

Something that I get from my (late) father is a deep adoration for information, no matter how “random” it might be. And so, since I spend A LOT of my time writing about sex and relationships (not necessarily in the order), it’s always fun to discover what science has to say about intimacy. For instance, something that I’ve mentioned in sex-themed articles before is that our sense of smell plays a bigger role in sexual arousal and pleasure than it’s typically given credit for.
Not only does science reveal that the keener your sense of smell is, the easier it is for you to climax, but it also states that around ovulation, you’re more drawn to the natural scent of a man. Not to mention the fact that research also reveals that when a man takes in the scent of a woman’s (healthy) genitalia, his testosterone levels naturally increase.
And this is why I oftentimes say that one of the best things about sex is it’s an activity that thoroughly incorporates all five senses: taste, touch, sight, hearing, and yes, smell. That is why I wanted to share 10 scents that are proven to make it easier for you to not just get into the mood for sex but orgasm once you’re in the process of participating in it.
1. Vanilla
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Back in the day, I penned an article for the platform entitled, “8 Natural Aphrodisiac Scents, Where They Go & How To Make Them Last.” The first one that made the list was vanilla, and, as you can see, it’s on this one too (carpolobia and jasmine were featured as well). Am I being redundant? Eh. Perhaps a little. However, it should go on record that an aphrodisiac is something that is designed to arouse you — and while that definitely can make it easier to orgasm (and have a more pleasurable sexual experience all around), today, we’re looking into scents that can make it easier to climax, specifically. Because, as I’m sure we all know, you can be aroused all day long, and you can even enjoy copulation with someone…that doesn’t automatically mean you’re gonna see any mountaintops, though.
Okay, so vanilla. It’s funny because, as I was reading a recent review for Tom Ford’s Vanilla Sex perfume, I thought about how so many people tend to think that vanilla sex is ho-hum when the scent of vanilla is anything but. One reason is that the sweetness of vanilla not only helps to reduce anxiety, but if your partner struggles with moments of impotence or erectile dysfunction (ED) or simply lasting long enough to get you what you need to orgasm, vanilla has the ability to address all of these issues too. Awesome.
2. Carpolobia
Speaking of sex-related issues some men may have, if yours is dealing with infertility, the African plant carpolobia is one that might be of assistance for him. Speaking of your man, whether he decides to chew on this plant (in stick form, like a licorice stick) or apply it as an oil (whether it’s on your body or his own), carpolobia can also improve his sexual performance and even increase his stamina. And since it can take (on average) twice the amount of time for women to orgasm as it does men, well — I’m pretty sure why you get why I just had to add this scent to the list.
3. Patchouli
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Even though a lot of people like patchouli because of the way it smells, don’t sleep on the fact that it’s great for your skin. Between its antifungal and anti-inflammatory properties, it’s good for you if you’re looking for an all-natural way to treat acne, dermatitis, and dandruff. Patchouli’s also bomb if you want to relieve depression, suppress your appetite, speed up the healing process of a cold, or even soothe an upset stomach.
On the climaxing tip, patchouli is another oil that will reduce anxiety (there are plenty of studies that link anxiety and stress to inhibited orgasms). Plus, it can help to sharpen your concentration, and since you also need to be focused (on the moment) in order to climax, that makes it highly beneficial to sexual fulfillment, wouldn’t you say?
4. Saffron
As a spice, saffron contains anti-inflammatory properties and antioxidants that can do everything from improve your heart health and vision to reduce depression-related symptoms and make it easier to fall and stay asleep at night. Some other cool things about saffron are it contains cancer-fighting properties, helps to reduce blood sugar levels, and it can make PMS symptoms more bearable as well.
Orgasm-wise, if you add the spice to milk (or your favorite milk alternative), it can intensify your orgasms (check out “Want A More Intense Orgasm? These Tips Are Sure To Make You Cream”). Scent-wise, you can use this in the form of an essential oil; its spicy smell will help to reduce sexual dysfunction in both men and women. And since one thing that qualifies as “sexual dysfunction” is the inability to orgasm — welp, there you have it.
5. Jasmine
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When it comes to the topic of essential oils and aphrodisiacs, I’d be shocked if you ever came across an article that didn’t mention jasmine. It’s fragrant. It’s seductive. And it’s the kind of scent that women really like to wear, and men really like to smell. Aside from that, if you’re looking for the kind of oil that will improve your moods, lower your stress levels, boost immunity, fight off infections, or even bring relief to PMS and menopause symptoms, it’s jasmine to the rescue.
