Before I settled into the lane of (mostly) sex and relationships writing, I was an entertainment journalist; this meant that I sharpened my teeth, quite a bit, in the interviewing lane — which meant that I’ve encountered quite a few different personalities over the years. And even though it’s been almost three decades of me doing that (off and on), in just a 50-minute conversation that I recently had, I found someone who has easily entered into my Top 10 of all-time favorite people to professionally explore. Easily.
Even if you don’t know her name, I’m willing to bet my next three writing checks that you’ve seen her before because if someone is good for going viral out here in these TikTok streets, it’s Christiana Sabino.
Since I also do a good amount of health and beauty writing, I know what filters can do. For her, they need not apply; she is the epitome of natural beauty. Yet and still, when she popped up on that video screen, she almost took my own damn breath away because stunning? That doesn’t even begin to cut it. In fact, I’m still trying to find an adjective that truly does her justice.
At really-close-to-30, Christina is as feminine as she is gorgeous, as humble as she is wise, as traditional (valued) as she is professionally savvy — and all of these reasons and more (especially once her husband joined in) are why I just knew I had to meet her, pick her brain and provide you all with some inspiration to do what she’s doing in your own signature way: let love and your purpose totally expand your life.
First, the Answers to Some Questions You’ve Probably Always Wanted to Know
Listen, if you don’t recognize Christiana, you either don’t do social media (pretty much at all) or you need to get your eyes checked. I say that because, if there’s one person who is gonna post a video of preparing meals to songs that I’m impressed she’s such a fan of (since she’s still in her 20s) while in some of the most radiant outfits alongside her man who you can tell truly adores her and she’s gonna get a million hits, damn near every single time, it’s her — almost seamlessly so.
“It’s what I know,” says Christiana with a soft-spoken delivery yet very clear demeanor. “I come from a two-parent home [as does her husband, Arismarlyn Sabino] and the way that I am on the videos is how I was raised.”
I could tell that she was Eastern-cultured from the first time I saw her content. I did a bit of digging and discovered that she was Liberian. Her husband? He’s from the Dominican Republic. They met in college in New York City and both have degrees. Christiana’s lane is nutrition (which makes all of the sense in the world if you’re a follower of her stuff) while Arismarlyn (who goes by Aris and is 28) is an architect. They’ve been together for seven years total, married for one year (their first anniversary is in June) and they currently live in Texas.
One more thing: although Christiana’s Instagram page simply says that she is a “blogger” that is the ultimate understatement. She has a cookbook (more on that in a bit). She owns a skin and hair care line called Goddess Gleam. She is a huge fan of and consistently displays lifestyle content — from fitness and fashion to travel and home — and she’s passionate about her partnership with the green hair care company Amika.
“My brand is based on my own standards,” Christiana explains. “Everything that people see are things that I love — especially Black love.”
Ain’t nothin’ better than Black love, y’all. I just had to know more.
"My brand is based on my own standards. Everything that people see are things that I love — especially Black love."
Christiana’s Own Standards Brought Her to the Love That She’s Always Desired
Since I’m also a married life coach (and have been for almost 20 years now), I can discern pretty easily what genuine and healthy love looks like. Christiana and Aris? They are the real deal, y’all. Still, Christiana admits that there were a few frogs who came along before her prince (who actually carries himself more like a gentle and loving Black king) did.
“When I first came here and started to date, it was weird,” Christiana says with a light laugh. “I wasn’t used to people who didn’t date to marry and that’s all I wanted to do. I’m really family-oriented, so I was looking for a man who would be a good father and then a good husband — in that order because what you show as a father will let me know you’re a good husband potential.”
"When I first came here and started to date, it was weird. I wasn't used to people who didn't date to marry and that's all I wanted to do."
It wasn’t too long after trying her hand at dating in the States that she was blessed to meet Aris — a man who Christiana describes as responsible, hard-working, someone she loves to learn from, and who is beyond thoughtful and kind. A man who was more than happy and willing to discuss what they both were looking for in a relationship just three weeks into them dating each other. Yeah, Christiana definitely beams whenever she speaks of Aris; she’s so proud to be with him that it was actually not until halfway through the interview that I knew his name wasn’t “my husband.”
“My husband is so present and consistent,” Christiana shares. “He writes books. He actually designed my cookbook and gifted it to me on my birthday. I didn’t even know that he was going to do that but he compiled my recipes without my noticing and presented them to me. That’s the kind of man my husband is.”
"We definitely complement each other. I love every part of him."
I totally believe her because, although I don’t recall which post it was (Christiana posts quite a bit), I do remember her saying sometime last year that Aris was “retiring her,” so that she could do brand-building and content-creating full-time.
“We definitely complement each other,” Christiana explains. “I love every part of him.”
