Ever since my late fiancé pulled out a pair of clippers during my second year at college, my hair has pretty much been some variation of short. If it wasn't a fade, it was a TWA with a mild texturizer in it, if it wasn't that, it was some sort of mini Frohawk. But around 18 months ago, I took my clippers and shaved my head bald in the hopes of starting anew and actually getting a little length. Let me just say from personal experience that if you ever want to learn a few lessons in patience, commitment, and consistency, don't only attempt to grow your hair out, attempt doing it in its natural state. WHEW-HEE.
As I've been in the process of figuring out what works for me (Jamaican Mango & Lime Rosemary Castor Oil) and what doesn't (wetting it all of the time), there are some essential oils that are truly my tresses best friends.
So if, like me, you're trying to make this natural thing happen in a really BIG way, I'm here to tell you that if you stock up on the following oils (and mix them in with a carrier oil like sweet almond, coconut, olive, grapeseed or avocado)—you will notice a healthier scalp, stronger hair and (what I'm personally after right now) a good amount of length retention too. Ready?
7 Essential Oils Your Natural Hair Needs
1.Lavender
In my humble opinion, every woman should have at least one bottle of lavender oil in her possession. Health-wise, it calms your nervous system, relieves headaches, heals acne, induces sleep, and, if you apply it to your abdomen during your cycle, it can make your cramps more tolerable too.
As far as your hair goes, it's the kind of oil that stimulates hair growth. Also, because of its powerful antimicrobial properties, lavender oil also reduces scalp inflammation while treating dandruff (and lice) too.
Hair Regrowth Tip: Mix ½ teaspoon of lavender oil with ½ teaspoon of rosemary and five drops of grapeseed oil. Let the oil combination heat in the microwave for five seconds and then massage your scalp with the solution every other night. It's a great way to pamper your scalp, stimulate your hair follicles, and also heal your scalp if you happen to have alopecia.
2.Rosemary
A lot of people sleep on rosemary oil, but they shouldn't. It does everything from improving brain function and alleviating stress to reducing joint inflammation and increasing blood circulation. It's actually the oil's ability to help in the blood circulation department that makes it an awesome hair growth potion.
The more blood that flows to your scalp, the more nutrients your hair follicles are able to receive and the faster your hair will grow over time. Also, if you happen to struggle with patches of hair loss, rubbing some rosemary over those areas can heal them within a matter of 4-6 months.
Hair Mask Tip: Crack one egg. Then add to it one teaspoon of raw honey, one teaspoon of olive oil, and five drops of rosemary oil. Use a small whisk to blend everything together and then apply it to your freshly-washed hair. Let it sit on your hair and scalp for about 30 minutes, then rinse with lukewarm water first, cool water second (to seal your cuticles). Your hair will instantly feel much softer.
3.Peppermint
Neither one of us has the time to get into all of what peppermint oil can do. But just to give you a brief rundown—peppermint oil relieves muscle pain, treats seasonal allergies (because it acts as an expectorant), increases workout performance, protects skin from sun damage, alleviates headaches, freshens bad breath, and effectively treats irritable bowel syndrome too.
Your hair and scalp will love this oil because (thanks to the menthol that's in it) it fights the yeast the causes dandruff, nourishes damaged tresses, and it even makes hair thicker.
Hair Conditioner Tip: Add 4-5 drops of the oil into your conditioner. Let the conditioner sit on your hair and scalp for 20 minutes before rinsing and styling as usual. You should notice less dandruff and thicker hair within a couple of months (tops).
4.Thyme
This is another kind of oil that's well worth the investment. Thyme essential oil is a cicatrizant which is a fancy word that means it promotes the healing of scars. Thanks to the antibacterial and antifungal properties that are in thyme, it also can boost your immune system. Plus, the carminative properties in this oil reduce gas while its expectorant and antispasmodic properties can help to speed up the symptoms that are associated with a cold or the flu.
It's a great oil for natural hair because it's another one that promotes hair growth. There are even studies to support that if it's combined with grapeseed oil, it can reduce the symptoms associated with alopecia areata after about seven months.
Hair Growth Tip: If you mix 10 drops of thyme essential oil, one tablespoon of raw honey, and ½ cup of raw apple cider vinegar together in a plastic spray bottle and spray it on your hair and scalp daily, not only will it stimulate hair growth, it will soothe your itchy scalp and clear up dandruff as well.
