Taraji P. Henson's 'What Men Want' Sends A Powerful Message To Women
It's been established that women are from Venus and men are from Mars, so we obviously speak two different languages when it comes to love and well, just about anything else. But what if you had the opportunity to change that temporarily?
What if you could get insight into a man's thoughts and intentions without even needing his permission? Will Packer and Taraji P. Henson just teamed up with Paramount to give us a glimpse into what that's like.
What Men Want is slated to release January 11, 2019, and will offer a freshly melanated version of the millennium classic starring Mel Gibson. Taraji P. Henson will play the leading lady, Ali Davis, who is an ambitious sports agent that suddenly gains the ability to hear the thoughts of her male counterparts. Her gift, or her curse (depending on how you look at it), will help her secure the bag and then some by giving her a powerful advantage in a male-dominated industry.
Taraji P. Henson in a still from 'What Men Want'
The remake will add to Packer's extensive list of wildly popular films that have a predominantly black cast and xoNecole recently sat down with the cast and crew to get the scoop on the film.
Taraji always does her thing, but it will be a special treat to see her in a leading comedic role (especially in a romantic comedy), which has been a rarity in her career. After originally forfeiting a role in the film Girls Trip, when Packer approached Taraji again with What Men Want, she knew that it was be the opportunity she had been looking for. Although she is normally casted in dramas, Packer and Taraji both knew that this would be the perfect role for her. Ali is literally the role of Taraji's dreams.
"This is the role I've been waiting for. You know, as a single parent, moving to LA, you know, doing a half hour sitcom was a dream role for someone in my position because I still had time to go home and do homework. You know so, it didn't require those crazy hours. As God would have it, I was always doing drama, so I've always wanted to do this. And I knew I'd have a lot to prove like, 'You don't do comedy.' I try to put comedy into everything I do because in life you laugh one minute, you cry the next… I enjoy comedy. Thank you, God, I'm not crying this summer!"
Packer said that his motivation to make this film, which was almost immediately fast-tracked by Paramount, came from his overall goal to make mainstream media more inclusive and more reflective of what today's world looks like.
"If you think about it, this whole movie, it was Mel Gibson. It was a white man who could hear the thoughts of women and use it to his advantage. That feels very 1980-whenever it came out. If you're going to do this movie in 2018 and beyond, you gotta have a sista in the center of that, in my opinion. You gotta have a strong woman of color. She gets the power, she uses it to her advantage, wins over the men - to me, those are the things that are really resonating right now."
"I just think there's a lot of diverse representation we haven't had because for so long Hollywood was just a patriarchy. Really, literally, [it used to be] who is like the white male star of the moment and how many movies can we put him in? And that worked for a while. But now the world is changing, the world looks very different than it did in the 80s... I think this is the time to do it and people like me who have a little bit of power, a little bit of opportunity to do it, this is where we should be doing it. We should be taking responsibility and giving agency to us and our stories."
Among the star-studded cast is star of the HBO Special 2 Dope Queens, Phoebe Robinson, who said that working on the project with Packer and Taraji has been a one of a kind experience.
"Obviously this movie is female centric. I think all of the female characters are well-rounded, have their own agency outside their relationship status, and when I think when you guys see the whole movie and see the ending, you're gonna feel like, 'Oh this is a movie of this moment.' And I'm really excited about it.
Phoebe said that the movie was especially close to her heart because it offers black women a new lane in the entertainment industry.
"I think we're still seeing so many comedies and romantic comedies don't have women of color at the lead. Women of color aren't necessarily the love interest, the main person that's being pursued, they're the best friend. And in this case, it's like you know, we're all in relationships, Taraji's dating around. And it's really nice to see that on-screen. And I'm really pumped that this movie is gonna be another one hopefully in the line of movies that show that women of color have fun, they go on dates, they sleep around a little bit, they get their Prince Charming, or they decide to choose themselves instead and I think that's great."
Ali's love interest in the movie, Will, is played by Aldis Hodge (Black Mirror) who said that his character finds love like most of us do: by surprise.
"Will is a bartender and single father when he meets Taraji's character Ali in the time she's not at a high point in her life or career wise. Their relationship just sort of sparks in the sense of just having fun and not foreseeing anything around that but of course, things happen."
Hodge said that his character, much like the original, acts as a catalyst for change during a major crossroads in Ali's life.
"He's not the only catalyst for change. He's a part of that. I think what the film does in a smart way is, was address what women deal with on a regular basis and trying to navigate through a male dominated space in in their personal life as well, how they have to address their own femininity. So she deals with the professional space, with her job, she deals with the love space. How she feels, whether it is love or not love in that introduction. Again, there's different reasons why she evolves as person throughout the film. Again, Will is just one of those elements that adds to her journey."
We all need an element or two every now and then, right?
Now, I have my popcorn already buttered and salted for next January, and I'm hoping that Taraji can help us answer the question we're all thinking: What tf do men want? Check out a sneak peek of the flick by watching the official trailer below:
- 'What Men Want' Star Aldis Hodge Has Some Good Dating Insight For Single Women - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Taraji P. Henson & Will Packer Put Us On To What Men Want - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Taraji P. Henson talks 'What Men Want' [Video] ›
- Taraji P. Henson to Star in 'What Men Want' at Paramount ... ›
- Tracy Morgan Joins Taraji P. Henson In What Men Want ›
- Taraji P Henson's 'What Men Want' Set For 2018 - YouTube ›
- Tracy Morgan, Aldis Hodge Join Taraji P. Henson in 'What Men Want' ›
- Taraji P. Henson to Lead What Men Want for Adam Shankman ... ›
- Taraji P. Henson's 'What Men Want' Taps Director Adam Shankman ... ›
- Tracy Morgan Joins Taraji P. Henson in 'What Men Want' – Variety ›
- 'What Men Want' Movie: Taraji P. Henson To Star In 'What Woman ... ›
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Do You Want To Be A Wife? Or Do You Just Want To Have A Wedding?
Even though it’s my life, sometimes I look at it and totally trip out over certain things.
For instance, even though I am aware that both Hebrew and African cultures put a lot of stock in the name of a child (because they believe it speaks to their purpose; so do I) and I know that my name is pretty much Hebrew for divine covenant, it’s still wild that in a couple of years, I will have been working with married couples for a whopping two decades — and boy, is it an honor when they will say something like, “Shellie, we’ve seen [professionally] multiple people and no one has been nearly as effective as you have been.”
Yep, me. Little ole’ never-been-married-before me. Yeah, y’all better quit letting people tell you what you’re called to do in this world. That is between you and the One who made you.
Okay, but let me stay on track. When it comes to the engaged couples specifically, who have crossed my path, something that I believe I’ve said to each and every one of them (especially the bride-to-be) is — “You better enjoy every single minute of your wedding day because you deserve a big ‘ole party for all of the work that you’re about to do.” And then I look at the woman as intensely as I can and say, “And you? Remember, you are a bride for a day. You are a wife for the rest of your life.”
Why do I emphasize that point so much? It’s because those two things are not one and the same. Hmph. Let me tell it, a huge reason why 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women, however, is because a lot of them think that it is. And so, in the effort to do my part to help make marriages last longer and cause the divorce rate to go down, I think it’s important for more women to ponder if they really want to be a wife — or if they just want to throw a big party (a wedding), go on a trip (a honeymoon) and not much more than that.
Buckle in. This one might be a bit of a ride (for some, at least).
It’s Time to Stop “Living for the Fairy Tale”
GiphyIf you’ve been reading my content for a while (and if so, thank you), it will not shock you in the least that I’ve spent many years studying the origins of things as they directly relate to marriage. I know that the engagement ring is not about love but about a jewelry company that was about to go bust. So, they came up with the slogan “A diamond is forever” and then made some serious bank from it (you can read about that here).
I know that white wedding dresses have nothing to do with purity and virtue; in fact, women in the Bible often wore lots of bright colors during their more-than-one-day wedding celebrations. Actually, white comes from Queen Victoria making it famous back in the 1840s. I also know that a lot of people were pretty obsessed with evil spirits back in the day because things like wearing a wedding veil and bridesmaids wearing the same dresses were all about hiding from said spirits. Another pretty popular wedding day tradition? Well, I’ll just let you read Insider’s “Here's the horrifying truth about why grooms carry brides across the threshold,” if you’re interested.
And as far as marriage goes, don’t even get me started on the whole “I’m living for the fairy tale” narrative that gets pushed incessantly. I’ve said in other articles before that "fairy tale" literally means “a story, usually for children, about elves, hobgoblins, dragons, fairies, or other magical creatures” and “an incredible or misleading statement, account, or belief.” Who wants to live for childish stories that are incredibly misleading? And the ones that have a character like Prince Charming in it? The Bible literally says that “charm is deceitful” (Proverbs 31:30).
