

Being single and childless has really gotten a bad rap in the last few years via internet discourse. While one side of the web views it as a doomed position to be in life, I have to say, it has its perks. For me, when I think about my parental and relationship status, I can’t help but beam and have gratitude that with all the things that I have piled on my plate, at least I have only one mouth to feel.
This underrated freedom has a way of taking the pressure off my shoulder to not perform in the kitchen but instead create meals off of vibes and instincts.
Enter “girl dinner.”
@alanalavv Replying to @María GM thank you to everyone who commented ‘girl dinner’ on my snack plates and introduced me to the best concept / phrase ever 🫒🧡 #girldinner #snackplate #snackplates
The idea behind “girl dinner” first gained traction after creator Olivia Maher shared a TikTok video admiring the convenience and delight behind eating bread and cheese-centered meals as her “ideal meal,” similar to that of peasants during medieval times, and thus, the concept was born.
Now, if you’re finding it hard to imagine a meal that seems to lack nutritional value while being completely satisfying, allow me to walk you through it. Picture an elevated, grown-up take on the classic Lunchable, but instead of processed ham, you add Capocollo, swap the American cheese for brie or whipped ricotta, add olives, jam, sliced strawberries, a drizzle of olive oil, and voila, dinner is served.
It’s essentially a snack plate with more intuitive proportions and assorted by your cravings. Maybe you exerted a little too much of your brain power during the workday and have nothing left to conceptualize all the veggies and protein in your kitchen to put a meal together. Or maybe the heat from the summer days has you craving lighter bits as opposed to a full-course meal.
Girl dinner meets you where your day ends, and the chaos of cooking begins to say, “Hey girl, let’s take it easy tonight.”
@alanalavv If it’s not a snack plate, then I don’t want it 🫡 #snackplate #snacks #snackplates #summerrecipes #girldinner #snackideas
For food creator Alana Laverty, the spark to create easy, gratifying meals came during the heat of a Brooklyn summer that almost made her book a flight back home to Ireland. With her apartment already feeling like a sauna and a commute that left her overheated, she’d open her fridge for a cool breeze of relief, but what she found instead were the makings of her perfect meal.
“I started eating olives, pickles, a bite of cheese, and a piece of salami right out of the fridge,” she tells xoNecole. “We lived near a great cheese shop, so on nicer occasions, I’d grab some cheese and bread and throw it all on the counter for my husband and I to make plates out of. That was about four years ago, and since then, I’ve always called these ‘snack plates’ — but when I heard the term 'girl dinner' on TikTok recently, I resonated with it so much.”
Alana has been sharing her eye-catching and mouthwatering snack plates with her TikTok followers for over a year, but it wasn’t until June of this year that she gave the girl-dinner trend the visual aesthetics it needed to truly come to light. Her original girl-dinner video has since reached over 1.7M views.
@alanalavv Replying to @AshleeLatimer my fave snack plate yet 🍒 #snackplate #snackplates #burrataboard #summerfoods #summerrecipes #charcuterie #snackideas
If the weather can influence our mood, it can definitely affect our appetites. And as someone who enjoys a variety of foods, spreads, and platters while living in a city with temperatures on both ends of the spectrum, Alana says that eating intuitively to the seasons has served her and her cravings well.
“My diet is definitely controlled by temperatures. I live in London where we have very cold winters and increasingly warm summers. Therefore I want soups and heartier carb-heavy meals in winter, and lighter snack-style plates — like girl dinner — in summer so that I can avoid the stove at all costs,” she says, “I also love prioritizing eating seasonal produce because fruits and vegetables always taste 100% better when in season. I know this isn’t always possible, but when it is - it’s so worth it.”
Making a girl dinner of your own is completely dependent upon what you have in your kitchen, but Alana says that the perfect arrangement is all about the basics. “I always, always have olives in the fridge or pantry. I normally use crackers or bread, nuts, oils, honey, and other condiments that I already have at home too,” she shares. “I highly recommend the combination of cherries, nectarines, burrata topped with hot honey, prosciutto, olives, and tomatoes topped with olive oil, salt, and pepper” — i.e. her now-viral recipe.
The beauty in girl dinners is that it’s a meal made for one. It’s your time to indulge in your favorite bits and bites without the judgment of what lands on the plate. It can be pretty, a little messy, and only make sense to your palette, but what’s most important is that you take pleasure in how you choose to nourish yourself.
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Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
'When You Build It, They Can’t Tell You You Can’t Sit': DJ Miss Milan, Marsai Martin & More Talk Confidence
The Marie Claire Power Play Summit wasn’t just another branded panel event—it was an inspiring, sometimes emotional, and always honest look at what it really takes to rise, thrive, and stay at the top. From Olympians to entrepreneurs, artists to execs, the room was full of powerful women sharing the real stories behind their highlight reels. I walked away moved by their vulnerability, strength, and refusal to dim their light.
Here are some of my favorite takeaways from three standout panels featuring Jordan Chiles, Marsai Martin, and Kandi Burruss.
