Should You Be The One To Pursue Your Future Husband? These Celebs Did!
Sitting and looking pretty while waiting on your crush to come your way is great, but are you possibly passing up on your future husband by playing the waiting game?
According to archaic gender roles, it's the man's job to approach a woman, not the other way around. That's possibly due to the initial approach being the first step in the courting process. However, that was then, and this is now. Modern times is telling women that if she's trying to get chose, then she needs to be doing the choosing! After all, we're now living in an age where women are confidently sliding all up and through DM's. So it's pretty much a "you snooze, you lose" situation.
Despite what Amber Rose has previously said, Kim Kardashian wasn't about to snooze and lose Kanye.
Mrs. Kardasian-West is adamant she and her now-husband didn't officially become a thing until both were single and ready to mingle. And as much as Kanye showers her with more attention than a newborn, it was actually Kim who made the move that would ultimately end in her matrimonial happiness.
In a 2015 interview with Access Hollywood's Billy Bush, Kim says she called up Kanye when her second marriage to NBA player Kris Humpries failed after 72 days. Apparently, Kanye had warned his future wife that her marriage to the ballplayer wasn't going to work out. When it didn't, Kim waited by the phone, thinking Kanye was going to call and rub it in. However, Kim made her move and surprisingly revealed that Kanye was hesitant to start a romantic relationship with her because she burned him before.
Explaining their five-year back-and-forth, she revealed:
I was always attracted to [Kanye]. I was always attracted [to him physically and his creativity].
When I first met him, we worked on a project together, and there was definitely a spark, but we were in other relationships, and we kept our distance, and that was really that. We met [in 2007] on a pilot him and Jimmy Kimmel were doing that didn't come to fruition.
We stayed in touch here and there and then when he wasn't in relationships, you know, it's just our timing would always not really coincide. And then, I think it was six months after I was newly single in like 2012, I was like, "Why not? What am I waiting for?" I called him because I'm sure it was really hurtful that I got married and, even though it's not like we communicated all the time, I knew what he was thinking. So I thought he was going to call me as soon as he knew that I was single again.
Kim & Kanye on their first date
He didn't, and so I called him, and I said, 'Hello? I thought you were at least going to call me and say, 'I told you so,' something?'" Then – he's always been a good friend to me. We've always been there for each other – then he invited me to a fashion show of his in Paris and I went, and then the magic happened. But then we both were like, 'Okay, is this going to be it?' And then, in my head, I was like, 'You know what? Screw it! This probably what I've been waiting for. It's been in front of my face.'
I think he was also cautious. Like, 'I've expressed myself for you and it didn't work out. You got married.' So I think he needed to make sure that I was sure, so he wasn't--I think it was more me pursuing me. Like, 'I know I am ready. I promise I'm ready now.'
And the rest is history! The couple of two adorable children will be celebrating their second-year anniversary May 24th!
Kim wasn't the only one, Solange Knowles wasn't afraid to step to her now-husband, Alan Ferguson. In our 2013 exclusive interview with her, Solo said she was never the type to play them waiting games.
I've been in a relationship now for five years. Certainly, in the beginning I was the one who approached him so I have always sort of historically been one of those girls that goes after something that I'm into. I'm not very old school and like, I'm gonna wait on you. Wait for you to approach me type of situation. I have a lot of guy-like quintessential relationship qualities that I have had to work on.
And like Kim K, Solo is now happily married.
Have you ever been brave enough and made the first move?
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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If you’re like many other people who are prioritizing wellness these days, then attending a wellness retreat might be something to consider. Wellness retreats are a cool way to get the relaxation you’ve been missing in a space with like-minded people who share a common goal. I descended upon my first wellness retreat, the Mind, Body, + Sol Retreat, a couple of weeks ago at the Zoëtry Agua Punta Cana Resort in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic.
Zoëtry Agua is part of the Inclusive Collection for the World of Hyatt. It is nestled on a secluded part of Uvero Alto beach, which has crystal blue waters. The resort itself is picturesque, with its thatched roofs and lazy rivers that make you feel like you’re in a cute little village.
