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How Melissa Kimble Spun A Hashtag Into An Invaluable Platform For #blkcreatives
On any given day of the week, the #blkcreatives network can be found bridging the gap between black creatives and their goals.
But its founder Melissa Kimble never envisioned she would ignite a community that currently connects over 45,000 people across social media. Fresh out of college, it was hard enough for the brains behind the hashtag to land a writing gig at a magazine or newspaper.
Her love for all things creative had humble beginnings when Melissa was no older than 12. During a cleaning day in her grandmother's home, Melissa stumbled across a box flooded with The Source, Vibe, and XXL magazines, which more than likely belonged to her brother who had just moved out. Having had no concept of hip-hop journalism, she pored over words penned by Danyel Smith to Kim Osorio. "This is someone's job to put this together?" she thought as she moved from cover to cover.
While Melissa always had a flair for reading and writing, thanks to her single mom placing books in her hands when she was merely two, this was different. "Finding those magazines and seeing how the music I was listening to on the radio was being turned into stories was the moment that I discovered my natural love for print," she reminisces. "It opened up a whole new world for me."
"It opened up a whole new world for me."
During our morning call, the Chicago native sounds as bright as the sunlight piercing through my window. "I've been feeling very clear this week," she tells me at the dawn of our conversation, miles from one of the lowest moments of her life.
In May 2009, Melissa's job hunt unraveled into a series of no's as she prepared to cross the stage at the University of Tennessee at Martin. "At that time, trying to go into media seemed impossible," she reflects.
With the Great Recession gnawing at her childhood dreams and communications degree, the recent grad landed face down in defeat at a FedEx center in Memphis. "Having a degree and then immediately having to go throw boxes just to make money was humbling in hindsight but super difficult [at the time]," she explains.
As a means to keep her pen afloat, Melissa dabbled in celebrity news and gossip in her spare time but was ultimately unfulfilled. "It stretched my muscle, but over time, I got tired of contributing to that particular conversation and wanted to find a way to tell stories," she maintains. "I felt like I wasn't doing that."
After lending her talent to several sites, developing her own space online came to mind as early as 2010. Since she couldn't keep her phone on her during FedEx shifts, Melissa would scribble her ideas on paper and tuck them away for later review. As a bookworm, she contemplated interviewing black authors about their latest titles until a larger vision crept into view. "Given where I was in my life, it was so important for me to see examples of people who had created their own lane or career out of nothing," she muses.
From there, My Creative Connection was born.
When she launched her blog in 2012, Melissa panned to self-starting women like relationships guru Demetria Lucas and digital influencer Christina S. Brown before zooming in on men as well. One year later, she was listed among the "Top 14 Empowering & Inspiring Black Women to Follow Online in 2013."
Despite the traction, Melissa admits she was "off and on" with her project for three years before hitting her stride. Her skills began to tilt towards social media, she explains.
It started with Twitter chats. She had participated in a few, but soon realized they weren't curated with black creatives in mind. "I always feel like there are two different conversations going on in this world: one where the conversation is being controlled by the media and the government and what they want us to see, and then there's the conversations that we are having with each other and with ourselves that are necessary for the mainstream to see, and I felt like the latter part was missing from social media," Melissa expresses.
"I felt like the latter part was missing from social media."
In response to that void, she launched My Creative Connection's first Twitter chat in April 2015. Driven by four guests, including Black Actress creator Andrea Lewis, the exchange on "Owning Your Creativity" lured a number of eyes. "People kept asking, 'When's the next one?'" Melissa describes the demand for more. "There was nobody else online who looked like us doing Twitter chats, so we were able to really capitalize off of that."
By the fifth chat, she adopted the name #blkcreatives from a friend, which marked a definitive chapter for her platform.
With each discussion, the hashtag swelled into a network that, to date, reaches tens of thousands.
The success of #blkcreatives catches Melissa off guard at times, but she's aware it didn't manifest by accident. "We found this lane where we're like the creative's best friend or thought partner," the social media strategist explains. "We have this energy around us that's really personable and open, very informative but with a heart and mission for service, and I feel people can feel that when they come in contact with the network."
Scroll their Twitter page, and you'll spot plenty sharing their intentions for the week, revisiting their wins for the month, and holding themselves accountable for where they fall short. There are tons of job opportunities to mull over too, but Melissa insists, "You can't pour from an empty cup. You have to take care of yourself in order to take care of business."
"You can't pour from an empty cup. You have to take care of yourself in order to take care of business."
