

From Mom Guilt To Asking For Help: 5 Times Tamera Mowry-Housley Kept It Real About Parenting
Tamera Mowry-Housley may be a well-known actress, television host, and author, but her most tremendous success lies in being a mother to her two children.
Mowry-Housley is married to former journalist and entrepreneur Adam Housley. The couple, who have been together for almost two decades, share a son Aden Housley, 10, and an 8-year-old daughter Ariah Housley. Since becoming a parent, the Sister, Sister star has opened up about her journey to motherhood and how it has impacted her life.
The list includes learning to be patient, overcoming mom guilt, being vocal about the many experiences one may go through, and so much more. Below is a look at what Mowry-Housley has said about motherhood in various interviews and blog posts over the years.
Tamera On Patience
In a recent discussion with Ebony magazine, Mowry-Housley revealed that after becoming a first-time mother in 2011 with her son Aden and welcoming her daughter Ariah in 2015, she realized that not everything needs to go "by the book."
With that understanding, the 44-year-old has learned to be patient with herself and her children, especially as they go through milestones, because she acknowledges that, in life, it takes time and various avenues to accomplish a goal.
"Motherhood taught me patience, not only patience with my children but with myself. There are times when your children may be going through a milestone, and you start worrying, but eventually, they get through it. Everyone has their own journey, their own time," Mowry-Housley explained.
"We have to allow ourselves to be patient with ourselves. If you have a goal, if you are learning something new, be kind to yourself throughout the process. I never saw myself as a control freak, but I thought if I did A + B, I'd always get that C result, and that's not the case. You can get the same result by doing different things, so look for different avenues. It doesn't always need to be by the book or when it's 'supposed' to be."
Tamera On Mom Guilt
At the same time, while talking toParade magazine, Mowry-Housley shed light on mom guilt struggles and the importance of self-care.
In the interview, the Double Wedding actress disclosed that women generally go through mom guilt because they "innately" want to help others before caring for themselves.
Further in the conversation, Mowry-Housley elaborated that in order for an individual to be a better person for those they love, they must practice self-care.
"It is hard. I mean, I feel like women in general, we innately always want to help others before we help ourselves. But self-care isn't selfish. It's actually a necessity because if you take care of yourself, you are a better friend, a better sister or better mom. You can't truly thrive if you're depleted. So you have to always remember to fill that cup,” she stated while mentioning the mantras she created for other women.
"I also created some mantras just to inspire moms out there to maybe, you know, spread, spread that love, spread that wisdom. Because once I became a mom, I realized the importance of community. And it does take a village. And one of those mantras is taking care of yourself, actually is taking care of others.
Mowry-Housley wrapped up her statement by saying that it's acceptable for a woman to "prioritize" herself, even if it is for "a moment," and should not feel guilty for putting themselves first.
Tamera On Why It Is Okay To Ask For Help
In 2015, while expecting her second child, Mowry-Housley shared with Yahoo Parenting that she learned it takes a "village" to raise well-rounded children after accepting help from others.
The Strong Medicine star revealed that following the birth of her son Aden, she wanted to be in "control" of everything, so much so that she didn't want her husband Adam assisting her in anything she needed. Mowry-Housley stated that it quickly changed when she saw how exhausting it was.
"It takes a village. It was very hard for me to admit this in the beginning," she said. "I wanted all the control. I didn't even want help from my husband. Adam was like, Can I help? The moment you accept help, you find yourself happier. A child will benefit from a happy mom, not an exhausted one."
Tamera On Being Present
Since having her children, another thing Mowry-Housely has discovered is how to be present, something she admitted was slightly challenging to adjust to with her busy work schedule.
In honor of Mother's Day, Mowry-Housley uploaded a blog post on her website discussing how often she prioritized bonding with her children instead of focusing on her everyday responsibilities, such as cleaning and answering an email.
