

Meet The Holistic Approach To Periods That Can Transform Your Cycle
With more than 84% of women experiencing painful periods, there’s no wonder why “that time of the month” is filled with negative connotations. As someone who doesn’t fall into the 84% percent noted in that study, I can still attest to factors like age, stress, and lifestyle affecting my menstrual cycle and the way I experience my periods. Gone are the days when my symptoms peaked at salty and sweet cravings, and in its wake, I’ve been introduced to cramping, low estrogen levels, and a heavier flow than I’ve experienced in all my years of having a period. Where I used to look at my periods as a time of the month when was indifferent, I am now feeling the effects and I can only imagine how the other 84% of women reporting period pain go through (more power to y’all, for real).
Two things changed the menstruating game for me. One, the conscious decision to look at my cycle for the full 28 days that it is (anywhere between 21-40 days is considered "normal.") instead of just the 5-7 days I am actually in the menstruation phase of my cycle. And two, looking into cycle syncing as a holistic way to change my relationship with my period and my cycle overall. You see, instead of acting in opposition to what I experienced during my periods, I could lean into it and restructure my life in a way that aligned with the different phases of my cycle, and therefore the different “seasons” I was in. When it comes to all that cycle syncing entails, ladies and gentlemen, this is just scratching the surface.
Berrion L. Berry, founder of Optimize Your Flo and menstrual health educator, explains, at its core that cycle syncing “is aligning different aspects of your lifestyle such as fitness, nutrition, wellness, and even business with the phases of your menstrual cycle.” And although the results could vary from person to person, it is still something she recommends to women and menstruators to see if it positively affects the way they experience their cycles. She adds that not only can cycle syncing transform your periods, but it can also evolve the way people with periods work.
“As more and more research is being conducted we’re finding things that are so unique. Did you know that there are times throughout the cycle perfect for brainstorming new ideas like during the menstrual phase?” Berry continues, “When practicing cycle syncing and understanding changes that happen, people can actually work more effectively and I think that’s incredible. Especially if you’re someone who’s looking to go from feeling burnout to embracing the soft life.”
Keep reading for the phases of the menstrual cycle and how to optimize each phase for ultimate alignment as well as potentially less painful periods.
The Phases of the Menstrual Cycle
Phase 1: Menstruation (Winter)
Phase 2: Follicular (Spring)
Phase 3: Ovulation (Summer)
Phase 4: Luteal (Fall)
Cycle Syncing During the Menstruation Phase (Days 1-7)
Menstruation is the “shedding of the uterine lining and when your period happens.” Berry notes that since the hormones are in an 'off' position during this time, your overall energy can feel low. Nourish the body with unprocessed, nutrient-rich foods and filtered water to keep your blood sugar and energy levels steady.
The Optimal Way to Nourish the Body:
"A good mix of lean proteins, healthy fats, and low GI carbs such as root vegetables, whole grain, and legume-packed stews, can support the energy-intensive process of menstruation."
The Optimal Way to Move the Body:
"Since your body is physically releasing, the best thing you can do is rest or active recovery. The reason you want to do this is so that you don’t apply additional stress (increased cortisol) to the body and create an inflamed, exhausted, or overwhelmed environment within the body.
"Light jogs, long hikes, a nice yoga flow for most people. If you’re someone who likes to train a lot, one of the best things you can do during this time is a low-intensity workout like Pilates as well, preferably mat Pilates.
Cycle Syncing During the Follicular Phase (Days 8-13)
The follicular phase is “the time between the end of the period and ovulation” and can be viewed as the “spring” season of your cycle. To prepare for ovulation, the body's hormone levels are on the rise as your egg follicles mature, Berry explains. In contrast to the low energy levels you might have felt during the menstruation phase, during the follicular phase, you may start to feel more energized.
The Optimal Way to Nourish the Body:
"Supporting your gut aids the body in processing estrogen and potential toxins that may be in your body. The more micronutrients you focus on getting during this time, the better. This is a good time to incorporate light, fresh and vibrant foods, such as salads and fermented foods like kefir, probiotic yogurt, or sauerkraut, which support gut health and detoxification."
The Optimal Way to Move the Body:
"During this time, since your hormones are beginning to rise, it’s the perfect time to pick back up on your workouts and training. Exercises like reformer Pilates, boxing, spin class anything a bit intense and vigorous is perfect for this. You may also want to consider adding a bit of resistance training in."
Cycle Syncing During the Ovulation Phase (Days 14-21)
Berry refers to the ovulation phase as “the main event” of your menstrual cycle as it is when the egg is released from the ovary. "During ovulation, hormone levels are skyrocketing and estrogen is the life of the party. It aids in the ovulation process along with a surge in LH. Our basal body temperature also increases during this time, which can impact increased energy levels."
She also adds that “ovulation is not always day 14 of a cycle no matter what you’ve been taught in the past. Ovulation can actually change based off so many things, so just make sure you know your body.”
The Optimal Way to Nourish the Body:
"Consuming foods that are nutrient-dense, but also refreshing like a smoothie bowl or salad is definitely a must. See, excess estrogen can have a negative impact on our cycle, including breast tenderness and increased spotting, however, consuming nutrients that support the liver to remove estrogen is good to include and are found in foods such as kale, broccoli, onions, garlic, and radishes."
The Optimal Way to Move the Body:
"During this time, since your hormones estrogen, LH, and testosterone have surged, it’s the perfect time to do those higher intensity workouts and anything that will have you actively sweating and increasing your heart rate. Exercises like spinning, sprinting, and heavy lifting are perfect during this phase."
Cycle Syncing During the Luteal Phase (Days 22-28)
The last phase of your menstrual cycle is “the time between ovulation and before the start of menstruation when the body prepares for a possible pregnancy if the egg is fertilized.” Berry continues, "During this phase, there's a shift in hormones, and around day 23 of your cycle, your body begins to prepare for the shed of the uterine lining. You may notice your cravings are a bit more intense, and you just want to eat everything in sight."
The Optimal Way to Nourish the Body:
"With estrogen on the decline and progesterone on the rise, you'll want to make sure that you focus on nourishing your body with additional nutrients like iron, magnesium, and zinc as well as complex carbs."
The Optimal Way to Move the Body:
"Since your body is preparing to physically release, the best thing you can do is low-intensity workouts and active recovery. The reason you want to do this is so that you don’t apply additional stress (increased cortisol) to the body and create an inflamed, exhausted, or overwhelmed environment within the body. I suggest light jogs, long hikes, or a nice yoga flow for most people."
How to Start Cycle Syncing
If you want to start cycle syncing and optimizing your period health, Berry has the perfect method to start. In her teachings, Berry recommends beginning your cycle syncing journey through a process of habit stacking where you optimize cycle syncing by building on basic healthy habits you've already mastered. Berry sums this process up with the statement, "Standardize before you optimize." Her step-by-step process to standardize healthy habits is as follows:
The O.N.E method:
- O is for "organize your meals in sync with your cycle;"
- N is for "nurture your adrenals" which Berry says means working out in sync with your cycle, making time to meditate, journal, or pray at least once a day, and getting on a regular sleep schedule;
- E is for "execute daily" which Berry created a checklist to help people with this step (download the checklist here).
After utilizing her method to standardize your healthy habits, Berry advises looking at where you are in your cycle to optimize your lifestyle habits according to the recommended lifestyle habits according to the phase you are in. For more specifics, check out her guide on fertility awareness here. "Once you know where you’re at in your cycle, I like to recommend people start with nutrition, then add fitness and wellness, but ultimately people can start with wherever they want," Berry shares.
If you are starting your cycle syncing practice and don't wish to go the DIY route, Berry has a wealth of resources, including classes that she advises period havers to take if they are looking for a step-by-step plan with all of the details. Learn more about her classes here.
For more information about cycle syncing and daily tips, follow Berry on Instagram or TikTok @berrionlberry.
Featured image by Kevin Kozicki/Getty Images
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Amber Riley has the type of laugh that sticks with you long after the raspy, rhythmic sounds have ceased. It punctuates her sentences sometimes, whether she’s giving a chuckle to denote the serious nature of something she just said or throwing her head back in rip-roarious laughter after a joke. She laughs as if she understands the fragility of each minute. She chooses laughter often with the understanding that future joy is not guaranteed.
Credit: Ally Green
The sound of her laughter is rivaled only by her singing voice, an emblem of the past and the future resilience of Black women stretched over a few octaves. On Fox’s Glee, her character Mercedes Jones was portrayed, perhaps unfairly, as the vocal duel to Rachel Berry (Lea Michele), offering rough, full-throated belts behind her co-star’s smooth, pristine vocals. Riley’s always been more than the singer who could deliver a finishing note, though.
Portraying Effie White, she displayed the dynamic emotions of a song such as “And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going” in Dreamgirls on London’s West End without buckling under the historic weight of her predecessors. With her instrument, John Mayer’s “Gravity” became a religious experience, a belted hymnal full of growls and churchy riffs. In her voice, Nicole Scherzinger once said she heard “the power of God.”
Credit: Ally Green
Riley’s voice has been a staple throughout pop culture for nearly 15 years now. Her tone has become so distinguishable that most viewers of Fox’s The Masked Singer recognized the multihyphenate even before it was revealed that she was Harp, the competition-winning, gold-masked figure with an actual harp strapped to her back.
Still, it wasn’t until recently that Riley began to feel like she’d found her voice. This sounds unbelievable. But she’s not referring to the one she uses on stage. She’s referencing the voice that speaks to who she is at her core. “Therapy kind of gave me the training to speak my mind,” the 37-year-old says. “It’s not something we’re taught, especially as Black women. I got so comfortable in [doing so], and I really want other people, especially Black women, to get more comfortable in that space.”
“Therapy kind of gave me the training to speak my mind. It’s not something we’re taught, especially as Black women."
If you ask Riley’s manager, Myisha Brooks, she’ll tell you the foundation of who the multihyphenate is hasn’t changed much since she was a kid growing up in Compton. “She is who she is from when I met her back when she was singing in the front of the church to back when she landed major roles in film and TV,” Brooks says. Time has allowed Riley to grow more comfortable, giving fans a more intimate glimpse into her life, including her mental health journey and the ins and outs of show business.
The actress/singer has been in therapy since 2019, although she suffered from depression and anxiety way before that. In a recent interview with Jason Lee, she recalls having suicidal ideation as a kid. By the time she started seeing a psychologist and taking antidepressants in her thirties, her body had become jittery, a physical reminder of the trauma stacked high inside her. “I was shaking in [my therapist’s] office,” she tells xoNecole. “My fight or flight was on such a high level. I was constantly in survival mode. My heart was beating fast all the time. All I did was sweat.”
There wasn’t just childhood trauma to account for. After auditioning for American Idol and being turned away by producers, Riley began working for Ikea and nearly missed her Glee audition because her car broke down on the highway while en route. Thankfully, Riley had been cast to play Mercedes Jones. American Idol had temporarily convinced her she wasn’t cut out for the entertainment industry, but this was validation that she was right where she belonged. Glee launched in 2009 with the promise of becoming Riley’s big break.
In some ways, it was. The show introduced Riley to millions of fans and catapulted her into major Hollywood circles. But in other ways, it became a reminder of the types of roles Black women, especially those who are plus-sized, are relegated to. Behind the scenes, Riley says she fought for her character "to have a voice" but eventually realized her efforts were useless. "It finally got to a point where I was like, this is not my moment. I'm not who they're choosing, and this is just going to have to be a job for me for now," she says. "And, that's okay because it pays my bills, I still get to be on television, I'm doing more than any other Black plus-sized women that I'm seeing right now on screen."
