I’ve never really been big on New Year’s Resolutions — not in the classic sense, anyway. A part of the reason is because Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year) is what I observe and that transpires in the fall. Another reason is that I have long known what research says about January 1 resolutions: that they usually don’t work.
Experts say that it’s mostly because an unrealistic amount of expectation is put on the first day of each year because it is new when the reality is that only 25 percent of folks actually stick to their resolutions, even a month after making them. Besides, as I oftentimes say, if you really want to change or do something, you’ll start today — not wait until January 1. To me, that sounds like nothing more than low-key procrastination sprinkled with a bit of superstition.
Now, what I am all about, is taking seasonal inventory. That’s why I’ve written articles for the platform before like, “Love Recommitted: 7 Promises That Every Spouse Should Make This NYE,” “10 Questions To Ask Your Close Friends Before The New Year Begins,” “Stay Together Or Break-Up? The Dilemma That Must Be Discussed…Before NYE.” and “The Conversation You Need To Have With Yourself Before The New Year Begins” (for example).
Since the holiday season is oftentimes when many of us lean into a profound sense of self-reflection, it can be good to ask yourself (and/or folks you are in a relationship with) a few questions for clarity’s sake, if nothing else. Plus, there’s a project that I like to do with my own friends where I ask them to express what I bring into their lives with one word (check out “Texting Your Friends This One Question Will Reveal A Lot About Your Relationship”); it too can shed quite a bit of light.
And so, along the lines of applying a one-word formula for the sake of improving the quality of life, I spent some time thinking about a word that I could encourage you to use in 2025 — now that we are very much so a whopping quarter of a century into the year 2000 (crazy, right?). I did indeed come up with one, and while it might seem rather simple on the surface, as I unpack it just a bit, I think you will get that it can keep you quite focused (and centered) for the next 12 months…if you choose for it to.
Take the Pressure Off. Choose to EVOLVE.
GiphyAnother reason why top-of-the-year resolutions fail? It’s because, let’s be real, they are stressful as hell. All of a sudden, folks who never ate healthy want to go without ice cream for six months straight, people who’ve never had a budget before are cutting off all of their streaming services and banning Etsy, and individuals who can’t seem to shake their ex (check out “Stop Being In Relationship Purgatory With Your 'Kinda Ex'”) are out here declaring that they will never speak to them again.
Meanwhile, you know what else intel says about why resolutions tend to crash and burn? It’s because they simply aren’t a part of our lifestyle, routines, or habits. And here’s the thing: 40 percent of what we do every day are considered habits — things that we do without even thinking about them.
Resolutions on the other hand? Oh, they require almost damn near being obsessed with them because they are oftentimes so far off of the mark from our daily norm. And here’s the thing about stress and pressure — they can lead to overthinking, which can cause you to panic, which can either drain you or paralyze you completely.
Then, before you know it, you’ve quit your resolution, which leaves you feeling defeated, which means that you’re right back into your usual habits…almost as a form of comfort (even if you know that they are counterproductive as all get out). A hamster wheel, indeed.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? That we should take the “eff it” approach and do nothing during this time? Nooo…not at all. Actually, what I recommend is that you toss out the word “resolution” and replace it with “evolve” instead.
Evolve: to come forth gradually into being; develop; undergo evolution; to gradually change one's opinions or beliefs.
Synonyms: emerge; expand; mature; grow; advance; increase; open up; result; make progress; move forward; transform; unfold; adapt; adjust; release; advance; blossom; materialize; forge and play out.
Y’all, there are some cool quotes out here that speak about what comes with choosing to evolve. Japanese fashion designer Issey Miyake once said, “I love to be free to explore, research, and evolve.” Evolution is freedom.
Japanese artist Miyavi once said, “My philosophy is my learning process. Until you die, you must evolve and improve.” Evolution is a lifelong process of self-improvement.
Cinematographer Vilmos Zsigmond once said, “You can't just stick with what you know, you have to evolve.” Hmph. This makes me think of another favorite quote: “…re-examine all you have been told in school or church or in any book and dismiss whatever insults your own soul.” Walt Whitman said that.
Canadian artist Sarah McLachlan once said, “Change and growth is so painful. But it's so necessary for us to evolve.” Change and growth can be painful. You cannot evolve without discomfort.
And, even though he moves in ways that earn him side-eye much of the time, Amazon executive Jeff Bezos once said, “What's dangerous is not to evolve.” And he’s right. Stagnation? There are few things that are more hazardous than that, chile.
