

Earlier this week, I slipped on my favorite flip-flops and hurriedly walked out the door, only to turn around a few seconds later and swap them for a pair of boots. That’s when it hit me – fall is here, and “winter is coming.'' In Atlanta, the heat lingers for a while, but I think it’s finally time to retire the sleeveless tops and denim shorts and commit to long-sleeved shirts and stylish slacks. Change is constant whether we want to accept it or not, and nothing displays this quite like the weather. But as someone who's been working in sweats and t-shirts for the past few years, I realized my closet was no longer giving what it was supposed to give. Half of my wardrobe felt outdated, and the remainder only partially reflected my current style.
So, after giving away a few bags to Goodwill and Insta-stalking my favorite influencers, I decided that my current “mood” would influence my style – but this still presented a problem. I wasn’t sure exactly what mood I wanted to convey. Because I enjoy the confidence of business casual looks. But if I’m honest, I also like the power I feel in more sensual styles. Still, the majority of the time, I love a comfy, cute, and casual fit. Luckily for me, I learned I don’t have to commit to just one, and neither do you. Our fashion choices can be just like us: multifaceted. Still, it doesn’t hurt to have an overall idea of your signature style.
So we talked to a few women who can help. Here’s 6 Black fashionistas you should know, along with their style advice for the colder season.
For Sneaker Lovers
Melissa Carnegie, Kicks and Fros Founder
How did you go about starting your sneaker collection, and what advice do you have for women looking to build their own? I started my sneaker collection, buying sneakers I liked and that fit my style. Advice I have for other women looking to build their collection is to start where you are. Outlet stores will be your best friend. You don't have to break the bank when starting your collection.
Give me three staple sneaker styles that should be in every woman's closet.
I would say an Air Force 1, Adidas Stan Smith, and Jordan 1.
What are a few ways to incorporate sneakers into our professional looks?
Always be yourself and pair kicks with your everyday style. One way I take them into a professional setting is pairing them with suits. Maxi skirts, slacks, and graphic tees also look great when rocking sneakers.
There's a narrative out there that heels, sandals, etc., are more girly or "feminine" than sneakers. What are your thoughts on this, and can you share some fashionable ways you incorporate sneakers into your style to dispel this?
I don’t agree with this narrative at all. You can 100% give all feminine energy when wearing sneakers. Sneakers with dresses always bring a feminine, soft edge. Crop tops, skirts, and cropped fitted tops with baggy loose bottoms also give feminine energy.
What's next for Kicks and Fros? Also, can you share a personal goal you're working on?
We launched a sneaker cleaner in the beginning of October I’m super excited about. It’s a project we’ve been working on for two years, and I can’t wait for our community to have it in their hands. A personal goal I’m working on is scheduling downtime to do something fun, something other than work, lol!
For Thrifters
Bicoastal B, Stylist
What’s your favorite thing about thrifting? What advice would you give to people who struggle to find nice pieces while thrifting?
My favorite thing about thrifting is finding designer/high-end brands for cheap. It literally gives me a high. I have been thrifting all my adult life, pretty much. The best advice I can give individuals who are wanting to thrift is to go with patience and kind of already have in mind what you’re looking for. Don’t be afraid to pull out your Pinterest board to look at inspo while shopping.
Are there any staple pieces you recommend we add to our collection?
Blazers are great to throw on with literally anything, and boom you’re that girl. Also, I’d say a leather jacket, a nice turtleneck, and a good pair of jeans and slacks.
When did you realize you wanted to be a stylist, and what services do you offer?
I first realized I wanted to be a stylist when I lived in Tokyo. I was putting looks together and posting them on IG. I had one lady DM me and asked if I offered a service, and the rest is history. Now, I offer a number of services: style boxes (where I thrift shop for your personal wardrobe based on a brief questionnaire), personal shopping, and photoshoot styling.
For Fashionistas
Pilar Scratch, Stylist
What's the fall fashion tip you swear by?
When it comes to autumn fashion tips, layering is key. To achieve a chic look, you can try out some of these top combinations: a long coat and neck sweater, white tee and wool pants, a long quilted vest, white button-up, & knee-high boots. When layering for the autumn season, it's essential to balance proportions and mix up textures. Keep this in mind, and you'll have a fantastic wardrobe in autumn!
How did you cultivate your signature style?
My signature style was honed through my study of vintage fashion, mainly influenced by the edgy yet classic look of the ‘80s and ‘90s. I delved into Pinterest boards and even interned at Patricia Field’s boutique in the early 2010s before it closed. I was fortunate enough to study under some of the fashion industry's greats, and the experience was invaluable.