The actress can recognize now that she was navigating issues associated with trauma and low self-esteem at the time. She now knows that she's long had anxiety and depression and can recognize the ways in which she was triggered by how the cult-like following of the show conflicted with her individual, isolated experiences behind the scenes. But she was in her early '20s back then. She didn't yet have the language or the tools to process how she was feeling.
Riley says she eventually sought out medical intervention. "When you're in Hollywood, and you go to a doctor, they give you pills," she says, sharing a part of her story that she'd never revealed publicly before now. "[I was] on medication and developing a habit of medicating to numb, not understanding I was developing an addiction to something that's not fixing my problem. If anything, it's making it worse."
“[I was] on medication and developing a habit of medicating to numb, not understanding I was developing an addiction to something that’s not fixing my problem. If anything it’s making it worse.”
Credit: Ally Green
At one point, while in her dressing room on set, she rested her arm on a curling iron without realizing it. It wasn't until her makeup artist alerted her that she even realized her skin was burning. Once she noticed, she says she was "so zonked out on pills" that she barely reacted. Speaking today, she holds up her arm and motions towards a scar that remains from the incident. She sought help for her reliance on the pills, but it would still be years before she finally attended therapy.
This stress was only compounded by the trauma of growing up in poverty and the realities of being a "contract worker." "Imagine going from literally one week having to borrow a car to get to set to the next week being on a private jet to New York City," she says. After Glee ended, so did the rides on private planes. The fury of opportunities she expected to follow her appearance on the show failed to materialize. She wasn't even 30 yet, and she was already forced to consider if she'd hit her career peak.
. . .
We’re only four minutes into our Zoom call before Riley delivers her new adage to me. “My new mantra is ‘humility does not serve me.’ Humility does not serve Black women. The world works so hard to humble us anyway,” she says.
On this Thursday afternoon in April, the LA-based entertainer is seated inside her closet/dressing room wearing a cerulean blue tank top with matching shorts and eating hot wings. This current phase of healing hinges on balance. It’s about having discipline and consistency, but not at the risk of inflexibility. She was planning to head to the gym, for instance, but she’s still tired from the “exhausting” day before. Instead, she’s spent her day receiving a massage, eating some chicken wings, and planning to spend quality time with friends. “I’m not going to beat myself up for it. I’m not going to talk down to myself. I’m going to eat my chicken wings, and then tomorrow I’m [back] in the gym,” she says.
“My new mantra is ‘humility does not serve me.’ Humility does not serve Black women. The world works so hard to humble us anyway."
This is the balance with which she's been approaching much of her life these days. It's why she's worried less about whether or not people see her as someone who is humble. She'd rather be respected. "I think you should be a person that's easy to work with, but in the moments where I have to ruffle feathers and make waves, I'm not shying away from that anymore. You can do it in love, you don't have to be nasty about it, but I had to finally be comfortable with the fact that setting boundaries around my life – in whatever aspect, whether that's personal or business – people are not going to like it. Some people are not going to have nice things to say about you, and you gotta be okay with it," she says.
When Amber talks about the constant humbling of Black women in Hollywood, I think of the entertainers before her who have suffered from this. The brilliant, consistent, overqualified Black women who have spoken of having to fight for opportunities and fair pay. Aretha Franklin. Viola Davis. Tracee Ellis Ross. There's a long list of stars whose success hasn't mirrored their experiences behind the scenes.
Credit: Ally Green
If Black women outside of Hollywood are struggling to decrease the pay gap, so, too, are their wealthier, more famous peers.
Riley says there’s been progress in recent years, but only in small ways and for a limited group of people. “This business is exhausting. The goalpost is constantly moving, and sometimes it’s unfair,” she says. But, I have to say it’s the love that keeps you going.”
