10 Fall-Themed Comfort Meals That Are Actually Good For You
So, while I was prepping to pen this article, I decided to do some surfing around on Al Gore's internet to see how different people define the phrase "comfort food". Some said that it's a food that brings back childhood memories. Some said that it's a food that is automatically high in carbs and sugar. Others said that it's a food that makes you feel good when you're feeling low. Interestingly enough, to me, comfort food is something that sticks to my bones, makes me feel warm and cozy inside and tastes absolutely divine.
For whatever the reason, to me, fall is the perfect season for comfort food. The chill in the air, the overcast, the feel-good Hallmark movies—all of these things just beckon for a home-cooked meal that, well, comforts. And so, in honor of the autumn season's arrival, I decided to offer up 10 dishes that aren't your average run-of-the-meal comfort foods but are ones that taste really good and, as a bonus, have a substantial amount of nutritional value to them too.
(By the way, the recipe for each one is featured underneath each description. Enjoy!)
1. Butternut Squash Macaroni and Cheese
I decided to start this off with a butternut squash dish because, although you can get your hands on this veggie all of the time, it's actually the most delicious between early fall until the winter season is over. Butternut squash is really good for you because it's a good source of protein and fiber, as well as vitamins A and C. It's also got a good amount of various forms of Vitamin B and Vitamin E, potassium, magnesium and manganese. Since butternut squash contains so many antioxidants, it's great at helping to prevent heart disease and the development of cancer cells. Plus, since it's a carotenoid-rich, butternut squash can help with your cognitive health and well-being too.
As far as this particular recipe, while I know that a lot of us roll our eyes whenever "folks" go left on traditional mac 'n cheese recipes, I can personally attest to the fact that adding some butternut squash can make the texture of this particular comfort food meal really smooth. Give it a shot. It just might surprise you.
(Recipe)
2. Sweet Potato Chili
Is it just me or does there seem to be a never-ending fall-related debate about whether sweet potato or pumpkin pie is the most delicious? Personally, I like both. When it comes to sweet potatoes specifically, they are considered to be a superfood and they should be! Sweet potatoes are also a good source of protein and fiber, along with vitamins A and C, manganese, potassium, copper and niacin. Beyond that, sweet potatoes have cancer-fighting properties in them, they help to keep your vision clear, they support you having a strong immune system and, since they're considered to be low to high on the glycemic index scale, sweet potatoes can help to keep your blood sugar levels in check too.
Aside from the fact that a heaping bowl of chili is a wonderful way to warm up on a really chilly day, if you're a vegan, sweet potato chili is not only great-tasting, but the combination of the three different beans (which are also loaded with protein) and sweet potatoes in this particular recipe will provide you a ton of nutrients. It's a chili delight that is sweet, spicy (thanks to the garlic, chili flakes and herbs) and delicious—all at once.
(Recipe)3. Skillet Pot Roast (with Cherries)
I'm not a vegetarian or vegan. I'm totally fine with that. So, if there's one thing that brings me joy, it's a tender slice of pot roast. Whew-whee! Beef is definitely high in protein. Beef also contains the amino acid L-carnitine which reduces oxidative stress and bodily inflammation, and regulates blood sugar levels. Beef is the kind of meat that is also rich in zinc, selenium, phosphorus, potassium, magnesium and iron. The iron in beef is what makes it a food that is beneficial for people who are anemic (or borderline anemic). It's also got carnosine (another amino acid) in it that aids in slowing down the aging process. If you go with this specific pot roast recipe, it includes cherries. They contain properties that help to maintain your body's pH balance, lower hypertension, help to prevent cardiovascular disease, slow down the aging process and, thanks to the melatonin that are in them, cherries make sleeping so much easier too.
By the way, if you'd like a little help in choosing the best kind of beef to get the kind of pot roast that you're craving, check out Kitchn's article, "The Best Cuts of Beef for Pot Roast".
(Recipe)
4. Eggplant Roll-Ups
Did you know that the best time to get a couple of eggplants is between July and October? If you're a vegan or vegetarian, it's another veggie that can get you a pretty good amount of protein and fiber into your system. Eggplant also has manganese and antioxidants in it which makes it the kind of food that contains cancer-fighting properties and aids in controlling your blood sugar while also promoting bone health and aiding with digestion.
Eggplant roll-ups are dope because, if you want to make a pasta-like dish but you'd prefer to avoid the noodles, eggplant (and zucchini for that matter), creates a texture that is extremely similar to noodles. You can cultivate a good alternative without all of the carb drama. Pretty cool, huh?