Know what else the Bible says? It states that death and life are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21). So, what’s up with all of this wedding/marriage rhetoric that’s so popular and also, so… “silly” is the first word that comes to mind, “unrealistic” is the second and “unnecessary” is the third?
Why are there so many expectations, especially when it comes to the wedding day, that push folks to the point where a whopping 49 percent of couples end up going into debt right after jumping the broom — all because they wanted to live for the fairy tale and throw a big party that they basically couldn’t afford? SMDH.
It really is wild, just how much human nature tends to do things without even really knowing WHY it does it — even when it comes to marriage. And so, if you are someone who desires this type of union, be honest with yourself: what is your “why”?
When it comes to becoming a wife someday, WHY do you want to do that?
A man needing to spend three times his salary on an engagement ring, WHY?
When it comes to having a big traditional wedding, WHY is it necessary?
Marriage is a goal for you (and don’t get me wrong, marriage is a beautiful thing) — WHY is that the case?
When it comes to being married, WHY do you think it will better serve you than your single state?
Motivational speaker Eric Thomas once said, “When you find your ‘why’, you will find a way to make it happen.” And when it comes to something as big (and supposed to be lifetime lasting) as marriage, perhaps a big part of the reason WHY so many of them do not go the distance is because there aren’t enough “why” questions, on the front end, that are asked (which is why you should partake in premarital counseling before your wedding day). Oh, but there should be.
Because saying “why” you want a huge wedding is nothing more than “because I want to” or “why” you chose the man that you did is simply “I love him” — I’ve been doing this couples work thing long enough to assure you that those answers simply aren’t good enough. You need to know what it means to be a wife and why a marriage and a wedding are not the same thing…not by the longest country mile that you can imagine.
What It Means to Be a Wife
GiphyIf you’ve been reading my content for a while now, you know that I’m good for throwing some Scripture in; it’s a part of my foundation and I make no apologies for it. And so, when it comes to what it means to be a wife, the first word that’s used to define it in the Bible is “helpmate” (Genesis 2:18). A helpmate is a companion, a helper and someone who assists another individual — in this case, a husband.
While we’re here, a helper is not helping unless the help is actually needed and it’s good. Lawd, I can’t tell you how many wife clients I’ve had who have totally missed that part. So, what does “good help” look like?
- A good helper ASKS the person they are assisting what they need.
- A good helper does not try to control another person or make them do what they want.
- A good helper gets that needs can shift based on what is transpiring at any given time.
- A good helper makes things easier and less stressful.
- A good helper learns how to master good listening, effective communication, and wise timing.
And yes, in many ways, this is what it means to be a good wife. So, if you are someone who desires marriage, when it comes to what is required to be not just a wife but a GOOD WIFE, how much have you factored helping your man into the dynamic?
Not mothering him. Not bossing him around. Not trying to manipulate him into being a version of a husband that you would prefer. No, how much thought have you put into “Am I equipped to help another person be their best self? Am I ready to be supportive, encouraging, and nurturing? Was it even modeled to me, while growing up, to know what a proper helpmate looks like? Have I realized how much sacrifice goes into that type of role? Am I even selfless enough to be a consistent helper?”
I know this is probably gonna ruffle some feathers yet, you know something that I’m not big on? Women saying that their man should give them the “princess treatment.” Every time I hear that, the first thought that comes to my mind is “Fathers make their daughters princesses while men make their wives a queen” — and little girls are treated differently than grown women. And to that, Proverbs 12:4(NKJV) says, “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.”
My point? There is a MATURITY that is to come from going from princess to queen. A queen does have more privileges, yet, at the same time, she also has way more responsibility. It’s not about sitting around and being catered to all day long. Queens have work to do — and it’s not always comfortable or pretty. Same thing goes for being a wife.
Y’all, I could go on and on (and on and on and on) about what it means to be a wife in a marriage. For now, I’ll just end this part of the article with, “If you’re not ready to help, each and every day of your relationship, you’re not ready to be a wife.” Plain and simple.
Weddings Are Not Marriages (and Vice Versa)
GiphySo, why do so many people jump brooms (I’m writing this with Black folks in mind first; jumping brooms is for us only), only to turn around and get divorced a few years later? Oh, I could go on and on as well about how a lot of people don’t have much integrity when it comes to the promises that they make. Listen singles, when you’re dating someone, pay very close attention to whether the person you’re seeing keeps their word — and if you do the same.
It makes absolutely no sense to keep letting someone slide when it comes to reneging now, only to act shocked when they do the same thing after saying “I do.” And while we’re here, being a man or woman of your word is a character issue. Maybe folks are not strong in character when it comes to this.