And you know what? The cool thing about all of these statements about evolution is they are reminders that in order to evolve as a person, you must DO SOMETHING, and some of those things aren’t going to be easy. Know what else? To evolve is not some instantaneous thing. Remember, the definition of the word uses “gradual” and gradual means “taking place, changing, moving, etc., by small degrees or little by little.”
This speaks to having the mindset that setting short-term goals is a great form of evolution, taking baby steps is a great form of evolution, and committing to the fact that even if you don’t “sprint forward,” you will definitely not turn back — that is also a great form of evolution.
And when you do these things, consistently so, in time, without pressuring yourself or stressing yourself out, you will notice maturation, growth, results, progress, and personal transformation. PRESSURE DOESN’T DO THIS…CONSISTENCY DOES.
There’s one more thing that I want you to catch before closing this out…
Do Your Best in Your Steps…Then Wait to See How It All Turns Out
GiphyA word that I’m personally applying in 2025: RELAX.
I have a sweatshirt that salutes Whitley Gilbert and the saying that she actually got from her therapist, which was played by Debbie Allen: “Relax. Relate. Release.” One of my favorite verses in Scripture is the Message Version of Jude 1:2: “Relax, everything’s going to be all right; rest, everything’s coming together; open your hearts, love is on the way!”
And, in the Book of the Bible one of my favorite characters in the Bible, Ruth, there is something that her mother-in-law Naomi says that fits in really well with all of this too: “Naomi said, ‘Sit back and relax, my dear daughter, until we find out how things turn out; this man isn’t going to waste any time. Mark my words, he’s going to get everything wrapped up today.’” (Ruth 3:18 — Message) This is what Naomi said after Ruth did all that she could to protect and provide for her and Naomi — after doing her part, Naomi instructed Ruth to RELAX and let Boaz do his part. And he did.
“Relax” is such a wonderful word because it means to be less tense, to loosen up, to stop worrying, to rest more, and to be open to making some modifications from time to time. Relaxation is calming. Relaxation helps you to be in the moment. Relaxation also helps you to be flexible and to adapt — and y’all, if you’re serious about evolving, you need all of that in your psyche to make that happen as well.
As I used to say fairly often: once all of the ingredients have been put into making chocolate chip cookies and you put them into the stove, like it or not, you’ve got to let the stove do its job. And y’all, like it or not, time plays a huge role in evolution — and so, once you’ve done your part and your best, the best thing that you can then do is relax: release who or what is hindering your evolution. Chill out, so that you can receive love from a healthier place.
And, as Bruce Lee once said, “Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle, and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”
Do you see how evolution and relaxation are BFFs? Taking gradual steps (evolution) is a form of self-compassion (check out “12 Ways To Be Far More Self-Compassionate Every Day”) because it teaches you to be gentle, realistic, and patient with yourself while on your life’s road. Relaxation is a form of self-love because it reminds you to pause and refuel so that you can continue on your life’s journey. And both of them work together to remind you that, after doing your part, you need to allow other people, places, things, and ideas to come into play. Beautiful.
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And that is why, instead of driving yourself, unnecessarily up the wall with resolutions, I recommend just purposing in your mind, heart, and spirit to EVOLVE this year. If you take it seriously, if you do it daily, and you add some intentional and consistent relaxing along the way, by the end of this 2025 cycle…you may be mind-blown by how much you have grown…matured…blossomed. How much progress was made, how much you released, and what ended up materializing.
How much you absolutely did, in some ways, without even noticing it…EVOLVE.
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So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
Luckily, there are some things that you can do to either speed up the healing process of a cold or make having one more bearable than usual. Things that are affordable, all-natural, and easy to incorporate into your daily routine.
Are you ready to know how to nip a damn cold in the bud…before you even get one?
Here ya go.
1. Fire Cider
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Two drinks that I am gonna drink all the way down, each and every fall season, are hot chocolate and apple cider (that’s warmed up). So, when I read about something called “fire cider,” it absolutely caught my attention. If you’re not familiar with it, fire cider is a homemade drink that consists of things like apple cider vinegar, herbs and other ingredients that are specifically designed to boost your immune system.
I won’t lie to you — since some of the traditional recipes contain things like onion and garlic (sulfur has potent medicinal properties) and sometimes even hot peppers (which help to clear up congestion) — although fire cider might not be your favorite as far as your palate is concerned, the viruses (because there are reportedly somewhere around 200 of ‘em) that cause colds will lose a lot of their impact if you drink this; and that makes it worth a shot — well, swallow. Some fire cider recipes can be found here, here and here.
