

Life can have its amazing moments of joy, advancement, and fun, but there are other not-so-fun challenges that we have to face in order to advance and grow. Ending something that is not serving you is one of them, especially when it comes to your career. Sometimes, you won't be forced out of a job that you've outgrown or simply don't like. You'll need to walk away.
Quitting a job can be a scary thing to even think about doing, especially when you have bills and other obligations. It can be even more difficult when you're comfortable, making a nice amount of money, and seemingly have a dream life, but you've been called to something else. You just don't feel fulfilled, or there's a push to go in another direction.
Well, allow a few bits of information to encourage you to replace fear with factual empowerment: First off, many Black women in today's work environments consistently face discrimination, micro-aggressions, underemployment, and unequal pay. In fact, 2 in 5 Black women have left jobs due to the aforementioned reasons. (That's 40 percent, y'all.) And they've survived and thrived, going on to other jobs, starting businesses, becoming full-time stay-at-home moms, digital nomads, or pursuing other destinies.
I once quit a job even after finally being promoted. I got tired of watching and reporting on others fulfilling their highest entrepreneurial dreams, and I wanted to try self-employment for myself. I felt God pushing me to take charge of my own advancement.
There were several confirmations of this in the form of getting more invites to speak, to host events, and to consult entrepreneurs outside of the usual work I'd done with that company. It was just time. While I would have loved to have advanced further within that company after the promotion (and it was something I'd been working hard toward for the past 7 years working there), I just knew that I had to go.
A decade later, I'm still self-employed, and while it hasn't always been a glamorous, dreamy journey, leaving that job to transition into this life was the best decision I ever made. As my now 94-year-old Granny always told me, "Life goes on. Your survival doesn't depend on a job. Use your brain. Make yourself happy. Go live life."
If you're struggling with taking the step to quit your job and move on to the next phase of your life, here are 10 affirmations to give you the boost you need:
1. "I have the tools, knowledge, and faith to land on my feet."
Your training, education, and experience are invaluable and can be used for many different things. Tap into the power of that and think about your options based on those factors.
2. "I am unique, talented, and experienced, and my skills are needed."
Skills are valuable to companies, especially when they're specialized. Remember what you bring to the table.
3. "I am confident that this is indeed the right time."
God often confirms things for us after telling us. You might be watching a TikTok video and feel a bit of discomfort observing someone you follow taking a risk in their career. You might be inspired by a movie you're watching, and you can't sleep after. You might have responded extremely negatively to a typical email your boss sent you that almost took you over the edge. You might meet a new bae who keeps encouraging you to start that business. The timing is always divine.
4. "I have been given all that I need to succeed."
This is often said, and I've known it to be true: You have everything around you to succeed. Even when quitting a job and doing something else seems too "big" of a thing to do, if you really tap in and look around, you'll notice the resources you have that you might have ignored or overlooked before.
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5. "I can be smart with my money and set up an exit plan that will work."
Exit plans are a thing, and they work. The fact that this concept exists and women have found success after resigning from a job tells you there's a tangible thing you can lean on to quit in a way that doesn't leave you high and dry. You can literally map out the steps you'll take to ensure you have a safety net once you quit and follow it in order to confidently walk away.
6. "The future will reward me for the positive steps I take today."
This one is key. What we do today definitely affects our future, and sometimes, the longer we wait to do something, the more unsavory the future consequences. Whenever you take steps to ensure the future, you would be proud; it's always a win.
7. "I am fearfully and wonderfully made, so I will not fail."
This affirmation has a Biblical foundation. Simply the belief that we all were made wondrous beings and, as a human with infinite potential, that you are a creation of supreme reverence and respect, this affirmation is powerful. If you embody this belief, your steps are ordered, bold, and unstoppable, so there's really no space for succumbing to fear.
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8. "I can make bold steps and fulfill my highest potential."
If you struggle with the courage to quit a job, this is the perfect fake-it-'til-you-believe-it affirmation. You'll need to repeat this to yourself and push forward with a sense of near-delusion until this becomes a strengthening mantra. As the popular saying goes, "If you can't beat fear, do it scared."
9. "I am always protected, loved and cherished by the Most High."
Tap radically into faith when fear gets you down. You have to have a sense that you're always taken care of and that your destiny is protected. You're loved divinely by God, so you will always land on your feet one way or another. You are indeed blessed and highly favored.
10. "I can sustain success because I am resilient and savvy."
Think of a time in the past, before you got the job you have now. Didn't you apply and get rejections then? Didn't you have bills to pay then? Didn't you do well in that interview and get the gig, out of hundreds of other applicants? Well, what's different about today? You've gotten through before, and you will again.
You'll be a bigger success. You'll see lucrative change. You'll walk in your purpose. You'll serve. You'll make another company money and negotiate a better salary. You'll create more art and finance the life you want. You'll close more deals. You'll lead more initiatives. Why? Because you're that girl and been that girl. 'Nuff said.
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Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole