
So I know I’m not the only one who’s been seeing an uptick in articles about it not being necessary to bathe on a daily basis (chile…CHILE). What certain researchers claim is cleansing your skin in that manner every day not only dries it out, it could potentially compromise your immunity too.
Personally, I don’t know what I’m more skeptical about, that part or reading that only half of Americans actually bathe on a daily basis in the first place (don’t even get me started on the fact that 45 percent of folks in the United States will go two days or longer before putting on some fresh drawers). Listen, when you think about all that your cootie cat and behind go through on a daily basis, that’s enough of a reason to run to the tub at the end of a long day if you ask me.
That’s actually what we’re gonna get into today. If you’re someone who is all about hygiene, and so you’re not gonna depend on some type of body deodorant (some of those commercials are so gross; I won’t name no names about which ones, though) to cover up stank and bacteria, you might have found yourself wondering before if it’s better for your vagina if you take a shower or a bath. Although, at the end of the day, it’s not the biggest deal in the world if you already have a certain preference, I did want to bring up some things for you to think about — just as an FYI.
Benefits of a Shower
GiphyThere’s a guy I know who has always said that if he ever takes a bath, he’s going to get into the shower first. LOL. Although that might sound like a lot of extra work to some of y’all, believe it or not, he’s actually onto something. Even health experts will say that if your ultimate objective is to get your body as clean as possible, you’re going to be better off taking a shower (they also say that if you’re focused, 5-10 minutes should be all that you need). One article that I read said that the two main reasons are 1) you’re able to get a fairly even distribution of water dispersed onto your body and 2) the dirt and ickiness flow right off of you and into the drain — when you’re in a bath, the dirty water is floating all around.
Now when it comes to your vagina, specifically, there are some perks to “her” taking a shower as well. For one thing, because the vagina is self-cleansing, it doesn’t need any of your help via washing products. And so, when you’re in the shower, it’s easier to wash your vulva only, so that your vagina doesn’t come into contact with any of the stuff that you use to wash the rest of your body with.
And since, yes, you can totally get a yeast infection from the bath products that you use (because they can potentially throw your pH down there off), all of this is definitely something to keep in mind.
Gee, after saying all of this, is there any benefit at all to taking baths? Actually…there are.
Benefits of a Bath
GiphyIf I’m gonna be real, if getting thoroughly clean is your (ultimate) goal, showers are going to win every time. On the flip side, though, baths are hella therapeutic. If you’re looking to soothe sore muscles and achy joints, strengthen your immune system (because apparently hot baths help to improve how your immune cells operate), make it easier to breathe if you have a cold or respiratory infection, decrease stress and anxiety levels; soften your skin; burn a few calories (because soaking in hot water can actually uptick your metabolism a bit), and/or improve your quality of sleep (especially if you do it no more than two hours before turning in) — taking a nice hot bath can make all of this happen for you (interestingly enough, a cold shower can accomplish many of these things too).
And vaginally? Is taking a bath any good at all? Well, stress does play a role in suppressing the good bacteria in your vagina, which means that if a bath reduces stress, it can indirectly help you to have fewer vaginal infections (like a yeast-related one). Also, if you have eczema or psoriasis on your vulva (or hemorrhoids due to things like recently giving birth), soaking in an oatmeal or sitz bath can relieve the discomfort.
Not to mention the fact that, if you have a yeast infection, soaking in a tub that has some baking soda in it, can help to kill some of the fungus that is irritating your vulva and the discharge that may be bothering your vaginal opening.
Still, you need to be careful to focus on the outside of your vagina, not the inside of it (if you have an infection, contact your doctor; they will probably give you something that will treat it from the inside out). Otherwise, the baking soda could irritate your vagina and not much else.
Either Way, 5 Cleansing Tips to Keep in Mind
GiphyWhen you take all of this into account, it seems like the conclusion is that whatever your vulva (the outer part of your vagina) needs at any given time, that is what should help you to decide if you should hop into the shower or soak in the tub. However, as a general practice, because the less “stuff” that gets into your vagina, the better, a shower is always going to be your safer bet. Whichever way you land, though, there are some cleansing tips for your vagina that you should always keep in mind.