Since jasmine can also cause your system to mimic many of the actions that come with having an orgasm (including increasing your heart rate and body temperature), that’s why it’s a top-tier essential oil and scent as far as climaxing goes.
6. Ginseng
Ginseng is an herb that you can also wear as a scent (like infusing it with your favorite carrier oil or simply purchasing it as an essential oil). In the health benefits department, it helps to lower blood sugar levels, gives you more energy, boosts cognitive function, and decreases bodily inflammation. Also, if flu season always seems to get a hold of you, there are studies to support that ginseng can make getting over the flu faster and easier.
When it comes to orgasms (red), ginseng has been associated with treating erectile dysfunction (ED). Another cool thing about ginseng is if you’re a woman who has a hard time getting off due to menopause, ginseng can help to bring your sexual arousal back. Yay!
7. Ylang-Ylang
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The fruity-floral smell of ylang-ylang has all sorts of antibacterial, antifungal, and anti-inflammatory properties. These can help to bring relief to chronic body aches and pains; plus, they can help to treat a variety of fungal and bacterial infections.
Sexually, something that makes ylang-ylang stand out is the fact that it not only has the ability to reduce the feelings that are associated with anxiety, but it also can improve your self-esteem. This is both awesome and quite relevant, considering the fact that there is plenty of data out here to support the fact that the higher your sense of self-worth is, the easier it is for you to enjoy sex — and climax, too.
8. Lavender
What doesn’t lavender do? Lawd. I mean, if you’ve got eczema or acne, use lavender. Got trouble falling asleep? Use lavender. Seeking some all-natural asthma relief? Use lavender. Wish your hair was stronger or longer? Use lavender. Perimenopause or menopause-related hot flashes getting on your very last damn nerve? Yep — you guessed it: lavender.
Wanna climb the walls tonight? Try some lavender. The reason why it can help you to get off is because it has a way of reducing stress while increasing sexual desire at the same time. And since stress has been proven to keep women so distracted that it can literally prevent an orgasm from transpiring — the less stressed you are in the bedroom, the absolute better.
9. Citrus
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Citrus oil is wonderful on a myriad of levels. For instance, lemon oil is great for treating morning sickness and depression-related symptoms, improving the quality of your skin, reducing pain, and treating yeast infections naturally. Orange oil can help to improve the quality of your workouts, help you to lose weight, and put you into a better mood.
If you’re postmenopausal, the aromatherapy of citrus oil can help you to “get your groove back.” And since lemon and lime juices can help men out in the ED department, some believe that the scent can be just as effective.
10. Oakmoss
People who enjoy earthy pine-like scents will oftentimes choose a type of perfume that contains the fungus oakmoss in it, whether they realize it or not. When it comes to its health benefits, this is a type of scent that experts are still discovering new things about, although many say that it has potent antimicrobial, antioxidant, and anticancer properties and that it can help to do things like break up congestion, soothe a cough and make it easier to breathe if you are dealing with a cold. Some also say that it can bring forth relief to digestive issues and it can even help to calm your nervous system.
As I bring this to a close, oakmoss is worth at least trying out in the bedroom because it’s starting to gain some respectable popularity when it comes to being able to increase arousal, particularly in women. So, if you want to bring something unexpected into your boudoir tonight, oakmoss should go on the very top of your list.
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There you have it. Ten scents that not only smell alluring; they can get you that orgasm that you both desire and deserve more often, too.
Whew. Essential oil shopping, anyone?
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- We’ve Got Some All-Natural Ways To Increase Stamina & Sensitivity ›
- So, Here Are Some Teas That Will Make Your Sex Life So Much Better ›
- Eat Your Way To Better Sex With Aphrodisiacs ›
'Sistas' Star Skyh Black On The Power Of Hypnotherapy & Emotional Vulnerability For Men
In this insightful episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Sistas star Skyh Black, as he opened up about his journey of emotional growth, resilience, and self-discovery. The episode touches on emotional availability, self-worth, masculinity, and the importance of therapy in overcoming personal struggles.