“There’s no way you can continue to be in this business and not love it, especially being a plus-sized Black woman,” she continues. “We’re still niche. We’re still not main characters.”
"There’s no way you can continue to be in this business and not love it, especially being a plus-sized Black woman. We’re still niche. We’re still not main characters.”
Last year, Riley starred alongside Raven Goodwin in the Lifetime thriller Single Black Female (a modern, diversified take on 1992’s Single White Female). It was more than a leading role for the actress, it also served as proof that someone who looks like her can front a successful project without it hinging on her identity. It showcased that the characters she portrays don’t “have to be about being a big girl. It can just be a regular story.”
Riley sees her work in music as an extension of her efforts to push past the rigid stereotypes in entertainment. Take her appearance on The Masked Singer, for instance. Riley said she decided to perform Mayer’s “Gravity” after being told she couldn’t sing it years earlier. “I wanted to do ‘Gravity’ on Glee. [I] was told no, because that’s not a song that Mercedes would do,” she says. “That was a full circle moment for me, doing that on that show and to hear what it is they had to say.”
As Scherzinger praised the “anointed” performance, a masked Riley began to cry, her chest heaving as she stood on stage, her eyes shielded from view. “You have to understand, I have really big names – casting directors, producers, show creators – that constantly tell me ‘I’m such a big fan. Your talent is unmatched.’ Hire me, then,” she says, reflecting on the moment.
Recently, she’s been in the studio working on original music, the follow-up to her independently-released debut EP, 2020’s Riley. The sequel to songs such as the anthemic “Big Girl Energy” and the reflective ballad “A Moment” on Riley, this new project hones in on the singer’s R&B roots with sensual grooves such as the tentatively titled “All Night.” “You said I wasn’t shit, turns out that I’m the shit. Then you called me a bitch, turns out that I’m that bitch. You said no one would want me, well you should call your homies,” she sings on the tentatively titled “Lately,” a cut about reflecting on a past relationship. From the forthcoming project, xoNecole received five potential tracks. Fans likely already know the strengths and contours of Riley’s vocals, but these new songs are her strongest, most confident offerings as an artist.
“I am so much more comfortable as a writer, and I know who I am as an artist now. I’m evolving as a human being, in general, so I’m way more vulnerable in my music. I’m way more willing to talk about whatever is on my mind. I don’t stop myself from saying what it is I want to say,” she says.
Credit: Ally Green
“Every era and alliteration of Amber, the baseline is ‘Big Girl Energy.’ That’s the name of her company,” her manager Brooks says, referencing the imprint through which Riley releases her music after getting out of a label deal several years ago. “It’s just what she stands for. She’s not just talking about size, it’s in all things. Whether it’s putting your big girl pants on and having to face a boardroom full of executives or sell yourself in front of a casting agent. It’s her trying to achieve the things she wants to do in life.”
Riley says she has big dreams beyond releasing this new music, too. She’d love to star in a rom-com with Winston Duke. She hasn't starred in a biopic yet, but she’d revel in the opportunity to portray Rosetta Tharpe on screen. She’s determined that her previous setbacks won’t stop her from dreaming big.
“I think one of my superpowers is resilience because, at the end of the day, I’m going to kick, scream, cry, cuss, be mad and disappointed, but I’m going to get up and risk having to deal with it all again. It’s worth it for the happy moments,” she says.
If Riley seems more comfortable and confident professionally, it’s because of the work she’s been doing in her personal life.
She’d previously spoken to xoNecole about becoming engaged to a man she discovered in a post on the site, but she called things off last year. For Valentine’s Day, she revealed her new boyfriend publicly. “I decided to post him on Valentine’s Day, partially because I was in the dog house. I got in trouble with him,” she says, half-joking before turning serious. “The breakup was never going to stop me from finding love. Or at least trying. I don’t owe anybody a happily ever after. People break up. It happens. When it was good, it was good. When it was bad, it was terrible, hunny. I had to get the fuck up out of there. You find happiness, and you enjoy it and work through it.”