2. Probiotics
A few years ago, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “80% Of Your Immunity Is In Your Gut. Take Care Of It Like This.” — and that alone should explain why and how a probiotic can help to prevent colds and make it easier to get over them. The reality is that a healthy gut is what helps to monitor how your immune system reacts and responds to harmful pathogens that may try and get into your system, including ones that cause the common cold.
And since probiotics feed your gut with “good bacteria,” this gives your gut the ability to be better (and quicker) at fighting off the bad. So yeah, take a probiotic — all of the time and definitely while you have a cold. It helps.
3. Peppermint (or Eucalyptus) Oil
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Although I rarely get sick (praise the Lord!), when I do catch a cold, I think what I hate the most is not being able to comfortably breathe. Well, something that is proven to help with that is peppermint essential oil. That’s because it contains properties that act as a natural decongestant as well as a fever reducer. Another essential oil that can hook you up in this department is eucalyptus oil. It’s bomb because it helps to soothe a nagging cough, it can clear up chest congestion and ultimately makes it easier to breathe.
So, before turning in at night, either mix a few drops of one (or both) of these oils with a carrier oil like grapeseed, avocado or jojoba, warm it up for 10 seconds in the microwave and apply it to the sides of your nose or on your best or back. Or put the oil in a diffuser. It can quickly ease cold-related symptoms while also making it so much easier for you to rest (which is something else your body needs to get over a cold; more on that in a sec).
4. Zinc Lozenges
Zinc is a mineral that helps to keep your immune system healthy and strong — and since a weakened immunity is directly connected to having more colds (2-4 a year is considered to be “normal,” by the way), it’s always a good idea to have some zinc in your body. As it relates to colds, specifically, aside from the fact that zinc can help you from catching one to begin with, there are also studies which say that sucking on zinc lozenges can help to shorten the timespan of a cold as well.
To be fair, some people have said that zinc lozenges make them feel nauseated; however, everything has its pros and cons and so, how would you know if you’re one of these folks unless you try it? Oh, and while we are on this topic, there are also zinc supplements and foods that are high in zinc (like red meat, lentils, hemp seeds, cashews and quinoa) if you want to try and get more zinc into your system that way (although lozenges are gonna be your best bet on the shortening tip; just sayin’).
5. Foods Rich in Vitamin C
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Speaking of foods that can fight a cold, out of all of what you’ve read here, probably what you are quite familiar with is the fact that vitamin C and colds are mortal enemies. In fact, one pretty significant study says that by taking one gram of vitamin C a day during a cold, you can reduce the severity of your symptoms by as much as 15 percent.
That’s because vitamin C is packed with antioxidants, it helps to reduce bodily inflammation and it helps to strengthen your immunity too. Foods that are full of vitamin C include chili and yellow peppers, kale, kiwi, papaya, broccoli, kale and citrus fruits.
6. Elderberry Tea
If you’re someone who likes to put preserves on your biscuits or toast, have you ever tried one that is made from elderberries (recipe here)? It’s actually pretty good — and good for you because elderberries are high in vitamin C, fiber and antioxidants. And that is why they are great whenever you are trying to hurry up and get over a cold because they also contain properties that are literally antiviral — and since a cold is a virus…well, there you have it.
One of the best ways to get elderberries into your system? Elderberry tea. If you add honey to it, honey can help to shorten symptoms like a stuffy nose, sore throat and cough by 1-2 days. Very cool.
7. REST
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Did you know that even one day of not getting the sleep that you need to weaken your immune system and increase bodily inflammation at the same time too? That’s because one of the benefits of a good night’s rest is it rejuvenates and recharges your system, so that your immunity can work at its optimal level.
Not only that but, according to science, if you already have a cold, getting plenty of rest can benefit you on a few different levels as well. First, your cytokines (proteins that boost your immunity) are released when you sleep.
Second, your body temperature elevates enough to kill some of the bacteria and viruses that are making you sick. Finally, sleep provides you with the energy that you need in order to get through the day while you are healing from your sickness. So, if you want to get through your cold ASAP, be intentional about getting as much rest as you possibly can.
BONUS: A Humidifier
When you get a chance, please check out “10 Really Good Reasons To Get Yourself A Humidifier This Fall”. There really are all kinds of solid reasons to invest in a humidifier around this time of the year — and one of them is to make getting through the cold (and flu) season so much easier for you. Since humidifiers bring moisture into the air, that can help to loosen up congestion, soothe an irritated throat, decrease coughing, help with the healing process of respiratory infections and it can help you to sleep better — so that you can get past your cold sooner.
So, if you don’t already have a humidifier, cop one ASAP. Your future colds will absolutely hate that you did. LOL. For a list of some highly recommended humidifiers that are currently on the market, click here.
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