

I remember perusing the Cosmo Snapchat as I do every day, and they had an article about misconceptions in your 20's. One of the those misconceptions was, "If your parents make you miserable, you don't have to force yourself to talk to them."
I was literally flabbergasted because I am dealing with this struggle now. Society tells to us to cherish, respect, and love our parents. But what happens, when your parents do not do the same in return?
It is a terrible misconception that society pressures us to talk to our parents when they really don't make us feel all that great after the conversation a lot of times. You hang up the phone or leave the conversation more frustrated and sadder than when you enter the situation. Life is way too short to fill them with too many suppose to's and should be filled with doing things that make us feel good.
Honestly, talking to one of my parents always ends in either a) tears, b) anger, c) frustration, or d) all the above. Why do I constantly allow myself to be surrounded by so much negativity and bad vibes? Because people tell me I should do so because they are my parent, but when do you start to do what is for the betterment of yourself and not for others? Do you allow yourself to feel like a punching bag or constantly in turmoil because you feel some sort of obligation and you continue to be upset and sad?
It took me years, honestly, to get to this point of understanding that I could love that parent from a distance and begin to put my feelings first. I don't have to feel this sense of obligation to talk to them everyday or week, when most times their intent is to hurt if they are in a mood. With this one parent, I would find myself constantly blaming myself for our constant strife and took all their ill-willed words to heart. Feeling as if all those words were true.
It got a whole lot better for me to remove myself from that poisonous energy, once I was independent and living on my own. There were no looming threats or constant fears of bare essentials to better myself being taken from me, i.e. having my cell phone turned off, my car being taken, tuition not being paid for, or getting kicked out of the family house, (all of which have happened).
Once that was eliminated from the equation, it made it easier for me to say to myself, "Look, I love you, but I don't always have to talk to you."
No one needs negative energy and constant drama in their lives. If your family brings that to your atmosphere, let it go. I am telling you, you will live a much better and more stress-free life. I know it sounds cruel and unfeeling, but sometimes you have to love people from afar. I've learned that sometimes people do not know how to love properly because they were never truly taught from their own parents to love, and this all becomes a systematic effect that leads to you and your parent's relationship.
I addressed the problems with my parent multiple times. I have even suggested therapy sessions, but the sessions would never happen. The emotional abuse would begin again and I was stuck at square one. I finally made the decision to start loving myself, when the effects of that parent's actions spilled over to my love life, friendships, and professional life. It was hard to distance myself from the people who raised me, but as an adult I realized that if something is toxic and breaks your spirit, you have to learn to let go.
Once you have addressed the problem, and offered the avenues for help, and they still refuse to take it that help...you have to let people find their own path.
Just a couple tips to remember:
- You always have to love yourself more. I know you want to help, but you can't risk your own mental and physical health to be at stake.
- You have to learn how to love people from a distance. Sometimes you want to help, but sometimes you have to help yourself and step away from the situation.
- Whenever you feel yourself getting angry or frustrated, take deep breaths and remove yourself from the situation.
Always remember self-love and self-appreciation is the most important.
If you have any personal stories that you'd like to share with the readers of xoNecole, please submit your essays to editor@xonecole.com for a chance to have your voice heard and your story featured!
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Roscoe Dash joined xoMan host Kiara Walker to share the journey of his personal and spiritual evolution—from the party anthems that made him famous to a deeper life rooted in faith, family, and purpose. This episode offers an honest look at how the artist has grown beyond early fame, addressing fatherhood, masculinity, creativity, and healing.
Dash opened up about the internal transformation that has guided him away from chasing the spotlight and toward seeking peace. “Faith and fear can’t occupy the same space,” he said, underscoring his shift toward a more spiritually grounded life. Throughout the interview, he emphasized the importance of self-reflection:
“The most important conversations to me, honestly, outside of the ones you have with God, is the ones you have with yourself in the mirror.”