It was through a chance encounter at a networking event that the digital maven landed a job at Ebony in December 2015, but had she not done "the inner work," chances are she wouldn't have left much of a mark as their onetime senior social media manager.
The moment she accepted the position, she knew she wanted to dig through the magazine's archives, which spanned 70 years of black history and culture. Under the direction of then Editor-In-Chief Kierna Mayo (whose words she once marveled over as an aspiring writer), Melissa unearthed classic Ebony covers to establish "On This Day" features. When she commemorated the 44th anniversary of Sanford and Son's premiere, her post reached over one million people on Facebook within 24 hours, a rare feat for the publication at the time.
Looking back at how she fueled Ebony's visibility, she cites more than doubling their social media following as a standout accomplishment. "I'm most happy that I was able to take a legacy brand and make it relevant on a daily basis online," she shares.
Before she could ring in a second year at the magazine, however, Melissa and much of her team were laid off in May 2017 as #EbonyOwes became a trending topic on the web. "A lot of what the public was finding out at the time, I was finding out as well," she recalls, referencing the dozens of freelancers who accused the company of nonpayment last year.
The sudden dismissal left Melissa upset and lost yet, ultimately, relieved. "I say this as a person of faith, but I definitely feel like it was God getting us off the Titanic before it sunk," she reflects.
"I definitely feel like it was God getting us off the Titanic before it sunk."
She had already been searching for new opportunities, which sparked a move to New York less than a month later, but credits #blkcreatives for seeing her through the unexpected. Between words of support and regular job leads, Melissa felt far from alone. "I was able to tap into my own community to help myself," she says, pointing to the value of the network she built. "It's definitely tested (laughs)."
Today, Melissa is helping Vibe veteran Mimi Valdes build her digital platform Kaleido Beauty all while managing social media for co-working space Dream Village and Sanaia Applesauce. Ask her how she does it all, and she'll list daily prayer and meditation as life changers. "I always try to make sure I'm putting myself first," she explains, adding that she's intentional about meeting her physical and emotional needs. If she could use help along the way, she won't mince words either. "Up until now, I've thought of balance as a solo effort when, really, it can be a group effort," she affirms.
As for the future of #blkcreatives, Melissa has set her sights beyond the Internet in more ways than one. She imagines she'll start an official nonprofit that will inspire black creatives to give back to youth through literacy and tech within the next three years. In the meantime, her team has launched a $5,000 fundraiser in support of Children of Promise, a Brooklyn organization dedicated to breaking the cycle of intergenerational incarceration.
In deep thought on the limitless possibilities for her network, she also reveals hopes of maturing into a digital marketing agency, cementing an annual conference, and hosting events in an effort to make a fuller impact on visionaries across the country.
"It's not just about one person," Melissa ensures. "I could've easily slipped my personal brand in front of #blkcreatives and allow that to elevate me higher than I am now, but it's never been about that. #blkcreatives is really about the community, and I think that shows in everything that we do."
For more Melissa, follow her on Instagram. You can also check out #blkcreatives by using their hashtag and following them on Instagram too.
- From Passion Project to National Platform for Young Black Creatives ›
- About Me — Melissa Kimble ›
- Melissa Kimble - Creator - #blkcreatives | LinkedIn ›
- #blkcreatives - Where #blkcreatives Unite. ›
- My Creative Connection - Where #BlkCreatives Unite. ›
- Melissa Kimble (@melissa_kimble) • Instagram photos and videos ›
Shanice Davis is a writer from New York, dedicated to illuminating women of color and Caribbean culture with her pen. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter: @alwayshanice.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
The Common Denominator Is You. So, Why Do You Keep Choosing The Wrong Men?
Everywhere you go, there you are. It’s one of those popular sayings (kind of like “It is what it is”) that I find myself using a lot, especially when I’m in sessions with my clients. Why? Well, it’s kind of likean article that I once read that pretty much said our culture likes to play the toxic game of blaming other people because it’s an easy way to deflect from personal accountability (check out “What It Actually Means To 'Hold Yourself Accountable'”). So true, so true,
Well, another way of saying “everywhere you go, there you are” is using the math term “common denominator” — and today, what we’re going to attempt to tackle is, why is it that some of us, if we stepped back a moment to take a very real and honest assessment of our dating life, do we always end up with the same kind of guy? One who really isn’t the best for us; sometimes, not even close.