Who are your style influences, and what have you learned from them?
I'm grateful to have worked closely with my fashion influences, Ty Hunter and Patricia Field. Ty is a dear friend of mine now. They've both had a significant impact on my sense of style. Through them, I’ve learned that fashion is an art form that manifests in clothing, and it's a fabulous way to express oneself. Additionally, it's crucial to not be afraid of taking risks in the fashion industry. Remember, the bolder the statement, the greater the risk.
Sometimes I go to events and it feels like we all shopped at the same place. Tell me about a few of the ways you keep your looks so stylish yet unique.
You can revitalize your wardrobe with a clothes swap. Try swapping clothes with your most fashionable friends. One great way to keep your wardrobe feeling fresh is to adopt a one-in, one-out policy. Get rid of items that haven't been worn in months and trade them for something your friend has grown tired of wearing. It's a win-win situation! By doing this, you can acquire distinctive items that will give you the feeling of a shopping spree.
What services do you offer, and what's the best way to connect with you?
Currently, I have the pleasure of working as a celebrity wardrobe stylist and serving as the Editor-in-Chief of Fashion Gxd Magazine. Our magazine is sold at Barnes and Noble, Walmart and is Amazon's best-selling magazine. We showcase a diverse range of entrepreneurs and their life journeys. I have been working as a wardrobe stylist and fashion/shopping expert for the last decade, dressing celebrities such as Fatman Scoop, Musiq Soulchild, Rah Digga, Mariah Lynn, Jim Jones for Fashion Gxd Magazine, and River Mason Eromosele. My expertise has been recognized by several reputable sources, including The Wall Street Journal, Insider, Instyle, Yahoo, Essence magazine, BET, People Magazine, The Source magazine, Bustle, Men's Health, and Huffington Post.
For The Girls Who Like A Little Sex Appeal
Taquiela Wright, Designer of Lingerie Brand Delisa Rose
I like that your designs feature different styles and textures (lace, chiffon, velvet). It gives more of an elegant look. Are there other stylistic elements women should try to upgrade their style?
Play around with different fabrics for your skin tones, body type, and body shape. As I’ve put on a little weight, I pick fabrics that accentuate my curves. But for your lingerie closet, for example, work with stretchy materials and things that will form to the body. Know your body type but also the comfort. The form, fit, and color is all important. Little secret: I do a lot of focus groups, and red is always the #1 color my girls prefer for sexy styles.
Talk to me about making sure our clothing is environmentally friendly.
It’s a journey with that because sustainability in top quality material is expensive. But you want to get something that’s durable. Velvet and lace is what I play around with most with Delisa Rose. But it’s good to pick materials that can be washed several times or collectible items.
Inside or outside of the bedroom, what are a few ways we can upgrade our look and add a dash of sex appeal?
Stick to the classics – like, the look of Chamise (her design) is not a new thing. It’s just the way I created it. So, I pair transitional sensual pieces with classics. That way, you can feel elegant and nice while walking outside while still owning your sensuality and sexuality. (For example, she was wearing a bright pink blazer in the interview and paired it with a lingerie teddy underneath.)
Now you have an interesting background. In addition to being a designer, you’re an engineer. How did your engineering background impact your journey into Delisa Rose?
I have to mention the manufacturing process. I didn’t think about how this was going to come together. I just decided I wanted to design a brand you can wear in and outside of the bedroom, so I had to learn garment production, but that was such an easy transition because of my manufacturing skill and sorting. I specialize in raw materials, so before it’s even processed I can tell if the purities meet the requirements, and that helps with laces and stretch quality.
For Risk-Takers
Monique F., Stylist
Are you big on accessories? What are a few must-haves you recommend?
I firmly believe in always accessorizing when leaving the house because these little additions, whether it's a piece of jewelry, glasses/sunglasses, a hat, scarf, or even a belt, have the power to elevate any outfit to the next level.
Who are style influences, and what have you learned from them?
My style is influenced by remarkable individuals such as June Ambrose, Tracee Ellis Ross, Rihanna, and Zendaya. They’ve taught me the importance of embracing risks when defining your personal style. Fashion, for me, is not just about clothes; it’s an extension of self-expression. It’s a means to showcase who I am authentically.
What services do you offer, and what’s the best way to connect with you?
I provide a range of services, including personal styling, personal shopping, wardrobe revamping, and wardrobe styling for on-set photoshoots and videos. The best way to get in touch with me, you can find me on Instagram at @Morefined and reach me via email at morefined@gmail.com.
