

We Were Forced To Reschedule Our Wedding Due To The Coronavirus
As Told To is a recurring segment on xoNecole where real women are given a platform to tell their stories in first-person narrative as told to a writer.
This is Lorelle Oliveria's story, as told to Charmin Michelle.
My wedding date was weeks ago, but we never got married.
We were actually about 35 days out from our ceremony when the pandemic really began to affect us and our loved ones. Our original date was scheduled for April 4, 2020 in the beautiful landscapes of Georgia, with 250 of our closest family and friends.
But we all know what happens next.
Initially, I was so overwhelmed with where to start—and at times I still am, actually. For the amount of planning that goes into a normal wedding, imagine having to battle an entire year's worth of a bridal season, scrambling around, as they are doing exactly what you are trying to do.
Will I be able to reschedule?
How will our guests be able to make alternative arrangements?
I was ruined. Everyday, I'm on the phone calling vendors and the wedding venue like a madman, trying to renegotiate and secure a new date. It was also a priority for us to keep our guests as informed as possible. The communication aspect of a wedding is so draining—especially if you don't have a planner—and since we didn’t have one, most of the tying loose ends has fallen on my plate. I am grateful for my sister Lindsay (who is my maid of honor), my bridesmaids and my mom because they have really been there for me. The support of family and friends is really comforting.
So now, I've finally reached a point where I'm like "Lord, let your will be done" and I've quite literally let go and let God.
My fiance, Greg, and I met when we were kids—I was childhood friends with his sister. His sister and I were in a talent show together, and won second place after dancing to "Survivor" (thanks, Kelly, Michelle, and Bey haha). Although I've known his family for years, Greg and I lost contact until well into adulthood. He went off to University of West Georgia, and me, FAMU. Greg and I connected later through a message on social media (he slid in the DMs). We went out on our first date and had such a beautiful time. I quickly realized that the Greg I thought was quiet and reserved, was actually really funny and silly. And in turn, he said he thought I was sweet and down to earth, so we definitely hit it off. Supposedly, the date ended with me saying "CALL ME!" ...so he says, but I don't remember this happening. *side eye*
Anyway, Greg and I became best friends: talking on the phone, FaceTime-ing every night and meeting up occasionally when I was in town from Tallahassee. We continued to build a friendship over the course of two years through outings and deep conversations. He and I established a mutual love and respect for one another with God at the center of it all.
Eventually, we'd get engaged and the rest is history.
Our engagement has been bliss. Our wedding planning has been stressful, but rewarding. And throughout, I've felt a range of emotions. First, stress and anxiety when the pandemic first began. I was trying to remain positive and I was hopeful that we could still have our wedding on April 4. After watching the news, and seeing all of the gathering restrictions, that hope dwindled. I knew what was coming next. We also had out of town guests and members of the bridal party who were not going to be able to make it anymore, which was devastating.
So, Greg and I made the heartbreaking, but very necessary, decision to postpone.
And ironically, I felt a sense of peace when we did. It was just too much trying to anticipate and prepare for the worst and simultaneously the unknown. I was emotional. But I've welcomed the decision now.
The good news is we haven't lost any money in the process; our vendors have been more than amazing and accommodating.
Today, we have a new date scheduled and everything is falling into place. #thankyoulord
—
One of my biggest blessings came in seeing how—now more than ever—Greg really will go the extra mile to make sure I am healthy and OK. He really cares about my heart and does everything to make sure no matter what, that we are a team before anything.
I actually believe postponing has brought us closer.
We rarely hear from the fellas in these situations, so I felt it was only fair to share with you guys his true feelings on rescheduling our wedding. So I asked him, and to my surprise, here is what he said:
"I was definitely disappointed but I was more concerned with how Lorelle would feel about postponing. I think for the bride, they invest so much in the planning and details and it hurts deeper for them to have to let go of that day. I just wanted to be there to support her. I prayed that God would help us both with that decision. I think now we are focused more on the silver lining within the situation. God continues to provide the resources we needed to continue planning and also the transition has been smooth. We are both grateful for that and for our health during this incredibly challenging time."
Whatta man, whatta man.
Even on the day of our original wedding date, Greg bought our favorite meal, prepared a special slideshow presentation of us over the years and gifted me red roses. It made us strong and showed us that our love can get us through tough situations. Our bond was built to survive this.
Ladies, basically what I'm saying is nothing catches God by surprise and all things will work together for our good. I think I was wrapped up in my own plans that having to change them devastated me. But, once I relinquished my stress and anxiety to God, I realized that He is still able to make our dream wedding come true in His perfect timing. I just have to trust that and lean on that; not sit in a pile of worry and fear.