1. Use a Gentle Vaginal Wash
I don’t care what article you read on how to clean your vagina — which, again, needs to be your vulva — if it’s worth its weight, it’s gonna say to avoid scented products; many will also say that just water alone will do the trick. Me personally, I use something called Boric Fresh PH Balancing Daily Feminine Wash. It contains boric acid, tea tree oil, coconut oil, and some essential oils and works wonderfully. Sometimes I’ll play around with a DIY feminine wash, too (check out “Love On Yourself With These 7 All-Natural DIY Vaginal Washes”). Those are fun because you can literally customize the ingredients to make a wash that is best for you at various times of the month.
2. Know How to “Wash Your Vagina” Correctly
It’s kind of wild, the things that we think we are masters at that we very well might not be. For instance, did you know that when it comes to washing your vagina (which, again, is more like your vulva), your hands are actually best because loofahs (and even certain washcloths) can be too harsh for the inner parts of your vulvar skin? Yeah, cleaning “her” is one thing. Cleaning her properly? That’s another matter entirely. That said, check out “Are You Washing Your Vagina Correctly? You Sure?” for some additional tips in that department.
3. Pat “Her” Dry
If you’re not someone who pays much attention to drying your vagina off after bathing it, please make sure that you start. There are experts who say that an unsung reason why some women get yeast infections (or recurring ones) is that their vulva/vagina stays too moist throughout the day — and that’s because some women do not make sure that it’s dry after washing. Air drying is good (if you have time); if not, pat it dry with a clean and dry towel. Yes, pat—rubbing is totally unnecessary.
4. Take Showers on Your Cycle
Let me just say that when it comes to taking a bath when you’re on your period, there is nothing “wrong” with it. Actually, hot/warm water can help to relieve menstrual cramps. All I’m saying is, if that’s the time of the month when you want to feel particularly clean, for all of the reasons that we discussed, a shower is probably gonna be your better bet. Plus, if you’re someone who has tension headaches during that time of the month, a hot shower could help to decrease your discomfort.
5. Put on Clean Underwear. ALWAYS.
I once read a quote that said, “Having sex with an ex is like getting out of the shower and putting the same underwear back on.” While I’m not sure if it’s THAT extreme (LOL), I do think that the saying is a good way to close all of this out. Back when I wrote, “When Should You Replace Underwear, Make-Up, Bedding, Washcloths & Towels?” for the platform, a part of the reason why is because some of us will hold onto panties for literally years at a time. Yeah, that’s not good because, for one thing, tiny parts of fecal matter store up in undies.
That’s why it’s important to get new ones — because why put a fresh body in 6-12 months’ worth of little stored-up poop pieces (yuck!)? So, whether it’s a shower or bath that you land on, please have some clean panties awaiting her at the end, aight? That way, your vagina will remain as clean as possible until the next time you get into a shower…or a bath.
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This Is How To Keep 'Holiday Season Stress' From Infecting Your Relationship
Hmph. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there is something really weird happening in the fall season air (because winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21) that cuddle season is in full swing while break-up season is as well. In fact, did you know that break-ups are so popular during the holiday season that December 11 is deemed Break-Up Day?
The reasons why relationships shift around this time vary; however, I did both roll my eyes and chuckle when I read that a very popular one is because it’s an easy way to get out of getting one’s significant other a Christmas present. SMDH.
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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While doing a podcast interview a couple of weeks ago, when I said my age, the interviewer complimented me by saying that what I said is not what they would’ve guessed. When they asked what the secret was, the first thing that came out of my mouth was, “Oh, I’m gonna take me a nap.”
I adore sleep. I’ve said before that it’s like what Six Flags is to some people. And really, it’s just a plus that there are so many health benefits from getting plenty of rest. Beauty-wise, science does reveal that getting no less than seven hours a night can slow down signs of aging. Know what else? There are some direct things that sleep — and the lack thereof — can do to your immunity as well.
And so, since this is the time of year when catching a cold (and/or the flu) is common, let’s talk about the impact that sleep (and again, a lack thereof) has on your immune system. That way, you can remain as healthy as possible during the fall and winter seasons.
1. Less Sleep Means More Colds
GiphyLike I stated in the intro, I’m pretty sure you’ve heard somewhere that the fall and winter are the seasons when people are most susceptible to catching a cold or coming down with the flu. And that’s exactly why I thought I would start this all off by sharing the fact that some studies reveal that if you get less than six hours of sleep, on a consistent basis, you end up making yourself more vulnerable to coming down with both. In fact, some research says that only 18 percent of people who get six-plus hours of rest caught a cold while almost 40 percent who got less than that did.