(Recipe)
5. Smoky Tortilla Soup
Even if soup never crosses your mind any other time of the year, I bet having a cup or bowl of it during the fall season, is something that you do, at least once, on an annual basis. Have you ever wondered what the health benefits of soup are? Soup is filled with nutrients so that your immune system is able to remain in great shape during cold and flu season. Plus, soup can help to keep you well-hydrated during a time of the year when the heat in your house can pull moisture out of the air, which can increase your chances of becoming dehydrated.
This particular soup recipe is really good for you because the tomatoes in it have the antioxidant lycopene in it which fights heart disease and helps to prevent cancer. This soup's vegetable stock is basically like drinking a big ole' multivitamin. Plus, you'll be hard-pressed to find a better all-natural way to fight off potential infections than to eat garlic; this recipe has a good amount of garlic in it as well.
(Recipe)
6. Mushroom Crepes
Another tasty meat alternative is mushrooms. Think about it—whenever you consume some (that have been cooked), don't they taste, well, meaty? When it comes to their health benefits, mushrooms contain antioxidants that fight off free radicals, B vitamins to support your nervous system, copper to build up your blood cells, fiber to keep you regular and potassium to keep your blood pressure in check.
This particular crepe recipe? It's also got spaghetti squash and sage in it. The antioxidants in the squash, along with the Vitamin K in the sage makes this the kind of meal that you truly can feel good about, with every single bite.
(Recipe)
7. Turkey Sausage and Kale Orecchiette
If there's a signature meat for the fall season, it would definitely have to be turkey—you know, due to the Thanksgiving holiday 'n all. Turkey is great on a few levels. It's definitely an awesome source of protein. Turkey also contains Vitamin B, selenium, phosphorus and zinc. The zinc (and tryptophan) in it can help to relax you while turkey's protein can help your body to build and repair tissues. As far as kale goes, it's got off-the-chart levels of antioxidants and vitamins C and K. Kale also has copper, calcium and manganese in it. Eating kale will help to lower your cholesterol levels, put beta-carotene (which is great for your skin and hair) into your system and, it supports bone health and can help to keep you from getting type 2 diabetes as well.
If the combination of turkey sausage and kale sounds awesome but you're wondering what the heck orecchiette is, it's simply a particular shape of pasta. In Italian, orecchiette translates to mean "little ears". Anyway, this is the kind of dish where you can make it appear that you did a ton of work, when it probably will only take you 30 minutes, max, to prepare it. If you want to impress someone, this dish can do it.
(Recipe)
8. West African Peanut Soup
A soup that is actually pretty popular in America is West African soup. If you've never had it before, probably the best way to describe is, it's like eating tomato soup with some peanut butter in it (it might sound weird but it's actually pretty good). Oftentimes, it's served on top of rice. Other health benefits of tomatoes are they've got vitamins A, C and K. They also contain cancer-fighting properties to keep their heart strong. Peanut butter is really good for you thanks to all of the protein, Vitamin E and magnesium that it's got. If you add to that the other ingredients in this soup like collards, ginger, rosemary and thyme—let me just say that if you've never tried West African peanut soup before, don't let the fall get outta here before you do.
(Recipe)
9. Apple Fritters with Spiced Chai Sugar
You'd be hard-pressed to go to your local grocery store and not be able to find apples in the produce section. But did you know that apples are the most delicious between July and November? That's why, I thought I should give a shout-out to an apple treat. Apple fritters are basically a donut that's got apples and cinnamon in it, but the amount of sugar that you choose to put into yours basically determines how "healthy" they are—or aren't.
Anyway, apples are good for you for a myriad of reasons. They're a low-calorie fruit that's got fiber, vitamins C and K and potassium in them. Apples can lower your risk for getting diabetes, promote gut health, help to fight the growth of cancer cells, help to prevent asthma and, they are great at promoting bone density and strength. The particular fritters recipe that I've included also has cinnamon (it contains antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties), ginger (its antibacterial compounds help to soothe sore muscles and ease arthritis-related symptoms), cardamom (it contains antioxidant, diuretic, anti-inflammatory and antibacterial properties) and cloves (which helps to ease digestion while speeding up your metabolism). All of this is good enough reason to enjoy an apple fritter, this fall, in peace.
(Recipe)
10. Pumpkin and Chocolate Bread
If we're gonna talk about fall-themed foods, pumpkin absolutely has to be a part of the conversation. Since pumpkins are typically harvested in September and October, it makes perfect sense why it's basically the autumn season's signature fruit.