So, if your wedding has been impacted by the coronavirus:
- Pray first. Ask God to give you clarity and revelation about your wedding and the decision to postpone it. Ask Him to give you signs that you are moving in the right direction.
- Do not stress yourself out. I was worrying myself sick everyday (literally would have a migraine daily) just thinking about all of the things that were going wrong, rescheduling, disappointment and trying to find the strength to still complete my wedding checklist. Take one moment at a time but do not contemplate worst case scenarios and get worked up. It just isn't healthy.
- Get a wedding planner or delegate to people to help you. When I decided to reschedule, I told Greg directly that I was overwhelmed. After the stress of moving our wedding date, I do not have the energy to complete all those tasks over again by myself. I just can't do it. If you need to contact guests, florists, vendors etc. delegate someone to do that so you can be at peace. You deserve a moment to catch yourself and to wrap your mind around a different vision and reality.
- Discuss with other brides in the same situation. Talking to other brides going through this pandemic has really helped me. I even found a cool forum on Wedding Wire that allowed me to read other brides' stories. You can find hope in the fact that you are not going through this alone.
Everything will work out for all of us how it is supposed to, we've been through too much this year for it not to. Just know thatnothing is bigger than your faith in Him. Not even a deadly global virus.
To keep up with the progress of Greg and Lorelle's wedding, you may follow Lorelle here on Instagram. Also, feel free to send her well wishes on their journey as the rescheduled date approaches!
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Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
An author by the name of Alexandra Katehakis once said this about orgasms: “Great spiritual teachers throughout the ages have stated that orgasm is the closest some people come to a spiritual experience because of the momentary loss of self. Why is this true? Because with spiritual sex, you move beyond orgasm into a connection with yourself, your partner, and the divine — recognizing them all as one.”
If it’s counterintuitive to what you’ve ever thought about orgasms, believe it or not, there are even pastors who have said that climaxing is the closest comprehension of heaven on this side of it: it is an extreme kind of bliss that is indescribable and is best experienced between two people who share a sacrificial kind of love for one another.
Although this might seem like a heavy way to intro this particular topic, because the O Method is an orgasm-achieving technique that centers around housing energy, embracing the mental practice of manifestation, and the attempt to achieve the best climaxes ever — it all works together pretty well if you ask me. If you want to take your orgasms to the next level, it’s important that you get out of yourself (to a certain extent), that you see the spiritual role that manifestation plays, and that you are open to trying new things. No doubt about it.
So, let’s learn more about what the O Method is all about and how it very well could be just what you’ve been looking for…even if you didn’t know it.
What Is the “O Method” All About?
Question: When’s the last time you’ve had an orgasm? Not just any orgasm — I mean a really mind-blowing one (I’ll give you a second to think about it). Now, what if you could manifest that experience to the point where it wasn’t a rare occurrence but something that happened almost every time that you and your partner had sex with each other? How absolutely awesome would that be?
That is pretty much what the O Method is all about — helping you achieve the kind of orgasms (and sexual pleasure, in general) that you desire through the practice of manifestation. And since your biggest sex organ is your brain, it would make perfect sense that even with all of the tips and techniques that you might learn to do as far as your body is concerned, honing in on what you think about is super imperative to sexual fulfillment, too. And that’s just where manifestation comes in.
What If You’ve Never “Manifested” Anything Before?
Before we get into a quick lesson on manifestation, I think it’s important to mention two things. One, for the cynics, there is a lot of truth in the fact that it’s got some solid spiritual basis to it because even the Good Book says that as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). At the same time, that same Good Book tells us that faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26). So, while it is always a good idea to focus on good, positive, and productive thoughts, just thinking about them isn’t enough — at some point, you’ve also gotta get out here and DO something (bookmark that).
Okay, with that mini-sermon out of the way, whether it’s in the bedroom or not, manifestation is basically about focusing on something tangible that you desire, harnessing your energy in such a way that your words and actions are directed towards that longing until what you want, well, manifests. For the record, aside from this having a spiritual backing to it, in many ways, science cosigns on manifesting, too. There is actually a scientific process known as neuroplasticity that consists of reframing your mind so that your actions ultimately end up aligning with your goals — and that is another way to look at manifestation.
So, what if you’re someone who has never set out to do a manifestation practice before? No worries. Something that’s awesome about it is there are several different approaches that you can take.
Some people manifest what they want in their lives via:
- Journaling
- Visualization/Creating vision boards
- Writing down their desires before going to bed (so that they can “download” them into their dream state)
- Creating mantras and affirmations
- Applying the 369 Manifestation Method (you can learn more about that here)
- Meditating
- Learning more about what you want to manifest (which brings forth clarity)
This is important to keep in mind because, when it comes to manifesting the types of orgasms that you want to have, as you can see, you can try different manifestation methods until you find one (or ones) that you are truly comfortable with. One that can ease you into the entire process rather smoothly is something known as sex journaling.