Leveling Up Your A-Game with Jordan Chiles, Morgan Shaw Parker, Chelsea Fishman, Laura Correnti, and Tabitha Turner-Wilkins
Jordan Chiles
Paras Griffin/ Getty Images for Power Play
Olympic gymnast Jordan may have medals and magazine covers to her name, but her mindset is refreshingly grounded. “The day I finally feel pressure,” she said, “will be the day I know there’s still more for me to learn.” For her, joy—not pressure—is the fuel. Her confidence isn’t performative; it’s rooted in family, self-worth, and authenticity.
“Everything I’ve done in my career—tattoos, long nails, rocking my crew at the Olympics—that’s all me. It’s not because someone told me to do it. It’s because I felt confident doing it. And that’s where my ambition comes from: being my authentic self.”
For Morgan Shaw Parker, President & COO of the Atlanta Dream, the conversation around pressure went even deeper. “Legacy work” is how she described her mission—navigating male-dominated spaces, sometimes pregnant and pumping on NFL team planes. “After COVID and George Floyd,” she shared, “it became clear to me: vulnerability is power. You don’t have to show up perfect to lead.”
Chelsea Fishman, founder of Atlanta's first bar dedicated to women’s sports, Jolene Jolene, shared how the haters (especially the Reddit kind) were her confirmation: “All those comments saying it would fail—those were the signs that I was doing something right.” She’s hosted 25+ watch parties already and is building the very community they said would never come.
This panel also touched on ambition, authenticity, and owning your power—both in sneakers and in suits. One of the best mic-drop moments came when the moderator flipped the question: “What if we stopped making ‘power’ a bad word for women?” A nod-worthy reminder that we’re not here to play small.
Making Your Voice Heard with Marsai Martin, Carol Martin, Miss Milan, and Heather McMahan
Marsai Martin
Paras Griffin/ Getty Images for Power Play
This panel was a masterclass in staying grounded while growing up—or glamming up—on the global stage. Actress and producer Marsai talked about what it’s like to show up in high-pressure moments when your confidence is low but the world is still watching. From red carpets to long shoot days, she reminded us that even when you’re not at 100%, you still find a way to push through.
“There have been days where I wasn’t feeling the best, but I still had to show up on this carpet. Or it was that time of the month, but I still had to go on set. I just didn’t feel as confident—but it’s about how you take care of yourself in those moments and still keep pushing.”
Her mom and business partner Carol Martin dropped gems about motherhood and mentorship: “It’s like teaching your kid to ride a bike over and over again. Now the bike is a movie or a brand.” That balance between guiding and letting go? Not easy—but essential when you’re raising a mogul and running a company.
“There have been days where I wasn’t feeling the best, but I still had to show up on this carpet. Or it was that time of the month, but I still had to go on set. I just didn’t feel as confident—but it’s about how you take care of yourself in those moments and still keep pushing.”
Miss Milan, Grammy Award-winning DJ and Doechii’s right-hand woman, lit the crowd up with her no-nonsense energy. “I built my own table,” she said. “When you build it, they can’t tell you you can’t sit.” From journaling her dreams to manifesting Grammys, her story is one of resilience and intention—and a whole lot of faith in her own vision.
This panel didn’t shy away from hard truths either: the sadness that can come with success, the fear of fading relevance, the criticism that hits differently when it’s personal. But Marsai said it best: know your why. And let it evolve with you.
The Cost of Starting Your Own Business with Kandi Burruss and Nikki Ogunnaike
Kandi Burruss
Carol Lee Rose/ Getty Images for Marie ClaireKandi doesn’t sugarcoat the grind. From chart-topping songwriter to multi-business entrepreneur, she’s built her empire one risk—and one reinvention—at a time.
“Fear equals failure. If you don’t even try, you’ve failed automatically —and you did it to yourself. I’d rather take a risk and lose money than play it safe and never know what could’ve happened.”
She broke down the real costs of entrepreneurship: money, time, and emotional bandwidth. “You think you’re going to work less when you work for yourself?” she laughed. “You’re going to work more.” For Kandi, mommy guilt and financial setbacks are part of the package—but so is the satisfaction of seeing an idea through.
She opened up about scaling back on her clothing store and temporarily closing the original Old Lady Gang location. “It felt like failure,” she admitted, “but sometimes you have to step back to make things better.” Still, she’s not one to quit. She just pivots—with precision.
One of her most memorable reflections? How her music career hiccup led her to songwriting—ultimately writing the mega-hit “No Scrubs.” That song became the key to a new lane and legacy. “You may think you’re working on one dream,” she said, “but it could open the door to another.”
Also? Kandi wants you to stop emailing her from a Gmail. “You’re doing million-dollar business on a bootleg budget,” she joked. “Invest in yourself. Start with a domain name!”
The Marie Claire Power Play Summit was a powerful reminder that ambition, authenticity, and vulnerability aren’t separate traits—they work in tandem. Whether you’re building a bar, a brand, or a business from scratch, the key is to stay rooted in your voice, your story, and your why.
And if you need a sign to go for it? Consider this your green light.
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Feature image by Paras Griffin/ Getty Images for Power Play