Black women are burdened by what I call a triple consciousness. Prose written by W.E.B. Dubois defined double consciousness as the veil under which citizens of color in the U.S. live, due to the contrast of their separate identities. He explained that his identity as an American was separate and individual from his identity as a black man, simply because the two facets of himself had different needs and faced different injustices.
For years, women of color didn't have the option to be feminists because their needs as African American citizens were more prevalent at the time. In 2018, as we stare into the eyes of a black girl revolution, it is clear that things have changed. Though my rights as a black American are constantly trampled on, I, unlike my ancestors, have been given the option to also fight for my rights as a woman. But time and time again, the world reminds me that this fight for the rights of my triple consciousness will not come without some war wounds.
Issa Rae recently shared some new details about the upcoming season of Insecure, and mentioned that the show would tackle a subject that is rarely discussed in mainstream media. Issa told the Hollywood Reporter:
"I don't want to give anything away! But I love black masculinity as it relates to black women. I think that's something interesting that we haven't gotten a chance to explore yet — and specifically toxic male black masculinity as it relates to black women. I'm trying to find a way to explore that and get a rounded storyline that isn't preachy."
She also shared that the characters in the show would reveal show some dynamic growth on their path to true adulthood. Though we all go through periods of 'insecurity', this season will focus on each character discovering accountability for their actions. She continued:
"This season is about adulting in a new way. I think we've watched our characters really fumble and fuck up — and in some ways in your 20s you are allowed that — but this season is about not acting like you're naive anymore or that you don't know better. So it is about, what does it look like to know better and to do better?"
When I first heard the news, I thought like most of you did: That's f*cking lit. Toxic masculinity is a major issue among women of color, which in my hometown has led to the destruction of lives and a number of deaths of young black women. I was relieved to hear that Issa and the other writers of Insecure had read my mind and would spark a conversation that's been needed for a long time.
But wait, let's not forget. It's our place as women of color to be black first, and women second. At least according to the internet. One user wrote in a thread:
"Issa Rae teases Season 3 "Insecure" will be about black masculinity. A topic I bet she thinks she's an expert on. My guess is she'll follow the trend of other prominent black women producers/directors/writers in filmmaking and promote some sort of fuckery about black men."
He goes on to talk cash money sh*t about prominent black women like Shonda Rhimes and included some homophobic and misogynistic commentary which further iterated that the toxic masculinity that women of color experience is extremely real.
Little did he know, he was in for the clapback of a lifetime, because Reagan Gomez and Jay Ellis had the time. The former Parent 'Hood actress mentioned that not only is Insecure's showrunner a black man, but the show also has black men as a part of their team of writers. In a series of tweets, Reagan tweeted:
"I thought ya'll were team Lawrence? Loved that he had options. Ya'll loved that season 1 finale but now that they might discuss toxic masculinity, ya'll think it's about the Black woman agenda?? Which is it?"
"Nothing about the show suggests that the men are horrible. They really aren't. From Lawrence to Daniel to the banger (always with his daughter, teaching her her ABB's). Well, Lawrence's lightskinned honie is kinda horrible but…they're all tryna figure it out. So why…"
"…would toxic masculinity be off limits? Take Lawrence, he immediately went from Issa, to Tasha, to Aparna. Takes all of his baggage with him in each relationship. When he has that threesome with those random white women who I SWORE were gonna rob him & was OPENLY…"
"…fetishized, he felt like shit but had to lie to his homie (the light skinned one😂) about how dope it was…while sitting outside of Issa's house. We can see him fuckin & cussin Issa out but can't go into toxic masculinity? Please."
"Larry Wilmore is one of the friggin producers. All of this info is out there but sure. Black women/FeminisT agenda. K."
Jay Ellis followed suit, tweeting:
"As a black man who was a part of the first two seasons of @IssaRae and the very diverse writing staff of "Insecure's" work, I'd have to say STFU! …btw pick your pants up, your toxicity is showing."
