. Check out their beautiful How We Met story below.
I’ll start with the easiest question. Can you both tell me a little bit about yourself and your background?
Elise: Sure, my name is Elise. I’m actually from Atlanta, GA – not a transplant. I grew up here and left right after college to pursue my career. Now I’ve been back going on eight years, and I’m in my early 40s.
Jason: And I’m Jason. I’m originally from Racine, Wisconsin. I went to school at Florida A&M University, so I am a rattler. I went back to the Midwest for a period of time, in Indianapolis. Now, I’ve been in the Atlanta area for a little over two and a half years.
Jason and Elise Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Wow, that’s nice because Atlanta gets a bad rap when it comes to relationships. So you have to give us the deets. How did you two find each other?
Elise: So I work in TV and I was on-air for a number of years and then transitioned into being a producer and then a manager. As a producer, I’d always have guests on. And there was a woman who came on frequently named Rosalynn (@Rosalynndaniels, often referred to as The Black Martha Stewart), and we connected instantly. Anyway, she got pregnant right before COVID and invited me to a “modern-day yoga baby shower.” I came to support, but was also just curious about that theme.
I had an amazing time. And when it was over a few of us stuck around and convos got personal. She ended up asking me the infamous ‘Are you dating’ question. When I told her no, she decided to set me up. So I should tell you, in both of my only two serious relationships, I was set up – so I was like no.
But she pointed at her husband, who was folding up chairs, and said that another friend set her up with him. Sometimes, it takes people outside of us to see what we need. A few months later, she reached out and said she had family relocating and thought I’d really like him. So she gave him my number, and I reached out with a text. He responded with a call, and that night, we talked for about 2-3 hours. So that’s how we met. I was a little nervous because me and Rosalynn were starting a friendship, and here I was, talking to her family!
Jason: It was new for me too. Remember, I was new to the area, and I had heard so many “stories” about how people have been done wrong in the dating world. Whether it’s by theft or scamming (laughs). Plus, I had just got a new job and wanted to focus on that. But I did want to be able to date someone in a more personal way and see where it led. I felt like who better than someone who I trust to connect me. Rosalynn knows I’m private, about business life, and my personal life is important to me.
So let’s get into your courtship. What was your first date like?
Elise: We had our first convo on a Monday, and he asked me out the next day. I didn’t have any plans, but I still said no. I was just playing hard to get (laughs). But we were talking every day, and he told me he wanted to take me somewhere I’ve never been. And I’m like, you’re in my city! But he sends me three options, and sure enough, two of the places I hadn’t gone to. So, our first date was October 1, 2021, and somebody was 45 minutes late.
Now Jason, why were you 45 minutes late?
Elise: It was me – in my own city. I just got turned around, and the traffic was horrible. I kept calling him and giving him permission to leave. Full transparency: I probably wouldn’t have waited if the shoe was on the other foot. But this was my first sign of what I now know and love the most about him. It’s his patience. When I got there, I was frazzled and everything, but he was just super calm. It ended up being a great first date.
Jason: I remember just waiting and being concerned for her well-being. Because I know how traffic can be, especially when someone is rushing. I was just scrolling through my phone and looking through the menu. It was cool.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Courtesy
That’s beautiful. Now let’s talk about the “what are we” convo? Did you have one of those and if so, who initiated it and how was it?
Elise: I initiated it. Jason was dating me – and still does. But by this time, we had been on a number of dates. We were on our way to a winery, and we had a bit of a drive. So I decided to state my intention. We were just a few weeks in, but we were spending a lot of time together and we are people of a particular age. So I told him, I know Atlanta can be a Black man’s playground. There’s so many beautiful professional women here. But I’m dating with intention. I don’t want to kick it or hang with a good guy even though he’s not my person. I was done with all of that. So I’m “laying down the law” in my eyes, and he didn’t flinch. He let me finish and basically let me know we were on the same page. He was not trying to sow his royal oats.
Jason: Yeah, I was not trying to be Prince Akeem. But also, it was more so about setting a tone and goal for myself. My mama always told me to set my goals. And having a family was always one of mine. I think the biggest thing of it all, was I felt blessed – in terms of moving for work and meeting Elise, now being married. There’s victories being placed in my life.
I love that you both shared that because sometimes I get feedback on these stories and it seems like sometimes we’re afraid to really voice what we desire, no matter what that looks like.
Elise: Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
Jason: I think her sharing those values resonated with me, and hearing her “lay down the law” was fine because I was there, too. I would say to millennial women, don’t be afraid to tell a mate what you want. You never know what that would lead to. Time is a precious commodity. Elise saying that early on showed me that she values both of our time. It showed her heart, character, and integrity, and I was drawn to that and the mature conversation. In the social media world, we don’t have those pointed conversations face-to-face. I would challenge readers to have those conversations in person, and you would get more from that convo than any post or reel. Because you see body language reactions and have deeper communication.
Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
You both have mentioned time, family, and integrity. I’m curious what other core values do you both share?
Elise: Early on, our faith. Not just do you believe in God. It had to be deeper in that. I needed someone who would lead me, our home, and our family. I didn’t want to be in a push-and-pull relationship about prayer, church, or have conversations about being better people. Also, we discussed finances. That doesn’t just mean going to work. We chatted about ownership and what it looks like for us. How do we support each other individually and together? I know I like having my hands in a few different pots, and I needed someone who was supportive of that and likewise.