Before getting into some questions that I think can help you get to the answer, let me just say that this is definitely one of the kinds of pieces that may step on at least your pinky toe before it’s all said and done. At the same time, although this might not be the most comfortable of reads, keep in mind what the late poet, singer, and publisher Tuli Kupferberg once said, “When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.”
And so, if when it comes to the caliber of men you’ve dated, what you’ve been doing is revealing that your pattern is not really working for your ultimate good, spend a bit of time trying to unpack just why that could be the case — why, at the end of the day, you truly are the common denominator in it all.
How Self-Aware Are You?
About five years ago, I penned an article for the site entitled “These Are The Things Self-Aware People Do Daily.” You know, of all of the things to be in this life, prioritizing self-awareness is king because self-aware people do things like hold themselves accountable, know their strengths and weaknesses, identify their triggers, have good boundaries, self-reflect, pay attention to their own “blind spots” — and they can — eh hem — take feedback and constructive criticism pretty well.
That last one? If you’re constantly in a hamster wheel or even a cul-de-sac when it comes to men, be honest with yourself: did your family, friends, hell, even your co-workers warn you about some of the guys you dated, and you found yourself either defending, deflecting or getting offended? Yeah, self-aware people don’t get down like that because they would rather have peace and be wrong than act like they are always right and remain in chaos.
So yeah, if you’re always in some foolishness or even in relationships that are simply a counterproductive waste of time, pondering how self-aware you actually are is a really good place to start. Self-reflect. Know your weaknesses. Listen to what others have to say about your tendencies. All of this can do you a whole lot of good.
How Humble Are You?
Society is a wild place, boy. The reason why I say that is because, while it’s out here acting like humility is a bad thing, Scripture says, “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.” (Proverbs 22:4) And why is humility such a vital spiritual attribute? Because, when you’re humble — you’re grateful; you’re teachable; you’re open to seeing things outside of your own perspective; you’re compassionate and empathetic; you’re flexible; you’re forgiving, and you’re able to release your ego so that you can accept what you need over what you want.
What you need over what you want. Chile, if that doesn’t keep some people in cyclic stuff, I honestly don’t know what does. There’s a client that I have right now who only contacts me when she’s basically blown up her life because she constantly gets caught up in a man’s looks and bedroom performance. When I tell her that she needs to stop making that #1 and #2 of things to look for in a relationship, she “uh-huh's” me and then does what she wants to do anyway — only for it to end up wreaking all sorts of havoc…again.
It’s another message for another time about how some of us could stand to look within to see if wanting a fine man above all else is more about validating some deep-rooted insecurities that we have about our own looks (ouch). For now, I’ll just say that if your ego is out here telling you that looks and sexual performance should trump things like character and consistency, it is LYING to you. If you chose to heed the humble side of yourself, you would know that.
And this actually brings me to my next question.
How Stuck Are You in Your “Type”?
The reason why I wrote “According To Experts, We All Have A ‘Type’” back in the day is because it’s true — pretty much all of us have a type which is pretty much a preference; there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that either. At the same time, I’m advising, from very up close and personal experience, that it’s a good idea to spend some time pondering “the origin story” of where your type came from.
Me? I’m always gonna be down for a very tall, hella chocolate, basketball (or soccer) build Black man. However, I’m a sexual abuse survivor and my molester looked a lot like that, so during the healing process of what he did to me, I had to factor in his influence. Plus, my first love also fits the physical mold and he definitely had quite an impact on my life. So…see what I mean? My type didn’t just come out of nowhere. Yes, sometimes your type may have some trauma or drama attached to it. And yes, that might be really uncomfortable to think about; still, that doesn’t mean it’s not true.
Now my late fiancé? He was right at about 6’ and, complexion-wise, he was lighter than I am. He treated me better than most of the men of my past, though — and even though he definitely pursued me for a while to get me to consider us beyond being friends, because I took a risk outside of my type, I learned what it was like to be loved in a healthy way. And what that did for me was it taught me to remain open outside of my standard type. I still like a tall-ass Godiva man, chile (and don’t let him have a beard and be in a tailored suit!). I don’t limit myself to that package, though. To do so would be severely limiting — potentially tragic even.
How Healed Are You?
“Healed” is a word that comes up A LOT in the social media space. When it comes to relationships, specifically, it’s important to ask yourself if you are healed from your past because, if you aren’t, you very well could be reliving it over and over…and over again, whether you realize it (or choose to accept it) or not.