And, it's hella unimpressive.
Featured image by Giphy
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Eldest Daughter Syndrome had its viral moment online last year, and for good reason. The term gave language to the silent pressures so many eldest daughters tend to carry as a result of their birth order. Beyond that very needed conversation, birth order as a whole can offer insight into not only our traits and tendencies, but also how we show up in life, love, and even our work.
Below, we’re breaking down the traits most commonly associated with each birth order. Keep reading to learn what your birth order might say about you.
If you are the oldest...
Let's be real, being the firstborn often comes with a lot of responsibility. And it's usually not by choice. From early on, they’re the ones who set the tone, carry the weight, and take on the title of "the responsible one." Because of that, they often grow into reliable, high-achieving adults. But the pressure of being "the blueprint" and the one to "lead by example" can also be a heavy burden to bear.
Oldest child traits may look like:
- Natural leaders that take charge even when they didn’t mean to (read: she's bossy, but keeping it cute)
- High standards (for yourself and everyone else)
- Motivated, goal-oriented, and always chasing that next accomplishment
- Reliable and conscientious
- Perfectionist tendencies that can lead to burnout
- Struggles with being controlling or micromanaging
- Often cautious, craving stability over spontaneity
- Finds it hard to rest or ask for help
If you are the middle child...
Season 2 Netflix GIF by Gilmore Girls GiphyIn the grand scheme of the birth order lineup, the middle child can be the quiet MVPs. As the child who falls in the order "in-between," they’re used to being the one who keeps the peace while also fighting to stand out. But being the “in-between” can also mean feeling overlooked or forgotten. In some families, especially ones with toxic dynamics, the middle child may even take on the role of the "black sheep," while their siblings are seen as the golden children. Still, despite (or maybe because of) that, middle children tend to thrive socially and can read a room like the back of their hand.
Middle child traits may include:
- Top-tier peacemakers who can smooth over almost any situation
- Adaptable and easygoing (even when they’re lowkey screaming inside)
- Often feel overlooked or like they have to do the most to be seen
- People-pleasers who put everyone else first
- Social butterflies and community-minded, with strong friendships outside the family
- Can be rebellious when they feel boxed in
- Thrive when they’re allowed to define success on their own terms
- The ultimate go-between, translating vibes between generations, personalities, and moods
If you are the youngest...
Season 1 Ff GIF by FreeformGiphyThe baby of the family walks through life knowing how to charm, persuade, and perform. They often grow up with more freedom and fewer expectations, which fuels their adventurous and carefree side. But that same freedom can sometimes lead to entitlement, or a tendency to seek validation by being the "fun one."
Youngest child traits might include:
- Social butterflies who light up a room and don’t mind the spotlight
- Natural charmers, funny, flirtatious, and usually down for anything
- Can be a little self-centered or attention-seeking (but you still love them for it)
- Tend to keep things uncomplicated… unless they’re not getting their way
- Known to be manipulative when trying to get what they want
- Free-spirited and bold in their choices
- Often underestimated, but capable of big things when they focus
- Thrive in spaces that let them express, explore, and be a little extra
If you are the only child...
High School Drama GIF by HBO MaxGiphyOnly children can be the ultimate "one woman show" as they are often a mix of all the birth orders rolled into one. Without siblings, they learn to entertain themselves, advocate for their needs, and navigate adult conversations early. That independence can make them magnetic, mature, and deeply introspective, but it also comes with a deep craving for validation and control.
Only child traits can include:
- Mature and wise beyond their years, often viewed as old souls
- Conscientious and responsible, usually the go-to person in their circle
- Seek approval and validation more than they let on
- Natural leaders with big ideas and even bigger plans
- Can be sensitive and deeply affected by criticism
- Prefer structure, routines, and control (sometimes to a fault)
- Like things done their way (and don’t love compromising)
- Thrive in solitude but still want to feel seen and celebrated
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