This is a fruit that's got a super high amount of Vitamin A and also Vitamin C, potassium, copper, manganese, riboflavin, Vitamin E, and even iron. This makes pumpkin the kind of fruit that can help to protect you from getting chronic diseases, will boost your immunity, and help to keep your skin healthy. If you add dark chocolate to all of this, you'll be adding even more antioxidants into your system; ones that will increase blood circulation, improve your brain function, reduce the risk of heart disease, protect your skin from damaging UV rays and lower your blood pressure too.
I'm telling y'all—don't sleep on a slice of warm pumpkin and chocolate bread that's drizzled with butter while drinking your favorite warm drink. When it comes to the best of the best of comfort foods this fall, it honestly doesn't get much better than this.
(Recipe)
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Navigating Dating When Emotionally Unavailable & Detached: My Journey Back To Feeling
The last time I came with a dating story, I told you I got my little feelings hurt in 2021. I called myself trying to be out in these streets entertaining a man in a different area code, city, and state — only for homeboy to play in my damn face. So, I went and gave y’all "8 Rules To Casual Dating Every Woman Should Know This Summer." You’re welcome. Fast forward to 2024, and I am now coming to you from a more mature and intentional place. We’re not in summer yet, but I truly believe what blooms in spring, thrives in summer.
2023 was my year, and it was my turn. I had just completed an 8-month holistic detox. The glow-up was real and well-deserved. The way I have poured into myself is unmatched. Let me tell you, self-love is a love you have never known. After a five-year healing journey, I finally felt like myself again, and I was ready to play. My heart was open, my mind was clear, and my body hella transformed. I had told all my friends that I was ready to explore dating again, and at the height of summer, I did exactly just that.
This time I decided I wanted to take my time. I wanted to date the “right way” or the “healthy way.” You know, keep your options open, ask the right questions, believe actions and not words, observe patterns and pay attention to red, yellow, and green flags. I was never the dating app type of girl. I sincerely miss everything about human connection and dating from 2000 to 2012. Can we please bring all of that back into 2024? I prefer to feel a man’s energy and presence in real-time. Nonetheless, I still chose to dabble with a few dating apps. I was all the way outside and dating for practice.
Unfortunately, with today’s dating culture, social climate, and how some of these men move and/or behave, these dates were a dead end. Not one guy made it to my roster. What these men were was benched this season – not one of them could be my first-round select draft pick. It didn't seem like anyone I met was interested in a serious relationship. And it’s completely fine. Miss me with the ghosting, lack of effort, inconsistency, and poor communication. I continued to just do me because what is for me will not miss me.
Kelvin Murray/ Getty Images
The universe must have heard me talking because I had specifically told my closest girlfriends that I wanted to meet someone who lived in the vicinity, no more than twenty minutes away, and no more long distance. And I did meet him (it’s crazy how I manifest exactly what I want). As we started to get to know each other, I liked his energy and effort. I liked the direction it seemed to be going to the point my girlfriends had to tell me not to run from him. Because every part of me wanted to run from something that seemed normal.
I liked what he was coming with until I became uncomfortable with my own feelings, and I didn’t know how to communicate them to him.
With that said, I knew if I truly wanted to experience the truest of loves, a reciprocal, requited love, and be in a healthy relationship this story had to come to a pause. What I didn’t know was that he was going to show me things I didn’t know I needed to work on. I didn’t know he inadvertently was going to help me continue to heal parts of me that were hidden.
As someone who has learned to self-heal, I am no longer the type that runs from herself. I am here for the growth.
The truth is I am emotionally detached from myself, and I am not actively dating at the moment. I am the one that has to work on herself. My reiki healer called it, too – she told me this year would not be a year for a relationship, but a year of continuous growth. And now I see why. After all the healing work I have done thus far – I am an unemotional mess. How?
At my big age of 39, I struggle to communicate my wants and needs.
I still struggle to communicate and process uncomfortable feelings. I would rather give myself anxiety, act nonchalantly, emotionally react, and choose non-communication when I am bothered with someone than address the issue (I will later explain why). I have been ignoring my feelings for so long it has become a habit, a defense mechanism, and more so a trauma response.
If you are someone like me who grew up in a household that didn’t discuss feelings, your emotional needs were unmet, and you don’t feel safe to share your feelings – emotional detachment is quite common.
Oftentimes, we always talk about men being emotionally unavailable, but what if it’s a woman who is emotionally unavailable or emotionally detached? How does she navigate herself, dating, or being in a relationship? As I navigate my emotions this season, let’s explore what it means to be emotionally detached, the signs of detachment, and how to reconnect with yourself emotionally.