Mindy, Body, + Sol Retreat was hosted by Koya Webb, holistic health and wellness coach and yoga instructor, and it also featured other wellness practitioners who combined provided the ultimate gift of relaxation and getting back to oneself.
The first night was a Welcome Dinner that featured a five-course meal and an opportunity to meet our companions for the next three days. The food was impeccable and the only downside was that I wasn’t able to finish it all. The next day, however, was the official start of the classes, and I was ready to dive in.
Aura and Chakra Reading
Aura and chakra reading
Photo courtesy
My first class was an aura and chakra reading led by Laura McCann and James Levinson, an Asheville, NC couple. I’ve had chakra readings before, but never like this. There was a computer, a camera, and a scanner, which I placed my hand on for the reading. After two minutes, I received a 15-page report explaining my aura and chakra reading.
It breaks down what the colors of your aura are and what your chakras say. My main colors were green and yellow, which were defined by a variety of things. The top of my aura was green, meaning I have a social mental state and I’m a natural healer. My aura on my left side was yellow meaning my energy flowing is optimistic and light and so on.
After James discussed the findings with me, I then met with Laura, who gave me aromatherapy oils from their ADORAtherapy line that represented each chakra. She further explained the results of my chakra reading and shared how each oil can assist. Chakras are the energy centers in our body, and there is a total of seven: root, sacral, solar plexus, heart, throat, third eye, and crown. All of my chakras were high except for my heart chakra, which I have since been working on. I may follow up about that in another article.
Sound Bath
Sound bath class
Photo courtesy
Next was the sound bath class. It was located in the spa, which was indoor/ outdoor and the perfect setting for this kind of experience. Andrew Francis and Carrie Bailey of Zenden Meditation were the co-pilots in transporting attendees into a place of tranquility. I laid down, closed my eyes, and allowed the sounds around me to bring me into a relaxing state. From the singing bowls to the wind chimes, I was in heaven. I even fell asleep and got some of the best rest I’ve had in a while. It was a beautiful experience. However, remember when I noted it was an indoor/ outdoor venue? I forgot to put on bug spray and woke up pretty itchy. But it didn’t stop me from enjoying the moment.
Tea Party
Art of Tea Ritual Tea Party
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The last event of the day was the Art of Tea Ritual located in the resort’s tea garden. It was everything you could want in a tea party. Delectable treats such as cookies, cakes, and white chocolate-covered strawberries, which are my fave. And, of course, tea. While I got to sip tea, I also got to make my own tea blend. There were many different teas to choose from, like hibiscus to your regular black tea. I decided to mix rose and mint and I called it RoseMint. I didn’t get to try my tea blend until I got home, and I’ll be honest, it’s probably the best tea I ever had. The tea herbs taste so fresh, and I love how fragrant it smells.
Breathwork
Breathwork Class
Photo Courtesy
The next morning was all about breathwork. If you exercise regularly, then you probably know the importance of breathing. But there’s more to it besides remembering to breathe during your workout. Margaret Townsend is a breathwork facilitator who helps people achieve wellness by consciously changing their breathing patterns. In her class, I learned to change my breathing pattern for energy as well as for relaxation. While I know that breathing is a relaxation tool, I was blown away to learn that it can also energize you. Because it was a different breathing pattern, I was also able to stay present and keep a steady pace.
Yoga
Koya Webb's yoga class
Photo courtesy
The final class of the retreat was evening yoga with Koya Webb, who, as I mentioned earlier, was the host. Her class was held beside the beautiful Uvero Alto beach, which made for a stunning backdrop and the perfect way to end the retreat. It was important for me to get back into my body after not doing yoga for a few weeks, so I was really focused on nailing the moves. However, Koya kept the energy light and fun, evening cracking a few jokes throughout, which made it easy for me to relax and enjoy the moment. She ended the class with a dance break and hugs from our classmates.
The Mind, Body, + Sol Retreat reminded me how important it is to take time to love on myself. Each class was an opportunity to be present and get reacquainted with oneself in the most loving way. Being surrounded by individuals who encouraged my journey was what I needed, and I am so honored to have had this experience.
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