Dash is focused on the man he’s become. “I’m not the accolades I’ve achieved—I’m the person who achieved them,” he added, pointing to a broader understanding of identity and worth. A large part of that growth has come through fatherhood, especially raising daughters, which he said has deepened his understanding of love. “Love is unconditional and love loves to love no matter what,” he shared.
He also spoke candidly about the pressures of fame and its impact on creativity. “Chasing fame can kill your creativity as a musician,” he warns. Instead, his advice to other artists is simple but clear: “Keep your focus on your art form, whatever that may be, and stay passionate.”
The conversation also touches on gender dynamics and emotional safety in relationships. “Safe men make soft women. If she feels safe, she’ll melt like butter,” he said, challenging traditional notions of masculinity. Roscoe also offers wisdom on discernment and spiritual testing: “Sometimes the devil will give you what looks better than your blessing.”
Ultimately, Dash has learned to embrace peace over chaos. “All I can do is control what I can control. And that's how I respond to things and what I'm giving out,” he said. It’s a thoughtful, soulful side of Roscoe Dash that many may not expect—but one that leaves a lasting impression.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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I Tried It: 3 Low-Maintenance Wigs That Will Elevate Your Look This Season
There's nothing like the feeling you get when your hair is done. It can instantly boost your confidence and put you in a great mood. I've never been a stranger to hair trends and I often experiment with the latest braided styles and colors.
But there are moments when I just don't feel like doing my hair. I'm natural and a lot of times I will braid or twist my hair up and cover it with a scarf or turban. However, when I crave a different look without the hassle of styling, I reach for a wig.
I've always had a love-hate relationship with wigs. Sometimes, I struggle to get them to lay flat and don't get me started with the bonding glue process. So when it comes to wearing wigs, I like to keep it nice and breezy around this b--- (word to Katt Williams), especially in the summertime.
That's why I jumped at the chance to try these three versatile wigs from Luvme Hair. Each one offers a unique look and is surprisingly low maintenance, which aligns perfectly with my philosophy that wearing wigs should make life easier. Let’s dive into the three styles below.
Headband Wig
Courtesy
This was the first wig I tried on, and I instantly fell in love with it. So much so that it took me weeks to even consider trying the other two. I’m partial to colored hair, especially blonds, browns, and reds, so I was skeptical about the jet black hair. However, I think the color, combined with the curl pattern, worked surprisingly well for me.
One of the things I really liked about this wig was that I didn’t have to braid my hair down first. I could simply throw it over a low ponytail, which is the epitome of a low-maintenance style. The headband has combs inside and velcro on the ends, ensuring a secure fit.
Half Wig
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I had never worn a half wig before, so I faced some challenges. I cornrowed the bottom half of my hair where the wig would sit, but I believe this made it more difficult to use the combs. It might just be me though. I straightened the top part of my hair to blend it with the wig, which looked cute for about five minutes.
Firstly, I have a brown/blonde color mix on the ends of my hair, and the half wig is black. So, I had to hide some of the color (I didn’t have time to dye the wig). Secondly, straightening my hair myself is always a hassle because it never lasts long. Add to that the summer humidity, and you get a hot mess. Despite all this, I managed to get some cute pictures before things got out of control, and that’s all that matters, right?
Would I consider this a low-maintenance hair style? Yes and no. I think it’s unrealistic for me during the summer, especially since I enjoy summer activities. However, when the weather cools down, I’ll definitely rock it, dyed, of course.
Bob
Courtesy
Now, this is the wig I was nervous about. I never had a bob and I didn't think I would like it. But once I put bobiana on, my mind instantly changed. I finally understood why the gworls rave about the bob so much. It was giving boss. It was giving grown woman. It was giving the bob means business. Iykyk. It was the ultimate statement.
I will say when I first put it on, one side of my wig just would not lay flat. It took some trial and error, but I finally managed to get it to look good. With the bob, I highly recommend braiding your hair down first as small as you can so it can lay as flat as possible. I really liked the ash blonde color, which is perfect for summer. The length also makes it a great low-maintenance style for the season, so you don't have to worry about the hair making your neck sweaty.
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