Emotional Unavailability vs. Emotional Detachment
When we look at the terminology emotional unavailability and emotional detachment, one might argue that the two terms are interchangeable and have the same meaning. One could also argue that both terms mean that some people are not in tune with their emotions or lack the emotional capacity to be responsive to someone else’s emotions. Fair enough. However, there is a big difference. The definition of emotional unavailability is described as people who have difficulty with sharing their emotions and being receptive to the emotions of those around them.
According to Verywell Mind, signs of emotional unavailability can look like being distant or cold, lack of closeness, and emotional intimacy in relationships, inability to understand and relate to others’ feelings, defensiveness when asked to change or let others in, tendency to shut down or avoid topics that require emotional openness, or withdrawal from people or situations that provoke emotional reactions.
Whereas emotional detachment is defined as the inability to or willingness to connect with others on an emotional level. Furthermore, Psychology Today states emotional detachment can also mean that people do not engage with their feelings. Exhibit A – me. Emotional detachment has various causes – past neglect, childhood or adult trauma, PTSD, depression, personality disorder, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, or, in some cases, medication (i.e. antidepressants). It is important to note emotional detachment is a complex issue. For someone like me, it’s a coping mechanism.
It is easier for me to ignore uncomfortable feelings to protect myself from stress or getting hurt. Hence, my nonchalant demeanor. It is also true for some people it is a reaction to trauma, abuse, and unprocessed emotions. Exhibit B – me. As it is difficult for me to open up about my feelings at the moment. On the contrary – emotional detachment can be helpful in navigating some situations like listening to people’s opinions and gossip.
Unfortunately, emotional detachment is not a behavior that can be turned on and off at will. Please note that emotional detachment is NOT a mental health diagnosis but can be a symptom of a mental health condition such as an attachment disorder. And if you know anything about attachment theory, it is related to the relationship we develop in our childhood with our primary caregivers.
Signs You're Emotionally Detached
Mavocado/ Getty Images
According to Psychology Today and Verywell Mind, general signs of emotional detachment can look like difficulty showing empathy to others, sharing emotions, committing to a relationship, feeling numb, poor listening skills, lack of self-esteem, preferring to be alone, struggling to feel positive emotions, inability to identify emotions, lack of physical, verbal, or sexual contact and losing touch with people or maintaining connections.
In a romantic relationship, emotional detachment shows up as you or your partner not being available for connection, poor communication, or reduced affection.
For me, my experience with emotional detachment is collective. I am an empath to my core. I don’t have a problem relating to other’s feelings or circumstances. I don’t have commitment issues, nor do I have an issue connecting with others or maintaining those connections. I struggle with sharing emotions, at least the negative ones.
Due to the emotional abuse from my childhood and a toxic relationship, I learned sharing emotions just wasn't the safe thing to do. As a survivor of trauma, I learned to suppress feeling negative emotions in general as a form of protection.
How To Reconnect To Your Emotions When You're Emotionally Unavailable
Serious Kid Cudi GIF by Apple MusicGiphyExploring my emotional side in-depth started late last year simply by noticing my reaction to something that he did. I didn’t know how to properly communicate to him how I was feeling or what he did bothered me in the moment. So, I swallowed my feelings and said absolutely nothing. I intentionally chose to avoid the issue. I chose to rationalize the situation instead of acknowledging that my feelings at the time were valid. I chose to act like everything was all good because it was all good.
“It wasn’t that deep to begin with” is what I told myself. And this is where the problem lies.
The saying is true, “What happens in your childhood shows up in your adult relationships.” I came to realize that because I was not able to express my feelings as a child, I struggled to process them. I either hold back my feelings, take a long time to say how I feel, or don’t say anything at all. This is because I fear people will walk away from me like my mother did if I share what I truly feel. I fear my feelings won’t be validated, or they will be rejected.
With that said, I was completely unaware that I was emotionally detached from myself until recently. So, here we are with this article. It all started by reading Instagram’s @theholisticpsychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera’s newest book How to Be the Love You Seek: Break Cycles, Find Peace, and Heal Your Relationships, which was released on November 28, 2023. As I read through the first chapter, I became triggered.
How Dr. LePera describes her childhood with her parents and experiences with her romantic partners somewhat mirrored my experiences with my own parents and relationships. As Dr. LaPera stated in her book, I have no issue showing up for others or meeting their needs and wants. But when it comes to expressing my own needs and wants – I cannot or I don’t. This is mainly due to my hyper-independence.
