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B.Simone Said She Had An Orgasm For The First Time In 32 Years

The more you know.

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B.Simone shared a personal “fun fact” with fans about orgasms and unfortunately, she isn’t alone. On Monday, the influencer fired off a series of tweets about her sex life. Her first tweet, however, sparked a lot of commotion on the internet. “Fun fact : I had my 1st orgasm ever in life last month . I’ve been celibate for 10 months…what does that tell you ?,” she tweeted.


While she was met with some criticism for being TMI, her next tweet gave people insight into her confession. “I met this lady she’s an intimacy coordinator /sex educator. She has taught me so much and it’s so cool to learn things that we just don’t learn . We just start having sex not knowing simple sh-t. I mean im hella late having and orgasm (im not talking bout that ) but other stuff.”

OnePoll conducted a survey in 2020 that revealed that 4 out of 10 Americans have never experienced an orgasm. Eighteen percent of women surveyed said that they fake it at least three times a month. Fifty percent of men surveyed admitted that they don’t know how to please their partners.

The 32-year-old comedian eventually responded to the backlash she received for her tweets and touched on men not knowing women’s bodies.

“If I point to the clitoris on a diagram and ask 10 men what it was I promise you they all wouldn’t know. Please stop acting like you know everything about a woman’s body when in reality you’re not taking the time to learn.”

“Fellas I hope you don’t think all these women are having orgasms lol they lie or just don’t say anything … FYI not ALL but ALOT!”

B.Simone’s revelation comes on the heels of The Breakfast Club’s DJ Envy’s wife Gia Casey’s confession that she didn’t orgasm within the first 10 years of their relationship. “We would be intimate and he would be putting his best foot forward like, he is in the business of satisfying just all around. He lives to make me happy, and he puts his best foot forward in that role,” she said.

“So I would see him trying and really going to work, and I’m sure many women can relate, you want to reward that man for that work and the only reward that you have to offer is an orgasm. And even if I didn’t feel it, I would still be performative. So, yes I was faking it.”

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Featured image by Paras Griffin/Getty Images for Revolt

When I was ten, my Sunday school teacher put on a brief performance in class that included some of the boys standing in front of the classroom while she stood in front of them holding a heart shaped box of chocolate. One by one, she tells each boy to come and bite a piece of candy and then place the remainder back into the box. After the last boy, she gave the box of now mangled chocolate over to the other Sunday school teacher — who happened to be her real husband — who made a comically puzzled face. She told us that the lesson to be gleaned from this was that if you give your heart away to too many people, once you find “the one,” that your heart would be too damaged. The lesson wasn’t explicitly about sex but the implication was clearly present.

That memory came back to me after a flier went viral last week, advertising an abstinence event titled The Close Your Legs Tour with the specific target demo of teen girls came across my Twitter timeline. The event was met with derision online. Writer, artist, and professor Ashon Crawley said: “We have to refuse shame. it is not yours to hold. legs open or not.” Writer and theologian Candice Marie Benbow said on her Twitter: “Any event where 12-17-year-old girls are being told to ‘keep their legs closed’ is a space where purity culture is being reinforced.”

“Purity culture,” as Benbow referenced, is a culture that teaches primarily girls and women that their value is to be found in their ability to stay chaste and “pure”–as in, non-sexual–for both God and their future husbands.

I grew up in an explicitly evangelical house and church, where I was taught virginity was the best gift a girl can hold on to until she got married. I fortunately never wore a purity ring or had a ceremony where I promised my father I wouldn’t have pre-marital sex. I certainly never even thought of having my hymen examined and the certificate handed over to my father on my wedding day as “proof” that I kept my promise. But the culture was always present. A few years after that chocolate-flavored indoctrination, I was introduced to the fabled car anecdote. “Boys don’t like girls who have been test-driven,” as it goes.

And I believed it for a long time. That to be loved and to be desired by men, it was only right for me to deny myself my own basic human desires, in the hopes of one day meeting a man that would fill all of my fantasies — romantically and sexually. Even if it meant denying my queerness, or even if it meant ignoring how being the only Black and fat girl in a predominantly white Christian space often had me watch all the white girls have their first boyfriends while I didn’t. Something they don’t tell you about purity culture – and that it took me years to learn and unlearn myself – is that there are bodies that are deemed inherently sinful and vulgar. That purity is about the desire to see girls and women shrink themselves, make themselves meek for men.

Purity culture isn’t unlike rape culture which tells young girls in so many ways that their worth can only be found through their bodies. Whether it be through promiscuity or chastity, young girls are instructed on what to do with their bodies before they’ve had time to figure themselves out, separate from a patriarchal lens. That their needs are secondary to that of the men and boys in their lives.

It took me a while —after leaving the church and unlearning the toxic ideals around purity culture rooted in anti-Blackness, fatphobia, heteropatriarchy, and queerphobia — to embrace my body, my sexuality, and my queerness as something that was not only not sinful or dirty, but actually in line with the vision God has over my life. Our bodies don't stop being our temples depending on who we do or who we don’t let in, and our worth isn’t dependent on the width of our legs at any given point.

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