The logic behind it all is sleep gives your body time to build up the proteins and cells (like cytokines and T-cells) that you need to fight off certain viruses. So, if nothing bothers you more than having a stuffy nose or stubborn cough when it’s cold outside, getting more sleep is one way to prevent that from happening to you.
2. Less Sleep Means More Allergy Symptoms
GiphyAt the end of the day, an allergy is basically what transpires whenever your immune system “overreacts” to something that other people’s systems do not. And since sleep is what helps to keep your immune system nice and strong — well, I’m sure you get how less allergy-related symptoms and more sleep go hand in hand. Also, since sleep helps to decrease bodily inflammation (more on that in a bit) and inflammation can also intensify allergy symptoms, that’s just one more reason to get as much shut-eye as possible.
3. Less Sleep Means Potential Diabetes and Heart Disease
GiphyDid you know that in 2024, Black women were diagnosed with diabetes 24 percent more than any other adult demographic. Also, it continues to be a reality that heart disease is the leading cause of death for Black women. These two sobering statistics alone should be enough of an incentive to do whatever you can to keep the risk of diabetes and heart disease way down.
One way to do that is by getting more sleep. Aside from the fact that sleep strengthens your immune system to where it is easier for you to fight off illness and diseases, sleep can keep your blood sugar levels in a healthy space; plus, when it comes to your heart, it gives it, along with your arteries and blood vessels a break.
4. Less Sleep Means Less Time for Your Body to Push “Reset”
GiphyIf you really stopped to consider all that your body goes through during the day (you can read some about that here), you definitely would respect it enough to do your best to thank it by giving it no less than six hours of sleep, each and every night. Sleep is what helps to slow your brain and body down so they are able to “refuel” for the next day. After all, how can your body prevent you from getting sick if your immune system is too worn out to fight ailments off? Exactly.
5. More Sleep Helps You to Fight Off Infections
GiphySpeaking of, in order for your body to fight off infections, there are certain cells and antibodies within you that need to be healthy and strong — one way that they get and stay that way is by you getting a good amount of sleep. For instance, remember when I touched on cytokines earlier? Well, the same way that they help to prevent colds, they also help to prevent infections too. And since sleep lowers your cortisol (stress) levels, rest gives your body the time and space to build up an army that can fight off free radicals and other health-related challenges while you are awake.
6. More Sleep Lowers Bodily Inflammation
GiphyWhenever a health-related issue is mentioned on this platform, inflammation is something that is mentioned quite a bit. Probably the easiest way to explain inflammation is it’s how your body responds/reacts whenever something is happening to your body that shouldn’t be, whether it’s an illness, an injury, a germ or something that you may be allergic to.
If you happen to have chronic inflammation, some symptoms that are associated with that include fatigue, stiff joints, skin rashes, weight gain and moodiness.
The interesting thing about all of this is if you aren’t getting enough rest, you could be triggering inflammation in your body. That’s because studies reveal that a lack of sleep can elevate molecules that are associated with inflammation. So, if you don’t want inflammation to increase within your system, you should definitely catch more zzz’s.
7. More Sleep Regulates Hormones
GiphyWhen it comes to hormones like serotonin, estrogen and cortisol, believe it or not, they play a role in how your immune system acts and overreacts. That’s because, if your hormones are out of balance, that can cause your immune system to work harder than it actually should and that can make you more vulnerable to sickness. One way to keep your hormones leveled out? SLEEP.
That’s because sleep gives your body the opportunity to rest, repair and restore your hormone levels. On the other hand, when you are sleep deprived, that can put/keep your hormones on the ultimate roller coaster ride. #notgood
8. More Sleep Strengthens Vaccines
flu shot GIF - Find & Share on GIPHYGiphyIf you’re someone who is good for getting some sort of vaccine around this time of the year, make sure that you rest up before and after getting your shots. Not only does adequate rest before a vaccination help your immune system to be better receptive to your shots but sleep also helps your body to build up enough antibodies to make your vaccinations effective after getting them. Because if you’re gonna get pricked, shouldn’t it be worth it? My thoughts exactly.
Get some freakin’ sleep! Your immune system depends on it.
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