Which explains why, even though both Christiana and Aris say that they come from traditional homes, they went a bit against the grain by dating for a couple of years and then intentionally living together for one before getting engaged and later married.
“One of my uncles calls me ‘the black sheep’ of the family because that’s not how things are usually done with us,” Christiana admits. “I was intentional. I wanted us to be our most vulnerable [selves] and really know each other before marriage. I also wanted to grow with my partner [over time]…I think that’s why going from engaged to married hasn’t been much different; we had already learned so much about each other before.”
"I was intentional. I wanted us to be our most vulnerable and really know each other before marriage."
Christiana will say that although she is very comfortable doing things her own way when it comes to her wedding, she and Aris acquiesced to their families because, if it had been solely up to her and her now-husband, they would’ve eloped and had a ceremony later. Yet there are no regrets — when it comes to living with Aris first or having a ceremony to please their loved ones.
And now that they are about to hit their first official year as newlyweds, what is it like blending pretty much everything together? That’s when Aris, who was quietly sitting off-camera the entire time, was then asked to join the chat. I’m so happy that he did.
When a Man Loves a Woman, Y’all
Christiana is beautiful. Aris is handsome. They are a great-looking couple. Still, if Christiana has me low-key geeking over her looks, we all know that men must be up in the comments trippin’ hard. It doesn’t phase Aris; not one bit.
“She is beautiful and it’s the internet,” Aris says very calmly and gently. “As long as people don’t make her uncomfortable and everyone keeps their hands to themselves…she knows that I would die for her; that I would protect her. [Christiana is] my responsibility. We’ve been through too much together to worry about people we don’t know online.”
As I asked Aris to expound on what gives him the level of confidence that he has as he “shares” his wife with the world, he said, “We share some of our lives online but not all of it. And my wife is so reasonable, nurturing and she listens to understand. I think because we feel so safe with each other, it’s hard to feel worried about other people. Also, I don’t want her to feel forced to be with me. I always want to be her choice. That’s also why commenters don’t matter.”
Although both Aris and Christiana agree that no relationship is perfect, as I watched their energy exchange between each other (he looks at her so lovingly and she can’t keep her hands off of some part of him), I totally believed Christiana when she said that their “relationship struggle phase” was no more than a week. Once they realized that it was nothing more than a “butting of egos” (their words), they both looked at each other and said, “What are we doing?” and decided to not attempt one of those types of weeks again.
“When you work with your partner, you’ve got to put your pride aside,” Aris says. “You’ve got to really listen to each other, trust in each other, and give each other patience and grace.”
“My husband is huge on communication,” Christiana adds. “I’ve learned a lot about how to communicate better because of him. I listen more and now we’re at a point where we can read each other, we can answer each other’s questions. He’s my best friend and I trust him because I know that he has my best interest.”
When I asked if there are ever times when it’s hard for them to “get off of the clock” so to speak since so much of their professional and personal lives are intertwined, Christiana said, “He’s not a content creator, I am. My husband does a lot behind the scenes but we put our relationship first. Nothing is going to come before that.”
Christiana went on to share that even with as popular as her brand is becoming, it’s clear that there is a theme. Lifestyle and healthy living, yes — however, Black love and legacy are at the helm.
“My husband — I love every part of him. I prove my love by how I treat him. I’ve learned his needs and I meet them. He does the same. What I share online is a just a piece of what it’s like for us to be together. It’s a part of my culture. It’s a part of my relationship. It’s who I am.”
With (currently) over three million followers on TikTok and close to 675,000 followers on Instagram — how wonderful is it to know that so many people tune in, pretty much daily, to share in and celebrate all that Christiana holds dear. Black love, y’all, most of all.
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You can follow Christiana on TikTok at kristiline_ _ and on Instagram @kristline_. Make sure to pick up one of her cookbooks too: Mama's Cookbook Volume 1, Mama’s Cookbook Volume 2 and others that are special editions or available for pre-order here.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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If, while on your continual journey to get the best out of your own tresses, you’d like to learn how to get them healthier than it’s ever been, I’ve got seven acids that are typically known for skin use that can be just as beneficial to your hair as well.
1. Salicylic Acid
When it comes to your skin, salicylic acid is beta-hydroxy acid that is great for your skin if you’re looking for something that will exfoliate it, clear out your pores and dissolve dead skin cells. In fact, this is why it’s an acid that is quite popular when it comes to treating acne.
Your hair will enjoy salicylic acid because, if you’re looking to remove product build-up, you want to soothe an itchy or irritated scalp or you’ve got some dandruff flakes that are totally driving you up the wall, salicylic acid has the ability to treat all of this. Either purchasing a shampoo that contains this ingredient or adding it to your favorite scalp scrub is probably the most effective way to get the most out of it.
