

An almost 30-year-old soon-to-be divorced mom of two, going on an unpaid internship would be laughable to most. And most of my peers did (and still do) laugh at me when I tell them about what I'm doing. I realized that what anyone else thought or deemed acceptable by society's standards did not concern me. It would only stand in the way of me walking confidently in my path. So I ignored the nagging voice telling me to "get real" and give up my dreams, like so many times before, and pushed ahead to pursue a social media internship for the Curly Girl Collective, more specifically, for CurlFest, the world's largest natural beauty festival!
I first heard about CurlFest in the summer of 2016. As a new natural hair blogger eagerly doing research, I found several photos that women were posting on the 'gram under the hashtag #CURLFEST. All I remember was seeing big curly hair and bold festival-style outfits on gorgeous black women of all shades with a lush green backdrop that I later would discover was Prospect Park in Brooklyn, NY. I was obsessed! I knew it was an event I wanted to attend, but I had no idea that two years later, I would be a part of it!
My original goal was to attend the festival in the summer of 2017, but life got in the way and I didn't even think to plan for it. Later in the year, life happened again but in a way that made me decide to take control and stop allowing life to keep happening to me and start allowing to happen for me. So when the Curly Girl Collective posted about needing social media interns, it felt like a no-brainer to put my name in the hat. I was not going to struggle or miss out on any more opportunities because of self-sabotage. I was going to bet on myself at every chance I got, and my first chance turned out to be a winner!
When I found out I got selected to be an intern, I was elated, but then the financial reality set in. How the hell was I going to pay for this? Or justify taking a trip to NY when I was barely covering my bills each month? I would have to secure my plane ticket, housing, and anything else I would need in NY.
On the surface, it felt irrational. But I knew that I had to do it in order to push myself to the next level.
So, I coordinated things with a friend of mine who was also going to CurlFest and was able to get an amazing deal on a plane ticket. She also found an Airbnb for a reasonable price. I knew things would be tight, but I was going to make it! At this point on my journey to CurlFest, I was confident and felt unshakable. I was determined to suppress that little nagging voice in my head telling me all the reasons why this was not going to work out, and I kept pushing ahead toward Brooklyn.
My entire CurlFest experience was a blur of excitement, stress, and lots and lots of walking. Our social media team jumped in and helped volunteers with preparing goodie bags and excitedly reflected on how our hard work was paying off! Our campaigns were creating buzz and one of the girls (shoutout to Amber) cracked the infamous IG algorithm, which played a huge part in us hitting goals we had to grow the social media presence of the Curly Girl Collective over the weekend.
The biggest hurdles I had to overcome in my time working with the CGC were self-doubt and a serious case of Impostor Syndrome. I've always questioned my abilities, despite countless examples of why I should not. As I've forced myself to reflect on this during meditation and writing, I realized that it wasn't so much that I am afraid of my abilities, but I am afraid of winning. I am afraid of walking in my greatness because it's so much easier to be small.
I remember hanging out with a girlfriend and repeating how much I could not believe that I was selected to work for the CGC. She laughed the first time, but the next time I said it, she called me out. She told me to quit questioning the opportunity that I was given and focus on showing and proving that they made the right choice. In that moment, it was clear that I was the only thing preventing me from moving to the next level in my career, regardless of the industry.
From then on, I did self-checks every time I gushed about how much I could not believe that I had gotten an opportunity. I appreciated the fact that I worked hard for the opportunities that I landed, they were not handouts. When I did this, my ideas began to flow more freely. I submitted work to the rest of the team and the CGC founder we primarily correspond with, and consistently got positive feedback.
I made the decision to embrace my gifts and blessings instead of questioning them and everything blossomed from there.
For years, I allowed negative self-talk and fear of failure to hold me back; so much so that self-doubt almost stopped me from pursuing the opportunity to work with CGC. This time though, I forced myself to focus on positive self-talk and anticipating success! It was scary, but I finally decided that I was going to start taking more chances on me. Period. I never saw myself actually making a living as a content creator, but now I do. Since returning from CurlFest, I have been sending out pitches, doing photoshoots, asking for help when I need it so that I can focus on my work, etc.
I finally started taking myself and my dreams seriously and in turn, I see God blessing my efforts. My road to Curlfest served as a catalyst to me walking in God's purpose for my life. It helped me to learn to trust myself, my decision-making process, and to quit doubting my gifts.
Most importantly, I finally gave myself permission to affirm my dopeness while still showing gratitude to the source.
After spending the last 28 years operating from a space of timidity, my decision to go to NY for the Curly Girl Collective/CurlFest internship was a bold move that provided the exact confidence boost I needed.
I'm starting my life over as a single mother of two, pursuing a creative career, and killing it! Naysayers had me convinced that I couldn't hold things down on my own and that my dreams would have to be put on hold. But I know that motherhood gave me a reason to go harder for my dreams, not an excuse to forget them. CurlFest confirmed that for me and I was both humbled and emboldened by the experience.
Featured image by Shutterstock
Keisha Marie is a twenty-something writer and digital content creator from Denver, Co. She is a mother of two sour patch kids and an OG naturalista who is obsessed with connections, collaboration, and creativity. You can find her on Instagram @keishamarieco sharing gems about motherhood, life after separation, and more!
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
'When You Build It, They Can’t Tell You You Can’t Sit': DJ Miss Milan, Marsai Martin & More Talk Confidence
The Marie Claire Power Play Summit wasn’t just another branded panel event—it was an inspiring, sometimes emotional, and always honest look at what it really takes to rise, thrive, and stay at the top. From Olympians to entrepreneurs, artists to execs, the room was full of powerful women sharing the real stories behind their highlight reels. I walked away moved by their vulnerability, strength, and refusal to dim their light.
