
What Growing Up As A Jehovah's Witness While Not Liking Your Faith Looks Like

As 2016 winds down and the holidays rapidly approach, many people are finalizing their Christmas gift lists, preparing elaborate food menus, getting the guest room ready for family, and eagerly counting down to time when they feel they are celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ.
For me, however, the holidays are not that special. I enjoy the time off from work, seeing family I haven’t seen in a while, and getting my grub on, but this Christmas will be just like any other Sunday to me.
The reason being is I grew up Jehovah Witness and don’t celebrate holidays. And while, technically I am still a Jehovah’s Witness, I do not follow the teachings any longer.
As soon as I say I was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness, I usually get two reactions. One is a nod of acknowledgement as they start naming off other JW’s they know to see if I know them.
The second and most common reaction is the look of sheer horror and confusion on their faces:
“You’re one of those Jehovah’s?!”
“Why?!”
“But you seem so…. normal.”
“Do you go knocking on people’s doors?”
I don’t even get offended anymore. I’m used to it. All my life I stood out and had to learn to be different and field questions about my “bizarre” beliefs.
Growing Up Jehovah
I was raised in a two-parent household. Both of my parents converted to the Jehovah Witness faith as teens and were heavily involved by the time I was born. Since I was raised JW, that was all I knew, and for a long time I had no idea I was different since JWs really only hang with other JWs. I have family members that are other religions but we are not close so I did not see them often.
My childhood was somewhat normal. My dad worked and my mom was a stay-at-home mom. She was heavily involved in the service ministry, so my days were spent going out in field service…all day. Field service is when you see people knocking on people’s doors and offering to study the bible with them. See, my mom was what they called a “regular pioneer” and they were required to get 90 hours a month in field service. My mom was very dedicated and we would literally be out in service from sun up to sundown.
I hated it.
Even after I got older and started school, in the evenings I would either be at the Kingdom Hall (it’s like church) or bible studies with my mom. Saturday mornings were spent in field service and Sundays, I was at the Kingdom Hall again. We would have family worship night at home and were encouraged to only read materials approved by Jehovah’s Witnesses. I read some secular books for school but not much outside of that.
School Daze
In school, I stood out for not doing what the other kids did and sometimes I was teased. JWs don’t believe in pledging allegiance to the flag (our allegiance is to Jehovah and Jesus only), participating in extracurricular sports or activities (participating in those activities would require association with others who are not JWs and that is frowned upon), or celebrating holidays or birthdays because of their pagan backgrounds – so I never had a birthday party or received Christmas gifts.
At school when other kids were celebrating holidays, I would excuse myself and do other activities. My parents would buy me gifts for getting good grades, or just because, and I would have friends over for slumber parties. I never felt deprived and never missed celebrating holidays. I did, however, want to get involved in some extracurricular activities in school like track, cheerleading and band but wasn’t allowed to.
I always resented my parents for that.
Rebel Without a Cause
When I turned 14, like most teens, I started to rebel and do things that were against my religion and my parents’ wishes. I became friends with some girls at school who were not JWs and started to get into the party scene. We were all underage, but got our hands on fake IDs and started to hit the club scene, drinking, and smoking weed. I also got a boyfriend and started having premarital sex which is a BIG no-no in the Jehovah’s Witness religion. Having premarital sex willingly is grounds for being expelled from the congregation so I had to hide it from my parents and everyone I knew that went to the Kingdom Hall.
It was so hard and emotionally draining to live a double life, so eventually I got tired and told my parents that I did not want to be a JW anymore. They responded with “our house, our rules” so I continued to sneak and do what I wanted but I would still get caught sometimes. If any JW sees you doing something wrong, they are obligated to tell on you. I had to learn a lot of things the hard way because I could not talk to anyone about sex, boys, etc. I made a lot of mistakes that could have been avoided if I could just have had a REAL conversation with someone older than me.
When you commit serious sins (fornication, adultery, homosexuality, murder, witchcraft, pornography), you have to talk to a group of designated men called Elders that decide if you get to stay in the congregation or not. They usually try to help get you back on track if you show them you are repentant. I messed up a lot so I got to know the Elders very well, but I always hated having to talk to them. It is embarrassing having to tell all your dirty deeds to someone.
Plus, depending on what you did, and the number of times you did it, they would announce to the congregation that you were basically on punishment. That was so embarrassing and other people would judge you. Not fun.
Walk By Faith, Not By Sight
I was always taught that if I ever left the JW religion, my life would turn out miserable. I remember they used to show us these skits of people who left and ended up on drugs, contracted AIDS, etc. so for a while I was terrified that I would end up like that. But that never happened. I moved out of my parents’ house at 18 and never looked back.
I started reading up on other religions. I wanted to know what else was out there before Christianity. There were times when I would feel that my life was missing some spiritual connection and I would try to go back to being an active JW, but it never lasted long.
