Something that I get from my (late) father is a deep adoration for information, no matter how “random” it might be. And so, since I spend A LOT of my time writing about sex and relationships (not necessarily in the order), it’s always fun to discover what science has to say about intimacy. For instance, something that I’ve mentioned in sex-themed articles before is that our sense of smell plays a bigger role in sexual arousal and pleasure than it’s typically given credit for.
Not only does science reveal that the keener your sense of smell is, the easier it is for you to climax, but it also states that around ovulation, you’re more drawn to the natural scent of a man. Not to mention the fact that research also reveals that when a man takes in the scent of a woman’s (healthy) genitalia, his testosterone levels naturally increase.
And this is why I oftentimes say that one of the best things about sex is it’s an activity that thoroughly incorporates all five senses: taste, touch, sight, hearing, and yes, smell. That is why I wanted to share 10 scents that are proven to make it easier for you to not just get into the mood for sex but orgasm once you’re in the process of participating in it.
1. Vanilla
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Back in the day, I penned an article for the platform entitled, “8 Natural Aphrodisiac Scents, Where They Go & How To Make Them Last.” The first one that made the list was vanilla, and, as you can see, it’s on this one too (carpolobia and jasmine were featured as well). Am I being redundant? Eh. Perhaps a little. However, it should go on record that an aphrodisiac is something that is designed to arouse you — and while that definitely can make it easier to orgasm (and have a more pleasurable sexual experience all around), today, we’re looking into scents that can make it easier to climax, specifically. Because, as I’m sure we all know, you can be aroused all day long, and you can even enjoy copulation with someone…that doesn’t automatically mean you’re gonna see any mountaintops, though.
Okay, so vanilla. It’s funny because, as I was reading a recent review for Tom Ford’s Vanilla Sex perfume, I thought about how so many people tend to think that vanilla sex is ho-hum when the scent of vanilla is anything but. One reason is that the sweetness of vanilla not only helps to reduce anxiety, but if your partner struggles with moments of impotence or erectile dysfunction (ED) or simply lasting long enough to get you what you need to orgasm, vanilla has the ability to address all of these issues too. Awesome.
2. Carpolobia
Speaking of sex-related issues some men may have, if yours is dealing with infertility, the African plant carpolobia is one that might be of assistance for him. Speaking of your man, whether he decides to chew on this plant (in stick form, like a licorice stick) or apply it as an oil (whether it’s on your body or his own), carpolobia can also improve his sexual performance and even increase his stamina. And since it can take (on average) twice the amount of time for women to orgasm as it does men, well — I’m pretty sure why you get why I just had to add this scent to the list.
3. Patchouli
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Even though a lot of people like patchouli because of the way it smells, don’t sleep on the fact that it’s great for your skin. Between its antifungal and anti-inflammatory properties, it’s good for you if you’re looking for an all-natural way to treat acne, dermatitis, and dandruff. Patchouli’s also bomb if you want to relieve depression, suppress your appetite, speed up the healing process of a cold, or even soothe an upset stomach.
On the climaxing tip, patchouli is another oil that will reduce anxiety (there are plenty of studies that link anxiety and stress to inhibited orgasms). Plus, it can help to sharpen your concentration, and since you also need to be focused (on the moment) in order to climax, that makes it highly beneficial to sexual fulfillment, wouldn’t you say?
4. Saffron
As a spice, saffron contains anti-inflammatory properties and antioxidants that can do everything from improve your heart health and vision to reduce depression-related symptoms and make it easier to fall and stay asleep at night. Some other cool things about saffron are it contains cancer-fighting properties, helps to reduce blood sugar levels, and it can make PMS symptoms more bearable as well.
Orgasm-wise, if you add the spice to milk (or your favorite milk alternative), it can intensify your orgasms (check out “Want A More Intense Orgasm? These Tips Are Sure To Make You Cream”). Scent-wise, you can use this in the form of an essential oil; its spicy smell will help to reduce sexual dysfunction in both men and women. And since one thing that qualifies as “sexual dysfunction” is the inability to orgasm — welp, there you have it.
5. Jasmine
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When it comes to the topic of essential oils and aphrodisiacs, I’d be shocked if you ever came across an article that didn’t mention jasmine. It’s fragrant. It’s seductive. And it’s the kind of scent that women really like to wear, and men really like to smell. Aside from that, if you’re looking for the kind of oil that will improve your moods, lower your stress levels, boost immunity, fight off infections, or even bring relief to PMS and menopause symptoms, it’s jasmine to the rescue.
Since jasmine can also cause your system to mimic many of the actions that come with having an orgasm (including increasing your heart rate and body temperature), that’s why it’s a top-tier essential oil and scent as far as climaxing goes.