Just so that we’re all on the same page, the word “heal” means things like healthy, sound, and whole. Synonyms for the word include improve, restore, mend, soothe, and rehabilitate. Signs that you have healed from past hurts of a relationship (or a series of relationships) include you don’t think of them with anger or bitterness; you can see the silver linings from the experience; you’ve forgiven them for things that they did wrong (or that simply hurt you — and no, that’s not always one and the same), and you don’t pick (or avoid) other people to be in your life solely based on what someone else did to you.
What I mean by that last one is an unhealed woman may say something like, “I don’t want to do [such and such] for a first date. That’s what my ex liked to do.” The new guy isn’t him, so why does he have to be beholden to your past? Or, “I don’t trust men who won’t let me go through their phone. That’s how I found out my ex was cheating.” You know, for all of the women who like to play a non-animated form ofInspector Gadget (the real ones know), they sure don’t want their phones inspected as much as they like to do all of the inspecting. SMDH. Anyway, I don’t go through phones. For what? I don’t pay the bill and I’m not anyone’s parent. And so, your next guy not preferring it either? That doesn’t automatically mean that he’s up to no good — he may just want his boundaries respected. An unhealed person may not accept that. A healed one tends to, though.
And how can being unhealed play a direct role in you choosing the same guys over and over again? It’s weird because, sometimes you will go back to what’s familiar to you — because the new guy is such a risk, you’d prefer to “stick to the devil you know” than take a chance on someone who rolls very differently. It’s a cryptic way of remaining the common denominator in your dating dynamics. Oh, but it happens all of the time, chile.
What Makes a Man WRONG for You? Specifically?
Okay, with a lot of the inner work out of the way, how do you even come to the conclusion that someone (or several people) is wrong for you? Because you know what? Once you’ve done some real healing (and serious maturing), you can oftentimes find yourself accepting the fact that just because someone may not be right for you, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. No, not at all.
Although the word “wrong” can mean that something or someone isn’t morally right, wrong also means things like erroneous, not suitable or appropriate, not in accordance with certain requirements, or — and please catch it — out of order (which sometimes consists of the right thing happening at the wrong time). So, if it does seem like you keep choosing (because it is always a choice; that is also where accountability comes in) men who aren’t appropriate, aren’t in accordance with your needs or standards, or who aren’t what you need at the time — why is that? Is it rooted in fear? Impatience? Settling? What?
I have had enough clients go through this to know that it’s not good enough to be abstract about someone being “wrong” for you. You need to set aside one weekend, get some wine and a fresh journal, and really get into what wrong looks like. For instance, if you keep lowering your standards (which is the wrong thing to do, by definition), why is that? Because no matter how wrong the guy may ultimately turn out to be, what you have to be willing to accept is — again — you chose him. Why do you choose what’s wrong? Because, more times than not, some red (or at least orange) flags were waving long before the relationship came crashing down; oftentimes, they reveal themselves within the first couple of dates. You just chose to ignore them.
One more.
Do You Know a Good Man When You See One? You Sure?
As we close all of this out, when you get a chance, please check out “Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?” Learning the difference between “to” and “for” took my own relational processing to an entirely new and freeing level. And you know what? Back to the healing point, another way to know that you’ve healed is you don’t generalize men. Meaning, that if you’re out here declaring that there aren’t any good ones, that’s not true; you’re just jaded (I mean, it’s the truth), and that head and energy space is affecting your judgment and perspective.
That said, if you’re constantly selecting the wrong men, ask yourself if you even know what a good man looks like (cue India.Arie’s “Good Man”). Again, by definition, good means things like morally excellent, right, kind, friendly, benevolent, educated, financially sound (not rich, stable and responsible…goodness), genuine, reliable, dependable, responsible, attractive, warm, intimate — satisfactory to the purpose (yes, that’s a literal definition).
For a man to be good for you, you need to know what purpose he is to serve at this particular point in your life because if, for example, all men seem to do, in your eyes, is use you for sex, why are you prioritizing sex over an emotional connection if the latter is the purpose that you seek right now? A lot of women can stop being the common denominator when it comes to choosing the wrong man if they 1) become the good that they seek and 2) do not betray the purpose behind why they even desire a relationship in the first place.
____
I know. When things aren’t going your way when it comes to matters of the heart, it can be easy to always say it’s the man’s fault. If there’s a pattern, though, please be a bit more self-reflective than that.
Once you do, you’d be amazed by how much about you shifts — to where the wrong guys can’t even get close to you, in the way that they used to, anymore.
Because you cease to be the “common denominator” you once were.
And how wonderful is that?
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