12 (Affordable) Ways To Make Your Bedroom More Tranquil & Beautiful
What inspired me to write this piece is very simple. Most of us spend at least 6-8 hours in our bedroom, so I personally think that it should be the most invested room, décor-wise, in the entire house. Like me? I've worked from home since 2000 and I spend a ton of time in my living room. It's pretty warm and cozy, no doubt. However, the time I've slowly put into making my bedroom the way it is now? Whether it's a catnap or retiring for the evening, I'm literally thrilled whenever it's time to go into that space. And that's because of how I've decorated it.
Spring is the time of year when a lot of us do some cleaning and adjusting to our surroundings. If your bedroom is "cool" yet you know, deep down, that it really could be much better, here are some inexpensive ways (like literally under $50 a pop except for the wake-up light which is around $150) to make your bedroom the one room in the house that evokes so much calm, peace and beauty that you almost, quite literally, can't stand it.
1. Buy Yourself a Wake-Up Light
Unlike a lot of people I know, I actually like it when daylight savings time causes us to "fall back". That's because I enjoy the fall and winter seasons, including the fact that it stays darker longer. Which is why I have blackout curtains hanging up in my bedroom; to me, the darker it is when I retire for the evening (or try and catch a nap), the better. Yet regardless of the time of year that you prefer, something that you might want to invest in is a wake-up light. The long short of it is, it mimics sunrise in order to ease you into light instead of "jar" you with it. Some come with alarm clocks and lighting settings that makes it easier on your eyes to read before turning in. If this is something you'd like to add to your bedroom, there is a list of some really great ones right here.
2. Install Some Color-Changing Light Bulbs
Speaking of lighting, overhead lighting is pretty much the worst when it comes to your bedroom. In the daytime, go with natural light (if you don't want anyone looking into your bedroom from the outside in, you can always get your bedroom windows professionally tinted, so that you can see out and others can't see inside). At night, how about some LED (LED ones last longer and are better for the environment) color-changing light bulbs? Some also mimic the sun by being warmer in the morning and evening and cooler in the middle of the day. However, a more dramatic spin is to get the kind of bulbs that literally change to a variety of colors. Some are even remote- or voice-activated (I know, right?). You can read up on some of the best of the best by checking out The Spruce's "The 7 Best Color-Changing LED Bulbs of 2021".
3. Get Bedding That’s in Calming Colors
Color psychology is very much so a real thing. So when it comes to creating a warmer and cozier space in your bedroom, adding colors that are proven to calm you is your best bet.
Lavender symbolizes serenity, grace and silence. Blue-grey is all about sophistication and elegance. Dusty pink evokes femininity and beauty. Sage green is rooted in wisdom, peace and growth. Beige promotes internal peace of mind, simplicity and warmth. Taupe represents modesty, maturity and dignity. Sea blue is all about calm, inspiration and health. And pale orange represents creativity, happiness and encouragement.
These are just some of the colors that can help to calm your senses, even if you use them as merely accent colors to your overall bedroom décor.
4. Fill a Diffuser with Lavender, Bergamot or Vetiver
It's one thing to have a room that is visually beautiful. You're taking it up a few notches to have one that smells absolutely amazing. As far as your bedroom goes, scented soy candles are one option. Only, if you're someone who doesn't open up your windows a lot (for continual air circulation's sake) or you forget to blow your candles out, well, you can see how problematic that could become.
The alternative? An essential oil diffuser. Not only is it safer but the overall benefits are numerous. Essential oil diffusers are able to help to relieve anxiety, boost your immunity, calm your senses, eliminate odors and improve the quality if your sleep—all things that you definitely want to transpire in your bedroom, right? As far as some of the best scents to use, lavender reduces your blood pressure and heart rate and helps you to sleep better, bergamot eases the feelings that are associated with anxiety and stress and, vetiver calms nervousness, helps with anxiety and is even an oil that has a reputation of helping with healing that is associated with emotional trauma.
5. Put a Faux Tree in Your Bedroom (or Hang Some Ceiling Plants)
Without question, one of the best additions to my bedroom is this tall faux plant that I have in one of my corners. There's something about it that makes me feel really peace-filled and relaxed. And just why is it fake? Although I did grow up with quite a few plants in my home, I don't really like the upkeep that they require. And since a lot of stores have some pretty impressive fake ones these days (lots of arts and crafts stores have them, for instance), I decided to take the low-maintenance route.