For The Girls Who Live Out Loud
Tomi Randall, Stylist
How did you cultivate your signature style?
Over time, by allowing my authentic self to shine through. I was able to align myself with the brands that aligned closely with my own personal values while being unapologetic AF.
Can you tell me about one of your style must-haves?
Necklines: turtlenecks, crewnecks, v-neck, or a cowl are great. Each neckline deserves its own unique necklace that complements the shape of each given silhouette. So it’s MAJOR to give yourself options that help you elevate your look.
What have you learned from your style influences?
June Ambrose; said “ I'VE NEVER CONSIDERED MYSELF TO BE A "FASHION GIRL." BECAUSE I DIDN'T GO INTO IT NEEDING TO BE ACCEPTED BY THE FASHION DESIGNERS AND THE HOUSES. I WAS BUILDING MY OWN ATELIERS AND WRITING MY OWN TICKET, CREATING MY OWN PATH.”
I’ve learned through the hard work & dedication June Ambrose possessed at harnessing and honing in on her authentic eclectics in the carvings of her path that I too can strive to create a standard, my own standard, the new standard.
Sometimes I go to events and it feels like we all shopped at the same place. Tell me about a few of the ways you keep your looks so stylish yet unique.
It’s not what you wear, it’s how you wear it. My style is divinely guided by my higher self. She comes alive with texture, embodies moods, & sets the tone for any room she enters.
What services do you offer, and what's the best way to connect with you?
I provide my client the full luxury experience for both styling and couture design services for red carpet appearances, interviews, music videos, commercial, film and TV and one one-on-one image consulting/ virtual styling.
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Kirby Carroll grew up in VA but now calls Atlanta, GA home. She has a passion for creating content and helping brands grow through storytelling and public relations. When not immersed in work, you can find her sipping a mimosa at brunch or bingeing a new TV drama on Netflix. Keep up with her on social media at @askKirbyCarroll.
Luxury Hairstylist On Viral 'Hey Boo' Texts & Professionalism In The Hair Industry
As Black women, our hair is our crowning glory - whether we paid for it or not. We take pride in how we wear and take care of our hair. As with everything, hair care and hair styling have evolved over the years. Long gone are the days of Blue Magic (although I hear it’s making a comeback).
Now, we have a plethora of creams, oils, conditioners, shampoos, and stylists to choose from. Beyond wearing our natural curls, we have a range of options, from wigs and sew-ins to tape-ins, I-tips, and K-tips. So much choice! But you know what they say about too much of a good thing...
The Black hair industry has definitely blossomed in the last decade with a wave of new stylists and salons popping up all over the place. As much as I love that for us, many of these stylists have become the subjects of viral TikTok and Instagram tirades because of their alleged questionable behavior and bizarre rules.
Excessive policies, strange fees, long wait times, poor performance, and the infamous “Hey boo” texts. Beauty is pain, they say… xoNecole got to the root of these issues with luxury hair extensionist Dee Michelle, who’s been in the hair game for 20 years and runs a seven-figure business - all while being a mom of four.
Antonio Livingston
“I started my business with my career in the hair industry [at] very, very young age when I was maybe like eight...So, over the years, I've just built a very successful seven-figure business very quickly just by offering high-end services and creating great experiences for my clients, many of whom are high-profile professionals,” she said. “I'm also a mother of four, including a set of triplets, which inspires me daily to show what's possible with my hard work and focus.”
Dee’s business has gone viral on social media because of what many call outrageous prices for her invisible K-Tip installs.
“When I developed my invisible K-tip extensions technique, I made sure that it wasn't just about the hair or the style, but about providing a high-end experience from start to finish. So, my clients just aren't paying for the extensions or just the style itself, but they're investing into my meticulous, seamless craft and premium hair sourced from the best suppliers…I've spent so many hours mastering my craft, creating this seamless method that gives my clients long-lasting natural results, and my pricing just reflects that - the value of my expertise and the exclusivity of the service.”
The K-tip specialist stands on business when it comes to catering to her clients and giving them an experience worth the cost.
“And it's just important for me to also say that my clients are high-profile individuals who value quality, their privacy, and their time. They want a service that fits into their lifestyle and their time. They want things that deliver perfection. And I deliver that every single time.”
I’m sure we’ve all seen the various TikTok rants about people’s nightmare experiences with stylists and uttered a silent “FELT!” We asked Dee her opinion on a few nightmare scenarios that beg the response, “please be so forreal."
