Ah, the diaspora gap. It's shrinking, sure, but man do we still have lots of work to do. Lately, I've been finding myself lighting my candles with my wine, chatting with the ancestors, and finding new stand-out content to encourage myself to be more intentional in finding ways of getting closer to our eternal greatness of home besides the obvious visit (thanks COVID). And by this, I don't mean just going out and purchasing a shirt with the continent. I mean truly touching basis on what it means to be black in the hills of Ghana, or the markets of Nairobi, or the beaches of Zanzibar.
Or even Zamunda.
Amazon Prime Video
My curiosity set my sights on one of the most anticipated movies of this generation, Coming 2 America, the sequel to the 1988 cult classic, Coming to America. And the excitement of it's release, hilariously has everyone in full African mode.
The film, set in the lush and royal country of Zamunda, follows King Akeem and his trusted confidante Semmi as they embark on an all-new hilarious adventure that has them traversing the globe from their great African nation to the borough of Queens, New York–where it all began. Eddie Murphy reprises his role as the ever-charming Prince Akeem and leads an all-star cast of our faves, including Arsenio Hall, Wesley Snipes, James Earl Jones, Teyana Taylor, and more.
In partnership with Amazon Transportation, Amazon Prime is taking the royal treatment up a notch by adorning 220 delivery vehicles, four trucks, and one plane with specialty wrapping featuring King Akeem. (Check out more photos of the fleet here.) They can be seen in eight key U.S. regions to celebrate the Zamundan Royal Family's return to America. On top of that, Prime Video has partnered with local Black-owned restaurants to provide over 5,000 meals to those in need. Yet another reason this film is one for the books!
If you're like me, you were excited to throw on Amazon Prime Video to immerse yourself in the motherland as we revisit what's been going on in Zamunda since 1998. And honestly, this inspired me to explore other people's stories about venturing to America from Africa. What country did they migrate from? What was their purpose? Were they looking for love like Akeem? Did they want different opportunities? And if so, did they find it?
I found three Africans who were all open to discuss their journeys of coming to America. Here are their stories:
*Some responses have been cut or edited for clarity.
"A lot of people ask me, 'Why America?' or why I chose to move here. Well, I went to SCAD, which is the Savannah College of Art and Design. We had a career fair at our school where they came to visit so they were just putting the name out there and it really stuck with me because I really, really just wanted to go to a creative school.
"In Kenya, at the time, there weren't that many schools that did that, mostly because Kenya is traditional so there's not that many schools that focus on the creative industry."
"What's odd to me, is when I tell Americans this story, it shocks them, like 'What do you mean you just left to go to a different country?' But I feel like it's kind of normal in Kenya to do that. Or maybe if you're from a third world country, it's kind of normal to try to go after experiences outside [the country]. But for Americans, they find that to be crazy. I dealt with it, though, and I have some family here and a lot of my best friends were coming to the States as well, so I never really felt alone.
"But anyway, because it's really hard to get financial aid as an immigrant, I had to apply to lots and lots of scholarships to minimize my cost. I studied branded entertainment which is a cross between advertising, TV production, digital marketing and because it's a new field with social media and a huge part of our culture, it's considered a STEM degree.
"Ultimately, I just really wanted to experience the working world and the working culture here, so I guess you could say I came [to America] for opportunity. And it's really intense; the working culture here is insane, people are constantly, constantly working."
"But I do feel like it's growing me as a person. I've changed a lot and I'm here to stay (for now)."
Courtesy of Damilare 'Dami' Kujembola
"I'm originally from Lagos, Nigeria, where I was a practicing entertainment lawyer. Entertainment law wasn't as popular to specialize in because it wasn't as lucrative as oil and gas or corporate law. However, I was attracted to the idea of being one of the pioneers within this space, so I decided to pursue a master's degree in Los Angeles, the world's capital of entertainment. So in 2014, I received a scholarship to pursue a master's degree at USC.
"The plan was to acquire my master's degree within a year, gain some practical experience, make connections in the U.S., then move back to Nigeria to help develop the entertainment industry by effecting advancement of the law. But God had other plans."
"Moving to Los Angeles was very tough for my family, as I am the first-born and we have a strong bond. I remember seeing my mother shed a tear for the first time in my life, and my dad's parting words were for me to 'remember the son of who I am.' Those words have stuck by me to this day. After a while, I realized the master's degree program left me feeling unequipped to make an impact in the entertainment industry back in Nigeria. Also, during this time, I noticed the African community had a small presence in Los Angeles.
"It was difficult for me to find African food, get a proper haircut or even find mentors who had gone through a similar experience. This wasn't because they didn't exist. It was just hard to find if you did not know anyone. Also, a lot of people had very little knowledge about the continent and there was a lack of representation for the culture. This was my opportunity to make a difference."
"After graduation, I was offered a job by one of my professors, who was the GC of a top digital media startup. During this time, I learned about so many opportunities that could be available for African entertainment, so I decided to transition from practicing law to representing the continent and the diaspora. My business partner, Timi Adeyeba, and I formed Amplify Africa to create community for Africans in the Diaspora, to educate more people about the cultures, reality and opportunities on the continent, to create representation for African interests in the diaspora and to help regain the diaspora's trust in the continent.
"As our team expanded, we realized the yearning for the continent isn't exclusive to African immigrants, as there are other people whose ancestors were forced off of the continent into slavery and who have, over time, created their own culture."
