
What Growing Up As A Jehovah's Witness While Not Liking Your Faith Looks Like

As 2016 winds down and the holidays rapidly approach, many people are finalizing their Christmas gift lists, preparing elaborate food menus, getting the guest room ready for family, and eagerly counting down to time when they feel they are celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ.
For me, however, the holidays are not that special. I enjoy the time off from work, seeing family I haven’t seen in a while, and getting my grub on, but this Christmas will be just like any other Sunday to me.
The reason being is I grew up Jehovah Witness and don’t celebrate holidays. And while, technically I am still a Jehovah’s Witness, I do not follow the teachings any longer.
As soon as I say I was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness, I usually get two reactions. One is a nod of acknowledgement as they start naming off other JW’s they know to see if I know them.
The second and most common reaction is the look of sheer horror and confusion on their faces:
“You’re one of those Jehovah’s?!”
“Why?!”
“But you seem so…. normal.”
“Do you go knocking on people’s doors?”
I don’t even get offended anymore. I’m used to it. All my life I stood out and had to learn to be different and field questions about my “bizarre” beliefs.
Growing Up Jehovah
I was raised in a two-parent household. Both of my parents converted to the Jehovah Witness faith as teens and were heavily involved by the time I was born. Since I was raised JW, that was all I knew, and for a long time I had no idea I was different since JWs really only hang with other JWs. I have family members that are other religions but we are not close so I did not see them often.
My childhood was somewhat normal. My dad worked and my mom was a stay-at-home mom. She was heavily involved in the service ministry, so my days were spent going out in field service…all day. Field service is when you see people knocking on people’s doors and offering to study the bible with them. See, my mom was what they called a “regular pioneer” and they were required to get 90 hours a month in field service. My mom was very dedicated and we would literally be out in service from sun up to sundown.
I hated it.
Even after I got older and started school, in the evenings I would either be at the Kingdom Hall (it’s like church) or bible studies with my mom. Saturday mornings were spent in field service and Sundays, I was at the Kingdom Hall again. We would have family worship night at home and were encouraged to only read materials approved by Jehovah’s Witnesses. I read some secular books for school but not much outside of that.
School Daze
In school, I stood out for not doing what the other kids did and sometimes I was teased. JWs don’t believe in pledging allegiance to the flag (our allegiance is to Jehovah and Jesus only), participating in extracurricular sports or activities (participating in those activities would require association with others who are not JWs and that is frowned upon), or celebrating holidays or birthdays because of their pagan backgrounds – so I never had a birthday party or received Christmas gifts.
At school when other kids were celebrating holidays, I would excuse myself and do other activities. My parents would buy me gifts for getting good grades, or just because, and I would have friends over for slumber parties. I never felt deprived and never missed celebrating holidays. I did, however, want to get involved in some extracurricular activities in school like track, cheerleading and band but wasn’t allowed to.
I always resented my parents for that.
Rebel Without a Cause
When I turned 14, like most teens, I started to rebel and do things that were against my religion and my parents’ wishes. I became friends with some girls at school who were not JWs and started to get into the party scene. We were all underage, but got our hands on fake IDs and started to hit the club scene, drinking, and smoking weed. I also got a boyfriend and started having premarital sex which is a BIG no-no in the Jehovah’s Witness religion. Having premarital sex willingly is grounds for being expelled from the congregation so I had to hide it from my parents and everyone I knew that went to the Kingdom Hall.
It was so hard and emotionally draining to live a double life, so eventually I got tired and told my parents that I did not want to be a JW anymore. They responded with “our house, our rules” so I continued to sneak and do what I wanted but I would still get caught sometimes. If any JW sees you doing something wrong, they are obligated to tell on you. I had to learn a lot of things the hard way because I could not talk to anyone about sex, boys, etc. I made a lot of mistakes that could have been avoided if I could just have had a REAL conversation with someone older than me.
When you commit serious sins (fornication, adultery, homosexuality, murder, witchcraft, pornography), you have to talk to a group of designated men called Elders that decide if you get to stay in the congregation or not. They usually try to help get you back on track if you show them you are repentant. I messed up a lot so I got to know the Elders very well, but I always hated having to talk to them. It is embarrassing having to tell all your dirty deeds to someone.
Plus, depending on what you did, and the number of times you did it, they would announce to the congregation that you were basically on punishment. That was so embarrassing and other people would judge you. Not fun.
Walk By Faith, Not By Sight
I was always taught that if I ever left the JW religion, my life would turn out miserable. I remember they used to show us these skits of people who left and ended up on drugs, contracted AIDS, etc. so for a while I was terrified that I would end up like that. But that never happened. I moved out of my parents’ house at 18 and never looked back.
I started reading up on other religions. I wanted to know what else was out there before Christianity. There were times when I would feel that my life was missing some spiritual connection and I would try to go back to being an active JW, but it never lasted long.
I decided to start living my life for me and do what made me happy.
Any education after high school was always discouraged. They encouraged everyone to get involved in the ministry full time and just find a job that allows you to pay your bills but not look for a career. I decided to go back to school and get my bachelor’s degree. I met new people, did some traveling, and started to see the world outside of what I was taught.
[Tweet "To me, any religion that encourages relatives to abandon their own flesh and blood is not something I want to be a part of."]
My relationship with my parents suffered because they do not have much contact with me since I decided to stop practicing the JW faith. The only time I hear from them is when they are trying to get me to go to some JW service or get me to read some JW publications. Other than that, nothing. To me, any religion that encourages relatives to abandon their own flesh and blood is not something I want to be a part of.