At an early age, I learned to show up for myself because the people I trusted to show up for me failed. Given my home environment, I had internalized it is not safe to talk about feelings. I never knew my emotional responses and behavior were abnormal. But because I am willing to continue to do my inner work, I know that I can reconnect to my emotions, and undo four decades of repressed emotions.
If you are someone like me who struggles with emotional connection with yourself and others, here is how you go about it:
Lighthouse Films/ Getty Images
1. Know Your Attachment Style
For me, the first step was to understand my attachment style. I asked my therapist if she could help me identify my attachment style to understand my triggers. She recommended The Attachment Theory Workbook by Annie Chen, LMFT. My therapist administered the associated online quiz – Attachment Quiz. If you haven’t figured out my attachment style yet by reading this article, I have an anxious attachment style.
This means I don’t do well with inconsistent behavior, especially from men (but I’m the type that holds men to standards too). People with an anxious attachment style have a need to feel close to their partner. It may come across as “clingy” or “needy.” However, this same need is often driven by fear of abandonment, mistrust, and low self-esteem. I would say knowing your attachment style is helpful because you can work towards having a secure attachment style (with practice) in your relationships – familial, business, work, platonic, or romantic.
2. Become Self-Aware
Most people who are not in the practice of self-care or self-healing are unaware of their triggers, patterns, and behaviors. We are so caught up in the daily minutiae of life that we forget to pay attention to the most important part of our days — ourselves. As Dr. LePera says, make it a conscious habit to pause throughout your day to check in with yourself. Ask yourself:
- How does my body feel?
- What am I doing right now?
- Am I present?
- Am I distracted and lost with other thoughts?
- What do I think or feel when I recall a specific experience with someone?
- What do I think or worry about?
- What would happen if I shared my authentic thoughts, perspective, feelings right now?”
This is what Dr. LePera refers to as exploring your embodied self or fulfilling your authentic needs in chapter two of her book. Consistent mindfulness and self-awareness are key to self-discovery and in any healing journey. Learning to focus on the present moment also includes paying attention to our emotional response to an event or how we think about emotions in general.
3. Practice Vulnerability
The idea of vulnerability is a tough one for me and so many other women for countless reasons. Whether it be toxic family, friendships, relationships, or trauma – trusting others with your thoughts and feelings is not easy. As much as I am open and transparent, I am not as vulnerable. And I believe there is so much power in the duality to be both. To trust someone, let alone a man with your authentic self is a delicate matter.
But it is emotional vulnerability that allows us humans to build authentic connections, create stronger relationships, and break down emotional walls. Emotional vulnerability is not something to be rushed – it takes time and practice from you and the people you choose to have in your life. Medical News Today suggests that we can learn to be vulnerable by opening up more to our closest friends, building our ability to become more trusting, and developing skills to regulate our emotions.
4. Seek Therapy
I have been in therapy for six years and counting. I would consider therapy one of my safe spaces. I am one of those individuals who recommend therapy to everyone as it has given me the tools and resources I need to navigate my life challenges. By choosing to get help, I was able to put my PTSD and depression in remission for four years now. I have also learned how to manage my anxiety.
I am fully aware that in this season of my life requires me to do the work to unlock new levels of self. And any time where I have consciously chosen growth – the universe or life has not failed me. I was able to heal my body, my heart, and my spirit. Now, it’s time to heal my inner child, this hurt little girl who lives in me.
I will say choosing a therapist is similar to dating; you might go through a few potentials until you find a therapist you connect with. Actually, one of my lifelong friends said to me the other day, “Your relationship with your therapist is one of the most important relationships in your life.” I needed her to say that, and I needed to hear it because it’s true. You are essentially trusting a licensed stranger to help you navigate your life on so many levels.
Be picky and ask the questions. Cut the cord at the first red flag given. Again, let me reiterate that emotional detachment is not a mental health diagnosis. It can be treated with the help of a therapist. Emotional detachment only becomes a problem when it starts to interfere with your daily life. Pay attention to changes in your daily behavior and make decisions to cope accordingly.
I am genuinely excited about reconnecting with my emotions. I want to feel all the feels – good, bad, and indifferent. I want to cry all the tears – especially the sad ones. I want to process and release negative emotions. I want to say how I feel in the moment with no fear.
If you are that girl who struggles with emotional connection or thinks you're emotionally detached, I hope that you become willing to face your inner child and show up for her. Don’t run – she has been waiting for you.
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