
'Hustlers': Confessions Of A Former Stripper Who Hustled Investment Bankers Day & Night

"This whole country is a strip club. Someone's dancing, someone's throwing the money." - 'Hustlers', 2019
I worked for investment bankers during the day then hustled them at night. If you've recently seen the movie Hustlers, just know that I worked in that exact kind of club environment. I now spend a great deal of time in the capital of New Jersey. It's a tiny township that was devastated by the 2008 financial crisis. It doesn't look like it ever recovered in 2019. Did the big corporations ever get brought to justice for ravaging an entire country? They did not.
It was the early aughts. I was fresh out of my fancy university with two degrees. Being a young performer in NY meant having many flexible jobs. A "culturally ambiguous" name to put on a resume and training in Linklater standard American speech didn't hurt. The look on their faces at the big banks when I walked in was always priceless. As a temp, I was Executive Assistant to C-Suite Executives in several of the big banks in NY. In old New York, the degrees allowed me to learn well as a young, single person.
As a young woman in corporate America, I was often ignored or spoken to with insolence.
People would have entire conversations as if I was transparent, filled with details that I should not have been privy to. Apparently, I was invisible unless I was being patronized by men in the higher positions. In response to one particular boss, initially, I'd just do things like forget to make his travel plans until the last minute. Eventually, I reported him to HR. Finally, I emphatically informed him that I was more educated than he was and even if I was not, I deserved to be treated with respect like a person. Then, I quit.
At night, letting almost everything they said slide off was the gig. It can be hard to constantly have the proverbial smile and nod while simultaneously avoiding being touched beyond your boundaries. Shape shift, life of the party, flirt, sift cash from pockets, shimmy, wash (or baby wipe) and repeat. If the way these men spent on corporate accounts was any indication of how they conducted business in general, I see why we went into recession.
Even paying for a stripper's time, the high of having a life that meant you could have anything that money could buy, seemed like their real addiction. Masters of the Universe who hounded their assistants to get reimbursed for lavish "business dinners at steakhouses". They spent money like it wasn't real every night and I got to be rushed to finish expense account reimbursements. Unlike my assertive real-life self, my stripper persona was whatever it needed to be to make the most money. It's not as easy as showing up, getting naked, and going home with bags full of cash. Although, as if invisible, I'd hear conversations about business deals I'm sure I shouldn't hear. I wasn't there to be acknowledged. I didn't care. I was there to work.
At the end of a good night at the club, I felt properly compensated for my labor. At the end of a bad night at the club (leaving owing money to the club), I'd question every life decision I ever made. But every single morning without fail, I'd cry in the bathroom stall before heading to my cubicle. I'd grin and bear my day away. It was made extremely clear about my low rung on the corporate ladder. I stopped temping in Corporate America. I chased good nights in clubs for a decade instead. I, too, left my upstanding job.
Hustlers did a great job of showing the backstories of the women. How does a nice girl like you end up in a place like this? Because America is a place where you can work forty hours a week and not be able to pay all your bills. Every one of us has a unique life story. Hustlers shows that strippers don't just exist in a vacuum of spandex, stilettos and stages. People seldom consider the life of someone in sex work beyond the stigma, judgement of morals and the fact that they get some level of naked for a living. When I heard that the film hired the lovely Jacq the Stripper as a consultant, I was excited! She's someone who has actually done the job and speaks up for sex worker rights quite audibly. There are nuances that feel like inside jokes only other strippers will get. That gave the movie a nice authentic touch.
Then, watching the interview on 20/20 with the real life hustler, I hear that the story was made despite Destiny (played in the film by Constance Wu) turning down a lowball deal to sell the rights to her life story. This is how marginalized and stigmatized groups become silenced and made invisible. To profit from the lives of these women without permission or compensation falls right in line with experiences women have when working in the mainstream culture at large.
Asserting myself in corporate America gets me fired (or quitting first). Submitting to an exoticized fantasy of myself gets me paid well. However, the true value of the whole human is never acknowledged. A filmmaker can be shouting women's empowerment while simultaneously silently stealing from the same women she's profiting from.
I love that there is finally a strip flick that goes beyond the stereotypical telling of the industry. I'd also be lying if I said that I don't love a good underdog-getting-over-on-the-man story as well. In the end the "bad guys" get their due. However, it should not be lost that the women whose lives Hollywood is profiting from will now have to hustle to get properly compensated for their own life stories in other ways, if at all. Destiny is working on her memoir. If the others don't create a way to leverage this moment, they get nothing from this theft. According to The-numbers.com, Hustlers has made $66,260,645 nationally, $9,800,000 internationally and $76,060,645 worldwide in box offices [at the time this article was written]. Payback? Do the masterminds of this crime spree deserve to be compensated for a film about it?
I frequent a community that is filled with abandoned houses, neighborhoods devastated by unchecked and unpunished criminal-level corporate greed. Would you be mad that someone got to keep their house because their stripper loved one paid it off? Like Destiny in the film, many of us have the ten-year gap on our resumes. Are you hiring someone with a ten-year lapse in work experience? I haven't danced for about a decade but consultant after business consultant has warned me not to talk about my stripping past. In 2019, shame and stigma are weapons of legalized discrimination towards certain groups.
