May is a month of healing. Although we are still in the midst of Eclipse Season, the energy is grounding this month with Taurus Season underway, and some significant changes are happening in the sky. On the 1st of the month, Pluto goes retrograde, and this is the first Pluto retrograde since Pluto entered Aquarius earlier this year. Pluto retrograde is all about finding your power, not letting change intimidate you, and finding the beauty and inspiration within change. Jupiter will be in retrograde until December 30, and many people will be finding their way and soul purpose.
On May 5th, the second eclipse of 2023 happens, and it’s a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Scorpio. This is a powerful and impactful eclipse, and its energy overall is about finding your power, allowing breakthroughs, and letting go of the chaos. This eclipse is closing a chapter and creating the space for a new beginning. Venus moves into Cancer a few days later, on May 7th, and over the next few weeks, love takes on a sweeter, more emotional tone, and Venus in Cancer is all about feeling things through. Relationships that are meant to be will be becoming clearer than ever, and Venus in Cancer is not afraid to love, so you can expect more displays of affection, nurturing, and care during this time.
Mercury has been retrograde in Taurus since April 21st and officially goes direct on May 14th. Once Mercury is out of retrograde motion, the latter half of the month will be a more grounded experience, and less communication and financial delays are likely. Mercury retrograde has been highlighting the loose ends within plans and a sense of security in life and allowing more beneficial and stable paths and opportunities to appear. Jupiter also enters Taurus on May 16th but will be here until May 25, 2024. Jupiter in Taurus impacts finances, relationships, love, and value systems. During this transit, stability, logic, patience, and dedication is favored, and Jupiter will be sharing a little more love and financial growth with the world.
Before Gemini Season begins on May 21st, the fixed signs continue their monthly debut, and there is a New Moon in Taurus on May 19th, and Mars enters Leo on May 20th. The universe wants to shed some light on opportunity this month and how much better life can really get. There is passion, growth, and empowerment blooming in May, and it’s not the time to be rigid in perspective or stance. Know that you are worthy of being seen, loved, and valued.
ARIES
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleIn May, you are opening up to love, Aries. This is the month to address any feelings or emotions that you have been putting on the back burner and to not be afraid to open up to others. Love is a strength, not a weakness, don’t ever forget that, Aries. The eclipse at the start of the month will be wrapping things up for you and helping you see clearly what is going to benefit your health, well-being, and heart.
A long-term transit begins for you this month, and that is Jupiter moving into Taurus and into your 2nd house of income on May 16 until May 25, 2024. Jupiter is a benevolent planet, and its influence is a blessing. For you, this means good luck coming in financially, and although you do have to be a little more cautious of overspending or going to the extreme, overall, you are moving into a time of greater wealth and opportunity this month.
TAURUS
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is all about using your voice and communicating, Taurus. Your season is here, and it’s your time to show up and express yourself. You are worthy to take up space, and you are getting clarity on what paths and avenues you can do that best. Mercury has been retrograde in your sign since late April and officially goes direct on May 14th, and you can finally take a breath of fresh air this month and move forward.
May overall is about balancing your needs with the needs of those in your life.
The energy is both in your 1st house of self and in your 7th house of relationships, so you are finding the balance here this month. The most significant transit for you of 2023 happens at the end of the month, and that is Jupiter moving into your sign. You are moving into the luckiest time of your life in over a decade in May, enjoy it.
GEMINI
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a new beginning for you financially, Gemini. This is a month where you are seeing the intentions you have been setting financially and within your career world come true for you and when new doors of opportunity are opening. Your ruling planet Mercury has been in retrograde since April 21st and will finally be direct on the 14th of this month. You are getting the closure that you need right now to plan your next steps.
As the month moves forward, a New Moon is happening in your 12th house of endings and culminations, and you are healing, accepting what’s been, and letting go of what has been holding you back. Gemini Season officially begins on May 21st, and by the end of May, things are back in full swing, and you are living confidently. It’s about choosing yourself this month, Gemini.
CANCER
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is all about letting go of the past and allowing love, Cancer. You are seeing chapters close, clarity appearing, and the past being laid to rest. You are recognizing that you can’t always fix what’s broken or what needs to be let go of, and divine intervention is coming into play. At the start of the month, there is a Lunar Eclipse in your 9th house of adventure, and you are feeling free and less restricted right now.
Know that new life comes from endings and that a chapter closing in your life doesn’t mean the end of everything else.
Things are happening for you, and the universe has your back as you process. Before the month ends, lucky Jupiter moves into your 11th house of friendship, and you are entering a time of community, happiness, social life, and fulfillment. Your power of manifestation is especially strong when Jupiter is in the 11th house, and you have some good times coming over the next year.
LEO
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is bringing forth a coming together in your life, Leo. The past, present, and future are coming together as one, and you are feeling a sense of wholeness. This is a month of recognizing some of your long-term dreams and goals in life and in love and making sure your cup is full before pouring onto anyone else’s. This is the month to ask yourself if you are living the life you have envisioned for yourself, Leo.