6. Ginseng
Ginseng is an herb that you can also wear as a scent (like infusing it with your favorite carrier oil or simply purchasing it as an essential oil). In the health benefits department, it helps to lower blood sugar levels, gives you more energy, boosts cognitive function, and decreases bodily inflammation. Also, if flu season always seems to get a hold of you, there are studies to support that ginseng can make getting over the flu faster and easier.
When it comes to orgasms (red), ginseng has been associated with treating erectile dysfunction (ED). Another cool thing about ginseng is if you’re a woman who has a hard time getting off due to menopause, ginseng can help to bring your sexual arousal back. Yay!
7. Ylang-Ylang
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The fruity-floral smell of ylang-ylang has all sorts of antibacterial, antifungal, and anti-inflammatory properties. These can help to bring relief to chronic body aches and pains; plus, they can help to treat a variety of fungal and bacterial infections.
Sexually, something that makes ylang-ylang stand out is the fact that it not only has the ability to reduce the feelings that are associated with anxiety, but it also can improve your self-esteem. This is both awesome and quite relevant, considering the fact that there is plenty of data out here to support the fact that the higher your sense of self-worth is, the easier it is for you to enjoy sex — and climax, too.
8. Lavender
What doesn’t lavender do? Lawd. I mean, if you’ve got eczema or acne, use lavender. Got trouble falling asleep? Use lavender. Seeking some all-natural asthma relief? Use lavender. Wish your hair was stronger or longer? Use lavender. Perimenopause or menopause-related hot flashes getting on your very last damn nerve? Yep — you guessed it: lavender.
Wanna climb the walls tonight? Try some lavender. The reason why it can help you to get off is because it has a way of reducing stress while increasing sexual desire at the same time. And since stress has been proven to keep women so distracted that it can literally prevent an orgasm from transpiring — the less stressed you are in the bedroom, the absolute better.
9. Citrus
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Citrus oil is wonderful on a myriad of levels. For instance, lemon oil is great for treating morning sickness and depression-related symptoms, improving the quality of your skin, reducing pain, and treating yeast infections naturally. Orange oil can help to improve the quality of your workouts, help you to lose weight, and put you into a better mood.
If you’re postmenopausal, the aromatherapy of citrus oil can help you to “get your groove back.” And since lemon and lime juices can help men out in the ED department, some believe that the scent can be just as effective.
10. Oakmoss
People who enjoy earthy pine-like scents will oftentimes choose a type of perfume that contains the fungus oakmoss in it, whether they realize it or not. When it comes to its health benefits, this is a type of scent that experts are still discovering new things about, although many say that it has potent antimicrobial, antioxidant, and anticancer properties and that it can help to do things like break up congestion, soothe a cough and make it easier to breathe if you are dealing with a cold. Some also say that it can bring forth relief to digestive issues and it can even help to calm your nervous system.
As I bring this to a close, oakmoss is worth at least trying out in the bedroom because it’s starting to gain some respectable popularity when it comes to being able to increase arousal, particularly in women. So, if you want to bring something unexpected into your boudoir tonight, oakmoss should go on the very top of your list.
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There you have it. Ten scents that not only smell alluring; they can get you that orgasm that you both desire and deserve more often, too.
Whew. Essential oil shopping, anyone?
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So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
Despite launching media careers from different pathways, the two New York-based women have forged a friendship where they can discuss their ambitions and challenges.
Both women are part of xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, recognized in the Viral Voices category for the impact they’ve made through storytelling, creativity, and authenticity. Together, they represent what it means to build an "It Girl" brand with integrity and depth. In the spirit of SheaMoisture’s "Yes, And" ethos, Les and Kayla embody the freedom to be multi-layered as women evolving boldly into every version of themselves.
This conversation has been condensed and lightly edited for clarity
On Forging Their Own Paths
Les Alfred: Being a Jane of all trades is incredibly challenging. And one of the challenges I've faced is that the scope of what podcasters now need to do has increased so much. When I first interviewed you in 2019, I was still very new at it, but I remember being on a Skype call with you from my bedroom in Seattle. That was how I ran the show. And that was good enough. That is absolutely not good enough these days. The scope and the quality keeps increasing, but the resources that you have don't necessarily increase in order to remain competitive.
I get asked so many questions from people who want to get into podcasts and they want to get started. Most of the time, I'm just like, 'I don't have tips for you.' Because, one, I don't know what it's like to start in this current environment. Two, I know what it takes to contend and be consistent in this environment. The barrier of entry is a lot higher in terms of having something of quality than it was before.
On Balancing Ambition and Rest
Kayla Greaves: I've had to make a very clear effort to slow down and just not take on as much. Yes, you're running a business, but you're also living your life. I had one of those days yesterday. I just laid down and listened to white noise for hours because I just needed my brain to just be clear. I called a friend. I cried.
I'm starting over again today. The sun is out. It's a new day. And that's just sometimes what you have to do. You can't show up for your audience or for other people, if you can't show for yourself. I think that creativity comes from a place of living your life and having genuine experiences, and then sharing those experiences through your art.