I decided to start living my life for me and do what made me happy.
Any education after high school was always discouraged. They encouraged everyone to get involved in the ministry full time and just find a job that allows you to pay your bills but not look for a career. I decided to go back to school and get my bachelor’s degree. I met new people, did some traveling, and started to see the world outside of what I was taught.
[Tweet "To me, any religion that encourages relatives to abandon their own flesh and blood is not something I want to be a part of."]
My relationship with my parents suffered because they do not have much contact with me since I decided to stop practicing the JW faith. The only time I hear from them is when they are trying to get me to go to some JW service or get me to read some JW publications. Other than that, nothing. To me, any religion that encourages relatives to abandon their own flesh and blood is not something I want to be a part of.
There are still some principles of the JW faith I believe, but I also believe some other teachings from other faiths. I haven’t found one faith where I believe everything they teach.
Now, I am in my 30’s and finally feel like I really know who I am.
I have an awesome group of friends and I am in a great relationship with a loving man and we are planning our future together. I know that my parents will most likely not come to our wedding and I have come to terms with that.
I no longer live my life for others. I still pray to Jehovah, but I don’t want to go back to being a Jehovah’s Witness. I could be completely wrong. Jehovah’s Witnesses might have everything right. All I know is it's not right for me and no one else has to understand or agree with me and I can honestly say I am completely ok with that.
Have you ever had problems in your relationship with your faith? How did you overcome them? Let us know in the comments below!
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Swipe Right For Sisterhood: Reginae Carter Talks Teaming Up With BLK To Make Friendships Front & Center
You know the vibes: dating apps aren’t just for finding romance anymore—at least not for Gen Z! As young people continue to redefine connection, BLK, the leading dating app for Black singles, is shaking things up with the launch of Social Mode. The new feature allows users to toggle between dating and platonic connections. Yep, you read that right—friendship is now just as easy to find as love.
To kick off this game-changing launch, BLK teamed up with TV personality and socialite Reginae Carter for the ultimate Girls’ Night In, proving that sisterhood is just as important as romance. The exclusive event was a celebration of the new feature and the power of Black women coming together to uplift one another.
“Your circle is everything,” Reginae shares with a smile, and she’s not wrong. She’s all about creating spaces where we can come together, let our hair down, and vibe with like-minded women. “We deserve spaces to meet, uplift, and vibe with each other. BLK is making that happen,” she adds.
A New Era for Friendships—Social Mode Is Here!
Gen Z is all about building meaningful connections, whether it’s with a date or a new brunch buddy. That’s why Social Mode is such a big deal. Research shows that 65% of Gen Z values friendships just as much as romantic relationships. With BLK’s new feature, users can easily toggle between “Dating” and “Social,” opening up a world of platonic connections—no swiping right required.
Bahja Rodriguez, Reginae Carter, Breaunna Womack, Lourdes Rodriguez and Zonnique Pullins attend OMG Girlz "Make A Scene" Single Release & Video Viewing Party at Trap City Cafe on March 27, 2025 in Atlanta, Georgia
Photo by Prince Williams/WireImage
Reginae Carter Hosts the Ultimate Girls’ Night In—Powered by BLK Social Mode
What better way to show Social Mode in action than with an exclusive Girls’ Night In, hosted by Reginae? The event brought together top influencers, tastemakers, and press for a night of luxury, self-care, and real talk about love, sex, and relationships. From tarot readings to perfume-making and signature cocktails, the evening embodied the “soft life” vibe that many Black women are embracing in 2025—peaceful, intentional, and full of joy.
Guests mingled, laughed, and bonded over the importance of finding a tribe that supports you. It wasn’t just about fun (although there was plenty of that!)—it was about creating a circle of inspiring, strong women. “We need to stick together. We need to be each other’s village,” Reginae says, emphasizing the power of community over competition.
Sisterhood: The Real MVP
For Reginae, it’s all about friendship—and not just the surface-level kind. “We need friends who keep it real with us. The ones who can tell us when we’re right, when we’re wrong, and when we need to calm down,” she says. As someone who navigates the spotlight, she’s got the best of both worlds: friends who understand the grind and those who can give her an honest, grounded perspective.
Her advice for building strong, intentional friendships? “Be confident in yourself and know your worth,” she explains. “Also, hurt people hurt people, so make sure you’re coming from a good place when you’re building relationships. It’s not always about being nice—sometimes it’s about being real.”
Reginae couldn’t have summed it up better: “When you have the right circle, the right tribe, everything just feels easier. And that’s exactly what BLK is giving us—space to connect, laugh, and grow with each other.”
To learn more about BLK’s Social Mode, download or update the BLK app in the App Store or Google Play Store today. Who knows? You might just find your new bestie or your next brunch crew.
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Feature image by Prince Williams/WireImage