This Throwback Clip Of DeJ Loaf Is A Reminder That Childhood Trauma Can Affect You As A Grown-Ass Woman
Celebrity News

This Throwback Clip Of DeJ Loaf Is A Reminder That Childhood Trauma Can Affect You As A Grown-Ass Woman

Trauma is one hell of a drug, isn't it, ladies and gentleman?

While on one hand, no one truly likes pain and healing is always the goal, on the other, the brain has a tendency to crave what's familiar and for many of us, we know trauma as soon as it walks through the door. In a recently resurfaced throwback clip of VICE's The Therapistfrom 2017, DeJ Loaf said that she can totally relate and has seen firsthand how childhood trauma can affect you as a grown-ass woman.

In the intimate session with Dr. Siri Sat Nam Singh, Dej revealed that in the past, she's experienced depression but didn't know exactly what to call it:

"I just used to like cry a lot. I was going through depression, but I didn't know because I didn't know what depression was. I just thought I was dying. I think I just wanted out of just like everything that I saw."

If trauma seems to be the monkey you can't quite get off your back, please know that fear was the gateway drug. DeJ told Dr. Singh that growing up in Detroit left her in a constant state of alarm, and her panic turned out to be well-warranted after a tragic incident when she was only four years old:

"Back in the day, it was amazing. I know Motown and the good old days, but it's turned into something so rough. It seems like every part of Detroit is just like the hood, which is not safe, you know? I don't care what nobody says, like it's not safe. My dad got killed when I was four, back in 1995."
"We stayed in the projects. Um, he was just gunned down right outside in front of the house and you know, it was just tragic. You know, it was crazy."

DeJ explained that after the death of her father, her mother's depression left her unable to care for the would-be entertainer and soon after, she moved in with her grandmother:

Getty Images

"When my dad got killed, we had to move with my grandmother, who sold drugs. New environment, new lifestyle. It was different. She wasn't like the typical grandmother with a cane. She was like a gangster."

The 28-year-old performer explained that even after surviving a tragic childhood, things didn't get easier after fame. DeJ and Dr. Singh also addressed subsequent milestones of her trauma throughout the years, including experiencing loss and being stolen from. While DeJ thought that her past has given her "crazy trust issues", her therapist expressed that her feeling of defeat after trauma is normal AF and explained that affirmations may be the key to her healing.

"I think of them as seeds that you're putting into your psyche to grow. So place your hands over your heart center and close your eyes and just be there with yourself. Know it's all about you. It's not about me. It's all about you. The power lies within you."

We all have some unhealed trauma that we can stand to heal from, so place your hand over your heart and ok ladies, now let's do affirmations. *Cue Beyonce*

Repeat after me:

I love myself. I trust myself. I will be myself.

To watch the full clip, click below!

Featured image by Getty Images.



Stacey and Dalen Spratt

How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.

I’m willing to bet that this is not the first time you’ve seen this couple. Dalen Spratt is a television producer, owner of a tailored men's suit line, and creator of Ghost Brothers: Haunted Houseguests, which is currently streaming on Destination America. Stacey Spratt is also a serial entrepreneur, focusing mostly on events and the nonprofit world, and she is the owner of two award-winning craft beer bars called Harlem Hops. But their accolades are not what united them.


Black women’s natural hair is constantly a topic of conversation. Whether it’s in the workplace, on the red carpet, or in everyday life, how Black women choose to style their hair will always be a topic. This constant bombardment of opinions, both inside and outside of the Black community, about the way Black women’s hair is presented to the rest of the world can be a lot to manage and process at times.