On stylists charging extra to wash clients’ hair:
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
On ‘deposits’ that don’t go towards the cost of the service:
“I think that's kind of weird, too, for deposits to not be like a part of the service. I've seen people have booking fees and I just don't understand it, to be honest. I disagree with that kind of policy…By all means, people should do what works for them, but to me, it doesn't make sense. Why does somebody have to pay a fee just to book an appointment with you? I don't get it. It feels like exploitation.”
On stylists charging extra to style (straighten/curl) wigs, sew-ins etc., after installing:
“I don't get it. Clients come to us to get their hair done, to get it styled. So why is it extra for you to style it? If you're going to charge extra, just increase your price. I feel like it could be just a lack of confidence in those stylists, feeling like people won't pay a certain price for certain things, or just their lack of professionalism as well, because people are coming to us to get styled.”
On the infamous “Hey boo” text stylists send to clients when they need to cancel/reschedule:
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
We know all too well what kinds of things will keep us from ever gracing certain hairstylists’ chairs with our butts again. So, what should hairstylists do to provide a good service to their clients? What is good hairstylist etiquette?
“For one, being on time is an important rule for stylist etiquette. It's just not okay to require your clients to be on time, and you're not on time. Also, communication. Being able to communicate clearly, respectfully, and professionally, whether that's in person, via text, or on social media. Style is etiquette. Appearance matters. So just maintaining a clean, polished, and professional look. Clients respect you more whenever your appearance reflects your work. There's just so many things, but another thing I would say is active listening. So, being able to pay close attention to what your client wants and also clarifying any questions that they might have. Just to ensure that they feel heard and to minimize any misunderstandings.”
Dee also shared some red flags to look out for when considering a new stylist.
“Even me as a client, if I'm booking somebody and they have a long list of rules, I don't even book with them. That's, for one, just such a huge turn-off. Also, stylists who have inconsistent or unclear pricing, that's a red flag. People who change their rates too much without an explanation. Poor communication. So, if a stylist is responding very slow or responding unprofessionally, or giving vague answers to questions, that can make clients question whether or not they are respecting their time and their needs.
Another red flag - an inconsistent or low quality portfolio. And I feel like, I see this a lot with stylists stealing other people's work, and their portfolio on social media is just very inconsistent.”
We couldn’t let Dee go without getting the tea on what styles she predicts will trend in 2025.
“I feel like people are going back to natural-looking styles. So, a lot of people are ditching the wigs, the lace fronts, things like that. People are still wearing them, of course, but it is becoming more of a trend to embrace your natural hair and something that's not looking too fake. That’s one thing that we're going to be seeing a lot. I would say a lot of layers are coming back, heavy layers. Those are becoming really, really trendy. And people are leaning more towards platinum-colored hair. I've been seeing lots of like blondes coming out. Also, jet black is always going to be a trend. But I would say more like natural colors, but natural colors that are still making a statement.”
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Feature image by Antonio Livingston.
One of my favorite things to do is kiss. In fact, kissing is so important to me that I once stayed with someone longer than I should’ve, in part, because he was such a good kisser (to the point where I can confirm that “kissing orgasms” are a real thing) and I also once broke up with someone because he absolutely sucked at kissing (ugh). Kissing is sexy. Kissing is sensual. Kissing is intimate.
And science says that kissing can boost endorphin levels in your body; reduce feelings that are associated with stress and anxiety; elevate your immunity; help to lessen allergy-related symptoms; soothe headaches and period cramp discomfort; make you horny (yes, literally), and even decrease your chances of getting cavities.
Yes, kissing is a good thing. A really good thing.
Oh, but as someone who is turning out to be one of my favorite philosophers (Aristotle) once said, the excess of a virtue can indeed turn into a vice — and as far as kissing is concerned, that can prove itself to be true in a way that some may have thought was nothing more than an urban myth: getting STIs (sexually transmitted infections)/STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) from doing it.
Yep, if you heard somewhere that you can get an STI/STD from puckering up, there is indeed some truth to that, so please take a moment to read more about it. That way, you can finally separate fact from fiction.
Bottom Line, Yes…You Can. However, the Risks Are Relatively Low.
Honestly, if you let it sink in that a kiss that lasts for longer than 10 seconds will result in about 80 million bacteria being exchanged, that alone should cause it to make all of the sense in the world that a kiss isn’t something that should be taken as casually as a lot of people do. And although, when it comes to STIs/STDs, it is far easier to transmit them through penetrative or oral sex, the reality is that there are some that can you get via saliva or the mucous membranes that are in your mouth (although infected saliva that is on something like a sex toy makes your chances much lower because STIs/STDs tend to “deactivate” once they are exposed to the air).