"My children have also taught me how to be present and in the moment, which is something that can be really hard to do when you are a working mom and have a lot of responsibility in your life," she wrote. "As a mom who can be a little OCD, my children have made me realize that it is okay to leave some dirty dishes in the sink for a while, or to not write that email right away, and to just live in the moment. I have learned that it is worth giving up a little control in my life, to be able to sit and watch a movie with them or just have time to bond."
Tamera On Why Parents Should Speak Up More About The Challenges They Experience When Raising Children
The last quote that Mowry-Housley shared regarding motherhood stems from parents opening up about the challenges they have experienced while raising their children.
In an essay written in She Knowsmagazine, the Twitches star explained that at the time when she and her husband Adam were potty training their son Aden, they noticed that the then 5-year-old was still wetting the bed. The concerned couple, who thought they were doing a good job at potty training, researched online to see if Aden's bed-wetting was a common issue among children his age.
Following the research, Mowry-Housley found out that bed-wetting was a part of the potty-training process. Upon the revelation, Mowry-Housley disclosed that if it weren't for others sharing their stories and past experiences, she wouldn't have known the solution to Aden's problems and would have felt she was the only person going through it.
"I wish more parents knew that you aren't ever alone, and when you speak up about a challenge, in fact, you're probably saying exactly what someone else needed to hear in that moment," she wrote while encouraging others to be more open about their parenting journey.
"When we open up and support each other, whether that's on social media or IRL, we're always better for it. So no matter what your child is experiencing, I always encourage people to speak up and get real — because chances are, you'll find people with just the information, resources, and inspiration you and your family need."
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Feature image by Jesse Grant/Getty Images for Disney
Exclusive: Gabrielle Union On Radical Transparency, Being Diagnosed With Perimenopause And Embracing What’s Next
Whenever Gabrielle Union graces the movie screen, she immediately commands attention. From her unforgettable scenes in films like Bring It On and Two Can Play That Game to her most recent film, in which she stars and produces Netflix’s The Perfect Find, there’s no denying that she is that girl.
Off-screen, she uses that power for good by sharing her trials and tribulations with other women in hopes of helping those who may be going through the same things or preventing them from experiencing them altogether. Recently, the Flawless by Gabrielle Union founder partnered with Clearblue to speak at the launch of their Menopause Stage Indicator, where she also shared her experience with being perimenopausal.
In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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Feature image by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images
Victoria Monét Opens Up About Feeling ‘Validated’ Months After VMAs Turned Her Down To Perform
Victoria Monét has had an incredible year. Thanks to the success of the widely popular “On My Mama” that went viral, the singer/ songwriter’s Jaguar II album debuted in the top 10 of Billboard’s Top R&B Albums chart. She also went on to headline her own sold-out tour. So, when the MTV VMAs happened in September, everyone was surprised to learn that Victoria’s team was told that it was “too early” for the “Smoke” artist to perform at the award show. However, a couple of months later, the mom of one received seven Grammy nominations, including “Best R&B Album” and “Record Of The Year.”
Victoria is currently in London and stopped by The Dotty Show on Apple Music and shared how she feels “validated” after being dismissed by the VMAs.
“It really does feel nice and validating because, in my head, the reason why I wanted to be a performer at the VMAs or award ceremonies like that is because I felt like I am at the place where I should. I would work really hard to put on the best show that I could, and I was excited to do so,” she said.
“And I guess the best way to describe it for me is like when you're like on a sports team, and the coach is like, ‘No, you gotta sit this one out.’ When they finally put you in, and then you score all these points, and it feels like that feeling. You're like, yes, I knew it wasn't tripping, but I knew I worked hard for this, and so it's been super validating to just have these accolades come after a moment like that, and I know the fans feel vindicated for me.
While her fans called the VMAs out on their decision, the “Moment” singer kept it cute and is still open to performing at the iconic award show. “I feel no ill towards them because it's just maybe that's just truly how they felt at the time, but I hope their mind has changed,” she admitted.
Aside from recognition from the Grammys, she has also received praise from legendary artists such as Janet Jackson, Kelly Rowland, and Usher.
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Feature image by Amy Sussman/WireImage for Parkwood