Credit: Ally Green
"I don’t owe anybody a happily ever after. People break up. It happens. When it was good, it was good. When it was bad, it was terrible, hunny. I had to get the fuck up out of there. You find happiness and you enjoy it and work through it.”
With her ex, Riley was pretty outspoken about her relationship, even appearing in content for Netflix with him. This time around is different. She’s not hiding her boyfriend of eight months, but she’s more protective of him, especially because he’s a father and isn’t interested in becoming a public figure.
She’s traveling more, too. It’s a deliberate effort on her part to enjoy her money and reject the trauma she’s developed after experiencing poverty in her childhood. “I live in constant fear of being broke. I don’t think you ever don’t remember that trauma or move past that. Now I travel and I’m like, listen, if it goes, it goes. I’m not saying [to] be reckless, but I deserve to enjoy my hard work.”
After everything she’s been through, she certainly deserves to finally let loose a bit. “I have to have a life to live,” she says. “I’ve got to have a life worth fighting for.”
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Squeeze Your Way To Ecstasy: How This Masturbation Technique Can Make You Orgasm
What if I told you that you can achieve an orgasm by simply squeezing your thighs together? Believe it or not, this technique has been known to lead to some seriously orgasmic experiences and is gaining popularity among people who want to explore new ways of reaching orgasm. There's a word for this, it’s called syntribation. The act of squeezing or rubbing the thighs together to create friction and pressure until climax.
First, let's talk about the anatomy behind this technique. The pelvic nerves responsible for arousal and orgasm pass through the thighs, so squeezing them can stimulate these nerves and send a rush of pleasure to your genitals. Additionally, the muscles in your thighs tense up during orgasm, so squeezing them can replicate that sensation and potentially lead to the real deal.
How To Do Syntribation
Start by crossing your legs and squeezing your thighs. Keep going until you feel a pleasurable pressure on your clit/glans area. Another method is by putting your hands in the middle of your inner thighs. Then cross your legs and squeeze your thighs as tight as you can. Note that your hands are not doing anything - they are just sandwiched between your thighs. Using this method will provide more pressure and squeezing sensation.
You can also practice syntribation with sex toys as long as they’re not chunky vibes and dildos. Simply place the sex toy in the middle of your thighs, and let it vibrate as you syntribate.
Is Syntribation Safe?
While syntribation masturbation is a relatively new masturbation technique, it does not pose any major risks to your physical health. The one potential risk is possibly skin irritation from friction, but that can be avoided by wearing long pants or using a cushion between your legs.
The Benefits of Syntribation
As with any masturbation technique, this one will have some health benefits, including a boosted immune system, reduced stress, glowing skin, stronger vaginal walls, and so on. Syntribation masturbation can offer a new way to explore your sexuality and achieve sexual pleasure. It can be a great alternative for people who prefer not to use their hands or fingers during masturbation.
In addition to enhancing feelings of pleasure and relaxation, syntribation may even appeal to voyeurs and exhibitionists who are intrigued by the idea of public play.
Is Syntribation Effective?
The effectiveness of syntribation masturbation varies from person to person. Some people may find it more pleasurable than traditional methods of masturbation, while others may not enjoy it at all. It ultimately comes down to individual preferences and experiences. However, if you are looking to try something new and explore different ways to achieve orgasm, syntribation masturbation can be worth giving a try.
Although syntribation masturbation may sound unusual, it is gaining popularity as a way to explore new methods of achieving sexual pleasure. It’s hands-free and has no major risks. Even though the effectiveness of syntribation masturbation varies from person to person, depending on individual preferences and experiences, ultimately, I think it’s worth giving it a try.
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Featured image by Bob Thomas/Getty Images