And since “low probability” doesn’t mean “absolutely not,” I think we should look into which STIs/STDs could become an issue whenever you go in for a smooch vs. the ones that you don’t really have to concern yourself with at all.
The STIs/STDs That You CAN Get from Kissing
So, here’s the deal: If you happen to have a cut in your mouth or you’ve got a cold sore, that can significantly increase your chances of being exposed to an STI/STD if your partner happens to have one. Which ones am I speaking of specifically?
- Herpes (more specifically, HSV-1)
- Syphilis
- Cytomegalovirus (CMV)
- Human Papillomavirus (HPV)
Now something that’s important to keep in mind about three out of four of these (herpes, CMV, and HPV), is that, although they are very treatable, they currently don’t have a cure. As far as the one that does have one (syphilis), it’s important that it’s discovered and treated in its early stages; otherwise, it can lead to things like weight and hair loss, infertility and, if ignored for too long, it can even become life-threatening.
I don’t know about y’all but, to me, this all sounds like valid enough reasons to be cautious when it comes to who you share your mouth with.
The STIs/STDs That You CAN’T Get from Kissing
Okay, so what STIs/STDs does science say you don’t have to worry about when you’re kissing someone?
- Chlamydia
- Gonorrhea
- Hepatitis
- Trichomoniasis
- HIV
- Pelvic inflammatory disease (PID)
The reason why is because these are all things that are spread through oral, anal, or vaginal sex acts (however, they can oftentimes be asymptomatic, so if you are sexually active, please make sure to get tested no less than once a year). That said, if you do happen to have one of these STIs/STDs, please show courtesy and respect to your partner by letting them know — even if sex isn’t currently on the table for you.
Although research does indeed say that kissing doesn’t put them at risk, they still have the right to decide if they want to move forward with intimacy, of any kind, while these health-related issues are being treated.
5 Ways to Reduce Your Chances of Getting an STI/STD from Kissing
Okay, so now that you can confidently separate what you should actually know (and take to heart) from what you may have randomly heard that couldn’t be further from the truth, if you’re curious about what you can do to decrease your chances of getting an STI/STD from kissing, I’ve got a few tips:
Take kissing seriously. Grandma said don’t put your mouth everywhere and she’s right. In a world that continually tries to gaslight us into thinking that we can (and damn near should) just do whatever with whoever without consequence, as you can see, that’s simply not true — especially when you take into account how wild it is that most of the STIs/STDs that you can get from kissing don’t have a cure.
Moral to this story: Your mouth is as valuable as every other part of your body. It is a privilege to kiss it, so please act accordingly. Oh, and don’t be afraid to ask about people’s sexual health status before letting them put their tongue all up and in your mouth. You know what they say — an ounce of prevention is always gonna be worth a pound of cure (or treatment).
Practice intentional oral hygiene. Hopefully, brushing and flossing on a daily basis are a given. What I mean here is you should look for signs of cold sores, cuts, or lesions in your mouth (including a blister that you may get from a burned tongue) on a weekly basis. If any of these are evident in you or your partner, it’s best to wait to kiss (if you haven’t BOTH recently been tested).
Y’all be careful with all of the sexy biting. Speaking of open wounds (relatively speaking, anyway), although I once read that, according to the Kama Sutra, biting lips while kissing is a sign of strong desire and sexual arousal, it can also leave cuts that could make you more vulnerable to getting sick. So, on this one, enter with caution. Straight up.
Don’t kiss when you’re feeling under the weather. Mono, colds and the flu, COVID-19, stomach viruses — these are some of the other things that you and your partner can give to one another while exchanging a kiss. Since some of the symptoms that are related to these may mimic some that come from an STI/STD, it’s best to not kiss when you are sick — not until you can confirm what you have and (preferably) the symptoms have passed.
Get tested on a regular basis. The only way that you are going to know for sure that kissing is a low-risk behavior for you and your partner is if you both get tested. If you’d prefer to do it from the comfort, convenience, and privacy of your own home, there are STI/STD tests that you can have sent to you (like the ones here, here, and here). They aren’t necessarily the cheapest in the world, yet they are pretty darn accurate and can give you the peace of mind that you seek.
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Listen, I am Team Kissing just as much as the next person. However, whenever I stop to think about all that goes on in a mouth, I thought it was important that you become aware as well. As I said earlier, a good kiss is pretty incomparable. Let’s all just make sure that we leave kisses better and not worse off after experiencing them — literally and figuratively.
Amen? I’m sayin’.
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