5.Ylang Ylang
It might not be the most common essential oil on the market, but don't let that stop you from picking up some. Ylang Ylang (pronounced EE-lang EE-lang) contains properties that make it an antiseptic, aphrodisiac, and sedative all in one! If you're feeling a little depressed, you've got high blood pressure or you're looking for the kind of oil that will give your libido a bit of a boost, Ylang Ylang's got your back. Word on the street is that it's even used to treat arthritis and pelvic inflammatory disease.
How can it help your natural hair? For one thing, with regular use, it can help to reduce hair fall. It's also a great way to treat thinning tresses. Also, if you suffer from chronic scalp dryness, Ylang Ylang can moisturize your scalp without clogging up your follicles in the process.
Hair Spritz Tip: Add five drops of Ylang Ylang and ½ teaspoon of vegetable glycerin to a bottle that is filled with distilled water. Spray your hair throughout the day. It serves as a wonderful humectant spritz.
6.Ginger
Ginger oil has the reputation for being the "gut-friendly oil"; that's because it's able to soothe motion sickness, nausea, diarrhea, stomach aches, and vomiting. It's also the kind of oil that kills bacteria, reduces inflammation, and strengthens the heart. Thanks to all of the antioxidants that are in ginger oil, it can fight free radicals in the body. And, it's another oil that increases sexual desire (it even helps to treat erectile dysfunction).
The antioxidants and nutrients in this spicy oil make it another one that increases blood circulation to the scalp. And, if your hair is dry and brittle, it can make it much softer after just one application.
Scalp Massage Tip: Add six drops of ginger essential oil to three tablespoons of organic coconut oil. Pop the combination into the microwave for five seconds and massage your scalp before going to bed. It will help to heal your scalp and restore hair loss too.
7.Clary Sage
Clary Sage is a flowering herb that has a great reputation for reducing stress and also treating menstrual and menopause symptoms. If you rub the oil directly onto your lower abdomen, it will decrease the intensity of your cramps. As far as menopause goes, the sclareol that's in it mimics the estrogen. This results in fewer mood swings and hot flashes.
If you're looking for the kind of essential oil that not only stimulates hair growth but also balances out the oils on your scalp, fights dandruff, and helps to keep your hair shiny, clary sage will do it for you. It's also known for helping to balance out the hormones that could lead to excessive hair shedding.
Hair Thickening Tip: Mix 25 drops of rosemary, clary sage, and cedarwood (it's another oil that promotes hair growth) to three ounces of grapeseed oil. Put it in a glass bottle, shake it well, and massage it onto clean damp hair. Let the mixture sit for 25 minutes, then rinse and style as usual. It will condition your hair giving it more natural elasticity too. All that you need for long, healthy NATURAL hair!
Featured image by Getty Images.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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If, while on your continual journey to get the best out of your own tresses, you’d like to learn how to get them healthier than it’s ever been, I’ve got seven acids that are typically known for skin use that can be just as beneficial to your hair as well.
1. Salicylic Acid
When it comes to your skin, salicylic acid is beta-hydroxy acid that is great for your skin if you’re looking for something that will exfoliate it, clear out your pores and dissolve dead skin cells. In fact, this is why it’s an acid that is quite popular when it comes to treating acne.
Your hair will enjoy salicylic acid because, if you’re looking to remove product build-up, you want to soothe an itchy or irritated scalp or you’ve got some dandruff flakes that are totally driving you up the wall, salicylic acid has the ability to treat all of this. Either purchasing a shampoo that contains this ingredient or adding it to your favorite scalp scrub is probably the most effective way to get the most out of it.
Just make sure that if your scalp is sensitive or dry that you approach with caution. In these instances, it could end up irritating your scalp more than helping it out, so use a very little bit in the beginning to make sure that it vibes with you.
2. Lactic Acid
Lactic acid is an alpha hydroxy acid that can help to even out your skin tone as well as slow down the signs of aging. The properties in it help to do this by reducing hyperpigmentation and boosting collagen production in your skin as well as keeping it hydrated.
Why is it great for your locks? For one thing, lactic acid is considered to be a humectant. This means that it pulls water from the air so that your hair is able to remain moisturized.