Speaking of greenery, another awesome option is to hang some plants from your ceiling. You can put up some literal ones (you can check out a MasterClass on how to do that here) or you can find some fake greenery vines (also at arts and crafts stores) and come up with creative ways to hang them. If you want to do something like a vine wall, a sistah broke down how she did it on YouTube. Check it out here.
6. Design a Floral Accent Wall
Speaking of stuff on your walls, if flowers are more your thing, another great idea would be to DIY a variation of your own floral accent wall. You could go to the same arts and crafts store that you would get a faux tree or some fake greenery from for some of your favorite blooms. I actually checked out a video from a sistah who made one for her wedding out of fake flowers from The Dollar Tree, chile. If you want to see how she pulled it off, all you need to do is click right here. Another sistah did one in under 20 minutes (I know, right?). You can see how she did it by going here.
7. Add a Window Treatment That Includes Fairy Lights
Again, I'm someone who prefers to sleep in pitch darkness. However, I do find something really inviting and beautiful about bedrooms that have fairy or twinkle lights somewhere in it. If you're either over the way your bedroom window currently looks or you've been trying to figure out how not use the starkness of your overhead lighting so much, a cool idea can be to add some fairy lights to your curtains. If you adore that idea yet, at the same time, it seems like it might be a bit of a fire hazard, no worries—there are window curtain lights that exist. They're pretty affordable too. You can read more about them by checking out Penlight's article, "12 Best Window Curtain Lights (Buyer's Guide)".
8. Put Down a Faux Fur Rug
Something that I semi-recently purchased for my own bedroom is a big ole' faux fur rug. It's honestly one of the best investments I've made for my home in a hot minute because it definitely makes my bedroom space look and feel cozier. Plus, since it's right beside my bed, I like the way it feels on my feet when I wake up. I found mine for around 40 bucks. Everywhere from Walmart and Overstock to Wayfair and even Etsy carries them.
9. Purchase a Cable Knit Throw
Pretty much, in every room of my house, there are throw blankets. I like how they can help to bring a pop of color to any room. Plus, it doesn't matter what the weather is like outdoors, I'm the kind of person who likes to snuggle up underneath one while I'm listening to music or watching television. Well, the kind of throw that looks really beautiful in a bedroom is a large cable knit one. If you're someone who likes to knit on your down time, you can start now and probably have a nice-sized-non-rushed one ready by fall (some step-by step instructions are listed here). Or, if you'd rather have one right here and now, Walmart, Target and home improvement stores sell them. I'm gonna be honest, though. Some of the best ones I've seen are on Etsy's site. Just go there and put "cable knit throw" in the search field.
10. Hang Up a Self-Love Mission Statement
Something that will easily—and instantly—make any room more aesthetically appealing is artwork…or at least something on the walls. Let me tell it, bare walls are the absolute worst. And while mission statements are traditionally reserved for places like home offices, I want to encourage you to consider creating one that you can design, blow up and frame to hang either above your bedroom or on the wall across from it (so that you can look at it, every morning that you wake up). The theme should be self-love. A literal mission statement about why you deserve to love yourself and how you will go about doing it on a daily basis. It is time and effort well-spent.
11. Put Some Throw Pillows (on the Floor)
I don't know about you, but I used to have corners of my room that were barer than I would like for them to be. The dilemma is, I didn't want to put any furniture there because it would take up too much space and I already had things that I needed like a lamp. For me, the solution has been big throw pillows.
It's another wonderful way to add a pop of color that you might like without going to overboard. And it's another easy way to make your room feel warm and peace-filled without spending a lot of cash in order to do it.
12. Create a Reading Nook
Reading in bed is great. Still, if you'd prefer to use that space solely for sex and sleep, how about making yourself a little reading nook? All you need is a small table, a comfy chair and little things that will personalize the space like perhaps a plant or some flowers; a footstool; some candles; a mug (so that you have something to put your favorite drink in); a reading lamp and anything else that will encourage you to go over and make time for (at least) a chapter a day. I've even seen someone turn a closet into a nook (you can see it for yourself here). It's the perfect final touch to making your bedroom tranquil and beautiful.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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