Dear Queen: To The Woman Whose Vision Hasn’t Come Into Fruition

Dear Queen:

Congratulations! You've survived another year. You've had a handful of uncertainty in one hand and hope in the other. Last year, you stepped out on faith and decided to break generational curses to attend therapy. To finally get a taste of what healthy relationships mean, to set strong and firm boundaries that can be felt on the other side of the world, and to use your tests as your testimony. Before jumping into February with both feet, I would advise you to stop, sit down and take three long breaths. This is a memorable moment.

You can look back and be proud of the woman you are becoming. You will never feel this sense of relief ever again. You have now graduated to take life by the horns and control your destiny.

These next ten years will be the most fruitful. It's time to really start to think about our thoughts and the words that exit our lips. Affirmations of positivity and love will be spread this year and the next. How do I know this? I've been there. Approximately four years ago, I lived life with a broken spirit and a weak mind. I allowed others to dictate how I felt about myself and what dreams I wanted to follow. I let others' insecurities create doubt and negativity about how I felt about myself. My fear of speaking up for myself created such angst and resentment amongst family and friends that I became miserable.

I found myself repeating the same things others would say about themselves. I became addicted to feeling sorry for myself. It wasn't until a little prayer and encouragement from loved ones suggesting that therapy would become beneficial to me. Five months earlier, I read a quote that will forever change my outlook on life and about myself, "Old ways won't open new doors." This means changes are needed to get the results you want. What do you have to lose? So, thank your therapist for the glow-up.

If You Can't See It…Speak It

We've all become a victim of our eyes playing tricks on us. If we can't see it, then it can't be real. Wrong. Just because you can't see something doesn't mean it isn't practical or obtainable. It just simply means you weren't ready or were never presented with the tools to accomplish this gift. You are bombarded with apps, books, journals, and websites like xoNecole that give you a jump start on affirmations and how they can come to fruition. When I was introduced to the word "affirmation", I was confused.

I was instructed to write thoughts or phrases that I can speak daily that would somehow lift my spirits. While stating these affirmations out loud, I didn't feel a burst of energy to tackle the world. I felt awkward and still confused, so I stopped. After about a week of self-sabotage, I had to remind myself that being uncomfortable is the first sign of change. I had nothing to lose. All I had to do is reach out to a different doorknob and turn it. I tried a variety of things.

My first attempt was the Being Mary Jane style of writing affirmations. I purchased extensive sticky notes and wrote what I thought I would want to hear repetitively and stuck them all over my room. Everywhere I turned, I had something to read. A week later, I found myself glancing at the bright yellow sticky notes and not reading them. The second method was to Google affirmations. I came across a sixty deck of affirmation cards through Amazon. I make it a point to read at least one card a day before I start my day. It sets the tone.

Use Your Imagination

You are never too old to daydream. If you aren't dreaming, then you aren't living. If affirmations aren't your forte, you can always dive deep into your thoughts. Your thoughts can be as powerful as your words. To obtain this 20/20 vision, you need to have clear and prestigious insight into your accomplishments. Can you see yourself landing that dream job? Can you see yourself on that solo vacation? Or see yourself starting that business? It's incredible how you can narrate your own story by simply just daydreaming it.

My main goal for this year was to have one of my articles featured on a website. All last year, I've been practicing different writing techniques. I didn't know exactly how that plan will be fulfilled, but deep down, I imagined my words being some inspiration for women of color. Here I am two months into the year, and I'm on xoNecole. As someone who used to be pessimistic, I can attest that a simple shift in our vision can open a road to endless possibilities.

It's time to lead with gratitude and not sorrow, it's time to shake off the insecurities and anxiety. The envisions will now become your visions. Keep shining, Queen.

Dear Queen is a series dedicated to letters from women written for themselves and other women. Have a "Dear Queen" letter? We want to read it! Email your letters to submissions@xonecole.com, subject: 'Dear Queen'.

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