Another thing that makes it a winner is the fact that lactic acid breaks down dead skin cells on your scalp (so that your hair follicles are able to flourish), it can help to soften and detangle your hair (making it a helpful addition on your wash days) and it also helps to protect your tresses from heat styling tools and UV damage. Applying a hair rinse that’s made up of part lactic acid and part water can work wonderfully (so long as you apply it once a month, tops; more than that might be too “intense” for your hair strands).
3. Glycolic Acid
Glycolic acid is a water-soluble alpha hydroxy acid that is actually made from sugar. Your skin will adore it because it smooths the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, improves the texture of your skin, gently exfoliates, clears your pores and brightens up your complexion overall.
The reasons why you should consider this acid for your hair is because it helps to keep your scalp youthful (and yes, there is such a thing; check out “Your Scalp Ages Six Times Faster Than Your Face. Why It Matters.”), removes excess sebum (that could be clogging up your hair follicles) and it helps to keep your hair moisturized. Your best bet here is to make it a part of your pre-shampooing ritual.
4. Succinic Acid
Succinic acid is an acid that is made from sugar cane and contains antimicrobial and anti-inflammatory properties. Although it doesn’t exactly exfoliate (like many of these other acids do), it can still be beneficial to your skin when it comes to reducing the kind of irritation that is associated with eczema, decreasing the bacteria that leads to breakouts and keeping your skin pretty hydrated.
As far as your hair goes, this is an acid that is worth trying out because it helps to balance the sebum that is on your scalp, remove dead skin and product build-up that can irritate your scalp and clog your hair follicles and, succinic acid is also beneficial when it comes to reducing dandruff and helping to prevent hair loss. Most people tend to apply this as a serum.
5. Hyaluronic Acid
I’ve officially sung the praises of hyaluronic acid on this platform before. One example is via the article, “Why Your Skin, Hair, And Nails Need Hyaluronic Acid Like...Yesterday.” On the skin tip, hyaluronic acid is great because it deeply hydrates your skin, contains anti-aging properties and can even bring relief to vaginal (including vulvar) dryness.
Your hair will adore this particular acid because it aids moisture to it (including your hair follicles), will help to improve your hair’s texture and it also soothes scalp dryness, nurtures the cuticles of your tresses and decreases frizz. Using a serum rich in this acid as a pre-poo or as a leave-in conditioner is recommended.
6. Azelaic Acid
If you’ve never heard of azelaic acid before, this is your lucky day. It’s a dicarboxylic acid that, when it comes to skincare (and hair care) products, is usually synthetic. Anyway, if you are looking for a way to reduce inflammation, even skin tone after a breakout or if you want to use an exfoliant that will improve the texture of your skin overtime, you might want to give this acid a shot.
This one makes the list as far as your hair is concerned because, if achieving more inches is your current focus, azelaic acid might come in handy. That’s because it is able to strengthen your hair, thicken your strands and also stimulate hair growth from within your hair follicles.
7. Glutamic Acid
Glutamic acid is actually a type of amino acid. Skin-wise, it’s great for deeply hydrating your skin as well as protecting it from pollutants and damaging UV rays. Also, if you’re looking for an acid that treats skin dryness or “tightness,” this could be the answer to your prayers.
Since glutamic acid is also considered to be a humectant, it’s another acid that can moisturize your hair. As a result, it can decrease breakage while helping your hair to feel smooth and look shiny.
BONUS: Amino Acids
Speaking of amino acids and hair, please try to keep some amino acids in your diet at all times. The reason why is because, since your hair is made up of mostly protein (keratin, to be exact), amino acids are pretty darn effective when it comes to helping you to maintain the overall health and well-being of your hair.
Ones to prioritize include proline (it boosts collagen so that your hair strands can maintain flexibility); arginine (it increases blood flow to your hair follicles so that they can receive the nutrients that they need); cysteine (it helps to keep your hair follicles healthy); alanine (it helps your system to produce more collagen), and isoleucine (it strengthens the tissues that help to make up your hair strands). All of these are available in supplement form or you can use Google to see which foods contain them.
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Although it might initially seem odd to apply acid to your hair, as you can see, certain ones will work miracles for it. So, test them out to see which one tickles your fancy.
Hell, since they work for your skin as well — it’s a two-for-one deal that is worth every penny!
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