Here are some of my favorite takeaways from three standout panels featuring Jordan Chiles, Marsai Martin, and Kandi Burruss.
Leveling Up Your A-Game with Jordan Chiles, Morgan Shaw Parker, Chelsea Fishman, Laura Correnti, and Tabitha Turner-Wilkins
Jordan Chiles
Paras Griffin/ Getty Images for Power Play
Olympic gymnast Jordan may have medals and magazine covers to her name, but her mindset is refreshingly grounded. “The day I finally feel pressure,” she said, “will be the day I know there’s still more for me to learn.” For her, joy—not pressure—is the fuel. Her confidence isn’t performative; it’s rooted in family, self-worth, and authenticity.
“Everything I’ve done in my career—tattoos, long nails, rocking my crew at the Olympics—that’s all me. It’s not because someone told me to do it. It’s because I felt confident doing it. And that’s where my ambition comes from: being my authentic self.”
For Morgan Shaw Parker, President & COO of the Atlanta Dream, the conversation around pressure went even deeper. “Legacy work” is how she described her mission—navigating male-dominated spaces, sometimes pregnant and pumping on NFL team planes. “After COVID and George Floyd,” she shared, “it became clear to me: vulnerability is power. You don’t have to show up perfect to lead.”
Chelsea Fishman, founder of Atlanta's first bar dedicated to women’s sports, Jolene Jolene, shared how the haters (especially the Reddit kind) were her confirmation: “All those comments saying it would fail—those were the signs that I was doing something right.” She’s hosted 25+ watch parties already and is building the very community they said would never come.
This panel also touched on ambition, authenticity, and owning your power—both in sneakers and in suits. One of the best mic-drop moments came when the moderator flipped the question: “What if we stopped making ‘power’ a bad word for women?” A nod-worthy reminder that we’re not here to play small.
Making Your Voice Heard with Marsai Martin, Carol Martin, Miss Milan, and Heather McMahan
Marsai Martin
Paras Griffin/ Getty Images for Power Play
This panel was a masterclass in staying grounded while growing up—or glamming up—on the global stage. Actress and producer Marsai talked about what it’s like to show up in high-pressure moments when your confidence is low but the world is still watching. From red carpets to long shoot days, she reminded us that even when you’re not at 100%, you still find a way to push through.
“There have been days where I wasn’t feeling the best, but I still had to show up on this carpet. Or it was that time of the month, but I still had to go on set. I just didn’t feel as confident—but it’s about how you take care of yourself in those moments and still keep pushing.”
Her mom and business partner Carol Martin dropped gems about motherhood and mentorship: “It’s like teaching your kid to ride a bike over and over again. Now the bike is a movie or a brand.” That balance between guiding and letting go? Not easy—but essential when you’re raising a mogul and running a company.
“There have been days where I wasn’t feeling the best, but I still had to show up on this carpet. Or it was that time of the month, but I still had to go on set. I just didn’t feel as confident—but it’s about how you take care of yourself in those moments and still keep pushing.”
Miss Milan, Grammy Award-winning DJ and Doechii’s right-hand woman, lit the crowd up with her no-nonsense energy. “I built my own table,” she said. “When you build it, they can’t tell you you can’t sit.” From journaling her dreams to manifesting Grammys, her story is one of resilience and intention—and a whole lot of faith in her own vision.
This panel didn’t shy away from hard truths either: the sadness that can come with success, the fear of fading relevance, the criticism that hits differently when it’s personal. But Marsai said it best: know your why. And let it evolve with you.
The Cost of Starting Your Own Business with Kandi Burruss and Nikki Ogunnaike
Kandi Burruss
Carol Lee Rose/ Getty Images for Marie ClaireKandi doesn’t sugarcoat the grind. From chart-topping songwriter to multi-business entrepreneur, she’s built her empire one risk—and one reinvention—at a time.
“Fear equals failure. If you don’t even try, you’ve failed automatically —and you did it to yourself. I’d rather take a risk and lose money than play it safe and never know what could’ve happened.”
She broke down the real costs of entrepreneurship: money, time, and emotional bandwidth. “You think you’re going to work less when you work for yourself?” she laughed. “You’re going to work more.” For Kandi, mommy guilt and financial setbacks are part of the package—but so is the satisfaction of seeing an idea through.
She opened up about scaling back on her clothing store and temporarily closing the original Old Lady Gang location. “It felt like failure,” she admitted, “but sometimes you have to step back to make things better.” Still, she’s not one to quit. She just pivots—with precision.
One of her most memorable reflections? How her music career hiccup led her to songwriting—ultimately writing the mega-hit “No Scrubs.” That song became the key to a new lane and legacy. “You may think you’re working on one dream,” she said, “but it could open the door to another.”
Also? Kandi wants you to stop emailing her from a Gmail. “You’re doing million-dollar business on a bootleg budget,” she joked. “Invest in yourself. Start with a domain name!”
The Marie Claire Power Play Summit was a powerful reminder that ambition, authenticity, and vulnerability aren’t separate traits—they work in tandem. Whether you’re building a bar, a brand, or a business from scratch, the key is to stay rooted in your voice, your story, and your why.
And if you need a sign to go for it? Consider this your green light.
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Feature image by Paras Griffin/ Getty Images for Power Play