Yet another reason why folks will get all dolled up, stand before God, family, and friends, look someone straight in the eye, and promise to never leave, only to do just that, is because many people honestly don’t see past their wedding (and maybe their newlywed years). That is why you will hear so many people describe their perfect wedding day, down to the last detail, and yet, if you ask what their five-year plan for their marriage is, they have absolutely not one clue.
I mean, I get it — to a certain extent. A wedding is a big party where you get to dress to the nines, have people come to celebrate you and you get to have everything go your way — down to the font on the programs and reception napkins. Oh, but what a “trick” that can be if you think that your marriage is going to move like that, all of the time, moving forward. I liken it to The Bachelor franchise. Who wouldn’t feel like they are falling for someone when they’re able to live in a mansion with no bills, have fantasy dates that cost thousands of dollars, and a big ole’ rock that a famed jeweler donates?
Meanwhile, folks should watchUnREAL (the television series from several years back where some former producers of the franchise talk about what really happens behind the scenes) to get a reality check. To a certain extent, the same thing goes for marriage: while weddings produce this belief that marriage will be one big party where everyone focuses on you and everything goes your way, that isn’t even close to being the reality of being married.
Honestly, the real deal is 1) if you don’t want to learn how to love on a supernatural level; 2) if you don’t want your strengths to be refined and your weaknesses to be challenged; 3) if you don’t want to be held accountable in ways that you would never be if you remained single; 4) if you don’t want to compromise on a daily basis and, 5) if you don’t want to be challenged to become a truly selfless individual — marriage isn’t for you.
You’d be far better off just throwing a big ass party for yourself, just because (and no, I don’t mean marry yourself; you are already “one” with you; no need for that), and call it a day. Spare yourself and another person the heartache of divorce because…divorce is A LOT to go through.
Lawd, I can only imagine how much drama could be spared if folks simply took into their spirit that weddings ARE NOT marriages and marriages ARE NOT weddings. Weddings are a party to celebrate your union — yet your union? That requires daily energy, effort, and time. It’s not a party. It’s a relationship. BIG DIFFERENCE.
Please Don’t Get Married Until You’re Sure That You Want…BOTH
GiphyAnd this is why, whenever someone tells me that they are going to get married, I don’t immediately respond with, “Congrats! That’s awesome.” NOPE. The very first thing that comes out of my mouth is something along the lines of, “For real. Why?” WHY? Because, it never fails that, about 7.5 times outta 10, folks will be caught off guard and say, “What do you mean ‘why’?” and then follow that up with, “Because I’m in love” or…they don’t really know what to say at all.
Is being in love a good answer? I mean, it explains why you picked the person that you did; it doesn’t really explain why you are choosing to commit to them for the rest of your life, on a marital level, though. Are you getting married because you know that the two of you will make each other better people? Are you getting married because you want to raise your children in a two-parent dynamic? Are you getting married for biblical reasons like wanting to love like Christ loves his bride (the Church and the Church sent him through A LOT — Ephesians 5)?
Are you getting married because you think you’ve gone as far as you can in your evolution as an individual without the assistance of another? Are you getting married because you want to serve another person as they do the same for you (perhaps not in the same ways because you’re both different people)?
Is that asking the most? Chile, that’s not asking enough. I don’t care how much people mock marriage in the media by changing partners like they change cars or homes. I don’t care how much divorce has been normalized. I don’t care how much folks like to act like a husband is a 2.0 boyfriend (it’s not) and having a wife is a 2.0 girlfriend (it’s not) — marriage is special, sacred, and needs to be honored as such. A wedding should be seen as a happy occasion where two people publicly acknowledge what I just said…not simply a time to get a lot of attention and presents only to come home and go from heaven to hell in six months.
And honestly, that’s a bit part of the reason why I do what I do: it’s because I actually think the covenant of marriage is SO MAGNIFICENT that I want to make sure that people know, as much as possible, what they are signing up for — not an endless wedding; a very real relationship that will challenge them and mature them like nothing else ever will in this lifetime.
____
This was a lot. I already know. Still, it beats spending thousands of dollars on a wedding to stand before a chaplain only to spend thousands of more dollars several years later on a divorce lawyer and therapy while standing before a judge.
Weddings are awesome; you’ll get no argument from me there. Still, I think if I was to narrow all of this down into one statement, it would simply be this: “When it comes to marriage, if the thought of being a wife doesn’t excite you more than being a bride — wait. You’re not ready yet.”
Thank me later, sis. YOU WILL.
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