Skyh Black on Emotional Availability & Love
On Emotional Availability & Vulnerability
“My wife and I wouldn't be where we are today if both of us weren't emotionally available,” he shared about his wife and Sistas co-star KJ Smith, highlighting the value of vulnerability and emotional openness in a relationship. His approach to masculinity stands in contrast to the traditional, stoic ideals. Skyh is not afraid to embrace softness as part of his emotional expression.
On Overcoming Self-Doubt & Worthiness Issues
Skyh reflected on the self-doubt and worthiness issues that he struggled with, especially early in his career. He opens up about his time in Los Angeles, living what he calls the “LA struggle story”—in a one-bedroom with three roommates—and being homeless three times over the span of 16 years. “I always had this self-sabotaging thought process,” Skyh said. “For me, I feel therapy is essential, period. I have a regular therapist and I go to a hypnotherapist.”
How Therapy Helped Him Heal From Self-Doubt
On Hypnotherapy & Empowering Self-Acceptance
Skyh’s journey is a testament to the power of tapping into self-development despite life’s struggles and being open to growth. “I had to submit to the fact that God was doing good in my life, and that I'm worthy of it. I had a worthiness issue and I did not realize that. So, that’s what the hypnotherapy did. It brought me back to the core. What is wrong so that I can fix it?”
Watch the full podcast episode below:
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Skyh Black Says Wife KJ Smith "Saved The Second Part Of My Life"
Before the red carpets, acting gigs, and coupled-up photo ops with his wife KJ Smith, Skyh Black was grinding through self-doubt, LA struggle story, and the kind of inner questioning that has broken the spirit of many Hollywood dreamers.
Most of us might recognize the Miami-born actor for his breakout roles on Tyler Perry’s Sistas and All The Queen’s Men, but for Skyh, the road to success wasn’t easy. On this week's episode of xoMAN, the actor opened up about his Hollywood come-up, what he had to heal to get there, and the woman who not only saw him, but made him feel the safest he's ever felt.
"She Saved The Second Part Of My Life": Skyh Black On Finding Safety In Love
"I love, like that is my lifeline," Skyh said of KJ Smith, his wife and fellow actor. "I really feel she saved the second part of my life."
The two met while filming Sistas, but as Skyh shared with xoMAN host Kiara Walker, their love didn't actually blossom until later. "People think we got together there, but we didn’t even get together—we got together outside," he explained. "At that time, we were both in LA. So she called me right after I booked All the Queens Men. And she said, ‘Hey’—she DM'd me," he laughs. "She slid in the DMs. She did."
Watch the full podcast episode here:
From DMs To Soulmates: How Skyh & KJ’s Love Story Began
That DM turned into a three-hour phone call, a Malibu picnic first date, and the beginning of a love story that’s still unfolding, now with a baby on the way. “She did not let me get none that night,” Skyh joked, “But we have not been apart since the 7th of January. 2021.”
Their relationship, much like their careers, is deeply intertwined. The couple has a coffee brand together (BLACK. Coffee), a production company, and will soon star in an upcoming film. "It's going to be interesting," Skyh said of the forthcoming project. "We know each other so well. And we know each other's weaknesses, and we also know each other-- we're not nice to each other," he laughed. "We love each other too much to be nice to each other... when we're working."
When asked by Kiara if that dynamic ever gets annoying, Skyh didn’t hesitate: "Not at all. I've never met anybody that knows me better than me and knows what's better for me than me."
On How He Knew She Was His One
Skyh Black and KJ Smith
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There’s a depth to how Skyh talks about KJ that feels rare and moving, even from the outside looking in. "That is such a loaded question," he said when asked how he knew she was the one. "I mean, K is like. It's just like, it doesn't not make sense. It's just kinda like, 'That's the love of my life, bro.' I don't know, I just feel so safe."
And it shows. "Every little instance it's like a twinkle in your eye," Kiara pointed out during the interview. "I wish she was here," Skyh said with a smile.
At a time when vulnerability from Black men is still often seen as taboo, Skyh’s transparency is refreshing af. But it also serves as a reminder that real love can be healing, collaborative, and deeply affirming.
And as he enters a new chapter as a husband, actor, entrepreneur, and soon-to-be father (Baby Black is loading), it’s clear Skyh isn’t just surviving Hollywood, he’s building a legacy with his love right by his side.
Want more of Skyh’s love story, career gems, and what keeps him grounded? Catch the full episode of the xoMAN now streaming on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube.
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