The works of Nicholle Kobi have been reposted and being saved in our phones as lockscreens, phone backgrounds, and inspiration for years. And for good reason. In just one scroll through her Instagram feed, you are instantly met with feel-good vibes: seeing images that proudly feature natural hair, working women, friendship, and black love.
The world should take note.
Originally from Normandy, France, the now NYC-based artist has received wide acclaim for her celebration of the "black woman without cliche." Recently, Nicholle chatted with xoNecole to talk about the importance of portraying black woman in a multilayered multifaceted light, her upcoming art exhibit series, as well as the message behind her artwork.
"The message in my artwork is to show my sisters how powerful we are when we stay together, when we work together, when we support and love ourselves," she said. "I really want to show the beauty of black women and how strong we are… I want more unity and love for ourselves."
Artist, Nicholle Kobi
Before building Maison Nicholle Kobi, the brand we have come to love and respect, Nicholle was discouraged from tailoring her artwork to the black female experience and ultimately left art school for the private sector. After spending 10 years working in insurance, while on maternity leave, she began to question what truly brought her happiness. "I remembered drawing is the thing that gives me peace… so I decided to draw. I was drawing 10 illustrations a day and started to post all of my artwork on social media."
"I remembered drawing is the thing that gives me peace."
With time, Nicholle set her sights on flipping the narrative about how society thinks about the black woman. "I was looking for images of real life black women without any cliche, not images that degraded us, and it was not very easy. I wanted to see more modern images of me and my friends, my sisters. So, I decided to stop complaining and do it myself."
Rejecting negative media portrayals, she has turned her artwork into a powerful platform for self-love and sisterhood.
"In my artwork, I want to humanize my sisters… For me, it's very important for all [of the] African diaspora to recognize themselves in my artwork. Every black woman must be able to see herself or her future in my images. We are not what people say we are. We are clever, strong, beautiful, powerful. Nothing can stop us from being who we want to be: mothers, entrepreneurs, doctors, [or even the] president."
"Every black woman must be able to see herself or her future in my images."
Her work has brought together so many women of different backgrounds, from the Caribbean to the Americas, and she hopes that her work will continue to create space to discuss, explore, and unite. With these themes in mind, Nicholle is currently headlining her 'Parisian Instant' 2018 Art Series Exhibit with 30+ stops spanning the world including Brazil, the United States, Europe, and Africa, bringing her artwork and message to the masses.
"This tour was a crazy idea I had two years ago, going out there and meeting all these women who support and love my artwork, but the learning goes both ways. This year, we added more cities in the US because I love to learn from black America and the demand was very important too. "
USA
San Francisco: July 25
Los Angeles: July 28
Nashville: August 27
Charlotte: August 29
Chicago: September 26
Boston: November 27
Detroit: November 29
Washington, DC: December 1
New York, NY ( Brooklyn): December 8
International
Durban: August 8
Cape Town: August 11
Johannesburg: August 15
London: September 8
Paris: September 15
Find more information regarding her art series tour here.
Nicholle is also excited to announce that she has partnered with Hallmark to release a new collection of cards celebrating black mothers, black lovers, and black sisterhood! They will be released in the near future and she hopes that you love them as much as she does.
More than anything, Nicholle wants to showcase the real beauty of black women across the globe and reminds us to lift up our fellow sisters and to be proud of who we truly are. "Because black women come in all shapes and all shades. Because I believe in my people."
Artist, Nicholle Kobi, at her 'Parisian Instant' 2018 Art Series Exhibit
Want to learn more about Nicholle Kobi? Find her work on Instagram @nichollekobi and at: https://nichollekobi.com/. Click through the gallery below to browse some of our favorite Nicholle Kobi works:
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THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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