Stipppers and sex workers like, returning citizens, like sexual assault survivors, like those managing mental health, like immigrants, Native Americans and the LGBTQIA community (especially Black trans women), all exist in this world. It can feel like living on the outside looking in as society happens all around you.
Hooray for making a film where strippers are people, complex and flawed as all people typically are. But do better not to take advantage of people who are not in positions of power. There's no way to make drugging and stealing from people justifiable. There's also no way to make the greed-fueled capitalism that sunk this country in 2008 and continues to run this country today, defensible. There's no way punishing one and not the other could ever possibly be right. Hustlers film should duly compensate both the women whose lives this is about, dancers they did research from and the displaced workers of Show Palace in Queens where the film was shot. They were out of work for two weeks.
What would be amazing is if projects like this helped to remove the stigma from stripping and sex work versus profitting from dancers like they're a diregarded co-worker in the room you condescendingly underestimate and devalue. The director of the film is now hustling backwards, claiming she'll spend money at the club whenever she is in town and will donate a percentage of the film's earnings to SWOP. All an afterthought. Reminds me of working in good ole Corporate US of A. where what you provide is useful but you are dispensable. Is the character Destiny wrong when she says: "The game is rigged and it does not reward people who play by the rules"?
As long as they don't get caught, that is.
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'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Celebrity Engagements Of 2025: All The Stars Who Locked It Down This Year (So Far!)
February might be in the rearview, but love is most definitely still in the air as the gworls are getting wifed up left and right. We love love over here at xoNecole, and 2025 is already shaping up to be a year full of celebrity engagements. Zendaya had the innanet in a chokehold when she kicked off award season flashing a stunning rock on her ring finger, and more recently, Normani announced her engagement to long-time partner DK Metcalf.
As more of our faves take that next step to saying "I do," keep reading for all the couples who got engaged in 2025. Stay tuned!
Every Celebrity Engagement of 2025 (So Far)
Normani and DK Metcalf
“Hold that rock up, baby!” That’s how DK Metcalf casually dropped the news of his engagement to singer Normani while speaking during a press conference that followed the announcement of his trade from the Seattle Seahawks to the Pittsburgh Steelers in a five-year, $150 million contract. And just like that, we all wanted in the group chat.
But before this love story led to a ring, it had to have its start. And for that, we can thank Ciara and Russell Wilson. The couple's mutual friends played matchmakers for Normani, 28, and DK, 27, bringing them together at a party for Ciara’s rum brand after DK had already manifested their love years earlier. “Me and Ciara are really close, and Russell and DK were teammates on the Seattle Seahawks,” Normani shared with Vogue.
“About two years prior to us even meeting, they were playing music videos in the locker room, and ‘Motivation’ ended up popping up on the screen. DK said, ‘The moment I saw you come up on that screen, I said, ‘That's going to be my wife.’’” At the time, Normani was in a relationship, but two years later, Ciara made sure the stars aligned. “I ended up going [to the party], and lo and behold, he ended up being there, and the rest is history.”
As for the actual proposal, DK had been planning it for over a year—initially hoping to pop the question during a family trip to Turks & Caicos. But with Normani focused on her album at the time, he decided to wait for the perfect moment. That moment came on March 12 during another family trip, this time to Houston, where he surprised her with an intimate proposal surrounded by their loved ones. To say that Normani was shocked is an understatement. “I was like, ‘Baby, you knew for over a year?’” she recalled to the publication. “To get anything past me for over a year is crazy!”
Swooning!
Winnie Harlow and Kyle Kuzma
There might be something in the water in Turks & Caicos because while DK Metcalf had dreams of proposing to Normani there, Kyle Kuzma made it happen for Winnie Harlow this past Valentine's Day. The NBA star popped the question to his longtime love in the same place they took their first baecation back in 2022, a trip that, according to Kyle, cemented his plan to propose to the fashion model one day.
The Milwaukee Bucks player went all out for the occasion, chartering a private jet decked out with roses, balloons, chocolates, and champagne, all of which Winnie assumed was just an elaborate Valentine’s Day surprise. But the real moment came when Kyle, 29, read Winnie, 30, a heartfelt poem he had written, which ended with the words, “Will you be my wife?” The 8.5-carat oval-cut engagement ring that accompanied it sealed the deal.
The couple celebrated with a dreamy beachfront dinner, fireworks lighting up the sky as Winnie held up her ring in disbelief. She later shared the news with her fans on Instagram in a post, writing “To eternity” alongside a carousel of photos capturing the magical moment.
Amber "AD" Smith and Ollie Sutherland
If you know the Love Is Blind lore, this engagement announcement is going to hit a little different. After all, AD Smith and Ollie Sutherland both made it to the altar in their respective seasons, but not with each other. Now, in a full-circle plot twist for the ages, the two reality stars found love off-screen, and they just made it official.