There are still some principles of the JW faith I believe, but I also believe some other teachings from other faiths. I haven’t found one faith where I believe everything they teach.
Now, I am in my 30’s and finally feel like I really know who I am.
I have an awesome group of friends and I am in a great relationship with a loving man and we are planning our future together. I know that my parents will most likely not come to our wedding and I have come to terms with that.
I no longer live my life for others. I still pray to Jehovah, but I don’t want to go back to being a Jehovah’s Witness. I could be completely wrong. Jehovah’s Witnesses might have everything right. All I know is it's not right for me and no one else has to understand or agree with me and I can honestly say I am completely ok with that.
Have you ever had problems in your relationship with your faith? How did you overcome them? Let us know in the comments below!
Roscoe Dash joined xoMan host Kiara Walker to share the journey of his personal and spiritual evolution—from the party anthems that made him famous to a deeper life rooted in faith, family, and purpose. This episode offers an honest look at how the artist has grown beyond early fame, addressing fatherhood, masculinity, creativity, and healing.
Dash opened up about the internal transformation that has guided him away from chasing the spotlight and toward seeking peace. “Faith and fear can’t occupy the same space,” he said, underscoring his shift toward a more spiritually grounded life. Throughout the interview, he emphasized the importance of self-reflection:
“The most important conversations to me, honestly, outside of the ones you have with God, is the ones you have with yourself in the mirror.”
Dash is focused on the man he’s become. “I’m not the accolades I’ve achieved—I’m the person who achieved them,” he added, pointing to a broader understanding of identity and worth. A large part of that growth has come through fatherhood, especially raising daughters, which he said has deepened his understanding of love. “Love is unconditional and love loves to love no matter what,” he shared.
He also spoke candidly about the pressures of fame and its impact on creativity. “Chasing fame can kill your creativity as a musician,” he warns. Instead, his advice to other artists is simple but clear: “Keep your focus on your art form, whatever that may be, and stay passionate.”
The conversation also touches on gender dynamics and emotional safety in relationships. “Safe men make soft women. If she feels safe, she’ll melt like butter,” he said, challenging traditional notions of masculinity. Roscoe also offers wisdom on discernment and spiritual testing: “Sometimes the devil will give you what looks better than your blessing.”
Ultimately, Dash has learned to embrace peace over chaos. “All I can do is control what I can control. And that's how I respond to things and what I'm giving out,” he said. It’s a thoughtful, soulful side of Roscoe Dash that many may not expect—but one that leaves a lasting impression.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by xoNecole/YouTube
I Tried It: 3 Low-Maintenance Wigs That Will Elevate Your Look This Season
There's nothing like the feeling you get when your hair is done. It can instantly boost your confidence and put you in a great mood. I've never been a stranger to hair trends and I often experiment with the latest braided styles and colors.
But there are moments when I just don't feel like doing my hair. I'm natural and a lot of times I will braid or twist my hair up and cover it with a scarf or turban. However, when I crave a different look without the hassle of styling, I reach for a wig.
I've always had a love-hate relationship with wigs. Sometimes, I struggle to get them to lay flat and don't get me started with the bonding glue process. So when it comes to wearing wigs, I like to keep it nice and breezy around this b--- (word to Katt Williams), especially in the summertime.
That's why I jumped at the chance to try these three versatile wigs from Luvme Hair. Each one offers a unique look and is surprisingly low maintenance, which aligns perfectly with my philosophy that wearing wigs should make life easier. Let’s dive into the three styles below.
Headband Wig
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This was the first wig I tried on, and I instantly fell in love with it. So much so that it took me weeks to even consider trying the other two. I’m partial to colored hair, especially blonds, browns, and reds, so I was skeptical about the jet black hair. However, I think the color, combined with the curl pattern, worked surprisingly well for me.
One of the things I really liked about this wig was that I didn’t have to braid my hair down first. I could simply throw it over a low ponytail, which is the epitome of a low-maintenance style. The headband has combs inside and velcro on the ends, ensuring a secure fit.
Half Wig
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I had never worn a half wig before, so I faced some challenges. I cornrowed the bottom half of my hair where the wig would sit, but I believe this made it more difficult to use the combs. It might just be me though. I straightened the top part of my hair to blend it with the wig, which looked cute for about five minutes.
Firstly, I have a brown/blonde color mix on the ends of my hair, and the half wig is black. So, I had to hide some of the color (I didn’t have time to dye the wig). Secondly, straightening my hair myself is always a hassle because it never lasts long. Add to that the summer humidity, and you get a hot mess. Despite all this, I managed to get some cute pictures before things got out of control, and that’s all that matters, right?
Would I consider this a low-maintenance hair style? Yes and no. I think it’s unrealistic for me during the summer, especially since I enjoy summer activities. However, when the weather cools down, I’ll definitely rock it, dyed, of course.
Bob
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Now, this is the wig I was nervous about. I never had a bob and I didn't think I would like it. But once I put bobiana on, my mind instantly changed. I finally understood why the gworls rave about the bob so much. It was giving boss. It was giving grown woman. It was giving the bob means business. Iykyk. It was the ultimate statement.
I will say when I first put it on, one side of my wig just would not lay flat. It took some trial and error, but I finally managed to get it to look good. With the bob, I highly recommend braiding your hair down first as small as you can so it can lay as flat as possible. I really liked the ash blonde color, which is perfect for summer. The length also makes it a great low-maintenance style for the season, so you don't have to worry about the hair making your neck sweaty.
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