"As a result, we have expanded our vision to bridging the gap between the continent and the Black global experience of the African-American, Afro-Carribean, Afro-Latinx, and Afro-European communities. We, now, boast about being one of the biggest media companies for the African diaspora. We've produced over 100 events in 13 cities around the U.S. pre-COVID, including the Afro Ball, a Gala in partnership with U.S. Congress, who provides Certificates of Recognition for Africans and people of African descent excelling in their respective fields.
"Although I haven't seen my family in person since 2014, outside of video calls, this is the year that I can finally reconnect with them. So, I guess you could say my purpose in moving to America, was to find my purpose. And the sacrifice was well worth it."
"I moved here about four years ago in 2016 when I was 19 years old, but that wasn't even the initial plan. When I finished high school, the plan was for me to go to the University of Zimbabwe to study law, because that is something that I always wanted to do. I was passionate about it, I was on the debate team, and I was good at it, so that was all I knew.
"I went to the city in Harare—that's the capital city and where the university is—and we filled out the application and we completed all the requirements and even got my ID."
"It just so happened that that after testing exceptionally well on my high school exams, my sister (who was in the States already) called my mother and told her, 'Why don't we try to bring Penny to the U.S. to come to school? She's a smart girl and she'll go places over here.' I never took her seriously and kind of brushed it off, but she was so persistent. So, I looked up colleges where she stayed in Virginia. But it was so expensive to go to a four-year college.
"I found a community college near where she lived and submitted my application as an effort to at least try. I knew in my heart I didn't want to be in Zimbabwe [and] I didn't want to go to school in Zimbabwe. So I applied and got in. Before I left, I didn't tell anyone, I just disappeared. I didn't want to jinx anything or I didn't want to make a big deal and things suddenly didn't work out.
"The best feeling was when I arrived in America and our plane was landing and I said to myself, 'I'm here.' And it's funny because the first thing I noticed was that the air smelled different. It was one of the best moments of my life."
Things have been going pretty great for me. I love it here.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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If you’ve been anywhere on the internet as of late, you may have noticed the rift between men and women in modern culture. From online debates about splitting bills to the decline in the art of game — most recently coined as “rizz” — you might find it hard to recall a time when having boy problems was (dare I say…) fun.
Blame it on our raging hormones or the blissful cluelessness of what the patriarchy was, but having a crush that was worthy of your daydreams and exercising your romantic delusions was once a joy of girlhood. Fantasizing about the next time you’d run into “you know who” or gushing over his encrypted Instagram messages had a way of keeping the butterflies fluttering for the dream boy you created in your head.
Only now, finding a crush, let alone keeping one, seems like more of a chore than a willful decision. Still, for some women, the intense and sometimes obsessive interest in men has never wavered — making them perpetually boy-crazy.
The term "boy crazy" is a term used to describe a woman with a strong infatuation or fascination for men, particularly in a romantic or sexual context.
In most cases, this could be the homegirl who has a way of bringing your everyday conversations back to the topic of boys. It’s what she thinks about, talks about, dresses for, and pursues when going out. In other words, her world unapologetically revolves around men and her proximity to them.
People who are considered "boy crazy" often prioritize their romantic interests above other aspects of their life. This infatuation or “obsession” with men can often lead to a preoccupation with finding a romantic partner, seeking validation and attention from them, and can shift their mood if their efforts don’t match their predetermined expectations. This can have an effect on their emotions, which can run high with hope and optimism or take a drastic turn depending on the male attention or affection they did or didn’t receive.
While this may sound like an emotional rollercoaster for some, other women enjoy the rush. They find a sense of bliss and freedom from their option to choose what men they’d like to keep in their rotation and which ones get put back on the bench.
While some may judge the “boy crazy” gals in their life, one can’t help but be even a little intrigued by the stick-to-it-iveness on their journey for love, companionship, and romance. Their elastic heart and ability to bounce back from “boy hurt” is a place that us guarded girls can only imagine getting to one day.
Which begs the question: is it really so bad to be a little boy-crazy?
Dating coach and matchmaker Shaneeka McCray says to answer this question, you must first ask yourself what this need for male validation is rooted in.
“Figure out yourself first because all the relationships you're attracting are a reflection of you,” she tells xoNecole. “They're a reflection of who you are and what you believe you deserve.”
McCray often tells her clients that the men they meet and engage with are “you pushed out,” meaning what’s inside of you will typically attract what’s outside of you. Whether your boy-craze is coming from a place of insecurity and a need for validation or a place of confidence and self-assurance, getting a handle on your self-concept is the key to understanding the root of your romantic needs and how they show up.
“So if you're not really appreciating the experiences you're having, then one, you might need to fix your self-concept in terms of, ‘how do I think people see me? And how do I see myself?’” she adds. “Have those positive conversations with yourself because people will always show up the way that you think, and we want to think that we're the sh*t first.”
According to McCray, one of the things that our boy-crazy ladies do get right is their approach to dating with a roster. Having a slew of men on-call can actually serve as a tool for self-discovery in understanding your preferences, boundaries, and, ultimately, yourself in romantic relationships. It makes for “good practice.”
“Most of the time, that's where we can learn a lot of tools,” she says, “A lot of times, we think we're going to just instantly meet that [special] person right away. But be more present in the process, ask questions, and fill your time with things and men that actually make you feel good instead of making you feel worse. There will be people that come along to help you get to the best version of yourself.”
Whether you lean more on the side of dating one guy at a time or don’t mind picking up a new potential boo out at the club or grocery store, there’s something we can learn from the boy-crazed and the boy-detached. Ultimately, we’re all trying to get to the same end goal, which is our forever love, just with different methods.
Oh, the joys of being a woman.
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Feature image by Klaus Vedfelt/ Getty Images