"I had to give myself permission to let myself grow publicly in ways that I'd already done personally."
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On Evolving Through Growth and Rebranding
Les: I didn't create Balanced Black Girl until 2018, but I started blogging and creating content and doing things under the Balanced brand in 2014. I was 24 years old at the time. Now, I'm 36. The things that were important to me, the perspective that I had and the stories I wanted to tell were entirely different. I think I had to give myself permission to let myself grow publicly in ways that I'd already done personally. The show isn't really about wellness anymore. And that shift started happening a couple of years ago.
When we started expanding into more lifestyle topics, more self-help topics [and] talking about entrepreneurship, the audience responded really well. That was when the show really started to grow and take off. And that was what got so much more engagement than the episodes back in 2020 when I was doing hour-long deep dives on gut health.
Rebranding the show was something I've been thinking about for a long time. When I was finally like, 'Oh, I need to do this,' honestly, was the 2024 presidential election. I was like, these people are about to be in here acting crazy. I do not feel safe with my business name being what it is. I don't want to be targeted for any BS. We saw what they did to the Fearless Fund.
"You have to balance your integrity with your income."
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On Integrity Over Income
Kayla: I have many other interests aside from beauty. I'm growing and I'm changing as a person. I'm not the same person I was when I started at InStyle in 2019 before the pandemic rocked everybody's world. I don't think reviewing every single lipstick that comes out is exciting or interesting, because everybody does it now, and everybody feels like they're qualified to speak on things that they're not qualified to speak on. I'm currently in that pain point of growth.
I don't think I have always been in environments where I've been encouraged to branch out on my own ideas. I finished Ina Garten’s memoir maybe a month ago. She kept repeating this quote in her book. She said, ‘What goes in early, goes in deep.’ Now that I'm on my own and I don't have the resources of a traditional media company, which is what I have become accustomed to, sometimes it's difficult for me to be like, 'Okay, just go ahead with the thing.'
I think, Les, just the other day, you reposted somebody saying that they let go of a five-figure deal and then got double the next day because it just didn't feel aligned for them. Those are the things that happen. I have to find a balance of, 'Okay, how do I keep myself afloat?' And that may mean I may not be balling out of control just yet, but I'm okay for now. I can buy myself nice things every once in a while, but you have to balance your integrity with your income.
Les: There are just certain lines that I'm not willing to cross. Especially when I created more wellness content, one of those lines was I will not promote any sort of weight loss product. All of these GLP-1s all want to advertise on my podcast. I actually have nothing against those types of products, but I don't ever want someone to look at what I'm putting into the world and think that I'm saying that they need to feel a certain way about their bodies.
Even if the money is great, that's not for me to say, and that's not the type of message that I want to put out here. Or, I had another kind of brand deal come through that would have required me to divulge things about my personal life that I just don't really want my audience knowing about me, and bringing them along on journeys that I just find personal and I want to keep offline. I don’t want to be known for dragging my mess all over the internet for a buck.
I don't want to be known for being an influencer. I would love to be 1,000% in on my podcast, scale it, have it grow to be a media empire where I'm producing and putting out other bodies of work. For now, until that other side of the business really picks up and gets to the point where I want it to be, I kind of need to play the influencer game a little bit to live in this expensive city. But I'm gonna do it on my terms. It's a constant compromise that I'm coming to with myself.
"You can never make a big vision come to fruition if you're sitting and you're waiting for somebody else to tell you exactly what to do."
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On Mutual Admiration and Friendship
Les: Something that I really admire about you in having known you for the past couple of years is you don't wait for a roadmap. You jump in, you roll up your sleeves, and you do it. You can never make a big vision come to fruition if you're sitting and you're waiting for somebody else to tell you exactly what to do.
Kayla: Well, first of all, I want to say thank you for saying that, because that means so much to me, and it's very affirming. That's exactly how I feel about you. I remember, even at your first live show, you're like, ‘Oh my god, I'm so stressed. I don't know what I'm doing.’ And, the shit sold out. And, you know, and now, like, you see the growth of the podcast. And you have nearly 61,000 subscribers on YouTube. I just checked recently.
I talk a lot about people that really just need to not say anything on the internet, because it's so frustrating as somebody who grew up as a traditional journalist. You want people to fact check and ask thoughtful questions and have good conversations. I've never said that about you. I've always loved your podcast. And I've sent a lot of your episodes to friends when they're going through specific things that you're talking about.
This season has been a little bit slower to me, so you've been a constant source of inspiration, and it's just been such a pleasure to see your podcast grow despite the challenges you've had. I know it's not easy, but you continue to grow and continue to push through, and I really admire that as somebody who sat and cried yesterday and listened to white noise.
And this is why I tell you all the time, you really do inspire me. I love you a lot.
Les: Oh my gosh, I love you a lot. I'm so glad that the podcast brought us together.
Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
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