Jupiter moves into your 10th house on May 16th, and your career life, reputation, and achievements come into clear view over the next year. You are moving into a time of more recognition in your life, but also a time of figuring out how you want to show up, go after goals, and what you want to be known for. On May 20th, Mars moves into your sign until July 10th, and you have extra energy, confidence, and passion within you over the next few months. The power is in your hands right now, Leo. What do you want to do with it?
VIRGO
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a successful month for you, Virgo. You are moving into financial blessings and support and feeling like you have everything you need surrounding you this month. This is a good time to value yourself, your people, and how far you have come in life. You are reaching some important goals financially in May, and it’s allowing you to enjoy your life more and figure out where you want to go from here.
The Lunar Eclipse happening at the beginning of the month is when you are starting to see things come to fruition for you.
Not only does your ruling planet Mercury go direct this month after being in retrograde since April, but Jupiter is also entering this same area of your chart in May, and you are moving into a year-long journey of adventure, travel, charisma, inspiration, and direction. Jupiter will be in your 9th house until May 2024, and this is a good time to knock off your bucket list and explore the world.
LIBRA
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecolePatience, patience, patience, Libra! This month is about watching out for impulses and thinking things through before continuing forward. Miscommunication or disagreements are more likely in May, and extra precaution is needed. Overall, this month is allowing you to find your sense of freedom without disrupting the things you have going on and the people that are there to support you.
With a Lunar Eclipse happening in the sign just after yours this month, you are moving through some closures in May, but they have been long overdue in your life and are facilitating your healing journey. These culminations you are moving through this month are allowing you to see some things more clearly and to define the person you are or want to be. May is your opportunity to set things straight and to get some things in order.
SCORPIO
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a month of deep healing for you, Scorpio. You have been going through a lot over the past year or so, and you are asking yourself now if the light at the end of the tunnel will be appearing anytime soon. In May, you are addressing some more challenges that need to be seen so that you can let go of any resentment or disappointments that have been disrupting your progress and happiness.
The second eclipse of 2023 happens this month, and it’s a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in your sign.
You are experiencing a big growth moment in May, and it’s overall creating a much-needed breakthrough in your life. Another significant transit is happening this month, and that is Jupiter, the planet of luck, moving into your 7th house of love from May 16th until May 2024. The work you have been doing is finally being recognized, and you enter a time of romance, connection, and commitment.
SAGITTARIUS
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a month of commitment, direction, and beginning something new. You are breaking free from previous miscommunication challenges and removing roadblocks from your life. This is a month where you are seeing things clearly, and ready to communicate what you know. With the Sun in your 6th house for most of May, you are cleaning house, getting things in order, and focusing on your well-being, Sagittarius.
Moving further into the month, Jupiter enters your 6th house, where all the energy has been the past month, but this time, Jupiter will be here for a year. Over the next year, your working life, health, and daily routine are moving through a healing journey and are receiving some extra support. You are letting go of what isn’t for your highest good and doing the things that are not only going to benefit you right now but in the long haul as well.
CAPRICORN
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleSuccess is yours, and you are accomplishing goals this month, Capricorn. May is about receiving the recognition you have been looking for, for the work you have been putting in. Even though there are some extra responsibilities on your plate at this time of the year, you are feeling capable of it all and proud of the position you are finding yourself in this month.
Financially, there is a lot of growth occurring for you this month, and some pleasant surprises are in store for you right now.
With the planet of good luck, Jupiter, entering your 5th house of romance for the next year or so, you also enter a new journey of love this month. Jupiter in your 5th house is facilitating happiness in your life, and you can expect to receive a little extra love during this time. You are feeling in tune, prepared, and inspired by what is occurring for you this month, and your energy is grounded enough to receive the blessings that are coming to you.
AQUARIUS
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is an impactful month for you, Aquarius. Through the ups and downs you have been moving through in life, they have only made you stronger and wiser, and May is a month of reminding yourself that you are enough. Pluto entered your sign this year after being in Capricorn for almost two decades and officially entered your sign this year. On May 1st, Pluto goes retrograde in Aquarius, and you are taking a step back and looking at the path that is opening up to you more clearly.
May is all about seeing your part in what has been playing out for you and also creating necessary boundaries between the people who are making things more difficult for you than they need to be. Choose your battles wisely, and consider making peace with yourself and others this month. Jupiter enters your 4th house before May ends, and a move, family dynamics changing, and emotional growth are all more likely for you over the next year.
PISCES
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a pleasant surprise for you, Pisces. Love is taking on a new tone, and new doors are opening for you here. This is the month to take those first steps and welcome a new beginning in your life so that you can move forward into your dreams more freely. The eclipse happening at the beginning of the month on the 5th is happening in a romantic, loving, and joyful area of your chart, and you are feeling the love that you have been looking for in your life.
You have been on a deep healing journey this year, as Saturn entered your sign a few months ago.
More focus has been on you, your personal growth, and your sense of stability in life, and with Jupiter entering your 3rd house in May, you are facilitating communication breakthroughs in your life. If there is anything you have wanted to say to someone, this is the month and the year to do it, as you are especially supported when it comes to self-expression and connection right now.
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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