During the recent Love Is Blind reunion special, AD and Ollie dropped the bombshell news that they’re engaged! The couple met while filming the upcoming season of Netflix's Perfect Match, but while we don’t know all the ins and outs of how their love story began (yet!), we do know where they are now. The pair opened up more about their engagement on AD’s podcast, What’s the Reality?, while Ollie took to Instagram to hard launch their love with a collab post captioned, “THIS is how you do a hard launch! 💍 #TheSutherlands.”
After everything they’ve been through in their respective Love Is Blind journeys, AD and Ollie are proof that sometimes, love finds you when and where you least expect it. And we’re always here for a second chance at true love.
Paige Hurd and Royce O' Neal
Paige Hurd is engaged, y'all! The actress, known most recently for her work in Power Book II: Ghost, and Phoenix Suns forward Royce O’Neale are officially tying the knot following a romantic proposal in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.
Their love story feels like something straight out of a rom-com. Paige, 32, had just sworn off dating, fully focused on her faith and personal growth—then, boom, in walks Royce, 31, to change everything. “Nice as can be,” she recalled in a PEOPLE exclusive, though she initially only saw him as a friend. But Royce? He had a very different vision of who he saw her as in his life. “She was my lifelong crush,” he admitted. “A couple years ago, I told my friends, ‘One day I’ll meet her, date her, and marry her.’ Of course, they thought I was joking, but I was serious.”
Fast forward to February 13, and that longtime manifestation became reality. During an intimate oceanfront dinner at the Viceroy Riviera Maya, surrounded by candlelight and rose petals, Paige was served a slice of red velvet cake with “Will you marry me?” written on the plate. And their journey to a lifetime is only beginning.
From childhood crush to future husband, Royce spoke this love into existence. And with Paige calling him “the most thoughtful, down-to-earth, gentle man I’ve ever known,” it’s clear this is a love story written in the stars.
Jilly Anais and DeShaun Watson
Jilly Anais and her longtime love DeShaun Watson are officially engaged! The Cleveland Browns quarterback popped the question to the singer/content creator with the help of a gorgeous beachside backdrop. On March 16, the couple announced the news in a collab Instagram post, where Jilly beamed ear to ear while showing off her massive diamond ring. “Mrs. Watson loading…” she captioned the post, sending friends, fans, and NFL teammates into a frenzy.
Their love story first began in 2019 when Watson slid into Jilly’s IG DMs, and they’ve been inseparable ever since. From celebrating career wins to house-hunting together on Selling Sunset, these two have been building a life together—and now, wedding bells are otw.
Kyle Massey and Hana Giraldo
From Disney Channel star to fiancé, Kyle Massey is officially an engaged man! The That’s So Raven and Cory in the House alum popped the question to his longtime love, Hana Giraldo, daughter of rock legend Pat Benatar and Neil Giraldo.
Hana announced the big news on Instagram, writing, “IM ENGAGED 💍 to my best friend, my soulmate, and my forever @kylemassey. A lifetime of love, laughter, and adventure begins now! I love you so much Xo.” The couple, who have been together for years, couldn’t be happier to step into this next chapter together. “I'm marrying my best friend, this is a dream come true,” Hana shared.
DeVon Franklin and Maria Castillo
DeVon Franklin and celebrity trainer Maria Castillo are engaged! The preacher and producer proposed during a romantic getaway in Maui on December 27, 2024, but the couple kept their engagement under wraps until February 2025 (which is why they are on this list), when they shared the news exclusively with PEOPLE.
DeVon, 46, gave them the deets of how he pulled off the ultimate surprise. As they posed on a grassy cliff for what she thought was a regular photo shoot, DeVon turned to Maria, 29, and told his bride-to-be, “You know, this whole time has really been an engagement photo shoot.” Shocked, Maria dropped to the ground before DeVon got down on one knee to pop the big question. “Finding Maria has been one of God’s greatest blessings in my life, so I wanted the proposal to be as special as our love,” DeVon told PEOPLE. “It was truly a magical moment, and I can’t wait to spend a magical life with Maria!”
The couple, who were introduced by a mutual friend last year, have been inseparable ever since. “To know I’ll be spending the rest of my life with this incredible man is a dream come true,” Maria shared with the outlet.
Zendaya and Tom Holland
This wouldn’t be a list of celebrity engagements of 2025 without the engagement announcement that kicked it all off: Zendaya and Tom Holland! The pair sparked loads of speculation after Zendaya blinded us with a stunning diamond ring at the Golden Globes in January 2025. And while the notoriously private couple has yet to publicly address the news, multiple reports have confirmed that they are, in fact, officially engaged.
Adding to the confirmation, PEOPLE recently reported that Tom’s Spider-Man co-star Jacob Batalon—who also got engaged this year—set the record straight about their proposal timelines. According to the publication, sources confirmed that Tom and Zendaya were engaged as of January 6, but Jacob argues that he had his proposal plans set in motion before Tom. “No, we did not know about each other's plans like that,” he told Metro Entertainment. “But I will say I thought about it first.”
Zendaya and Tom have always kept their love story low-key, so an official announcement might never come. But between the ring, the reports, and their inner circle spilling deets, it looks like they are locking it down on their own terms.
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Featured image by Normani/Instagram