How Sex Journaling Can Actually Help You to Have an Orgasm
As a writer, I’m a big fan of journaling. Mostly because it’s a way to get out some of your deepest thoughts and feelings so that you’re able to really process what is happening inside of you in a private setting. And when it comes to sex journaling, specifically, it’s all about centering yourself on the things sexually that you want to “unpack,” get clarity on or come to some revelations about. For instance, if there’s only been one partner from your past who’s been able to help you achieve the type of orgasms that you wish to manifest, journaling about what makes him different from the other guys can provide you with some solid ah-ha moments.
Or if you need help getting as specific as possible about the sexual experiences that you’re after, journaling can help to make that happen for you — because one thing that manifesting reminds us all to do is be as specific as possible.
Yeah, simply saying, “I want to have better sex” isn’t detailed enough when you want to get your energy to match with your desires — instead, describe how all of your senses should feel in the experience, along with why, that can get you so much closer to achieving your goal. Once those things are documented, you can segue into creating mantras and/or meditation that are based on them. Yeah, sex journaling really is an underrated superpower on a lot of levels (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”).
5 Tips for Making the O Method Work for You
Now that you know more about what the O Method is and how manifestation plays a direct role in its process, let’s talk about five ways to make the O Method truly effective in your own (sex) life.
1. Focus, FULLY, on your feminine energy. What do rose quartz, amethyst, moonstone (which is a Gemini birthstone as well; yes, I’m a Gemini), selenite, and rhodonite all have in common? They’re crystals that help you to go deeper into your divine feminine energy. Traits that are associated with this include compassion, creativity, kindness, gentleness, and sensuality (feminine energy is also accepting and forgiving). If you were to study energy from a biological standpoint, it’s about producing change, responding to stimuli, and having the ability to do what needs to be done (work). So, when it comes to manifesting the kind of orgasms or sexual experiences that you want, using things like your creativity and gentleness in your thoughts and actions can play a role in bringing balance to your partner’s masculinity, which can create a profound sense of pleasure — after all, opposites do attract.
2. Don’t hold back on what it is that you desire. Whenever I interview sex therapists, something that they all say is, a huge mistake that people make as far as sexual satisfaction is concerned is, they have walls up — not just with their partners but even within themselves. Sometimes, there is intimidation, fear, or even shame around what they really want to happen during sex to the point where they aren’t able to channel their energy fully in those directions in order to manifest what they want. For the O Method to work, you can’t let those types of negative emotions hinder you; the more you are able to articulate what you want and how you want it, the better chance you have of making it happen. So yes, get graphic. As graphic as possible.
3. Make manifestation a daily practice. Repetition is important when it comes to manifestation. That’s because the more you declare what you desire (a mantra), get still and think on it (meditation), or look at the “art” that you’ve created surrounding it (visualization), the quicker it becomes a part of you. So yes, make manifestation a daily practice. For instance, if one of your mantras is, “I am going to have intensely passionate orgasms, one right after the other,” don’t just state that 15 minutes before sex is going to happen. Wake up and declare it. Then say it on your lunch break. And again before turning in. The more your thoughts are “streamlined” in this way, the easier it will be for your body to follow suit.
4. Share this practice with your partner. If you were to do even more research on the O Method, one thing that most of the articles will mention is it’s a practice that you can do alone or with your partner. Indeed. However, I just want to make sure that you get into your psyche that great sex is, in part, about good communication. And so, the more comfortable you are sharing with your partner what you are doing as far as the O Method is concerned and what you ultimately want to happen as a result of the practice, the easier it will be for him to “match your energy” — both in and out of the bedroom. And when your partner is on the same page as you? That definitely increases the chances of attaining your sexual desires — exponentially so.
5. Stay in the moment. While I was reading one article on manifestation, I really appreciated something that the author said: manifestation isn’t some supernatural power. In other words, while it can be beneficial, it’s not like you can just think of something, and it instantly appears out of nowhere. Manifesting is a discipline, and it must be accompanied by action, consistency, and patience — this means that you must also practice mindfulness. Meaning, now that you know better what you’re looking to achieve as far as sex is concerned, every time that it transpires, maintain a level of positive energy, remember what your end goal is, and then determine in your mind to enjoy the moments as they come. Remember, manifestation isn’t to add stress…it’s to cultivate clarity.
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At the end of the day, the O Method is simply a way of reminding you that your mind plays a huge role in your sexual pleasure, and when you channel it and your energy exactly where you want them both to go, you’ll be amazed what your body is capable of doing…and accomplishing.
So, what kind of orgasm are you wanting to achieve? You’ve got a tool to get you there. USE IT.
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