Jason: My background is that I was raised in the church. My father is a deacon and my mom is a deaconess. They've been married for 55 years. Faith was very important to me and it was crucial that my wife have that relationship as well.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Can we talk about challenges? Big or small, what are some things you had to grow through together?
Elise: I have never lived with anyone – not a roommate, a sister, friend, boyfriend or anything. Now, I’m in my 40s and I'm living with someone. When you’ve been by yourself for so long that was a challenge for both of us. We weren’t pulling each other's hair out but I’m a bit extreme. Things are color-coded in my closet. For me, working in news is chaotic so I want my home to be peaceful and organized.
Jason: I’m a man, and she’s a woman. That dynamic alone adds a flair to it. She wants things a certain way. She’s a Capricorn. But just in terms of how she wants to keep a home was a big adjustment for me. It took time.
On a smaller level, what are some of the things you disagree about day-to-day?
Elise: Cleanliness and systems. Like, he recycles and I do not. But sometimes I just have to decide if it really needs to be a thing or if I can just take care of it.
Jason: This is where my organization takes over (laughs).
What are your love languages? Do you know?
Elise: Jason’s is an act of service which works because I love cooking for him. It doesn’t feel like a chore to me. I love when I’m out, picking up his favorite juice. The other day I saw he needed t-shirts while folding clothes. So I just like doing small things for him that he doesn’t expect. He’s very much that guy that will ask to help so it doesn’t bother me.
Jason: I’d say Elise is all of them, but physical touch would probably be the biggest one. I had to get used to that. She’s taught me it in a number of ways. I remember we actually talked about love languages, and I sent her this song called “More Than Words” by Extreme. That explained to her how I felt.
Finally, can we end with the proposal? Tell us everything!
Jason: It was at a restaurant. And again, I was trying to find somewhere she hadn’t been. Also, I didn’t want to do it on our anniversary because that would have been too obvious. I contacted one of the restaurant’s staff and decided to change up the dessert menu. Each item was something special to us.
Elise: We go on so many date nights, so I just thought it was a regular night. We had finished eating, and I had to go to the bathroom. They had a nice mirror, girl. So I’m in there taking videos and stuff.
Jason: While she’s in the restroom, I’m getting everything in place with the waitress.
Elise: So as I’m reading the menu, I realize it’s telling our story and he eventually proposed. It was so special; I actually had the menu framed! It was so beautiful and thoughtful.
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Feature image by FotosbyFola
Dry brushing has gained recent popularity as a simple yet effective technique for enhancing skin health and overall well-being. The ancient Ayurvedic medicine method has become the latest way to revitalize your skin’s health by brushing the skin with a dry, natural bristle brush, typically before showering. While the process may seem straightforward, you might be surprised by the benefits of dry brushing, which extend far beyond merely exfoliating the skin.
If you want to improve your skin’s appearance, give it a new glow, and boost your circulation, consider the following benefits of dry brushing.
Exfoliation and Skin Health
One of the primary benefits of dry brushing is its ability to exfoliate the skin. By gently removing dead skin cells, dry brushing helps to unclog pores and reveal a smoother, more radiant complexion. This process not only enhances the appearance of the skin but also promotes better absorption of moisturizers and other skincare products. Regular exfoliation through dry brushing can prevent the buildup of dead skin cells, reducing the likelihood of breakouts and ingrown hairs.
Improves Circulation
Dry brushing stimulates blood flow to the skin’s surface, which can improve overall circulation. The brushing motion helps to invigorate the skin, encouraging the delivery of oxygen and nutrients to the cells. Improved circulation can lead to a healthier, more vibrant appearance and may even contribute to the reduction of the appearance of cellulite by enhancing the removal of toxins and excess fluid from the tissues.
Supports Lymphatic System
The lymphatic system plays a crucial role in the body’s detoxification process, helping to remove waste and toxins from the tissues. Dry brushing is believed to support lymphatic drainage by stimulating the lymph vessels, which can enhance the body’s natural detoxification process. By promoting lymph flow, dry brushing may help to reduce swelling and improve immune function.
Promotes Detoxification
In addition to supporting the lymphatic system, dry brushing may also aid in the overall detoxification of the body. The stimulation of the skin and increased blood flow flush out toxins, contributing to improved organ function and overall health. Many proponents of dry brushing believe that this practice can help to purify the body from within, leading to clearer skin and a greater sense of well-being.
Stress Relief and Relaxation
The act of dry brushing can be a calming and meditative experience, providing a moment of self-care and relaxation. The repetitive, rhythmic motions can help reduce stress and promote a sense of calm. Additionally, the practice can leave the skin feeling invigorated and refreshed, contributing to an overall sense of vitality and well-being.
How to Dry Brush
To make the most of dry brushing and achieve glowing, radiant skin, follow these easy, step-by-step tips:
Choose the Right Brush: Select a brush with natural bristles and a comfortable handle.
Skin Gym Bamboo Dry Round Brush - $22
EcoTools Dry Body Brush - $6.99
Primally Pure Body Dry Brush - $16
Keys Soulcare Energizing Dry Body Brush - $22
Start at the Feet: Begin brushing at your feet and work your way up the body, using long, sweeping motions toward the heart.
Use Gentle Pressure: Apply gentle pressure, especially on sensitive areas, and avoid brushing over broken or irritated skin.
Brush Before Showering: Dry brushing is best done before showering to wash away the exfoliated skin cells.
Moisturize Afterwards: Follow up with a nourishing moisturizer or oil to keep the skin hydrated and smooth.
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