Just make sure that if your scalp is sensitive or dry that you approach with caution. In these instances, it could end up irritating your scalp more than helping it out, so use a very little bit in the beginning to make sure that it vibes with you.
2. Lactic Acid
Lactic acid is an alpha hydroxy acid that can help to even out your skin tone as well as slow down the signs of aging. The properties in it help to do this by reducing hyperpigmentation and boosting collagen production in your skin as well as keeping it hydrated.
Why is it great for your locks? For one thing, lactic acid is considered to be a humectant. This means that it pulls water from the air so that your hair is able to remain moisturized.
Another thing that makes it a winner is the fact that lactic acid breaks down dead skin cells on your scalp (so that your hair follicles are able to flourish), it can help to soften and detangle your hair (making it a helpful addition on your wash days) and it also helps to protect your tresses from heat styling tools and UV damage. Applying a hair rinse that’s made up of part lactic acid and part water can work wonderfully (so long as you apply it once a month, tops; more than that might be too “intense” for your hair strands).
3. Glycolic Acid
Glycolic acid is a water-soluble alpha hydroxy acid that is actually made from sugar. Your skin will adore it because it smooths the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, improves the texture of your skin, gently exfoliates, clears your pores and brightens up your complexion overall.
The reasons why you should consider this acid for your hair is because it helps to keep your scalp youthful (and yes, there is such a thing; check out “Your Scalp Ages Six Times Faster Than Your Face. Why It Matters.”), removes excess sebum (that could be clogging up your hair follicles) and it helps to keep your hair moisturized. Your best bet here is to make it a part of your pre-shampooing ritual.
4. Succinic Acid
Succinic acid is an acid that is made from sugar cane and contains antimicrobial and anti-inflammatory properties. Although it doesn’t exactly exfoliate (like many of these other acids do), it can still be beneficial to your skin when it comes to reducing the kind of irritation that is associated with eczema, decreasing the bacteria that leads to breakouts and keeping your skin pretty hydrated.
As far as your hair goes, this is an acid that is worth trying out because it helps to balance the sebum that is on your scalp, remove dead skin and product build-up that can irritate your scalp and clog your hair follicles and, succinic acid is also beneficial when it comes to reducing dandruff and helping to prevent hair loss. Most people tend to apply this as a serum.
5. Hyaluronic Acid
I’ve officially sung the praises of hyaluronic acid on this platform before. One example is via the article, “Why Your Skin, Hair, And Nails Need Hyaluronic Acid Like...Yesterday.” On the skin tip, hyaluronic acid is great because it deeply hydrates your skin, contains anti-aging properties and can even bring relief to vaginal (including vulvar) dryness.
Your hair will adore this particular acid because it aids moisture to it (including your hair follicles), will help to improve your hair’s texture and it also soothes scalp dryness, nurtures the cuticles of your tresses and decreases frizz. Using a serum rich in this acid as a pre-poo or as a leave-in conditioner is recommended.
6. Azelaic Acid
If you’ve never heard of azelaic acid before, this is your lucky day. It’s a dicarboxylic acid that, when it comes to skincare (and hair care) products, is usually synthetic. Anyway, if you are looking for a way to reduce inflammation, even skin tone after a breakout or if you want to use an exfoliant that will improve the texture of your skin overtime, you might want to give this acid a shot.
This one makes the list as far as your hair is concerned because, if achieving more inches is your current focus, azelaic acid might come in handy. That’s because it is able to strengthen your hair, thicken your strands and also stimulate hair growth from within your hair follicles.
7. Glutamic Acid
Glutamic acid is actually a type of amino acid. Skin-wise, it’s great for deeply hydrating your skin as well as protecting it from pollutants and damaging UV rays. Also, if you’re looking for an acid that treats skin dryness or “tightness,” this could be the answer to your prayers.
Since glutamic acid is also considered to be a humectant, it’s another acid that can moisturize your hair. As a result, it can decrease breakage while helping your hair to feel smooth and look shiny.
BONUS: Amino Acids
Speaking of amino acids and hair, please try to keep some amino acids in your diet at all times. The reason why is because, since your hair is made up of mostly protein (keratin, to be exact), amino acids are pretty darn effective when it comes to helping you to maintain the overall health and well-being of your hair.
Ones to prioritize include proline (it boosts collagen so that your hair strands can maintain flexibility); arginine (it increases blood flow to your hair follicles so that they can receive the nutrients that they need); cysteine (it helps to keep your hair follicles healthy); alanine (it helps your system to produce more collagen), and isoleucine (it strengthens the tissues that help to make up your hair strands). All of these are available in supplement form or you can use Google to see which foods contain them.
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Although it might initially seem odd to apply acid to your hair, as you can see, certain ones will work miracles for it. So, test them out to see which one tickles your fancy.
Hell, since they work for your skin as well — it’s a two-for-one deal that is worth every penny!
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